How do I end Child Support

N

nearlydone

New member
My kids are all over 19, none are going to school and two don't live with the ex anymore. It's a $1000 retainer and $300/hour to get a lawyer to end this (as far as I know). I'm in the FRO system. Any help would be appreciated as I just can't afford that. By the way, ex lives in Calgary and is off on Disability and is struggling a bit. But he lives in a HUGE house in a good neighbourhood and hasn't adjusted his expenses to reflect the loss of income. My 21 year old daughter has offered to help him with a budget but he's refused. I KNOW that if I ask to end it amicably there will be a fight. Besides, we can't seem to talk to each other for more than 5 minutes without TENSION.
 
Print off this form from the FRO website and mail it to them...

http://www.forms.ssb.gov.on.ca/mbs/ssb/forms/ssbforms.nsf/GetFileAttach/006-FRO-031E~2/$File/FRO-031E.pdf
 
nearlydone said:
My kids are all over 19, none are going to school and two don't live with the ex anymore. It's a $1000 retainer and $300/hour to get a lawyer to end this (as far as I know). I'm in the FRO system. Any help would be appreciated as I just can't afford that. By the way, ex lives in Calgary and is off on Disability and is struggling a bit. But he lives in a HUGE house in a good neighbourhood and hasn't adjusted his expenses to reflect the loss of income. My 21 year old daughter has offered to help him with a budget but he's refused. I KNOW that if I ask to end it amicably there will be a fight. Besides, we can't seem to talk to each other for more than 5 minutes without TENSION.
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If he would be amiable, it doesn't cost money.

You can file a Motion on consent to make the change. I worked with FRO to do it without a Montion on Consent and they did process it, and even made the order retroactive.

The form is called : Application to Discontinue Enforcement of Ongoing Support - Form, FRO-031E.

But if the ex disputes it, it will have to be decided by FRO senior management.
 
Thank you. I've filled out the form and spoken to my FRO rep. Ex has 30 days to respond. If he says yes, they review it and end it. If he says no it has to go to court. If he ignores it they will review it.
 
So that helps ME. Now my current husband is trying to do the same except that he isn't through FRO. Kids are 22 and 19 and neither live at home or are going to school. He still pays for one but thinks its time to be done. Like I said she isn't living at home (lives with her boyfriend) and has finished college). How do we do this? He has an appt with a lawyer but its $1000 retainer and $300/hour. Any suggestions?
 
nearlydone said:
So that helps ME. Now my current husband is trying to do the same except that he isn't through FRO. Kids are 22 and 19 and neither live at home or are going to school. He still pays for one but thinks its time to be done. Like I said she isn't living at home (lives with her boyfriend) and has finished college). How do we do this? He has an appt with a lawyer but its $1000 retainer and $300/hour. Any suggestions?
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Motions to Change - Ministry of the Attorney General

Here you go. It need not take a lawyer, if the other party doesn't want to go to court.
 
nearlydone said:
So that helps ME. Now my current husband is trying to do the same except that he isn't through FRO. Kids are 22 and 19 and neither live at home or are going to school. He still pays for one but thinks its time to be done. Like I said she isn't living at home (lives with her boyfriend) and has finished college). How do we do this? He has an appt with a lawyer but its $1000 retainer and $300/hour. Any suggestions?
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Not going through FRO? Simply stop paying. It might be nice to give a courtesy warning to the ex that as the last child has moved out, CS cheques will cease next month. She has already had however many months it's been since the kid moved out to prepare and budget for this to happen.

This is such a no-brainer it shouldn't even need a lawyer unless she puts up a fuss. Even then, it would be up to her to take action and initiate court, and if that ends up being necessary, WHEN she loses, you ask for her to pay his legal costs because this should all have been preventable.
 
FRO was easy. My husband called to change his address. His case worker called back for an update on his daughter, and told him to stop sending payments. She had just finished her post secondary. The worker sent him the form and he faxed it back. His ex didn't respond in the 30 days, so his worker called to tell him it's final and sent a letter stating support was terminated.

If not through FRO... well, what does the agreement say? No longer a child of the marriage? I would suggest he just send her a letter saying payments are done. He could give her a few weeks notice. Put it on her to come after it. She won't win.
 
This may be a no brainer and that was the plan until we had a consult WITH a lawyer and was told that if we didn't do this through the court she could at anytime throw it back into the system (for whatever reason, she's a b**, or kid goes back to school). We want this official.
 
nearlydone said:
This may be a no brainer and that was the plan until we had a consult WITH a lawyer and was told that if we didn't do this through the court she could at anytime throw it back into the system (for whatever reason, she's a b**, or kid goes back to school). We want this official.
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Doing it through FRO is official. They will review the agreement. They will not eliminate support unless the ending of support is in line with the terms of the agreement.

If the kid goes back to school, then it depends on how your agreement is worded, that wording was added by my ex to the agreement.
 
nearlydone said:
This may be a no brainer and that was the plan until we had a consult WITH a lawyer and was told that if we didn't do this through the court she could at anytime throw it back into the system (for whatever reason, she's a b**, or kid goes back to school). We want this official.
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That sounds like a lawyer who wants to get paid a lot of legal fees to help you do something that ought to be basic. He's preying on your fears.

Because you don't go through FRO, notify your ex that child support ends as the child is grown and out of the house. Stop paying.

If the ex agrees, you mutually fill out a Motion to Change to amend the CS portion of the agreement so that CS ends, and send it to the courthouse to be stamped by a judge. That makes it official. You don't need a lawyer at this point.

If the ex objects, the onus is on her to return you to the legal system and have your payments ordered to start up again. Based on the children being grown and no longer living with her, she's got a hard hard battle to fight. You probably still don't need a lawyer at this point as the situation is pretty straightforward. I can't imagine what arguments she could use to support a position that CS should still be paid for an adult who no longer resides with her and is not attending school.

What is most likely to happen is that the ex will get your notification, and sigh, because she knows you are right, and that will end it.

Worst case scenario, she submits your old agreement to FRO so they will enforce CS, in which case you inform FRO that the child no longer lives with the mother and you are in the process of ending CS. Then take the previously described steps to end CS with FRO involvement.

Should you find yourself in court because the ex is completely intractible, you request that she pay all your legal costs, because this was completely unecessary and a waste of resources.

I haven't gone through this stuff myself, so if I have anything incorrect, others will speak up.

There aren't many lawyers who will tell you a matter is easy and you should do it yourself. Most will draw out a simple process, in the guise of being 'thorough,' so they can get as much money out of you as possible.

Should the child return to school, unless she moves back in with her mother to do so, I would suggest that you send any funds directly to her if you wish to support her financially.
 
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