I signed off on his pension...can this be changed?

Status
Not open for further replies.
F

flamemcain

New member
Hi everyone,

I'm new here and could use some advice/ideas.

10 yrs ago my ex & I went to a paralegal for an uncontested divorce.
My mother had just passed away and I wasn't thinking clearly, my ex rushed me into the paralegals office...anyway, we split everything 50/50 after 19 yrs of marriage. He kept making me feel bad with remarks about "taking" his pension...so I told him to keep it, I just wanted the divorce over with. We had 3 children together, split custody, no child support paid.

NOW, I am 56 and realize what a mistake I made. I don't even know what his pension was worth and mine is very small.

Do I have any recourse in this? Can I dispute the agreement now, after all this time?

I am going to the courthouse to get a copy of the agreement and the actual divorce decree.

Any thoughts, ideas, advice would be VERY appreciated.

thanks

:confused:
 
Wow...that sucks!

Wow...that sucks!

I was told that now'a'days the government automatically splits pensions for the amount of time we were married once we reach pension age.

I'm not sure what to tell you, but as (it sounds) like neither of you had independant legal council, that you COULD make a case on that.

It has been 10 years tho' and I'm not sure how difficult that'll be.

Good luck!
 
It was 10 years ago, you agreed to it, you are responsible for your agreements, don't blame him or your mother's passing, be responsible for what you agreed too!
 
WOW Billm...a little condescending in your reply. I wasn't blaming anyone, explaining my actions..that's all.. Did I say HE was to blame? noooo...

I think you've been severely burned and it shows, very bitter & toxic reply.

I was asking for advice or ideas...not to be spoken down to like a child.

You may go now!
 
Hey flame :(

You could have a case; however, considering the time lapse in making the request, it seems highly unlikely.

You have to have a REALLY good reason why you waited so long to make the request.

Even if you weren't "thinking clearly" 10 years ago, why haven't you "thought clearly" for the past 9 years... see what I'm saying??? I doubt a Judge would accept yor mothers passing as an excuse.

I can understand where you are comming from, but poor planning on your part should not be blamed on a guy you divorced a decade ago... right? Doesn't sound very fair.

And if your ex gets blindsided with this, he is NOT going to be a happy camper. Especially if he has since remarried and he and his new wife are planning for retirement.

I believe the legal fees for such a battle would be monumental.

At 56, you are hopefully still employable for a long time yet, and you might be better to focus your energy on getting ready for YOUR retirement, instead of inciting WW3 with your ex.

Most will probably agree with me here. But SOME might not be so nice about it. Just a heads up :)

Good Luck :D
 
flamemcain said:
...
my ex rushed me
Click to expand...

Sounds like laying the blame to me!

You made an agreement, and now you want to force a change, so yes I take exception to your attitude and expressed that in my own way - short and to the point.

Anyway, representingself put it in a much more pleasing way, but same conclusion.
 
thank you representingself, for your clear, informative and civil reply. There are very valid reasons why I waited so long to question the agreement. My mothers' passing was just the beginning.

However, at the risk of being raked over the coals for asking a question in this forum...I shall refrain from anything further.

We have all been burned at one time or another in life...some get over it....some never do and redirect it at others.
 
please do not stop asking questions. Some people will give you honest straightforward advice but will not sugar coat it.

I know that you wish you could go back in time and change the agreement but it was soo long ago. If everyone tried to change what they signed off on 10 years after the fact then there would be no sense in even making agreements. You made a mistake, everyone does, but not all mistakes are able to be erased or changed.
 
Hi Flamemcain

I'm right now discussing my pension with the lawyers and because there is a "Statute of Limitation" of 6 years from the date of seperation I was told he can not claim any part of my private pension but not sure about gov. pensions.
 
Im not sure about the govt pension like CCP. I think thats a shared respource but I agree that I believe there is a limit on time for equalization for all other items.

2 years after divorce
6 years after separation

My ex refused to sign agreements and it just sat in limbo. Went almost a year once without hearing back and then they decided to wake up. Been divorced and remairried now for 4 years. We have 1 item toi sign off to each other and Im happy with that and they should be too because otherwise the lawyers are the only ones to make money.

As best I can tell the rule is good and it seems only fair.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top