I need to see my daughter

You are frantic to see your daughter (understandably) .... however your best tactics will focus on the longer term. You can be sure that she will use your short-term anxiety to blackmail you into signing a long-term arrangement that limits your involvement. You *will* be your own worst enemy if you focus on short-term.... inhuman cool and patience and persistence is required.
 
on false accusations.....deny, deny deny....ignore it.... and don't ever defend it in writing....example of letter...Honey I admit I have a drinking problem and I'm working on being a better man ..Don't add fuel to the fire
 
FB_ said:
Isn't this exactly what emergency motions are for?
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I was told no by basically everyone. The child has to be in imminent danger. Judges rarely give them befire cc's. What they do is annoy judges because they have to push back other cases. My daughters been denied her rights to see me and is for sure emotionally distraught. Like I said, I was her number one. Her hero. I'm afraid shes being brainwashed, I'm afraid of the status quo and I'm afraid of losing the powerful father/daughter bond. A lot more as well. Unfortunatly somehow none of these meet the criteria for an emergency motion. Its funny how they dontbtske he emotional effect of "forced separation" by one patent into account for such a motion. I'm trying to play my cards right and pissing off a judge doesnt sound like a good idea. Am I afraid of her physical safety or that physical harm is being done? Not really. Its the emotional ramifications that are so bothersome. Trust me...I went for an emergency motion...FLIC said probably not a good idea.
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You are letting others persuade you, discouraging you from a emergency motion, why is your daughter not worth that? Anyway you know what your gut feelings are but it is incredibly important to be selfish in protecting the rights of your daughter. That is the theme that will guide you to come to the best solution. Again in family court Judges Just want some kind of agreement to be sighned and off you go.

I went through a Restraining order and supervised access, the complete ringer. I cleaned up in the court room in the end. I won but we all lost.
My only regret was the fact I did know how much power I had and somewhat succomed to the pressure.

Be reasonable but do not be afraid of the Judge or any body else. Remember to start every argument and comment MY DAUGHTER IS ENTITLED to this and that . Once in the court room I posed a question for every one in that court room to feel free to answer including the Judge.
There was silence. I made my point banked some more respect and moved on

I feel you know what you need to do so the only lesson for you to learn now is to be ferocious within the selfish attitude for protection of the entitlement of a child , your child.
 
I will be going for an EM to try and prevent this emotional trauma on my daughter, my family and I from continuing.

This is the procedure correct?
So I will file my 14/14A and ask family court counter what court dates are available. I have to serve the other party papers 4 days prior to court date. They will reply with the "violence, alcohol, drugs and whatever imaginative things she can conjure up" in a reply. I reply to her reply in a response affidavit. I file my 14C confirmation 2 days prior before 2:00pm. I show up on court date telling judge why the law says I should have custody of my daughter and why it can not wait until the CC. I speak for roughly 20mins, her lawyer speaks horror stories for another 20 mins. I reply to those new facts referring to specific points/facts. Judge renders a decision there.

My daughter was abducted and ripped away form everything she knew. My mother and grandparents even saw her close to every weekend. SO its not just me. My daughter was torn away from her whole extended family. Nobody can sleep, not even my daughter Im sure. She left all her favorite toys, is not well financially and has been suffering bouts of depression (which I assume would be hard to prove). So I'll talk about "Abduction", "Emotional Abuse to child", "Parental alienation and the psychological ramifications". There are some great minds in this forum. How should I word it to the judge. How to I stop this madness and get my baby girl back before status quo increases, brainwashing persists, etc. Please help.
 
My ex got an exclusive possession order and i was seeing my kids 15hrs/week for about a year.

I got a psychosocial evaluation that recommended shared custody - no concerns whatsoever.

When I got to court roughly 14 months after the initial ambush the judge told my lawyer I should have filed an emergency motion - after I got the psychosocial evaluation I told my lawyer, practically begged him to file one and he didn't it ended up "costing" me as I didn't get shared custody and instead fo 39% custody which is great in someways but expensive.

So better file than not.

Also, tone it down - just say you would like more access or shared custody pending the trial. There are no risks or problems with you and you can take care of all her needs. You need to read the judge, go into detail if he allows etc.... Don't act like a frantic desperate person, a confident, calm, slightly distressed person, you have to be composed in court.
 
I am very sorry for your ordeal. Being the victim of false allegations must be extremely difficult for you and your child.

I speak for myself only. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I had pages of prior occurence reports. However I never used them against the other parent to block any kind of access.

What I am trying to tell you is that no matter what happened between yourself and your ex it is irrellevant to access. Every child deserves to have both parents in their lives. Period.

The holes in the walls dont matter to the judge. I was fortunate to negotiate a settlement out of court in the midst of litigation. I want to reassure you that you will be able to see your child. Get the ball rolling and file an emergency motion. Good luck.
 
A motion isn't a Trial...A motion is a he said/she said filed into the Court and you only say anything when a Judge asks you something, I haven't done an emergency motion and all I can assume is you want the Court to make a Temporary Order or Interium Order when you are there.
Remember a Judge is kind of like a news reporter all they want to know is WHO, WHAT, WHERE and WHY and those questions must be based on FACT (which isn't going to be the case at a motion) then they can make a decision. If you and ex start slinging mud at each other...what is a Judge going to do? yup maintian the status quo and your going to be one ticked of dude...times 1000
Your primary objective is the child...you still live in the stable matrimonial house/apartment with close family (bring some to Court). You want to mediate any other issues your ex may have after the motion...provide a workable access schedule and you'll pick up/drop off the child. Supplying a Judge with a criminal record check makes it easier for the Judge to make a decision. Somewhere a no move directive has to be made on your EX...womens shelters are not stable enviroments for kids they are temporay housing.
If your ex also smartens up (she'll be trained at the shelter) and "will" come in saying she has some concerns about you....and has E-mails asking you to pick up your child or called you about it (it ain't a Trial she can say whatever ever she likes) the judge may slam you for wasting the Courts time and award costs for the day to your ex. (I speak from experience ..paying court costs of 1000 bucks fighting to see my kid(s), I wasn't prepared for Court (darn Forms) and was all fire and vinegar about my rights to see the kids which she was denying access just after separation.... and SPLAT)
 
MrToronto said:
A motion isn't a Trial...A motion is a he said/she said filed into the Court and you only say anything when a Judge asks you something, I haven't done an emergency motion and all I can assume is you want the Court to make a Temporary Order or Interium Order when you are there.
Remember a Judge is kind of like a news reporter all they want to know is WHO, WHAT, WHERE and WHY and those questions must be based on FACT (which isn't going to be the case at a motion) then they can make a decision. If you and ex start slinging mud at each other...what is a Judge going to do? yup maintian the status quo and your going to be one ticked of dude...times 1000
Your primary objective is the child...you still live in the stable matrimonial house/apartment with close family (bring some to Court). You want to mediate any other issues your ex may have after the motion...provide a workable access schedule and you'll pick up/drop off the child. Supplying a Judge with a criminal record check makes it easier for the Judge to make a decision. Somewhere a no move directive has to be made on your EX...womens shelters are not stable enviroments for kids they are temporay housing.
If your ex also smartens up (she'll be trained at the shelter) and "will" come in saying she has some concerns about you....and has E-mails asking you to pick up your child or called you about it (it ain't a Trial she can say whatever ever she likes) the judge may slam you for wasting the Courts time and award costs for the day to your ex. (I speak from experience ..paying court costs of 1000 bucks fighting to see my kid(s), I wasn't prepared for Court (darn Forms) and was all fire and vinegar about my rights to see the kids which she was denying access just after separation.... and SPLAT)
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Yikes. That's what scares me. I simply can't afford to pay her costs for an EM. I work in the special needs field, for delayed children and adults and have a clean "vulnerable sector" check done regularly. I can provide notes from parents of special needs students, whom I was left alone with daily. My spouse and I had our difficulties in the relationship although nothing shes saying. This doesnt affect my parenting abilities. I was also the head therapist of an autistic preschool and am currently an educational assistant for the schoolboard. This is why my daughter can read almost full lenth infant books, knows her abc's, can count unusually high, has excellent fine motor/gross motor skills and has exceptional social skills. I spent every waking second teaching her. With mother = tv and pajamas all day. I literally had to get her out for fresh air as soon as I got home from work.
 
-The clean check is good
-Drop the teaching your kid to read stuff - the judge doesn't care if you are superdad as long as you are a good dad
-If i were you don't mention legalese terms; don't say status quo and stuff like that.
-Just say you have a stable environment, no proven charges against you and you'd like your child to continue living with you at least half the time in their home.
 
LF32 I cannot stress this enough....The Court (Judges) put alot of stock on their Court Mediation Services, go personally (when u file things) and spend the time meeting them..( if you don't think Judges/clerks/mediators don't know each other, have lunch, play golf you may be right) Mediators get very active at Court to save the Judges headaches....and they'll approach your ex even on the day of your EM at the Courthouse..even with 5 minutes until your called into the Courtroom.... to ask the ex to mediate..... refusal goes straight to Judge (and not happy at refuser).....acceptance to mediate the mediators will delay the appearance in front of Judge until a nice chat is done with both partys together or separate rooms...ask for the notes to be made for the Judge. I blew off the mediator swarms in Court and there perstering phone calls at home, it made things rougher for me...and just prior to Trial the Judges at conferences only cared about my rejection of Court mediators! (I won the Trial but my denial to mediate was a huge issue at trial...and I didn't get costs being unreasonable and all)
 
Yes I'm big on mediation right now. I'm sending her council "offers of mediation in hopes of reaching some kind of settlement for Kidlet's sake". I say things like "I understand the important role my daughters mother will play in her life". Unfortunately the truth is that her desire for complete control is blinding her to the child's needs. Not to mention the "maximum contact principle". I inquired about access in that same e-mail that I mentioned "mediation" in. Suddenly her lawyer responds. My 9th request for access and he finally responds with "Thank you for your e-mail, Ill forward this to her". That magical word "mediation" I suppose. She's got legal aid. I highly doubt they want to fall in to the 4% who go to trial. Everything I type, I type as if the judge is reading it right then.

In terms of my CC brief, I'm having a rough time balancing refuting her allegations with evidence (this is where you lay out your evidence for attacks right?) and preaching my parenting skills, supports, job flexibility, etc. No matter how many times I edit it it's too wordy. I know the judge just wants to twist arms to settle here but everything she said is a lie and I have documented proof with times and dates. But I don't want the whole CC to focus on my defense as it would indeed be counterproductive. Or would it make her look terrible and have the judge think "wow .. she really did him wrong".
 
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Judge will not read the affidavits. Will most likley appoint a childrens lawyer. This will be all you need to finish off your defence. Oh if no one suggest it you must request it in the best intrest of your daughter

Judge will not even read the OCL report either. Legal aid will do only what you allow them too do to you.

Dont give in dont worry to much. Life is long. Be patient.
 
Thanks for the encouraging words. The relationship my daughter and I have is indescribable Just perfection. This is a torture but I know I have to man up and soldier on. Im learning new things every day. Jude "wont" read the evidence "affidavits"? oh boy. Time to study up on OCL. What a nightmare.
 
Nop. That,s what I hear and that,s what I saw. Looks like they just read the briefs. Can you imagine reading through all that mud slinging most or all it without credible evidence.

One of my big mistakes was to to not demand we review OCL report. I should have quoted from it relentlessly. The only problem I had with the report was" the mother should have sole custody do to the high conflict"
Totally unfair and a stupid suggestion seeing as she was causing it. If you get the chance pose a question if this is the best strategy to gain sole custody by abusing a child in this manner. Oh and remember. Although the report may be very highly in in your favour YOU MUST DISPUTE the report with some official dispute form or the Judge will surprise you with a " why you didn't question" Totally shocked me.

I tell you they don,t have enough Damn to give. They just want you out of the system and on your way.
This to me is not in the best interest of the children. Most divorces and conflicts are just a mess that only time can clean up and I understand that, but some mess,s need a Judge to spend a little or a lot of extra time too , and again to protect these children.
 
What this sounds like is she removed the child from the home without your permission and this is supposed to be against the law. She has abandoned the home and the children.
I had to let a lot of stuff go as when your ex is a stay at home you just end up holding the bag as you cant do it all, especially to think your daughter is in all day day care and the mother is hold up in some apartment waiting for her lawyer to screw you. This will never happen as without some kind of custody order she has the right to pick her up as soon as you drop her off and or vice versa. She would abuse her child this way but you would not.

So the parent with the least amount of conscience wins. Do all that you can to see her now. FILE and let it all run it's cource.
 
Shes slinging mud. Id just be disproving her. FLIC told me yesterday that a judge would laugh at me for an EM since child is in no immediate danger and my cc is one month away. Do tell me, how do I see my daughter? How? Ive sent 10 requests for access, including many alternatives for exchanges, etc. Somedays I just want to show up with witnesses with video cameras do no allegations can be made and take my daughter back. She has no papers to be able to do this. Why is this okay to the police? Its kidnapping based on lies. I have my rights....or so I thought.
 
That's right she has no more rights to that little girl than you do. Actually the child's address is where you live. That,s all you need to know. It is the trauma associated with it. I think you have to do it. At least show up but somewhere in public or with witnesses. She will try for a restraining order and may even get it. That may help you show how vindictive she is.

Oh and let the Judge laugh if they think this is so funny. Fine accuse her of a mental disorder and claim she may cause injury to the child. Then the Judge will have to error in the name of caution and grant it. You see Family law is all about lying unfortunately. But it only for short term gain, but it comes without consequences, as how can anyone prove your lying when " deep down in your heart you truly honestly believed you were telling the truth and still do " as long as you never admit it your golden to reek havoc.

Every divorce should come with immediate shared custody.

Anyway go see your daughter and at least wave to her, file that motion. You don't need to defend against her allegations now, you need to make them and let her worry about defending against yours as you worry about her's. Get it.? Nobody wins but one will loose more. Your daughter has lost some of her entitlement, her rights and she desperately misses her family , all are devastated and are very concerned with the well being of this child and feel harm may befall her at the hands of this unstable and mean spirited woman. Say it over and over and make your self believe it. Man that,s what she is doing, that,s what mine did all without consequence. Makes me sick. It helps to know it happens every day so your not alone and this too shall pass. Take it form me if I can make anyone can make it. And the kids ? They are the strongest of all . Bless their little hearts. Good good luck.
 
A restraining order would be bad. I work for special needs and get vulnerable sector checks. Family restraining orders show up on those. I would lose my ployment. Shes already requesting one for the cc. Another strategy to eliminate me from my daughters life. Also. I'm not sure id just wave if I saw my daughter. Id probably take her. She d want to come. The n id be in jail. Thats the only problem.
 
A restraining order and vunerable persons record check are not related. Go to a police station pay the $20 get the police record check and ask them all you need to know about your concerns. Been there done that. If some bullshit restraining order all without evidence or a charge can ruin a carrer then all men would be ruined and could be easily blackmailed by almost anyone even people you dont know.

You see how nervous and afraid they have you. This happens to every man in this situation. Go to the station , there open all night long and cross one more thing off your list. Get stronger now. Go
 
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