I was pulled back into court because my ex thinks I am making more and I am not she want support adjusted and retroactive. Sorry I didn't realize that the children in the article were that old I guess I just missed that or it didn't register on me. I had an access order but the ex did not follow it and denied me access. Even while I had access she played around with it. I had to drive 3 hours to pick my children up every other weekend and if I was more then 1/2 hour late I could not see them and if I was more then 1/2 late dropping them off she would not let me have them the next visit. She never once brought them up here to see me I always had to do the driving, 3 hours to pick them up 3 hours to bring them to my place as she would not allow us to stay at my Dad's place and then 3 hours to bring them home and then 3 hours more to get myself back home it was exhausting and cost me a lot in gas and wear and tare on my cars. She didn't have to help me with those costs or meet me half way nothing and she moved the children away not me.
The more I read your posts the more and more that it sounds just like what happened to my husband.
I am in your wife's shoes, trying desperately to mediate a very bitter situation only to be emotionally drained. My husband has a court order for access, and has been to court many times to explain how ex has manipulated his access or right out denied it. He would drive 6 hours to exercise access only to be told that the daughter didn't feel like it. We tried the psychological assessment route, spent more than $25,000 on doctor fees etc, only for it not to be used in court. Child started calling step dad "my real dad" when she was about 5 or 6. According to the daughter at the time "Mommy said that the man that lives with me is my real dad. I only have to pretend to be a "smith" (Not real name) when I am with you" (talking to her dad). Dad explained that if she was comfortable calling her step dad, "dad" that was great because she couldn't have too many people that loved her. He tried, in language she could understand, to explain that he and her mom made her, so that made him her real dad, and that mom's new husband was her "step dad". That he must love her very much to call her his daughter too, but he was only her step dad, etc. Anyway, everything went down hill from there, dad has not seen his child fin years.
He continued to show up for the next two scheduled access visits without getting access.
He tried contempt of a court order, judge laughed at his attempt.
The letters, the emails continued from dad to daughter. Dad send regular cards of update in the mail just so she’d know how the family was, that he didn’t blame her for anything, that he still loved and cared deeply for her. He would send treats to the class @ Valentines Day and Halloween, etc for the teacher’s to distribute on her behalf. He’d stay in contact with the principals and teachers until the ex made even that impossible. Soon not even the teacher’s would respond to his requests for academic updates which dad is 100% entitled. You see dad’s ex is a lawyer, and has friends in the business to support her, and all judges and lawyers seem to act in her favour regardless of the mountains of evidence.
So the ex sends a bogus order to the school stating dad was NOT permitted to speak to the teachers, nor inquire about the daughter that they were under no circumstances to give him anything regarding the daughter. So we took a copy of the daughters school file including the bogus order that the ex gave to the school to show what she was doing. Again the judge pretty much didn’t give a dam, and nothing came of the court date. We had a trial set, but could not get a lawyer to represent dad. Then the ex’s lawyer manipulated an email from Dad to get an order in place before the trial date. We had proceed expecting to self rep. When we called the court about something relating to the trial process, we were told the trial was cancelled by the other party. The secretary even provided us the documents. We started a motion for fraudulent document manipulation for the purpose of a court order. We provided all the original emails and correspondence and a hand writing analysis of the documents to show that a dad did not sign anything that these were all forged. Again dad was laughed at in court. The judge told dad that he would do well not to force the child to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with and gave no regard what so ever to the facts that we were there for, the lies and the false documents. Anyway, dad was steam rolled in family court. To this day we pray that the daughter will one day want to know answers to questions and come looking for them. We hope the FL system changes so this NEVER happens to another father or non-custodial parent. I know in my heart that the daughter was brain washed to believe the things she does. I know this is a standard case of PAS, but we had no chance in court. This is a sad ending to realize I know, but it happens and I know from the many posts that we are the only one’s in this kind of situation. When you have a bitter ex, there is nothing that is going to matter. We went bankrupt; we lost everything fighting to have the basic rights of a parent. Dad is still emotionally traumatized, and counselling doesn’t make a difference, dad said that this must be what it feels like to have a child die, except his child is alive, but he cannot hold her or talk to her, or anything and not because of anything he did, and that’s the painful part. He loves her so much and is an absolutly wonderful dad to the two kids we have. People talk about rights and laws, and just and unjust, and about doing "what ever it takes". But how much is everything? We lost literally everything, not only were we finacnialluy drained we were emotionally drained as well. We are talking about the family law system here, and I know first hand being the second wife after being the wife of an abuser that was also raked over the coals in FL court, that there is no fairness when the parties cannot agree. As long as the split is amicable things can be worked out, but if the ex is bitter heaven help ya!
Sorry about the length peple, I didn't mean to ramble I was just moved by the posts of Ihave2kidsIcannotsee and the similarities I'm sure many share.
My prayer's are with you!
