Headwaters1
New member
Hi I've never posted before but have been reading many posts...I've read lots of CanLii and lots of your posts here...its been an education.
I would like to tip my hat to a fellow member of the forum who coined the above phrase. He's a bit of a legend in my book...while he had a bigger uphill climb I believe I suffer the same major culprit. LOA is helping to fuel unnecessary litigation.
By way of introduction here is my situation:
- I have been previously married and have raised a boy jointly - now in teens 50/50 with my ex-wife ms#1. (no courts/no issues/very civil)
- Nobody involved has any criminal record of any kind
- Married Ms#2 5 years ago.
- My current wife asked for a divorce so we separated last year
- We have a child 4 years old
- We co habituated for three months (no issues)
- I asked (verbally) for my wife to get a lawyer - I retained one and passed on his contact info but she never sought council.
- wife moved out without a plan, no lawyer contact. While I was away on business - she just picked up and moved with the child to a city about 40m away by car
- turns out she went on full fledged social assistance based on a claim that I emotionally abused her with a verbal threat (which there is absolutely no evidence of and her story changes each time and she has mixed up the date it supposedly happened and the timing of the claim is most obviously suspicious). Fully subsidized housing, school, day care. She's worked every day of her life prior to this.
- in the following four weeks after moving out she shared access with me pretty much half/half. However the day it became apparent I was establishing 50/50 - she got very angry and told me I could not have him
- only one night a week and every other weekend
- she went inside called the police (they didn't want to get involved), I guess her lawyer didn't get back to her, so she called CAS.
- CAS shows up at my doorstep for an imminent threat assessment. Concerns that I abused the child (a bruise). Anyways it was obvious to the CAS worker in 5m there was no issue. CAS agent leaves saying: I have no problem with, I am more worried about the inconsistencies in the allegations being made. I have since recieved a full CAS report stating no concerns and it includes statements from indicating she called them out of frustration and she had no real safety concerns.
- Days after the CAS visit I am served with an ExParte Motion. Claim is emotional abuse (she dropped child abuse all of a sudden).
- my ex-wife (previous marriage) swears an affidavit saying in all the years she has known me...I've been never abusive to anyone, not in my character, great dad, we always work out every problem civilily. This is a women (ms#1) I have raised a teenage boy with 50/50.
- The exparte motion goes in my favour - judge awards 50/50 access. And that is how its been for a year. So there is an established status quo right now which is good. I know I am very lucky...many men facing exparte aren't so fortunate.
- So we've been in limbo every since. We had a case conference...their side didn't seem to budge - even in light of CAS report that said she had no reason to call and "mother has no conerns about safety of child in fathers care". Wife is still only willing to accept every other weekends and one night and wanted child support and spousal etc.
- so at the case conference I asked for sole with a fall back to shared 50/50.
- About a week after the case conference and a day after we asked for disclosure (a big list of info) - my wife went to the police to file a claim of abuse (verbal) with the police. This is after having been in front of a judge twice. The police ignored it but one positive out of that was that she stated the reason she didn't report it earlier was that she was afraid for her life...they asked why are you reporting it now...she says I no longer think he is a threat. (hmmm..doesn't that work in my favour regardless of whether the abuse was real or not?). If she isn't afraid of me? Why not share custody 50/50.
- OCL is now involved currently conducting an investigation.
We had a trial date set in June because the boy starts school in September. The OCL doesn't appear to be close to finishing. I don't think it is easy to get a court date over the summer. So now I am worried we are in for a total clash come September.
My other stress at this point remains - my wife is on Legal Aid - has no motivation to not go to trial. I am paying $400/hr and I'm in $20k. It costs her nothing...nothing to lose (except custody). I am supremely confident I win in court but I would really prefer not to go through all that expense.
Chances are the OCL report simply recommends joint. What stops her from just charging on with trial...fully funded?
I think Sole Custody works in childs best interests because I have extremely flexible work hours, can walk the him to school, get off work and pick him up...I run my own business so earn a decent income doing that...just extremely flexible - but that is of course if he's moved back to where I live/work. So if interm is sole custody residency with me. Then I'd like to ask the OCL to stay on the file and monitor her. Does that happen?
That kind of OCL recommendation is the only scenario where I imagine the mother might consider carefully not going to trial and making things worse.
I know its not the norm for an OCL worker recommend such a thing but that's why i shared what I think is the strength of my case...
What do you guys think?
Considering representing myself at this point...
Can something that is essentially meritless go to trial? Is there no "assessment"? At settlement conference doesn't a judge say "this is ridiculious"?
Can legal aid go on funding something that is very frivolous?
Is there any recourse with legal aid? Can i sue them for costs? Can I sue her lawyer for pushing something so frivolous through?
There seems to be a mechanism or a stop-gap in place around legal-aid funded cases...who is vetting them to ensure people aren't being railroaded with a frivolous case?
Are there any precedents where OCL would recommend sole to the father?
I would like to tip my hat to a fellow member of the forum who coined the above phrase. He's a bit of a legend in my book...while he had a bigger uphill climb I believe I suffer the same major culprit. LOA is helping to fuel unnecessary litigation.
By way of introduction here is my situation:
- I have been previously married and have raised a boy jointly - now in teens 50/50 with my ex-wife ms#1. (no courts/no issues/very civil)
- Nobody involved has any criminal record of any kind
- Married Ms#2 5 years ago.
- My current wife asked for a divorce so we separated last year
- We have a child 4 years old
- We co habituated for three months (no issues)
- I asked (verbally) for my wife to get a lawyer - I retained one and passed on his contact info but she never sought council.
- wife moved out without a plan, no lawyer contact. While I was away on business - she just picked up and moved with the child to a city about 40m away by car
- turns out she went on full fledged social assistance based on a claim that I emotionally abused her with a verbal threat (which there is absolutely no evidence of and her story changes each time and she has mixed up the date it supposedly happened and the timing of the claim is most obviously suspicious). Fully subsidized housing, school, day care. She's worked every day of her life prior to this.
- in the following four weeks after moving out she shared access with me pretty much half/half. However the day it became apparent I was establishing 50/50 - she got very angry and told me I could not have him
- only one night a week and every other weekend
- she went inside called the police (they didn't want to get involved), I guess her lawyer didn't get back to her, so she called CAS.
- CAS shows up at my doorstep for an imminent threat assessment. Concerns that I abused the child (a bruise). Anyways it was obvious to the CAS worker in 5m there was no issue. CAS agent leaves saying: I have no problem with, I am more worried about the inconsistencies in the allegations being made. I have since recieved a full CAS report stating no concerns and it includes statements from indicating she called them out of frustration and she had no real safety concerns.
- Days after the CAS visit I am served with an ExParte Motion. Claim is emotional abuse (she dropped child abuse all of a sudden).
- my ex-wife (previous marriage) swears an affidavit saying in all the years she has known me...I've been never abusive to anyone, not in my character, great dad, we always work out every problem civilily. This is a women (ms#1) I have raised a teenage boy with 50/50.
- The exparte motion goes in my favour - judge awards 50/50 access. And that is how its been for a year. So there is an established status quo right now which is good. I know I am very lucky...many men facing exparte aren't so fortunate.
- So we've been in limbo every since. We had a case conference...their side didn't seem to budge - even in light of CAS report that said she had no reason to call and "mother has no conerns about safety of child in fathers care". Wife is still only willing to accept every other weekends and one night and wanted child support and spousal etc.
- so at the case conference I asked for sole with a fall back to shared 50/50.
- About a week after the case conference and a day after we asked for disclosure (a big list of info) - my wife went to the police to file a claim of abuse (verbal) with the police. This is after having been in front of a judge twice. The police ignored it but one positive out of that was that she stated the reason she didn't report it earlier was that she was afraid for her life...they asked why are you reporting it now...she says I no longer think he is a threat. (hmmm..doesn't that work in my favour regardless of whether the abuse was real or not?). If she isn't afraid of me? Why not share custody 50/50.
- OCL is now involved currently conducting an investigation.
We had a trial date set in June because the boy starts school in September. The OCL doesn't appear to be close to finishing. I don't think it is easy to get a court date over the summer. So now I am worried we are in for a total clash come September.
My other stress at this point remains - my wife is on Legal Aid - has no motivation to not go to trial. I am paying $400/hr and I'm in $20k. It costs her nothing...nothing to lose (except custody). I am supremely confident I win in court but I would really prefer not to go through all that expense.
Chances are the OCL report simply recommends joint. What stops her from just charging on with trial...fully funded?
I think Sole Custody works in childs best interests because I have extremely flexible work hours, can walk the him to school, get off work and pick him up...I run my own business so earn a decent income doing that...just extremely flexible - but that is of course if he's moved back to where I live/work. So if interm is sole custody residency with me. Then I'd like to ask the OCL to stay on the file and monitor her. Does that happen?
That kind of OCL recommendation is the only scenario where I imagine the mother might consider carefully not going to trial and making things worse.
I know its not the norm for an OCL worker recommend such a thing but that's why i shared what I think is the strength of my case...
What do you guys think?
Considering representing myself at this point...
Can something that is essentially meritless go to trial? Is there no "assessment"? At settlement conference doesn't a judge say "this is ridiculious"?
Can legal aid go on funding something that is very frivolous?
Is there any recourse with legal aid? Can i sue them for costs? Can I sue her lawyer for pushing something so frivolous through?
There seems to be a mechanism or a stop-gap in place around legal-aid funded cases...who is vetting them to ensure people aren't being railroaded with a frivolous case?
Are there any precedents where OCL would recommend sole to the father?
