x took away an overnight to reduce my time with the kids and bring me below the 40% threshold (in her opinion) so I'll have to pay full tabled cs.
Here is some background information:
x is very hard to negotiate with and a very persuasive person even if she is right or wrong. She is asking for rather large equalization of assets in her favour. Has been out of work since separation beginning of year and claims she isn't working and can't find a job. Her last job prior to beginning of year lasted 2.5 years and was making more money than me. Is leveraging all of this against me to receive full cs and ss payments. She is more than capable of working as she has demonstrated over our marriage of 14,5 yrs.
x (mom) left matrimonial home in march to live with gf and and I (dad) stayed with the children d11 and d13 until home sold in august. time with children spent 1 2 1 3. During school I'd meet the kids at home on my days for overnight and x would meet them on her days leaving in the evenings sometime between 6 and 9pm, then I would come home to overnight. I'd stay away on her weekends as best as possible and return home every night in evenings to overnight. During the summer x would spend days with kids till 4pm when I returned home from work. We each had 2 weeks of summer vacation with the children. When the x had the last two weeks of summer to vacation with children her lawyer send me a letter that the children will be going to school in Brampton and x will be moving there as well. (its a 20 min drive from the small town of the matrimonial home and my current residence to the area of Brampton were she is moving) Old lawyer said I could not do anything about it with the courts and I would more than likely end up paying her for costs... I continue to live in the same small town as we had previously tried to negotiated me buying her out of the matrimonial home. This was not feasible due to equalized division of assets she was requesting in her favour. A few weeks into the school year x's lawyer informs me that children will now be alternating my Tuesday overnight. She no longer has a lawyer and claims she can't afford one and sent my lawyer a letter asking to settle on all issues especially the parenting plan. I replied that I want shared time (custody) with the children. Her reply was that the children prefer not to see me on that alternating Tuesday and had them back this up during a unannounced speaker phone conversation with all four of us. X tells me that if I go against their wishes I will regret it and pay for it in the end, She wants me to finalize a parenting plan based on this missing day and that when my 13 year old daughter turns 14 she can stay were she wants anyways. I'm assuming x threatens she would persuade her to stay with her as much as possible.
Some persuasive proof that my wife is influencing the children:
my d11 told me that they prefer to see me only 40% of the time so they can have time with their grandmother etc... What kind of kids says this? I asked her what that meant and she couldn't even give me a clear answer.
X claims the 20 minute drive from their school to my place interferes with their after school activities etc. etc. and the kids mentioned this to me.
makes it difficult to communicate with the children when they are with her and the children always seem uncomfortable when I do talk with then. When they are with me it as if the cloud has lifted and all is normal.
x only communicates through the children and not directly with me although I still send her email and text messages regarding communication and parenting issues.
I'd consider moving to an area closer to the children's school but x is staying with gf so she could pick up and move again. Other than going to court my only solution would be to agree to the alternating Tuesday overnight but if I move closer to the girls schools the Tuesday would be "given" back. I know she won't accept that solution since it would impact on her cs payments when she gets a job.
So my questions are:
what are the odds of me getting back my Tuesday if I go to court? My current lawyer suggested involving the OCL but now that my wife has persuaded the kids regarding the Tuesday I'm worried about the outcome. I'm going to talk to the kids soon without the x around and find out what the reason is for not wanting to see me on every TTuesday. Every other lawyer I consulted with (3 or 4) mainly thought this was an issue about equalization and that I'm lucky to have such a generous visitation schedule with the kids and not only will I be paying full c.s, but I'll also be paying full ss until x get a job. As a family we all talked about sharing time together and did that until school started. I've payed for all the children's school activities and many extra curricular activities in full but have not started to pay any cs. I'm waiting for a pension evaluation in order to give her a comprehensive separation agreement regarding the financials. I feel I deserve equal time with my children and that I'm being extorted to except less...
Here is some background information:
x is very hard to negotiate with and a very persuasive person even if she is right or wrong. She is asking for rather large equalization of assets in her favour. Has been out of work since separation beginning of year and claims she isn't working and can't find a job. Her last job prior to beginning of year lasted 2.5 years and was making more money than me. Is leveraging all of this against me to receive full cs and ss payments. She is more than capable of working as she has demonstrated over our marriage of 14,5 yrs.
x (mom) left matrimonial home in march to live with gf and and I (dad) stayed with the children d11 and d13 until home sold in august. time with children spent 1 2 1 3. During school I'd meet the kids at home on my days for overnight and x would meet them on her days leaving in the evenings sometime between 6 and 9pm, then I would come home to overnight. I'd stay away on her weekends as best as possible and return home every night in evenings to overnight. During the summer x would spend days with kids till 4pm when I returned home from work. We each had 2 weeks of summer vacation with the children. When the x had the last two weeks of summer to vacation with children her lawyer send me a letter that the children will be going to school in Brampton and x will be moving there as well. (its a 20 min drive from the small town of the matrimonial home and my current residence to the area of Brampton were she is moving) Old lawyer said I could not do anything about it with the courts and I would more than likely end up paying her for costs... I continue to live in the same small town as we had previously tried to negotiated me buying her out of the matrimonial home. This was not feasible due to equalized division of assets she was requesting in her favour. A few weeks into the school year x's lawyer informs me that children will now be alternating my Tuesday overnight. She no longer has a lawyer and claims she can't afford one and sent my lawyer a letter asking to settle on all issues especially the parenting plan. I replied that I want shared time (custody) with the children. Her reply was that the children prefer not to see me on that alternating Tuesday and had them back this up during a unannounced speaker phone conversation with all four of us. X tells me that if I go against their wishes I will regret it and pay for it in the end, She wants me to finalize a parenting plan based on this missing day and that when my 13 year old daughter turns 14 she can stay were she wants anyways. I'm assuming x threatens she would persuade her to stay with her as much as possible.
Some persuasive proof that my wife is influencing the children:
my d11 told me that they prefer to see me only 40% of the time so they can have time with their grandmother etc... What kind of kids says this? I asked her what that meant and she couldn't even give me a clear answer.
X claims the 20 minute drive from their school to my place interferes with their after school activities etc. etc. and the kids mentioned this to me.
makes it difficult to communicate with the children when they are with her and the children always seem uncomfortable when I do talk with then. When they are with me it as if the cloud has lifted and all is normal.
x only communicates through the children and not directly with me although I still send her email and text messages regarding communication and parenting issues.
I'd consider moving to an area closer to the children's school but x is staying with gf so she could pick up and move again. Other than going to court my only solution would be to agree to the alternating Tuesday overnight but if I move closer to the girls schools the Tuesday would be "given" back. I know she won't accept that solution since it would impact on her cs payments when she gets a job.
So my questions are:
what are the odds of me getting back my Tuesday if I go to court? My current lawyer suggested involving the OCL but now that my wife has persuaded the kids regarding the Tuesday I'm worried about the outcome. I'm going to talk to the kids soon without the x around and find out what the reason is for not wanting to see me on every TTuesday. Every other lawyer I consulted with (3 or 4) mainly thought this was an issue about equalization and that I'm lucky to have such a generous visitation schedule with the kids and not only will I be paying full c.s, but I'll also be paying full ss until x get a job. As a family we all talked about sharing time together and did that until school started. I've payed for all the children's school activities and many extra curricular activities in full but have not started to pay any cs. I'm waiting for a pension evaluation in order to give her a comprehensive separation agreement regarding the financials. I feel I deserve equal time with my children and that I'm being extorted to except less...
