Impending Separation

P

popcorn

New member
We live in the prairies, a family of 4 and on the verge of legal separation. Rather than post a bunch of questions etc, I am hoping that someone who has some knowledge and time could PM me for a little guidance and support. It is complicated so before I make the first move I would like to gather as much information and be well prepared. I'd prefer to get as much information as possible before getting a lawyer etc.

I am the husband and we have 2 kids. We were married in a foreign country but have been in Canada for several years. Both kids were born abroad.

I have a lot of questions about various matters including my rights snd financial issues. If any of you can assist because you have been through it and / or know a lot about separations/divorces in Canada please PM me. I will answer any of your questions and hopefully get some needed help and peace of mind. Thank you.
 
while I get that you're seeking specialized advice, the strength of this forum is the collective knowledge of its members. PMing individuals sidesteps that valuable resource. If you're looking for confidential or specific advice, then you're better off consulting a lawyer directly.
 
newerwavers, you make a great point. I am just a little confused right now and was hoping someone could help me by giving me some direction. Perhaps I should ask a few questions given my situation. Ultimately I will need to consult with a lawyer. I guess before I see a lawyer, maybe I could get some help here.

-My understanding is that the separation date is the date used to determine when separation of finances is to take place. A friend who has been though this in another province told me that. Is it common for there to be any investigation into a spouses financial activitiy prior to the separation date?

-We are currently living together in a rental home with our daughter; my fear is that my spouse will refuse to leave the home. If the lease agreement is in my name only, will that be a factor in the decision as to who can stay and who must go?

-After separation, if my spouse chooses to return to her home country either permanently or for lengthy periods of time, will I be responsible for her financial well being while she is abroad?

I hope that I can get some clarity on my questions. If you have any for me, feel free. Thanks.
 
popcorn said:
-My understanding is that the separation date is the date used to determine when separation of finances is to take place. A friend who has been though this in another province told me that. Is it common for there to be any investigation into a spouses financial activitiy prior to the separation date?

-We are currently living together in a rental home with our daughter; my fear is that my spouse will refuse to leave the home. If the lease agreement is in my name only, will that be a factor in the decision as to who can stay and who must go?

-After separation, if my spouse chooses to return to her home country either permanently or for lengthy periods of time, will I be responsible for her financial well being while she is abroad?

I hope that I can get some clarity on my questions. If you have any for me, feel free. Thanks.
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I wouldn’t disclose finances before agreeing on
separation date, as by doing so I’d let my ex choose the most ´convenient’ to her separation date and then lawyers would start fighting over it, costing you money.

yes, she can ask for disclosure before separation date, up to 3 years - if for example you took $1,000,000 to put to your secret account they will find it and claim their share.

As for child support. I’d be more concerned about ex taking child out of country, than money. Don’t you feel you want to see your kids regularly and raise them, even if you unfortunately divorcing? I think that is more important than child support money.
 
Equalization goes by your date of marriage and date of separation (valuation date). There's no privacy in divorce. Disclosure can be requested from today's date to date of marriage if needed. Way more than 3 years.

Both parties can stay in the matrimonial home - even in your rental, until you reach a settlement, court order, or lease runs out.

If "home" is not part of the hague convention, I would raise concerns unless I were sure; kids were older. In regards to spousal support, it would depend on entitlement and ending clauses, but extended vacations would not affect the support owed.
 
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One child is off to university. The other is a teenager who had lived with me for the past 2 years in a different province from her snd our other child. (We were not 'separated' other than by distance. She is in a special school here now and will not be taken out of the country. She wouldn't want to leave and my job is basically tied to her education. The question is what will her mom do once confronted with a separation agreement? Will she want to stay in the home and / or town or will she go elsewhere? She is headed abroad in a couple of weeks for 2 months to see family. Will that benefit me in anyway?

Aside from recent issues that have pushed this marriage to the brink, there are other matters as well. I remember well times when we would be having dinner at the kitchen table as a family and she would say "I am going to live in @#$%^^ in the future." By that she was referring to her home country. By making statements like that, it definitely put her feelings towards the marriage in a perspective that made me feel it wasn't a priority for her. This has been going on for years, and hence, i should have pullled the plug a long time ago. That is my fault but she would typically change her mind every few months anyway. A very frustrating way to live when your spouse doesn't value your marriage that much and was always putting her personal interests ahead. Yes, we ended up settling in my home country. But we had to choose a country and it was the more logical choice. And she agreed on it before marriage. To keep insisting that she was going to go and live wherever she wants was extremely frustrating from my standpoint. I mean to her, where she would live seemed far more important than our marriage and our family. Well now, she can choose to live wherever she so wants. I just hope it won't be too close to where we are now!

If she goes back abroad to live, will I be responsible for paying alimony etc? The kids will not go there to live with her. They are not interested and don't speak the language.
 
Moving countries usually doesn't change the fundamentals of spousal support; the obligations typically remain. However, enforcing spousal support could become more challenging for her if she moves abroad. Given that your kids are staying with you, my opinion is to let her move. The distance could make your life more straightforward and less stressful, especially since it sounds like her absence won't be a loss for you or the kids. It could also make enforcing spousal support more complex on her end.
 
If you made a decision to separate, file it asap (talk to lawyer of course). If she ever asks for spousal, you will gently remind her to pay child support - check the basic numbers here yourself: https://www.mysupportcalculator.ca
And if she agrees, child support isn’t taxable nor deductible, spousal support is. Depending on your/her income you may even win on taxes, but I smell after talking to lawyer she will suddenly want children living with her (due to child support)
 
Of course I will let her move if that's what she wants. That said, with one child just starting university and the other in high school, I highly doubt she'd move at this point in time - if at all. I hope I am wrong and she chooses to leave. That would be the best scenario.
 
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