How do i react to this

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iceberg

iceberg

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My child told me mommy said "when you were little daddy tried to beat you and mommy called police and left to protect you".

I guess our kid asked her why she dont live with me. So I said that is no true and I will call mommy now she will tell you that.

The kid said "NO, MOM WILL BE SO MAD AT ME SHE TOLD ME NOT TO TELL YOU"

I didn"t call. What is the proper way to deal with this. The kid loves me and she started phoning me to come to my place. Also in 2 days she starts KG and will be with me like mon-fri.

But how do I tell ex to shut her mouth WITHOUT HER RETALIATING AND INDUCING FEAR IN THE CHILD
 
i know the first thing you did was tell your daughter that you love her and would never do anything to physically harm her. I would not say anything to her like your mother is an out and out liar. (even though she may be)

I would document this and keep an eye on the situation. If you tell your ex then she may take it out on the child and the poor little thing wont tell you anything. At least this way you can keep the lines of communication open with your daughter and take appropriate actions when you have enough evidence.
 
man i am so afraid of a situation like this, i guess next time i would try to video tape what the child says and give it to the judge?
 
Another thing to do is to make sure your child understands that she can tell you anything, even things Mommy told her not to. Assure her that you are there to listen to her and take her seriously, no matter what.
 
This stuff happens,just brush off wat the child says(record it though in a journal) never run down the other spouse to your child, "say it's grownup stuff" leave it at that,, Ex's do Hostile Agressive Parenting the reason they think they can get away with it is that they think the kids is all there's to control. I would give notice to your ex about what the child said and you want it to stop immediately if not your going to court for a change in custody. Three of 4 notices like that to your (if it doesn't stop) should be enough to actually take a trip to court....anyways just a thought
 
Parental Alienation Syndrome.

I would call CAS and ask for help.

You can't change what your ex does, but CAS can and will look into such things. From there. with appropriate documentation, you go back to court for full custody as the ex is unwilling to be supportive to your relationship with the kid(s).

My ex's husband has a bad habit of telling my boy that "Daddy doesn't love you".

A call to CAS, a restraining order threatened, and the CAS worker hearing it from the mouth of babe stopped such shenanigans - for now at least.
 
I had a similar thing happen - my 3.5yo daughter told me that I beat her and her stepmom. When confronted, she said I'M NOT LYING MUMMY SAID SO. It was a bit absurd because aside from exchanges, mummy has never been in our house or been with us when we have D.

So we had a low key talk confirming her own experiences of living with us, how it was good etc. etc.

I'm guessing mummy was fishing, not directly feeding her a lie.

But anyway ... minimise (I think to your child, this topic is not so big&bad - unless actually experienced, of course), strengthen your bond, and perhaps start to have some light talks (at other times) introducing the concepts of lying, good secrets and bad secrets.

And don't let mummy know she told you, or do anything that would cause mummy to ramp up the 'secrets'.
 
2 incidents in the last 2 months.Kids dont listen to dads but only to moms and daddy tried to beat u so mommy protected you.

The good thing is the child seems mot to care. Our kid loves me. We took her to school today and she wouldnt hold moms hand unless she was holding mine too. Pretty sad but part of life.

If her bs continues court will ask for evidence. Should it continue I will get cas involved.

Now that the kid will spend m-f with me any parental alienation on a 5 year old wont work is ex attempts it.

She was very kind to me today except when she slipped "next year the child will go to school from my house" which means I first get every weekend and eventially EOW
 
wretchedotis said:
I would call CAS and ask for help.

You can't change what your ex does, but CAS can and will look into such things.
Click to expand...

As said, can't change what ex does or says.

CAS? Can't either. Sure they may look into it. But I speak from (bad) experience with CAS. Ex can deny and CAS does nothing. I tried to get them to talk to children and they won't. And I had two case workers at CAS, both treated me condescendingly. Maybe I just got unlucky (small town) and it would help you but I avoid these people. It could however scare the ex and make them stop. But in my case, it wasn't a deterrent.
 
CAS will do nothing...went through similar experience... ex locked kids in a room and told then horrible things about me. CAS had already been involved from an "annonymous call" on how I was neglecting my kids...of course they do their due diligence and come have a looksy and both kids laughed at the allegations but did tell CAS that their dad hit them several times and also locked them in a room and said some pretty mean and things about me...even told the kids he was not their real dad??? huh???

Anyhow in the eyes eyes of any normal person one would say that this is a form of mental and emotional abuse and their own websites cleary defines "abuse". CAS did nothing even though my kids asked the social worker to help put a stop to this.....It never ends and it is truly unfortunate that the kids are used as a "weapon" and "battleground"

When my kids return home to me, I don't even ask anymore how their days or weekends were with dad. If they tell me it was a bitch fest about mom...I say one day it will get better. One day right?
 
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