Low cost seperation help

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As Bill M and blink continually attack me for my views that people outside of marriage should not be involved in divorce - I am coming to the conclusion that I have probably hit home with their respective situations.
 
arabian said:
Murphy's law - no need to defend me. BillM and Blink always try to take a cheap shot at me when the opportunity arises.

Yes indeed I do have an issue with new g/f's/b/f's getting involved with divorce process. It simply is not their business. When a new g/f hides assets and aids in fraudulent acts against you, you will understand.

Remarks from BillM et al are totally uncalled for and simply pathetic.
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I think the point you are missing is that you are painting all new partners with the same brush. That is where the issue is. You had issues with the new gf that your husband found. Your husband should have been the one to tell her to back off but he didnt. He is to blame.

For you information, I met my bf during the separation process and he never once interfered. He listen to me vent and bitch but not once told me that I should or should not do something. He was a source of support for me.
 
Hello everyone,
I'm in a similar situation as dsrtrat. My wife (of 15 years) has asked to separate as amicably as possible. We've tried counselling but in the end she just couldn't do the homework. She comes from a family of many divorces whereas I have little experience with divorce. We have two wonderful girls aged 12 and 14.

We have agreed to comprehensive co-mediation with a lawyer. The process calls for us to each get our own lawyer to review the final separation agreement before we sign off on. This may be an option for you dsrtrat. I was wondering if anyone has any experience with this process. I have my first meeting with the mediating lawyer next week. I hope I'm adding to and not hijacking dsrtrat's thread.

This forum has been an incredible resource and has kept me grounded in a very difficult time. I'm sure I will have questions in the near future. Thank you all.
 
Hello everyone,
I'm in a similar situation as dsrtrat. My wife (of 15 years) has asked to separate as amicably as possible. We've tried counselling but in the end she just couldn't do the homework. She comes from a family of many divorces whereas I have little experience with divorce. We have two wonderful girls aged 12 and 14.

We have agreed to comprehensive co-mediation with a lawyer. The process calls for us to each get our own lawyer to review the final separation agreement before we sign off on. This may be an option for you dsrtrat. I was wondering if anyone has any experience with this process. I have my first meeting with the mediating lawyer next week. I hope I'm adding to and not hijacking dsrtrat's thread.

This forum has been an incredible resource and has kept me grounded in a very difficult time. I'm sure I will have questions in the near future. Thank you all.
 
I think YOU ARE Missing the point. I could give a rats ass who someone dates, lives with, fucks or whatever AS LONG AS THEY STAY OUT OF THE DIVORCE. It is logical. And for your information my ex is now in the throws of bad times with the g/f. I have received apology emails over the past 2 weeks from the ex's g/f if you can believe it. Yes, he certainly was ultimately responsible to keep a lid on her but he didn't. I just hope someone else doesn't have to go through the crap that I've gone through for the past 3 years. Thus the reasons for my point - KEEP YOUR FUCKING G/F OR B/F OUT OF YOUR DIVORCE AND YOU WILL SAVE LOTS OF MONEY.

You get it now? I think it is wonderful that people get on with their life and find new people. Just show the maturity to keep them the fuck out of everything. Duh.
 
arabian said:
I think YOU ARE Missing the point. I could give a rats ass who someone dates, lives with, fucks or whatever AS LONG AS THEY STAY OUT OF THE DIVORCE. It is logical. And for your information my ex is now in the throws of bad times with the g/f. I have received apology emails over the past 2 weeks from the ex's g/f if you can believe it. Yes, he certainly was ultimately responsible to keep a lid on her but he didn't. I just hope someone else doesn't have to go through the crap that I've gone through for the past 3 years. Thus the reasons for my point - KEEP YOUR FUCKING G/F OR B/F OUT OF YOUR DIVORCE AND YOU WILL SAVE LOTS OF MONEY.

You get it now? I think it is wonderful that people get on with their life and find new people. Just show the maturity to keep them the fuck out of everything. Duh.
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totally uncalled for. You have posted time and time again that once a new partner is on the scene that they WILL interfer.
 
arabian said:
Murphy's law - no need to defend me. BillM and Blink always try to take a cheap shot at me when the opportunity arises.

Yes indeed I do have an issue with new g/f's/b/f's getting involved with divorce process. It simply is not their business. When a new g/f hides assets and aids in fraudulent acts against you, you will understand.

Remarks from BillM et al are totally uncalled for and simply pathetic.
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Funny, I didn't even bother to address your obvious stupidity in this thread. Interesting.

arabian said:
As Bill M and blink continually attack me for my views that people outside of marriage should not be involved in divorce - I am coming to the conclusion that I have probably hit home with their respective situations.
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Erm...nowhere even close. But nice projection. I have no issue with your opinion. I have an issue with the fact that you project your situation onto everyone else's, make sweeping statements about all new partners and basically vomit your trashiness all over every thread you enter.

arabian said:
I think YOU ARE Missing the point. I could give a rats ass who someone dates, lives with, fucks or whatever AS LONG AS THEY STAY OUT OF THE DIVORCE. It is logical. And for your information my ex is now in the throws of bad times with the g/f. I have received apology emails over the past 2 weeks from the ex's g/f if you can believe it. Yes, he certainly was ultimately responsible to keep a lid on her but he didn't. I just hope someone else doesn't have to go through the crap that I've gone through for the past 3 years. Thus the reasons for my point - KEEP YOUR FUCKING G/F OR B/F OUT OF YOUR DIVORCE AND YOU WILL SAVE LOTS OF MONEY.

You get it now? I think it is wonderful that people get on with their life and find new people. Just show the maturity to keep them the fuck out of everything. Duh.
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Case in point.
 
You guys are a broken record. You have no facts to back up your assertions against me. Actually you don't have anything to say on the forum lately unless you're trying to take swipes at me. People are on here for advice and opinions. I gave my opinion. You disagree - who cares? It's merely my opinion. The OP wants to know how to avoid expensive problems in the future. I stand by my opinion based on personal experience (more than either of you can say). My ex's girlfriend directly cost him tens of thousands of dollars in useless legal fees. He was stupid and I'd hate to see someone else make that same mistake. If you have a problem with me giving someone advice that could save them plenty of money in the future then you should examine your personal motives for being on this forum.
 
arabian said:
You guys are a broken record. You have no facts to back up your assertions against me. Actually you don't have anything to say on the forum lately unless you're trying to take swipes at me. People are on here for advice and opinions. I gave my opinion. You disagree - who cares? It's merely my opinion. The OP wants to know how to avoid expensive problems in the future. I stand by my opinion based on personal experience (more than either of you can say). My ex's girlfriend directly cost him tens of thousands of dollars in useless legal fees. He was stupid and I'd hate to see someone else make that same mistake. If you have a problem with me giving someone advice that could save them plenty of money in the future then you should examine your personal motives for being on this forum.
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This post, as with almost all of your posts in this thread, is nonsensical.

Usually you are more articulate, but you're really thrashing about spewing illogical thoughts as you go in this thread.

Your emotions are getting the best of you.
 
You are probably correct BillM. I shouldn't respond to posters who have nothing of value to contribute and who are so obviously trying to pick a fight.

You obviously are having a bad day. I am not your ex wife so kindly don't take your frustrations out on me. Go put your kids to bed, write a cheque to your ex, and then pray that she doesn't take you back to court for more money LOL.
 
arabian said:
You are probably correct BillM. I shouldn't respond to posters who have nothing of value to contribute and who are so obviously trying to pick a fight.

You obviously are having a bad day. I am not your ex wife so kindly don't take your frustrations out on me. Go put your kids to bed, write a cheque to your ex, and then pray that she doesn't take you back to court for more money LOL.
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Okay, nighty night
 
BillM's first post (1862 I believe) is helpful and informative to the OP. Blink as well included some good links (although I didn't look at them).

Arabian (imo) was quite well-wishing and threw in a cautionary note (not mentioned in anyone else's feedback) that was an opinion based on (I assume) her views and experience(s). There's nothing wrong with that.

BillM's next comment is dismissive of her comment and attempts to discredit her to the OP. I don't see how that is called for.

I love this forum and appreciate most people's views on things. But sometimes it reminds me of a schoolyard...

Unless someone says something reprehensible, (as Slug has been known to do for example, or Resourceful) - I don't see why there's a frenzy over what (to me) appears to be someone's thoughts/opinions.
 
arabian said:
You are probably correct BillM. I shouldn't respond to posters who have nothing of value to contribute and who are so obviously trying to pick a fight.

You obviously are having a bad day. I am not your ex wife so kindly don't take your frustrations out on me. Go put your kids to bed, write a cheque to your ex, and then pray that she doesn't take you back to court for more money LOL.
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What is clear to me, is you do not seem to be a nice person when you are told something you don't like.
 
*yawn*

So anyways....dsrtrat, you have lots of info and links provided in this thread. Please feel free to post any other questions you may have and we'll try not to have arabian make that thread all about her as well.

Good luck!
 
Wow the whole gang. I must be a force to be dealt with as the "whole gang" has to come at me.

You guys are a bunch of pussy's!!!!
 
So umm, back to the OP.. Hopefully he will look at all the great links and book suggestion(s) and best of luck to him/them in their separation. May it be fair and amicable. Wish they all could be.
 
hadenough said:
BillM's first post (1862 I believe) is helpful and informative to the OP. Blink as well included some good links (although I didn't look at them).

Arabian (imo) was quite well-wishing and threw in a cautionary note (not mentioned in anyone else's feedback) that was an opinion based on (I assume) her views and experience(s). There's nothing wrong with that.

BillM's next comment is dismissive of her comment and attempts to discredit her to the OP. I don't see how that is called for.

I love this forum and appreciate most people's views on things. But sometimes it reminds me of a schoolyard...

Unless someone says something reprehensible, (as Slug has been known to do for example, or Resourceful) - I don't see why there's a frenzy over what (to me) appears to be someone's thoughts/opinions.
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It is called for because that it what I would say to the poster if I knew them, to call out what I consider to be bad advice.

Everyone is responsible to determine what works for them and which advice to follow. This does not mean that it is unreasonable to comment on other peoples advice.

Arabian is often intentionally inflammatory and hostile in her comments, which are often similar the one she just posted to me regarding writing cheques. I find those posts to be irrelevant and unhelpful, however they are entertaining so I could not care less about them being posted.

My opinion is that Arabian is unreasonable regarding significant other's involvement in divorce and that can make her advice bad. I think there is a consensus among many members here that that is the case. My own view on it is that in general significant others should be involved. Divorce is the most awful thing that can happen to some people - of course their partner should be involved, and involved significantly.

She does have some good advice though and is a value to this forum. But because she can be so unreasonable about some issues, I am surprised when I do agree with her.

Pointing out that I think her advice is not good and why, is absolutely called for.
 
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I would be sure to "call you out" the next time you give poor advice Bill but I take a more mature attitude than you. You are entitled to your views as are others.
 
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