How have you picked up the pieces

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kconnections

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Just wondering how others who are divorced have "picked up the pieces" so to speak. It is never easy finding yourself divorced and single again when you thought you would be spending your life with someone.
 
Picking up the pieces is not easy...but we seem to find inner strength to do what we need to do.

First thing is to take care of yourself...go to the gym, join a club, find time to be with friends, find opportunities to meet new people (social networks tend to break down with break ups of a marriage as well, you really learn who your friends are)

Once you have taken care of yourself, then you have the strength to take care of your children. Don't deprive yourself of the things you need...children are much healthier when they have stable, well adjusted, and settled parents.

Do some reading on self help...one of the best books I have read...The Power of Now...Eckhart Tolle. It is fabulous for helping you move past the bitterness of divorce and the loss of a marriage.
 
In addition to what nikitaforce recommends, I recommend counseling. A divorce is really one of the most stressful experiences in life, and a counselor can help you in a way that family and friends can’t necessarily do.
 
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Just get up

Just get up

Sometimes its just enough to get going on a project, job, or cleaning the house than to think about putting the pieces together. Down the road the situation starts seeming so distant and irrelevant to life today. Hang in there. It won't last forever.
 
I agree with abigail. You just need to find a focus for your energy and angst. Be it your job, your children, your hobbies or best of all a combination of all of the above. Focus on living life and not dwelling on the divorce. It is not possible to go back in time, you can only move forward. So look ahead and move ahead and keep yourself busy and active. No time to feel sorry for yourself. Even more important if you have children.
 
Time as the greatest healer.

Time as the greatest healer.

I remember breaking off with an ex girlfriend and going thru an 8 month depression ...

1. Keep yourself busy.
2. Goto a gym.
3. Pray.
4. Visit friends
5. Ask yourself, just how much stress are you willing to take, knowing it will affect your health.
6. Decide, plan and execute where U want your life to go. ACTION. ACTION.

The best thing to remember is that, TIME is the greatest healer.

I know it's tuff, but there is always a lesson to learn in hardships in life.
 
nikitaforce said:
First thing is to take care of yourself...go to the gym, join a club, find time to be with friends, find opportunities to meet new people (social networks tend to break down with break ups of a marriage as well, you really learn who your friends are)
Click to expand...

This is perfect advice!
I found the gym to be my savior
I dont know why really, it just made me feel so much better about myself.
It really clears your mind, any form of exercise does that for you.
 
Make some time for you. Even if you have children and other obligations take a little time for yourself. Everyone needs this and I think it can be especailly important to "pamper" yourself a little when going through a major life changing event such as divorce.
 
hubby said:
I remember breaking off with an ex girlfriend and going thru an 8 month depression ...

1. Keep yourself busy.
2. Goto a gym.
3. Pray.
4. Visit friends
5. Ask yourself, just how much stress are you willing to take, knowing it will affect your health.
6. Decide, plan and execute where U want your life to go. ACTION. ACTION.

The best thing to remember is that, TIME is the greatest healer.

I know it's tuff, but there is always a lesson to learn in hardships in life.
Click to expand...

Excellent!
Particulary going to a gym. I cant believe how much I felt better about life in general when I started getting fit and eating better.
 
Yes going to a gym is a good thing to add into the equation. Also spending time with friends and those who we hold dear can make the changes following divorce a little less difficult.
 
Without friends, I don't know what I would've done!!!

I went to church a lot..I prayed a lot...I talked to God a lot...Read books, played with my doggies, etc etc...

I just became thankful each other for smallest things I took for granted.

Picking up pieces - such a hard thing at the same time, you learn new things about yourself.

Be strong!
 
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