Making sure im on the right path.

As someone already stated this, I will only put more emphasis_ BE VERY CAREFUL how much you promote your employable skills. Any lawyer with half a brain will ask for your income to imputed AT LEAST to a minimum wage. Also, your ex probably has a good idea that you work under the table, so don't be surprised if she will bring that up. Just saying. Be prepared for this.
 
SynGreis said:
you missed the part where i have declaration of parenthood.
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So she has stated that you are the dad...shortly after stating you weren't the dad.....don't you think she may just trying to daddy shop and get the person who can pay the most in c/s to be the "father"? You realize that this is something that isn't exactly uncommon right???

I am not saying there isn't a 90% or better chance that you are the dad. But for a few hundred $$ you can be positive. Right now, you believe you are. There are people that believe a lot of things.

Be sure about it. Get the test. If nothing else it will give you comfort that you can be sure and never have that nagging thought in the back of your head.

IMO, you'd be negligent/stupid not to have the test. She's gotten herself around, right about the time you broke up. Be sure that you aren't about to commit to raising someone elses kid.
 
Quoted by HD: "IMO, you'd be negligent/stupid not to have the test. She's gotten herself around, right about the time you broke up. Be sure that you aren't about to commit to raising someone elses kid."

Very sound advice, as you never know.. Some other guy might be the baby daddy and is responsible for "knocking her up."

*eyes rolling*
 
SynGreis said:
knocked girlfriend up April 2011, avoided me for the pregnancy, went to go see my first born son day after birth jan 22 2012. after i called to say i was moving closer, told me might not be mine. she asked if i want dna test, was too pissed off to agree, told her to get other guy to do it. 2 weeks after mid feb told me wasnt mine didnt have to worry about it. week after she called me to say guy walked out, i told her i wanted to be involved since we knew each other for 8 years dating off/on. i told her i wanted to see the dna test to know for personal knowledge. she replied other guy didn't want to give it out because of CC info on it(since when??). i maintained i still wanted to see something saying he was the dad or saying i wasn't.

start of march 2012 she agreed to let me see my son 2 hours a week(shitty i know but i wanted to see my son regardless if blood or not) went on for 4 weeks, she cut me off thinking i wasn't trying hard enough(was trying the best i can with the time i had). kicked me out and told me to come back in may to see if i wanted to stick around. was thinking wtf is her problem. i thought just by showing up and caring for a child that wasn't mine was devotion enough...
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It seems to me you don't really want to know if the child is really yours or not.
 
again ive known her for almost a decade, she never shown any signs of sleeping around and again the definition of parenthood is already established and they already issued the declaration of parenthood. Again i never really bought into the idea of him not being mine as there was too many discrepancies. Way too many.

if i charge for any of my work, the contracts would virtually disappear. the economy crippled my contract work business and all the good ones will either pay you 1% of what you normally would get or nothing at all. so if i charged i wouldnt get a single contract its that pathetic. so i have to pick and choose which ones i charge for.
 
I agree w/what Mess said. You don't seem to really want to "know."

What exactly are the "signs" that someone is "sleeping around?" Most people don't invite spectators when they engage in sex, so why/how on earth would you 'know' if/when she's had sexual relationships with other people? Given your spotty past ("on/off again") with the mother, it would be wise to ascertain paternity.
 
again it doesnt matter now because of the declaration of parenthood, the "other guy" lost its claim when he abandoned the child and "walked out" alledgedly.
 
SynGreis said:
if i charge for any of my work, the contracts would virtually disappear. the economy crippled my contract work business and all the good ones will either pay you 1% of what you normally would get or nothing at all. so if i charged i wouldnt get a single contract its that pathetic. so i have to pick and choose which ones i charge for.
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If you charged for your work, you wouldn't get any work? Well, that makes about as much sense as what this coffee cup is whispering to me.
 
What exactly IS a "declaration of parenthood?" OP: you seem to have adopted a "last man standing" approach.

Mess: the OP appears to work on the barter system, despite his superior (self-tauht) credentials/qualifications. According to him, he works mainly for food, and requires feeding every couple of hours (due to a medical condition.)
 
images
 
SynGreis said:
again it doesnt matter now because of the declaration of parenthood, the "other guy" lost its claim when he abandoned the child and "walked out" alledgedly.
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So you are blindly willing to fill his shoes.

You do realize that, even though the other guy is out of the picture right now, should he decide to establish paternity and be successful, he will be entitled to parental rights/parenting time and you'd possibly be stuck continuing to pay c/s for a child that isn't yours.

I understand you want this child to be yours and truely believe that the child is yours. But you'd be shoving your head in the dirt to not think there is even the remote possibility that the child may not be yours. Why not save yourself from a lifetime of possible heartache and headache by having the test done now? What do you have to lose by having the test done? It can only solidify your feelings now or allow you to exit stage left should you so choose.

It can also save the child from possible confusion should you not be the father and all the sudden the guy re-enters the picture.
 
^ priceless.

the economy puts people into such a strain for contract work that if they dont work for 10% of the price they dont get the contract because the employer(or whatever) doesnt have alot of money either.

i dont taunt my education i just worked hard for it but i cant utilize it to get a decent paycheck right now so im more interested in other things such as growing gardens, off the grid things. i already got my landlords exempted from hydro and electricity completely by building a magnetic field capable in generating up to 15 kw/h thats a burden off my back and theirs.

i got a shed in the back where i grow my own fruits/veggies/potatoes and other things to help offset my food bill.

the needs of the child would be met by way of food a house and other things.

if i were to be given a grant of 30k from a government i can build an earth ship with some friends and surpass the Kyoto agreements while having everything in that earth ship that would cause me to NEVER have to work out of necessity again as i would have everything i need from within the building.

so for having a lack of "money" i redeem myself with resourcefulness and creative abilities. i can take care of myself and my child if i were to be given free reign on the materials(most of them is recyclable, such as glass bottles, and also tires would be probably given to me as impounds don't pay the disposing fee).

anyways...you get what i mean. i dont value money but i know how to provide in other ways.
 
HammerDad said:
So you are blindly willing to fill his shoes.

You do realize that, even though the other guy is out of the picture right now, should he decide to establish paternity and be successful, he will be entitled to parental rights/parenting time and you'd possibly be stuck continuing to pay c/s for a child that isn't yours.

I understand you want this child to be yours and truely believe that the child is yours. But you'd be shoving your head in the dirt to not think there is even the remote possibility that the child may not be yours. Why not save yourself from a lifetime of possible heartache and headache by having the test done now? What do you have to lose by having the test done? It can only solidify your feelings now or allow you to exit stage left should you so choose.

It can also save the child from possible confusion should you not be the father and all the sudden the guy re-enters the picture.
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no the dad walked out thus abandoning assuming that this was even true. there are several cases where the judge ruled the non biological dad simply because the mother was with him the longest and that there was no objections for the early childhood. since me and the mother was together on/off regardless its been 8 years.
 
Ok so it's been established you are a strange one indeed. Not many people want to take on parenting for a child when paternity isn't certain.

First of all, I believe that to be a good and effective parent you have to ensure that your health issues are addressed. I am not convinced that you have done that. Your reluctance to address this issue might indicate a tendency to self-diagnose. Do you have an aversion to the medical community? If your child was ill with an unusual medical ailment would you simply accept it? Sometimes parents have to scream and yell, go to a myriad of specialists until a proper diagnosis is made. Are you prepared to do this? It's very tiring waiting in an emergency room for days on end.

Secondly, you should be able to prove that you can provide adequately for the child. Working in a cash-only business with no documentation of income makes that extremely difficult. If you pay for no medical benefits through an employer how can you be sure that you will be able to pay for your child?

I think that you have to do what is best for the child. In your case, getting your medical condition reassessed would be a good start. After you have that figured out you should look for employment which has a comprehensive medical benefit package. If you are the father of the child in question, it could very well be that your child develops the same condition that you have.

Just some things to consider.
 
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