Is claiming domestic violence in a divorce 'worth' it?

[Tayken]

Stephen Watkins ex was an abuser.She had access to her children as she seemed to be a caring and loving parent.....She was under scrutiny from CAS I believe.She abducted her children just as Stephen had told the judges she would.Would you call Stephen Watkins fearful?He had every right to be.When dealing with ex partners with multiple nationalities ,it pays to be fearful.Not every judge sees this.Stephens ex had her children taken away in Poland as she was abusing them again,this time there was no partner to blame for her behaviour.

In order for our children to leave Canada to visit anywhere,both parents have to agree to it.Would you think that this order was fearful on the behalf of the judge?Or simply good logic?My children have never been denied access to their father.He on the other hand has flip flopped and lied time and time again on affidavits and spewed false accusations.The judge noted this and treated his behaviour as it should be treated.In the same way Working Dads ex has been treated.It also should be noted that the children in Zimbabwe had previously travelled to Zimbabwe and were safely returned.This wasn't a one off situation ,this is where people who had historically complied with orders now chose to disregard them.

Actually, Stephen, is a sheep which was eaten by a wolf because too many sheep cried wolf inappropriately. The good news is that through his efforts and awareness he brings to the area of false allegations of "domestic violence" through his efforts has protected one child that I am aware of from being improperly removed from Canada.

You would be the only one.

Reality check for you "murphyslaw"... Does my victim impact statement written for Mr. Watkins matter suggest anything you are trying to imply against me?

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...dren-news-update-12862/index5.html#post112404

You can peddle your wares elsewhere and I kindly ask that you not make libel statements about me and my mental health which is fine.

Im rather confused on your reaction when I suggested you get counselling to deal with your issues with DV.

I don't have issues with "domestic violence".

I am more confused with your use of punctuation, grammar and spelling.

You previously thought everyone should have counselling in dealing with the issues in breakups and family law. Does this now mean everyone except you?You have no issues outstanding?Congratulations on being perfect

You seem to think that I am some how involved in a family law matter before the courts. Unfortunate of you to think that. I am involved in a matter before the court but it has nothing to do with me in particular. But, that is a matter best addressed by those who actually "work" to be a "parent".

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[Tayken]

I know it is a personal issue for you and I do know how it feels to think you need to "defend" yourself against another poster here. Know that I say with the gentlest intentions that it is okay to step away.

Yet you continue to engage...

 

[madm82]

First off Tayken, I have said it before. CAS has proof because they WITNESSED it at access before.
Secondly, and I said it before, how can I say one good thing about a man who took a knife to his own child..... or are you supportive of that? That's not even the half of it.
I will not fall prey to you anymore on this subject.

 

[Tayken]

First off Tayken, I have said it before. CAS has proof because they WITNESSED it at access before.

Easy to allege on a public forum that there are piles of "witnesses" to what you are claiming. If what you are claiming is truthful then the CAS would have had to act under the Family Services Act and bring forward the matter and would be a party to the case generally and NOT a "WITNESS". Just saying...

Secondly, and I said it before, how can I say one good thing about a man who took a knife to his own child.....

Is this what CAS "witnessed" at the access visit? Or is this something you are alleging happened?

I will not fall prey to you anymore on this subject.

Fall "prey"? Odd choice of words.

http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/10/1...roups-claim-the-use-of-logic-by-men-is-abuse/

I suppose asking (or begging) someone who muddles her way through life using intractable and convoluted emotional reasoning to focus on the facts may feel like torture to the emotional reasoner, but I disagree. It’s is far more abusive to gaslight and browbeat your partner into submitting to one’s distorted unreality and non-stop feeling states that often have very little to do with reality. Respectfully asking an emotional reasoner to develop and use critical thinking skills is a noble, if not futile, enterprise. It certainly isn’t abusive.

Although, I can see how a man, at the end of his rope after years of emotional abuse who snaps and shouts, “Use your brain, not your feelings, you stupid fool!” might be considered “abuse,” at least upon superficial observation. However, after years of being gaslighted and and having reality twisted and turned around on you, it’s actually a pretty understandable response to being abused.

“Not fair! He’s smarter than me! He makes meeeeeeee feeeeeeeeeeel stupid and irrational when he gets all logical! You think you’re so smart, don’t you?! Quit trying to impose the facts on me! Abuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse!”

Not true. This type of woman usually doesn’t require assistance from anyone to appear ignorant and irrational. While an argument between an emotional reasoner and someone capable of logic and reason may not be a fair fight, it’s certainly not abuse.

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[murphyslaw]

.



I don't have issues with "domestic violence".

I am more confused with your use of punctuation, grammar and spelling.



You seem to think that I am some how involved in a family law matter before the courts. Unfortunate of you to think that. I am involved in a matter before the court but it has nothing to do with me in particular. But, that is a matter best addressed by those who actually "work" to be a "parent".

Good Luck!
Tayken[/QUOTE]


Ok,now you are berating my grammar, and still confused as to why I suggested that you speak to someone about the effects of domestic violence on its victims.Never said you were a victim or a perpetrator, but rather someone who chooses not to educate himself on it.Interesting how you read that into it.

That comment on my grammar and spelling really hurt.Really.Your immature comment on my parenting was hilarious though My kids are great ,my parenting skills are spot on and endorsed by CAS but your cheap shot brought tears to my eyes in laughter.I got to you and this was all you were left with??I expected better.Feel free to answer with a lengthy monologue,Ive got tobogganing to do so my answer will have to wait but I will come back to see if you have improved on your insults.

 

[Tayken]

Ok, now you are berating my grammar, and still confused as to why I suggested that you speak to someone about the effects of domestic violence on its victims.

The observations of your grammar and use of punctuation is not a "berating" of you. It is a critical observation of the fact that you use it improperly. Also, the lack of spacing in your responses between punctuation makes it very hard to read.

Also, you make a wild assumption that I don't work with true victims of domestic violence and lack any knowledge in the subject matter. I guess the articles I post and responses I provide are just random thoughts that are not based on any reading, research and actual involvement in the community. Jumping to conclusions...

Never said you were a victim or a perpetrator, but rather someone who chooses not to educate himself on it.Interesting how you read that into it.

In fact, I am quite educated in the matter. That is the problem with this debate. There are people arguing from the standpoint of "emotional reasoning" and not an educated background. Because you "feel" you were abused doesn't make you an expert on a subject. I challenge you to read just one of the papers posted to this thread... All of which I have read. Currently, for your information, I have read more papers and books and interviewed more people who work with true victims of violence than you probably ever will. You can discount me if you would like but, what you are stating is false and unfounded.

That comment on my grammar and spelling really hurt. Really.

See the above article linked from a Clinical Psychologist who focuses primarily in *her* practice on false allegations of domestic violence for my response to this emotional reasoning.

Your immature comment on my parenting was hilarious though

Which was? I didn't comment on your parenting. I suggest you read what was written SLOWER and out loud to assist you. I mentioned a "working" "parent". It is a clever reference to a poster on this board... Not you that is for sure.

My kids are great,my parenting skills are spot on and endorsed by CAS but your cheap shot brought tears to my eyes in laughter.

That cheap shot you are alledging is a reference to another poster on this message board who is a "WorkingParent"... Here is a link to help you as you like many highly conflicted people always think everything about them... When in reality it is not.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f7/i-am-still-alive-13934/

I got to you and this was all you were left with??I expected better.Feel free to answer with a lengthy monologue, I have got tobogganing to do so my answer will have to wait but I will come back to see if you have improved on your insults.

I wasn't insulting you. I was refering to a "REAL" situation before the courts ... It had NOTHING to do with you as I was referencing a "working" "parent" who's matters are before the court.

Not everything posted to this board is about you... Just to let you know.

Have fun tobogganing.

Here is a blast from the past that I always find interesting from you murphyslaw:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/...proxy-first-case-law-canada-12959/#post105963

Still confused as to how you could relate Factitious Disorder by Proxy with allegations of abuse... As you didn't respond to my response... It is puzzling to say the least. But, a lot of people do come to this site in an effort to "allegations shop" to "build a case" against the other parent. Not saying you were doing that...

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[madm82]

Easy to allege on a public forum that there are piles of "witnesses" to what you are claiming. If what you are claiming is truthful then the CAS would have had to act under the Family Services Act and bring forward the matter and would be a party to the case generally and NOT a "WITNESS". Just saying...



Is this what CAS "witnessed" at the access visit? Or is this something you are alleging happened?



Fall "prey"? Odd choice of words.

An Immodest Proposal: Domestic Violence Groups Claim the Use of Logic by Men is Abuse | Shrink4Men



Good Luck!
Tayken

You have way too much time on your hands. Way too much.

Read the definition of psychotic- your name will appear next to it.

I will not copy and paste it over as I am quite sure you'll take care of that fine little detail

Anyone can link 'evidence' from 'professionals' on this thread to support their point of view.

I won't waste my time on it with you as it falls on deaf ears.

Your poor ex.........

 

[Tayken]

You have way too much time on your hands. Way too much.

Read the definition of psychotic- your name will appear next to it.

I will not copy and paste it over as I am quite sure you'll take care of that fine little detail

Anyone can link 'evidence' from 'professionals' on this thread to support their point of view.

I won't waste my time on it with you as it falls on deaf ears.

Your poor ex.........

I suppose asking (or begging) someone who muddles her way through life using intractable and convoluted emotional reasoning to focus on the facts may feel like torture to the emotional reasoner, but I disagree. It’s is far more abusive to gaslight and browbeat your partner into submitting to one’s distorted unreality and non-stop feeling states that often have very little to do with reality. Respectfully asking an emotional reasoner to develop and use critical thinking skills is a noble, if not futile, enterprise. It certainly isn’t abusive. - Tara Palmatier, C.Psych

 

[madm82]

Seriously Tayken, you're psychotic. Please copy over the definition so everyone can see your name pasted beside it. Better yet, counter argue it, maybe somebody will listen.
Maybe we should go out for hot chocolate sometime (I don't drink coffee) so you can have a real person to talk to. In the words of someone else, then maybe you won't have to feel the need to be a "keyboard warrior".

 

[baldclub]

Anyone can link 'evidence' from 'professionals' on this thread to support their point of view.

I won't waste my time on it with you as it falls on deaf ears.

Your poor ex.........

Then do it. Don't knock someone for using expert opinion to support their arguments. Disagree with their evidence all you want, just have the appropriate facts to do so.

Do you really need to comment on his 'ex'? Really? Seems like he could definitely turn around and do the same about yours. You think you're any better? While I think my ex is a lunatic, I still have some fond memories and don't care to trash her constantly. I know I had my faults, we all do. You know the expression about throwing bricks in a glass house, right?

Let's raise the level of the conversation here.

 

[SadAndTired]

Seriously Tayken, you're psychotic. Please copy over the definition so everyone can see your name pasted beside it. Better yet, counter argue it, maybe somebody will listen.
Maybe we should go out for hot chocolate sometime (I don't drink coffee) so you can have a real person to talk to. In the words of someone else, then maybe you won't have to feel the need to be a "keyboard warrior".

madm, here you go. Here is what you are looking for.

The psychologist that Tayken is quoting is well known for her advocacy for men. It has created a very lucrative corner market for her.

It has also, however, created a situation where she was required to pay 20,000 pounds ($32,000 Canadian) in costs to a defendent. The court has dismissed some of her claims. There is really no point in arguing.

The Insanity of Dr T

Hope that helps. I am done now.

 

[baldclub]

Seriously Tayken, you're psychotic. Please copy over the definition so everyone can see your name pasted beside it. Better yet, counter argue it, maybe somebody will listen.
Maybe we should go out for hot chocolate sometime (I don't drink coffee) so you can have a real person to talk to. In the words of someone else, then maybe you won't have to feel the need to be a "keyboard warrior".

Here's the damn definition:

Psychosis
Last reviewed: March 7, 2012.

Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality that usually includes:

False beliefs about what is taking place or who one is (delusions)

Seeing or hearing things that aren't there (hallucinations)

Psychosis - PubMed Health

His beliefs may be different than yours but I understand his arguments to be based on some research that he has cited. He doesn't seem to qualify as 'psychotic' in the least.

Another poor example of mudslinging we're seeing in this thread.

 

[hadenough]

Baldclub: ^ think my ex suffers from that

 

[Tayken]

madm, here you go. Here is what you are looking for.

The psychologist that Tayken is quoting is well known for her advocacy for men. It has created a very lucrative corner market for her.

It has also, however, created a situation where she was required to pay 20,000 pounds ($32,000 Canadian) in costs to a defendent. The court has dismissed some of her claims. There is really no point in arguing.

The Insanity of Dr T

Hope that helps. I am done now.

Actually, if you actually follow that case, as I do, you would know what that website is about and that the document posted is not authentic. In fact, the lawsuit is a defamation of character lawsuit in the Queens Court in the UK.

Also, the website in question is in violation of the order of the court for the person in question to stop. It is part of a distortion campaign by someone known as the Mental Nurse who is someone alleging to be a clinician with an Axis II disorder who works in the field of mental health in the NHS.

BPD distortion campaigns target professionals all the time. The quality of the website, pictures posted, and statements made should be a tell-tail-sign for those learned enough to understand what a distortion campaign is. That link provided is just that... A distortion campaign.

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[madm82]

madm, here you go. Here is what you are looking for.

The psychologist that Tayken is quoting is well known for her advocacy for men. It has created a very lucrative corner market for her.

It has also, however, created a situation where she was required to pay 20,000 pounds ($32,000 Canadian) in costs to a defendent. The court has dismissed some of her claims. There is really no point in arguing.

The Insanity of Dr T

Hope that helps. I am done now.

Thank you. And wow! What a website I was not expecting that picture on the right hand side LOL

Like I said, anyone can find a 'professionally' biased report on this subject. Anyone. Yes, Tayken, I am talking to you

 

[murphyslaw]

Not that I have a lot of time on my hands to answer your every query-will get back to you this evening on that when I get time.Great to hear that you are helping someone who is a working parent.Great person ,great child .I previous alluded that I am in fact not that clever,while your allusions were too much sn that persons particular problems I have advised that political intervention, in regards to preventing travel papers being acquired by the other parent. Politicians are used to various degrees of horse trading.An agreement signed an Ambassador of the OPs country ,in agreement that no papers would be processed without both parents signature would be useful.There are many good MP in the parents general area.There is one of great integrity in the west whom I have heard nothing but good things of.

Good to hear that you volunteer.You previously have offered that your knowledge was purely academic.While you get aggravated that I presume you have lack of knowledge in a particular field you are happy to presume that I too lack knowledge or insight or for that know people who work on the front line.Presumption on either of our parts is arrogant.

 

[baldclub]

Thank you. And wow! What a website

Exactly. What a ridiculous website, I thought it had something to do with Halloween... SadAndTired, come on!

 

[Tayken]

Exactly. What a ridiculous website, I thought it had something to do with Halloween... SadAndTired, come on!

Ya, that website just screams of "trustworthiness".

Next thing we are going to hear is that the Landover Baptist Church is a real church and not satirical and is real.

Landover Baptist | Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome

 

[madm82]

Here's the damn definition:

Psychosis
Last reviewed: March 7, 2012.

Psychosis is a loss of contact with reality that usually includes:

False beliefs about what is taking place or who one is (delusions)

Seeing or hearing things that aren't there (hallucinations)

Psychosis - PubMed Health

His beliefs may be different than yours but I understand his arguments to be based on some research that he has cited. He doesn't seem to qualify as 'psychotic' in the least.

Another poor example of mudslinging we're seeing in this thread.

Please read the 'symptoms' section of your website quoted. Tayken's name is there!

His research is biased.

Yes, I admit to my mudslinging. Now can Tayken? I'll answer that- NO!

 

[SadAndTired]

LOL Bald.....

The website is ridiculous. That was my point. This entire thing is ridiculous.

The doctor was held for costs and order to pay for her frivolous lawsuit but I certainly could easily find something that made fun of it to post.

I was trying to make a point that arguing about things isn't helpful. Piles and piles of internet links do not make someone correct. I intentionally used the website to prove that not everything quoted or researched from google is useful.

In my opinion, arguing back and forth like what has occurred on this thread is ridiculous. The bottom line is who cares? Is madm telling the truth? Hopefully. Is Tayken contradicting himself? Possibly. Does s/he tell others to seek counselling and then cry libel when it is applied in the same manner to him/herself? I don't know. Shall we argue about grammar, spelling and punctuation? Why?? For pete's sake, why?

We all need help. If we are abusers, drug addicts, criminals, "average", whatever. We are all struggling through the dynamics of a separation/divorce. Our society (and as a lesser extention this board) is only as strong as its weakest member. I don't understand the need of anyone to rip apart, tear down or criticize another poster. Who cares if they don't see your point? Why is it necessary to continually point out their shortcomings? If less than 5% of us will make it to court, we need to focus on how negotiation and using lawyers appropriately will help our cases.