Many Questions

[OB1]

Kinda of strange after 3.5 years I'm still posting on this forum..Still have everything at a stand still.

Presently my exs is more or less doing everything without consulting with me. She has recently obtained another daycare and not told me anything about her. Yesterday, my daughter told me that it is somone in thier building. I no nothing about this person. When I asked my exs she said it was a last minute think. I've been paying her cash for the daycare fees, as it is a private caregiver.

I will be going on holidays next week, she agreed to give me the children for 3 weeks in a row. Do I still need to pay her full CS? or can I give her partial CS..We have no seperation agreement. I also suggested the children be with her for her upcoming birthday, she said she would only take them for part of the day.. I suggested she have them for the whole day. Is it standard for a child to be with the parent on thier birthday?

And fianally..My daughter turns 12 next month and expressed much interest in living with me 50%..Whats my chances of fullfilling her wishes? Wants her lawyer contacts me I do plan to change my settlement offer to refect what my daughter is asking for..

Thanks Again

God Bless

 

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I've been paying her cash for the daycare fees, as it is a private caregiver.

I would make sure to get a receipt from the ex for the day care/ child care provider costs. Even if it is a simple letter stating something along the lines, "received from John Smith, $000.00 for child care for March through June inclusive." And have someone sign it and you sign it.
I would also ask again about the person caring for your children. I think if your manner seems to be confrontational, she will most likely not be very forth coming, if it's more matter of fact you may have better luck. Like, By the way, I understand you have a new sitter for the kids. Having her right there in the building must make it alot more convenient for you? Let her reply to that, move to another topic and then come bask to the sitter and ask more specific questions about names, what other work they do outside the home, do they have kids too, things that are not very specific just to get her comfortable talking about the person caring for the kids. Even if you ask the occasional question here and there over a few weeks.

I will be going on holidays next week, she agreed to give me the children for 3 weeks in a row. Do I still need to pay her full CS?

Unfortunately I think you would still be responsible for the full month only because it is a single month. I realise it doesn't seem just, but I would think that void anything on paper, would mean you are to pay full amount. Is it worth the head ache to argue the point for one month. That's the question you have to ask yourself, as you know your ex and you know yourself.

Is it standard for a child to be with the parent on thier birthday?[?QUOTE]

yes, it is standard for the parent to have the children on their birthday, and mother's have the kids on Mother's Day and Father's have them on Father's Day. Everything else is usually shared or alternated.

My daughter turns 12 next month and expressed much interest in living with me 50%..Whats my chances of fullfilling her wishes? Wants her lawyer contacts me I do plan to change my settlement offer to refect what my daughter is asking for..

In our case, to have the children's wishes heard in court, we needed to ask for and have a children's advocate lawyer appointed. Then the children had meetings with the lawyer, and ultimately we had an appearance in court to alter the order to include the desires of the children.

Just my experience.

 

[logicalvelocity]

I have to echo the advice FL has given.

lv