Making sure im on the right path.

Just to add a few things... you want to open a "joint" bank account with this lady? You do realize that you have no say in how CS is spent? Opening up a joint account is unnecessary, as she does not have to let you know what the CS was used for.

Also with the traveling... she has to ask permission to go out of Windsor-Essex region? I can understand if she was to cross the boarder, but what it she wants to go visit family, in say London, she has to ask you 72 hours in advance? That seems silly to me. There is no law stopping her from traveling across Ontario, as long as she does not deny you access on your parenting time.

CS should be offset when in a 50-50 situation, and currently you should be paying at least $176 as that is based on $22,000, which is basically full time min wage...surely you can pay the guideline amount. At least you should be.

Agree with Mess...take out the "read, agree, disagree" portion.
 
I'm honestly surprised so many are helping this person word his documents to not be so offensive. He is coming across as an incredibly toxic individual who will 'win' at any cost regardless what may be in the best interests of this child.

I did give him advice regarding CAS to be truthful and alleviate his fears that it was standard operating procedure. I figured he'd show his true colors and they'd see through him.

He reminds me of my ex - manipulative and smart enough to be able to fake it so those who haven't dealt with him on an ongoing basis fall into place with his agenda.

Did he purposefully invade grandpa's space in a threatening manner who was holding the child which led to the shove? After re-reading this thread there is very little doubt in my mind.

I seriously feel for this child. Hopefully a DNA test will clear up those whole mess.

i do not win at any costs because only the child will suffer for what we are doing. if i were given the opportunity to settle this outside of court on mutual consent id take it, i don't like the idea that a 3rd party adjudicator is going to make a decision like this that will effect our personal lives. But at that time i could not think of a better way. Now that i am more relaxed i can thoroughly go through and craft documents that can achieve an agreement without wasting the courts time and our time and finances.

and i took your advice, my questioning or concerns was not because i was lying but because that they would ask personal invasive questions that had nothing to do. CAS is a nightmare and i have horror stories from friends where they divulge too much information and somehow was used against them on assumption and presumption which in turn made their lives hell.

yes i am smart and cunning in my own way, but that doesn't give justification or reason to believe i would fake events relating to this case.

i do damage to the grand father? yea right. this guy is 280, ripped and has biker friends, you think id start shit with him?

I have no doubt that its mine and that i never bought into the story of this other guy not because i was in denial or whatever but because there was too many discrepancies. She could not even tell me what it said about the determination of the father even though she claims she made a copy. When i requested to inspect it she conveniently could not find it.
 
Just to add a few things... you want to open a "joint" bank account with this lady? You do realize that you have no say in how CS is spent? Opening up a joint account is unnecessary, as she does not have to let you know what the CS was used for.

Also with the traveling... she has to ask permission to go out of Windsor-Essex region? I can understand if she was to cross the boarder, but what it she wants to go visit family, in say London, she has to ask you 72 hours in advance? That seems silly to me. There is no law stopping her from traveling across Ontario, as long as she does not deny you access on your parenting time.

CS should be offset when in a 50-50 situation, and currently you should be paying at least $176 as that is based on $22,000, which is basically full time min wage...surely you can pay the guideline amount. At least you should be.

Agree with Mess...take out the "read, agree, disagree" portion.

thank you berner, again the offer to settle was preliminary and i did not expect this to be sent off to her. Her entire family resides within the essex area. She has told me several times. The only time she left outside of town was because of a funeral of her close friend. I have known her for 8 years and she indeed has never left windsor or essex. but to hopefully come to an agreement i agree where you are coming from, i will put in a modification of that and let you know when i have a revised offer.

minimum wage is 10.25$ * 40 hours per week is = 410$ * 52 weeks is 21320$.

this is under the assumption that you are working 8 hours a day 5 days a week EVERY SINGLE week.

that number is just unrealistic. Not to mention the taxes you normally would pay, plus your monthly bills and expenses.

Since i do not exceed or even make it on the guidelines an order cannot be issued against me. But i continue to offer in good faith to help support and ensure that my childs needs will be met without hardship from the mother.

to further this...

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fcy-fea/lib-bib/tool-util/apps/look-rech/index.asp#results

for me to pay 150 i would have to make 18910 a year. With the economy that is going on with windsor and essex, your lucky to even land a job. If you already have one, you better be a good slave and suck up just to keep it.

and yes i will remove the agree stuff. My intent was really to help decipher exactly what she agreed and disagreed in a point by point response. My intentions were never to dehumanize her in any way.
 
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Yes -keep reminding yourself that 'what is best for the child'. You haven't come across this way.

While I understand we all have a personal interest invested in our children, your wording makes you sound like an underhanded individual who has an unknown agenda. You live off the grid, you accept gifts in lieu of pay, do not pay taxes. Yet you work in technology which indicates you have enough money to pay hydro and internet. You have the capacity to make close to 6 figures either through contracting or in a private company but are willing to adjust your salary to minimum wage. Is that in the best interests of the child?

You like the idea of a republic yet it wasn't a republic that educated you, or gave you the freedom to live your life the way you choose. You like things only in the way that they favor you. Look up the word Narcissist.

I think it's admirable that you want to come a mutual agreement but are you really looking out for the best interest of all parties?

So what if he is 280 pound ripped biker with biker friends? He had the child in his arms which makes him vulnerable. Being a biker does not make him any less a loving parent/grandparent who will protect his family when threatened.

The fact that the paternity test proves he isn't the father doesn't make it automatic you are the father. If she slept with two guys who says there couldn't be a third option?
 
Yes -keep reminding yourself that 'what is best for the child'. You haven't come across this way.

While I understand we all have a personal interest invested in our children, your wording makes you sound like an underhanded individual who has an unknown agenda. You live off the grid, you accept gifts in lieu of pay, do not pay taxes. Yet you work in technology which indicates you have enough money to pay hydro and internet. You have the capacity to make close to 6 figures either through contracting or in a private company but are willing to adjust your salary to minimum wage. Is that in the best interests of the child?

You like the idea of a republic yet it wasn't a republic that educated you, or gave you the freedom to live your life the way you choose. You like things only in the way that they favor you. Look up the word Narcissist.

I think it's admirable that you want to come a mutual agreement but are you really looking out for the best interest of all parties?

So what if he is 280 pound ripped biker with biker friends? He had the child in his arms which makes him vulnerable. Being a biker does not make him any less a loving parent/grandparent who will protect his family when threatened.

The fact that the paternity test proves he isn't the father doesn't make it automatic you are the father. If she slept with two guys who says there couldn't be a third option?

again my wording reflects my experience in programming, strict to the point and close up any loopholes. you have to handle exceptions and pass down variables and execute them in proper form and type. Again its not my intention to come across that way and i am actively working with the fellow members with my offer to settle.

the grand father is huge, he can keep me away with just 1 arm should i somehow be possessed to do such a thing. I am not a threat to him even with the child.

You think i haven't applied for private companies or corporate businesses? I get rejected because i do not have a substantive portfolio and not enough experience. Although several companies will consider me within a few years, i still have to wait and get contracts to whatever they come by.

all the education i have obtained was not from college. Did i really have a choice myself personally for school and high school. not really, but how much do you honestly use what you learned from high school. i can safely say, nothing. absolutely nothing.

you got it wrong. she tried to claim that she had a copy of the dna test saying he WAS the father, but could not produce it.

Again please remain on topic.
 
again my wording reflects my experience in programming, strict to the point and close up any loopholes. you have to handle exceptions and pass down variables and execute them in proper form and type. Again its not my intention to come across that way and i am actively working with the fellow members with my offer to settle.
Think of both negotiations and legal documents as a programming language. In fact, legal documents were the first programming language. The style of writing, argument, paragraphing, etc. is all designed to follow a logical order. Each paragraph supports or explains the previous. Your writing is a jumble, and it looks like you cut and pasted a lot of it from old civil (not family law) documents you've found.

the grand father is huge, he can keep me away with just 1 arm should i somehow be possessed to do such a thing. I am not a threat to him even with the child.
We weren't there, so I have refrained from commenting. However there is such a thing as interpersonal skills, along with conflict resolution. I've also worked as a bouncer and, yes, there were many points where I had to flat out pound someone. My point is, you have the skills or you don't. If a situation is escalating, there are at least two people responsible and you are one of them.

You think i haven't applied for private companies or corporate businesses? I get rejected because i do not have a substantive portfolio and not enough experience. Although several companies will consider me within a few years, i still have to wait and get contracts to whatever they come by.
Look, I get that, and most of us do. However you are not presenting yourself as someone who is building a business by generating a portfolio. You present yourself as someone who wants to exist outside the "system" and doesn't choose to work on the books. When you present yourself that way, it colours everything else people see. This is not just personal advice, it is something that a judge is very likely to address when deciding if you are capable of having custody of a dependant. You have to get it through your head, the judge will be JUDGING you. That is what they are paid to do. You will have your life put under a microscope, you will be criticized, you will be judged. We have all been through this in varying degrees. It isn't fun. You are at greater risk because you don't follow a "standard" path in life. I'm not putting you down, I am preparing you for what you will be facing.

all the education i have obtained was not from college. Did i really have a choice myself personally for school and high school. not really, but how much do you honestly use what you learned from high school. i can safely say, nothing. absolutely nothing.
I asked you about this much earlier in the thread. I stated that you need to be clear if you have a degree or not. You replied that yes, you did have a degree. Again, you need to stop contradicting yourself, get your story straight, and above all, be factual. You will be in court, not in an internet chatroom.

you got it wrong. she tried to claim that she had a copy of the dna test saying he WAS the father, but could not produce it.
It has been a long thread, a lot of statements get mixed up.

Again please remain on topic.
We'll do our best, but you get what you pay for. ;)
 
again my wording reflects my experience in programming, strict to the point and close up any loopholes. you have to handle exceptions and pass down variables and execute them in proper form and type. Again its not my intention to come across that way and i am actively working with the fellow members with my offer to settle.

the grand father is huge, he can keep me away with just 1 arm should i somehow be possessed to do such a thing. I am not a threat to him even with the child.

You think i haven't applied for private companies or corporate businesses? I get rejected because i do not have a substantive portfolio and not enough experience. Although several companies will consider me within a few years, i still have to wait and get contracts to whatever they come by.

all the education i have obtained was not from college. Did i really have a choice myself personally for school and high school. not really, but how much do you honestly use what you learned from high school. i can safely say, nothing. absolutely nothing.

you got it wrong. she tried to claim that she had a copy of the dna test saying he WAS the father, but could not produce it.

Again please remain on topic.

I was a programming major and understand making sure all variables are addressed, closed so you don't fall into a never ending loop or BSOD. That doesn't mean you can take the same logic and apply it to life. Life especially with children is messy, unpredictable and not all exceptions can be managed by calling a routine method.

So you are applying for jobs but have yet to pay your dues. Then take a more junior position or co-op for a few months to prove yourself. Everyone starts off at a lower salary no matter their capabilities. Its what you do with the small opportunities to prove yourself an asset that will get you ahead, which you aren't doing. See if you can take night courses to get the paperwork to back up your knowledge.

For the record social skills are required for being an effective parent. Book smarts only get you so far.
 
that number is just unrealistic. Not to mention the taxes you normally would pay, plus your monthly bills and expenses.

Since i do not exceed or even make it on the guidelines an order cannot be issued against me. But i continue to offer in good faith to help support and ensure that my childs needs will be met without hardship from the mother.

to further this...

Justice Canada - Child Support Online Lookup

for me to pay 150 i would have to make 18910 a year. With the economy that is going on with windsor and essex, your lucky to even land a job. If you already have one, you better be a good slave and suck up just to keep it.

and yes i will remove the agree stuff. My intent was really to help decipher exactly what she agreed and disagreed in a point by point response. My intentions were never to dehumanize her in any way.

Shall this go to court this is a very, very high chance she will be successful of having an income imputed on you, of at least full time min wage.

As for jobs, I went to school in that region, the majority of my classmates were second career students and all but one of the crowd I spent my time with has a full time job.

I know for a fact there are jobs in that area, for the simple fact, I work for a company that has two offices down that way, both are hiring, and both have ads placed on Kijiji and other search engines.

Kijiji is showing 2079 jobs in the Windsor region... see here

50 of which are for computer/programmer knowledge (that is what you said you specialized in correct?) See here

Your argument that you cannot find a job is far fetched, the fact that you are saying you cannot afford an income of $22,000 a year is far fetched as well.

You really do need to think about what people are saying... these people have been through the system more times than you, there are people who have successfully imputed income on their ex. This seems to be a case of you don't want to work, rather than you cannot work.
 
PHP Developer - Windsor Region Computer Programming Jobs - Kijiji Windsor Region Canada.

of all the listings this is the one that is still open, i already sent in my application with 4 recommendation letters. im still waiting for a response.

all the others i already knew about and was taken just havent been removed or have not replied back to me.

I went to school in windsor also, St.Clair college got good stuff going on there.

when i apply i normally apply for mid low positions just to get my foot in the door, but those positions fill fast and by the time i contact them by email or phone they have the positions filled. my resume is quite extensive so its just not a piece of crap resume. i spent time into it to showcase my skills.

anyways back to revising my parental plan.

"I asked you about this much earlier in the thread. I stated that you need to be clear if you have a degree or not. You replied that yes, you did have a degree. Again, you need to stop contradicting yourself, get your story straight, and above all, be factual. You will be in court, not in an internet chatroom."

degree in web tech

recommendation letters from other fields.
 
Just a note for you to think about, and this is coming from me, who hires 10-30 people a year... do not apply to an entry level job if you have education for another position the company has available. Why? Because usually entry level positions pay less, if someone who has a lot of education is applying for a low level job with our company, we turn the other way... this is because we KNOW they are far more qualified for a better position and if we hire them for an entry level job, we run a very high risk of them walking, because they find a better job.

That being said, if we have different positions available and they apply for the low level one, we don't consider them for the other positions, we only consider them for the position they applied for and in some cases they are over qualified so we dismiss their resume.
 
ahh yes the "overqualified" shit. i know about it. that is why if i go for a low end job i make sure to bring up that i would be actively seeking a promotion or if they feel my skills should be somewhere else then im ok with it.

not everytime i go for low end jobs, i know if i got a good shot at it ill shoot for that job.
 
I'm still not clear on your education level, but you have been to college. Did you graduate? Your college should have a career centre open to alumni.

Consider continuing in school. Being in school is where you make contacts and begin building networks. The student you helped with a project last year is the person emailing tomorrow with word of a job opening.

Similarly with school co-op placements. Working for a few months in a placement isn't just job experience, it is an opportunity to meet people in the industry, get acquainted, exchange emails and phone numbers. Again, that person that was sitting beside you at XYZTech may be working at a different company next year, and they may need someone with your skillset. When their manager asks if they know someone, the only way you'll get mentioned is if you've been out in the world getting known.

The majority of jobs are not advertised, they are word of mouth. Companies often recruit based on internal recommendations. It's far cheaper than a recruiting firm, and far more reliable than an ad on kijiji.

I understand a bit better what you are doing working for peanuts right now, and it is one way to market yourself. Just make sure that you are also visible in the other streams.

Take a look at Linkdin and learn how to use it for job seeking. It is a powerful tool and probably overtaking any other recruiting process for many job categories. It is 100% about networking with other people in your field.
 
ahh yes the "overqualified" shit. i know about it. that is why if i go for a low end job i make sure to bring up that i would be actively seeking a promotion or if they feel my skills should be somewhere else then im ok with it.

not everytime i go for low end jobs, i know if i got a good shot at it ill shoot for that job.

Maybe it's the approach. Instead of saying you are looking for promotion - which indicates the job is beneath what you feel you are qualified for (but you have nothing to back this up).. They hear that within months they'll be looking for someone to fill the spot again .. Say I'm looking for a position that I can grow in. Growth is a positive word for most companies.

Again social skills are key.
 
um, this thread has gone from bad to worse. First the OP won't get a blood test to determine paternity, then we learn he has a medical condition that is left untreated, then he has altercations with grandfather of the child in question, then he won't get a job. All I hear is excuses and more excuses.

IMHO you should address your personal medical issue and then hopefully you can get a full-time job. How can you possibly look after a child when you are incapable of looking after your own issues? Just sayin...
 
because i already went to get my medical reexamined just last week, for a second opinion and they said that they have not come up with any different options for me for that time. It was not left untreated i do see doctors periodically.

they also suggested i take a test to determine if i have a parasite to which i already done and wait for results.

i have never seen any evidence to say that ANYONE else is not the father and she openly admitted it to it already in a sworn affidavit. I also did an amendment to the statement of live birth by way of declaration of parentage so therefor the birth certificate/statement of live birth is amended already and i am lawfully recognized the father. So until anyone else comes forth with proof that they are or i am not it stands as fact.

i still get jobs to when its available. i do the best i can with what i have. a link posting the computer jobs from kijiji most of them offered contracts but i lack a specific skill trait, such as proficiency in java for 5+ years, for which i do not even practice java. Or it can be for minuscule amounts such as 20$ or 50$ to which is not worth the effort for the amount of time that is required to be put in.

regarding the events surrounding the grand father and grand mother, you can only speculate as to what happened really. therefor you cannot take my words as fact but only rely to what is given to you.

i take care of myself to the best i can, i still get adequate vitamins and nutrients(blood test shown that i have in excess of most nutrients and that i was only lacking vitamin b12, and for everything else was shown to be in the norm.)

like i said getting a full time job in my area is difficult, but its not impossible. i do the best i can despite what your beliefs or opinions may be.

I am capable in watching after my child, i change, feed(on baby foods now), change, bathe, and put him down to sleep. I am able to meet his diaper needs and his nutritional needs, i am able to give him an abundance of love and affection for my own child.

I still have money saved up for support payments, but unfortunately the respondent is not accepting them without any reason. i have tried on several occasions to give it to them personally to either grand parents, but they continue to refuse it. They say its not in the order. It also doesnt say i cant pay child support.

currently i have 450$ saved up in my bank account for the months they refused my support.
 
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I dunno... you kinda sound like a hippie to me. There is nothing wrong with being a hippie and shunning society, however, when you are looking to raise a piglet then I have a problem with that. That thar piglet will grow into a nice young sow? some day. You will have to take it to dances and buy it clothes (made from polyester and other man-made fabrics). The future is full of fabricated products. Are you really ready to embrace this whole lifestyle? Good on you if you are.

The whole thread has become so ridiculous that I can't even remember what your original question were and I refuse to re-read the whole thing. You want to raise the child and get a restraining order against the inlaw bikers right? It's so very exhausting.
 
Ok I was going to bed but I thought of something:

When was your last dental recall exam? If not recent have them take a swab for candidiasis. You should have a full neck, head examination. Your dentist can administer this - should administer this. You said you had a full blood screen but did it test for systemic medications? If you are seeing a "quacopractor=naturopath" be wary of any medications, even over-the counter, that you may have been recommended. Have you had a cytology test? I think that as you have hypothyroidism it would be prudent. Have you looked in the mirror and/or noticed anything unusual in your mouth lately? Any spots or white blotches that weren't there before?

If you have any bumps in your mouth are they freely movable upon palpation? Do you experience any facial pain?

I'm not diagnosing you but possibly alerting you to some oral pathology that you might be ignoring or unaware of. This is not uncommon with people with hypothyroidism. Do you have a burning sensation in your mouth at any time?

If you answer yes to any of these things then go see your dentist or family physician immediately for treatment and/or referral to a specialist.
 
dummied down version: anything weird in you mouth? get it checked out. Scared of dentists? don't care - do what's right for this kid.

YOu and your child should go for regular check-up every 3 - 6 months. So get used to it.

Do you know what flossing is? If not i can provide info
 
Really, you would do well to consider Arabian's advice. Arabian is....down to earth, pragmatic, realistic, tough-minded, witty, very quick to discern. A darn smart, ballsy woman.
 
no i have nothing out of the ordinary and experienced no pain in my mouth. no unusual things in my mouth and i went for a check up 3 months ago.

yes i floss and yes i brush my teeth every day sometimes 2x if it calls for it.
 
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