Is daycare an expense over and above regular expenses?

[inseperationhell]

I am currently without a seperation agreement but my ex has been contributing money bi-weekly to our joint account to help support our 3 kids. As I am still paying 100% of all expenses, this money (amount set by him at 500 every 2 weeks - which he has not always been giving the full amount), was to help cover these expenses. Not enough $$ considering I am still paying his bills (i.e. cell phone, car loan, insurance, gas etc) which comes out of that monthly. Once I deduct his personal expenses which I wind up paying for, he is contributing less that 400/month for 3 kids and he makes over 40k.

I have now had to put the kids into before school care which he agreed in writing that he would contribute to the cost. Well, the first payment has been made, second due next week. I have emailed him asking that he contribute to 1/3 of the cost and transfer the $$ to me (as he made about 1/2 of what I made last year). Complete silence and have not seen a penny yet. My question - is child care considered an extraordinary expense, thus should he contribute over and above any other $$? Secondly, when the seperation agreement is drawn up and all is settled, can I get retroactive payments for what he should have contributed?

 

[Rioe]

One of the first rules of separation is to unlink your finances! Stop putting any money of your own in that joint account, start transferring any money he gives you into your own account and pay the bills from there. Turn off any automatic bill payments. Don't give him any opportunity to get that money back from you unexpectedly. Also, stop paying his bills! That's up to him now.

The best way to get retroactive payments is not to incur them in the first place. His $1k a month is probably more than his CS obligation would be so take this opportunity to maximize your use of it by minimizing the paying of his own expenses from that.

 

[inseperationhell]

Ok. I hear you Rioe. Been trying to seperate finances - he has been uncoorperative. Car insurance and Life insurance are joint policies for both of us with 1 payment coming out. To change that - need his signiature which he has refused for almost 6 months - I don't pay, my insurance is affected. His cell phone is couple with the internet I need for work - same issue - he refuses to sign to uncouple. I have thought about taking the 1k per month and transferring out of the joint but he states that he needs that $$ to feed and care for the kids when he has them....

I am trying to be civil, co-operative. Not going both ways. Do I take his share of the daycare expenses out of the joint account? that would leave him with less than 50 in the joint account for the next 3 days with the kids....

 

[NBDad]

Get a different internet provider. Close the old account if you must.

Ditto the insurance. Call the broker and either have them close the current policy and open you a new one, or have a backup provider ready to go and simply get a new policy somewhere else.

The insurance policy itself should be closed, but think of it this way, if he gets into an accident, YOUR policy is also affected.

Separated them asap. Close/freeze that joint account. If there is a balance owing on it, the bank won't close it, but they CAN freeze it so no monies can be removed, and only by having BOTH parties on the account go in and sign can it be unfrozen.

Daycare (if required for you to work) is a special expense over and above CS. How much do YOU make? You stated he makes 40K or so a year, do you make more or less than that?

Who is currently collecting the CCTB? You or him?