How to respond to letter from ex re: support withdrawal

[geena]

I've received a letter with an offer of 1200 for child support based on my ex's 150, 000/ income. Our divorce agreement has child support and spousal support to be given for an undetermined amount of time. We have been legally divorced with this agreement for two years. He was in arrears for the first year and I received a lump payment last year for the two years he was owing. Now, I am awaiting Canada Revenue to review my notice of assessment as it is incorrect when assessed as it should have been. I should not have been put in a bracket to pay income tax at all. I received a bill for 11 thousand dollars, which now is still under review. Ishould be entitled to get legal aid to assist with my now new issues with regards to support, but due to the error in my income, I cannot apply till they finish the review of my assessments. I have been told I will be fine, and have a refund coming to me. In the interim, I have this letter, with an offer of child support only and a full dismissal of my spousal support. Also a statement that they will ask for me to pay for his legal fees. I make less than 15,000 a year, and am finding this all overwhelming. anyone got somewhere I can start? How to respond to his lawyer? He has Lerner's in London..BIG BUCKS..but he's making BIG BUCKS now and trying to scare me…..HELP!!!

 

[NBDad]

How long were you married? How old are you? how old is he? It appears you are currently working? Full time?? Part time? Did you work during the marriage? Did you sacrifice your career/earnings in favor of his?

How many kids, how old, and what is the current custody/access arrangement?

Really hard to give you any real info without knowing some specifics.

What material change in circumstances is he indicating as the reason for requesting termination of spousal?

Now, I am awaiting Canada Revenue to review my notice of assessment as it is incorrect when assessed as it should have been.

He gets a tax credit on payment of spousal. Did they count your lump sum as income?

Also a statement that they will ask for me to pay for his legal fees

Don't take legal advice from your ex or his lawyer. This is standard. What will happen, is that IF this gets to trial (and 1% of ALL cases do) and IF there is a reasonable offer to settle in play, then the person who had a reasonable offer made to them and refused it MIGHT have to pay costs.

That is months or years down the road. Court is NOT a quick process.

 

[geena]

I am 48 he is 41. I am not working full time. I work in a salon where I am apprenticing as well as I do some aesthetics. I am able to work around my son, and am being trained so I may get licensed in the near future.
HIS circumstances have changed. He now is living common-law, He is making double what he used too. We were only legally married for two years, but we lived common law for 8 years. I worked full time up to us being common-law a year and a half. Court issued 1200 spousal for an undetermined time, and 800 for child support. Now the support for child will go up due to his income. He has never wanted to pay me support, so for the first time since the divorce, he is on time with asking for it to be dropped. It has cost me heavily for the spousal given his arrears and lump sum pay to me to catch up…Not only did I go without support for over a year, but now I am being taxed on that lump, and he wants to dump support for me all together. I do rely on his money. I am trying to be independent. He constantly gives me grief for paying me, accusing me of blowing money on myself and trips and clothes. I own a house, it takes everything to pay for it, and live..I don't have a savings, but am working on it. Im just not sure how to re word a counter offer to reduce my support maybe? I can't get a lawyer. Lerners out of London have his case, and they are big bucks, how do I win a case with his money behind a good lawyer?…Our divorce agreement was dated two years ago. I was hoping to keep it for a bit longer till I can get myself more hours, and be able to have my son stay on his own. He is 12. I have cared for him most of the summer, give or take a few long weekends when his dad comes back to town. I have to be able to be flexible as I never know when he is back to visit. Never any notice, and no schedule spite the order. I just get "I have to work away to support your lazy ass." So, I just need help to reply so that I don't get stuck with a court date before I can get legal advice.

 

[takeontheworld]

And 1200 is not enough for you? I honestly think ss is the biggest ripoff since revenu canada.

 

[geena]

Child support is geared to his income regardless.. I don' think that I should be looking at the child support as my support. Child support goes towards sports, fun, activities, shelter, food…do you know how much a teenager eats?..My issue is with the finality of the spousal support based on the reasons it was given in the first place. I would like to take some more courses, train….get back on my feet. an with the FACT that I went the first year and a half with him in arrears, I am still paying back loans I needed, not to mention the government wanting 11 thousand dollars.

 

[Janibel]

do you know how much a teenager eats?...

A heck of a lot! I wonder if Dad also knows? Your son is 12, would it be a good thing for him to live with his father? It would give you a chance to get back on your feet financially and might give your ex a better appreciation of what it means to be a single parent?

Also, if you could provide legal aid with the documents proving that you are entitled to their services, there might be a chance of getting a least a minimum of representation in court - or search the net for PRO BONO lawyers in your area who could advise you on how to self-rep.

 

[geena]

It is the best interest of our child for him to be live with me. His father iWork's away. Not to mention he needs the routine and stability. He has a learning disability as well, he does not like being with his dads girlfriend. It would not be considered even by has father. His father is only home a few days at a time and gone two or three weeks at a time. The same reason he wanted me to not work. I need to work on my independence with my son. Just need a little longer and will reduce support hopefully.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

I would take what he wil be paying extra in CS and tell him you agree to reduce SS so you are still only getting 1800 total a month, same money you are living on now. Also ask that it is a graduated scale to be cut off in a year or when you think the courses will be done. That way you dont lose and neither does he as he isnt paying anymore then he is now and there is a end is sight for SS.

 

[NBDad]

I am not working full time.

Problem 1...it's been 2 years....you should have full time employment by now. Figure out how much longer it will take you to acquire that.

I work in a salon where I am apprenticing as well as I do some aesthetics. I am able to work around my son, and am being trained so I may get licensed in the near future.

When? You need to determine a firm date as to when you will reasonably expect this to happen.

With an 8 year relationship, at MAX you should expect 4 years of spousal. So you can reasonably expect an additional 2 years.

My advice to you,is to get some firm plans in place on when you expect to complete training, and to be making at least the amount of full time/min wage.

Then you reply to him with those plans, and offer a firm set in stone termination date for spousal not more than 2 years in the future.

CS is automatic, it WILL be adjusted. It sounds like he is not contesting that, merely your need for spousal. Give it a firm, fair and reasonable termination date, and see what he says to that offer.