Just venting

Status
Not open for further replies.
iceberg

iceberg

New member
After the hospital staff have made my ex and i communicate over childs health issues only, my ex started bombarding me with sms but still child related. The hospital SW and main nurse are trying to make an agreement for our communication rules.

So after her chemo, i took our little girl to her mom today. Just as soon as I left a text message came:

Why u never wear her the cloth i bought her, and shouse etc

Me: What is the difference if she wears wut u or i bought as long as she is properly dressed

Then she said all the good clothes she buys i keep (honestly it is the opposite)

She said:I usually return her how she come and also i dress her always nice when she come to u but and it disapears??

Is this sms even contradicting?

Ill tell hosp. Staff email only and health related communication or i will file a motion to have the court put the comm. Rules.

she harrases me again
 
Last edited:
Really hard to read what you are trying to get at, but to make things easy, dress your child in what she came in when it is time to go back to mom's...

I can understand how mom would feel if every time she sent clothes she never got them back. She could feel you think the clothes she provides are not good enough. Simple solution... Return the clothes.
 
You do know it isn't the hospital's job to get involved and i think its ridiculous thst you'd go to them about this. Why wouldn't YOU just set the standards for communication by text by ONLY replying to the important texts and ignote the rest??
 
Honestly - don't involve the hospital staff. And kudo's to them for trying to help the 2 of you get through all of your nonsense.

Ignore the stupid sms messages, only reply to what is important. Since it bothers the ex that much, just send the original clothes/shoes that were sent back in a bag with your dd. Sometimes, the burden is on you to make things work a little more smoothly.

eta: and no, the sms are not contradicting - you have a girl. I've seen some of the stuff my ex had her wear, and I would shudder! Yes, it's clean and it's practical but stripes with dots? Or orange with pink? lol... taste is a personal thing.
 
Last edited:
Blink you are right in your last sentence. Ur right about hospital too but they want us to communicate about childs health only, thats y they got spcial workers there and psychologists.

Mcdreamy i will return all her clothes but if u read my post carefully she accuses me of something i should accuse her of

Berner-read the post again
 
just do the easy thing like the other posters said and return the child in the same clothes. That is what a friend of mine did when the mother complained about the clothes. As soon as he got to her house, off with the clothes he was wearing and into the clothes they had for them. On the day he was going back to moms, same clothes went back on.

Why make if more difficult then it has to be??? I also think getting the hospital involved with this whole communication thing is childish. I am sure that they have more important things to do like look after patients, not pay referee between adults acting like kids.
 
Iceberg, I get that you are getting the short end of the stick. I'm appalled by how the ex is handling the parental time in conjunction with your daughter's illness.

But really, you have bigger issues on your plate than arguing about whom has what clothes.. just send them back. Don't make this an issue, even if the ex wants to.
 
Imagine how the child must feel...upset and ill as she is and having to be distressed by her parents' squabbling about "whose" clothes she wears!

Get a grip and look at the real picture. Your daughter may not likely heal well with all this pointless aggravation between you two.
 
Then she said all the good clothes she buys i keep (honestly it is the opposite

She only has some shoes and a few pieces of clothes. She keeps the clothes I buy and lets her niece use it :)

Social workers in the hospital are there for many reasons including helping parents in HC
 
caranna said:
Imagine how the child must feel...upset and ill as she is and having to be distressed by her parents' squabbling about "whose" clothes she wears!

Get a grip and look at the real picture. Your daughter may not likely heal well with all this pointless aggravation between you two.
Click to expand...

Who told u the kid knows what we type to each other?
 
iceberg said:
Me: What is the difference if she wears wut u or i bought as long as she is properly dressed
Click to expand...

Right there - can you guess whether this would lead to escalation or resolution?

The benefit of email/sms is that you can take some time to think before responding. Instead of flashing back some kneejerk response that will only encourage an escalation.

Next time, think before responding.
 
iceberg said:
Who told u the kid knows what we type to each other?
Click to expand...
I just asked our kiddo, 17, turning 18. She confirms each and every time there was hostility between the households, she was very aware. Your kid knows, she doesn't need telling.
 
dinkyface said:
Right there - can you guess whether this would lead to escalation or resolution?

The benefit of email/sms is that you can take some time to think before responding. Instead of flashing back some kneejerk response that will only encourage an escalation.

Next time, think before responding.
Click to expand...

And what is the difference? Does it matter if a kid wears jeans that mom bought and shirt I bought? I never paid attention to it. I have seen her niece wearing stuff I bought for our kid and I didnt care, I assumed (pretty sure) our kid wears clothes from her niece.

But now I will return all she bought
 
Berner_Faith said:
I think you are the one that needs to re-read your post. You are just as much, if not more to blame for all this crap
Click to expand...

How am I to blame when it is her who 'loses' clothes that I buy yet blames me for it? Thats the whole point. And I never complained about the clothes I buy and she keeps.
 
Buddy, you're missing the point:

It isn't about the clothes, who bought them or who has them. It IS about the conflict you are engaging in and allowing her to engage you in over ridiculous inconsequential things.

Your kid has CANCER and you two are arguing about what clothes she's wearing.

Can you see how ridiculous this is? Why do you need to have someone to blame over the damn clothes?

Simply respond to ONLY the texts that require a response re: your child's medical care or any other important matters.

STOP responding to any texts that are clearly intended to create conflict. Like who paid for the clothes the kid is wearing today.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top