Help he has not returned children after visitation

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purpleheather

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Help what can I do..My ex took my boys 22 months and 7 for his regular weekend. Pick up on Friday due to return Last night. He has refused to bring them home. He tells me there is nothing I can do and he will keep them as long as he wants. He tells me that his lawyer notifyed my lawyer on Friday (by fax)that he would be keeping them for extended period. My lawyer has been trying to get him to mediation for the past 3 months , his lawyer will not return my lawyers calls. He also stopped paying child support, and has never payed SP.
I am unable to contact my lawyer ...........what can I do
 
purpleheather said:
Help what can I do..My ex took my boys 22 months and 7 for his regular weekend. Pick up on Friday due to return Last night. He has refused to bring them home. He tells me there is nothing I can do and he will keep them as long as he wants. He tells me that his lawyer notifyed my lawyer on Friday (by fax)that he would be keeping them for extended period. My lawyer has been trying to get him to mediation for the past 3 months , his lawyer will not return my lawyers calls. He also stopped paying child support, and has never payed SP.
I am unable to contact my lawyer ...........what can I do
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Are there any court orders in place determing Custody and Access of the children?
 
Unfortunately no, being worked on. All I have is a signed Separation agreement between both of us, not registered with the court.saying his access is every other weekend, and Wed nights weekly. and any extended time to be discussed prior to. For the past 9 months is has been established that my home is primary residence. There is mediation meeting scheduled on the 15th Oct
 
I think you have to file an Application with the court immediately. Status Quo regimes of children are difficult to change once the litigation starts.

Looks like this is the reason why the children were not returned and they have no intention to honour the Separation Agreement.

The longer a regime goes on and you do nothing--This is considered acquired consent! Courts seldom interfere with the Status Quo which was obtained on acquired consent.

File this week! I can't emphasize this enough!
 
Well it just got worse; I eventually had a return call from my lawyer. I told her I wanted to file for a court order and she said I would need to get another lawyer, as she is not willing to go to court. She still wants me to go the mediation route. While I agree with mediation and went as far as putting together a very liberal 'Parenting Plan" using some information found on this site, at this point I am in fear that unless I get something formal he can arbitrarily continue to do just as he pleases. He did take the older one to school, I babysit and had to be at the school with this other child, It took all my strength and willpower not to grab my son and run, I just could not put my son in this position. He did not have the baby with him. All I can think is going to the courthouse and filling somthing myself
 
I am familiar with FLICK no one available today, I did speak to duty council yesterday was advised to speak to my Lawyer, I mentioned in one of last posts, she refuses to go to court. Clerk at the court made it clear that a judge would only rule in my favor if, there was abuse or if there was a flight risk. The flight risk is a definite possibility as he is a US citizen and he has threatened this in the past She said if I continued and filed papers anyway, if the judge was not convinced that, I needed emergency custody order, I would have to pay all costs. A message left on my phone from lawyers office when I returned home stated that my ex would return boys tonight with the stipulation they were to be picked up at the police station at 8 o'clock
 
Get your babies, and file the papers with the court. There is a flight risk, he kept the children past the agreement and refused to return them, causing upset, confusion & turmoil.
It's one thing to ensure the children have a chance to be with each parent, but when the other breaks what's been agreed & followed after this length of time, then it's time to take it seriously.
You need to request that he not be allowed to remove the children from the province without your prior written consent, if they do not already have them, make sure you also cover the passport issue. Also, you must request that the court clearly state that the police can enforce the custody order, thus if he attempts to pull the stunt again, you can involve the police.
You are primary, that has been established & the children are with you the majority of the time, look to having the order clearly state his visitation, but you will need to be child oriented and consider holiday & summer time access as well. Also, make sure that the order will cover future access for when the children will be in school and what may or may not work best for them.
Take it to court, you need to for the best of the children after this.
Good luck to you, and all the best.


EDIT: As to the costs, if need be request your own costs to be paid as well, your reasoning of course would be that you previously have an agreement, although not court ordered, that has been working fine for the children for X period of time, but due to this recent incident, you felt that for the best of the children, an emergency order was required.
 
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Prior to any orders my ex took the children for a weekend as usual and refused to return them on the date/time agreed.
He telephoned me to tell me that he was not bringing them back that some how he figured because there was no formal order in place that he had just as much right to the children.

I (I had a lawyer on my side) called my lawyer at her home, she met me at the police station with an emergency order that she managed to get from a judge (took her almost a day and half to get), and the police started the search for the kids to return them to me.

The children were found with him in a friend's home up north. The Police took custody of the children but I had to arrange transportation to go and get them. Which I gladly did, at that point I would have walked to get them back.
Get an emergency exparte order.

You can get help from the courts for this, and it will be a quick appearance in front of a judge between other cases. The order is to include police enforcement to allow the police to become involved to get them back ASAP
 
I did get the boys back last night on his terms(for the last time) at the police station no less. However as stated before my lawyer has basically fired me because I requested an emergency court order, wants to continue Mediation. Yet when I first saw her and gave her a retainer(borrowed from family) she told me if my ex would not be reasonable she would immediately go to court. I will have to cut my losses and run. I believe I will now qualify for Legal Aid, I am going now to speak FLIC at court house and see what I need to do to get some kind of motion for emergency custody started. Thanks for the help, comforting to know you are not so alone
 
I have been following your post since beginning. There is something missing in your story. His lawyer would have strongly advised against withholding the children and your lawyer would have not fired you if he was allegedly kidnapping your kids...He took the child to shcool and you were there. And finally, he did return the boys back. I don't see now where the flight risk was and where the kids were in danger. If, once in a while, he wants an extra day or two, I don't think that should be a problem if everything else is working out.

Try to work things with him outside the court - legal aid are not very friendly people and they don't just offer handouts. You will regret going to court eventually - take my word on this.
 
singledad99 said:
I have been following your post since beginning. There is something missing in your story. His lawyer would have strongly advised against withholding the children and your lawyer would have not fired you if he was allegedly kidnapping your kids...He took the child to shcool and you were there. And finally, he did return the boys back. I don't see now where the flight risk was and where the kids were in danger. If, once in a while, he wants an extra day or two, I don't think that should be a problem if everything else is working out.

Try to work things with him outside the court - legal aid are not very friendly people and they don't just offer handouts. You will regret going to court eventually - take my word on this.
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I would have thought the same that his lawyer would have advised him that it was not in his best interest. I have a copy of the fax his Lawyer sent mine and reads that his lawyer was actually condoning this. That fact that my ex has blatantly lied to his lawyer about his access. making out that he was not getting regular access with the kid’s. This is simply not true,( all documented) since he left he has had the boys every other weekend and every Friday through Sunday also Wed nights weekly. Including a trip to the US (he is a US citizen) that I was making for a competition that my daughter was involved in. He picked the kid’s up in Erie Sat continued on to Ohio and they spent the whole weekend with his parents, I picked them up in Ohio on the Monday. But he lied to his lawyer , told him it was his access weekend and he did not have them. I do have proof. So yes the truth is missing, this guy so far has held on to 4 different communication books refuses to return kid’s on time at drop of set time was 7, 1 hr before bedtime but will show up 1-2 hrs late. Flight risk, you tell me when every other pick up he threatens to go to the states. So far it has only been a threat, but each time I spend the weekend wondering, he won’t let the 7 yr old call. Not to mention there are 2 step children that he has acted as father to for 9 years, he now ignores them. These actions speak volumes. I don’t want to live in fear that he may make good his threats. Same fax from his lawyer stated he would not bring them back to the house , I needed to pick them up at the police station. I have no car he has it, this police station is 15 miles away. Originally at 4 the changed it to 8. I agree about Legal Aid but I am between a rock and a hard place.
 
purpleheather I am sorry to hear about your issues with your ex......I definately see a flight risk here.......as LV advise a status quo precident here.....you really dont need a lawyer to get your babies and keep them....do it yourself...you seem to be child focused and with that you dont need to have a lawyer do for you what you can do for yourself......go to the courthouse, use services at FLIC and definately use the advice on here......I went through custody battle with ex and was self represented and he had a lawyer and I now have sole custody of my child.......dont engage in argumentative ways with him just smile.......do your communicating with him in writing.......with the worry of flight risk I would be seeking emergency order from court that he can have visitation with supervision only.....you can also advise the border crossing of possible flight risk.....give them his name, address and plate number......it will be forwarded to all border crossings (by land or air) and then he has no way of taking them over the border and into the abyss......as far as your lawyer not wanting to go to court that is not their call......if you feel mediation will not work then dont go......very simple.....I declined mediation and the judge didnt seem to flinch at that......there was no mediating in my case......I showed up in front of the judge and he was there the first time with his lawyer and then at the final hearing he didnt even show up which didnt help his case..he sent his lawyer only.......he knew he didnt have a case against me so I guess he just gave in to inevitable......hope this helps....self representation is time consuming and stressful but whatever you do do not stoop to his level and do everything in writing and keep a diary of things that happen.........and yes I would say the same thing if this was a dad trying to get custody of their children.......keep the focus of your children and their future and stability and it will all work out in the end.......
 
Does any one know if I can APPLY FOR CUSTODY UNDER THE CHILDREN'S LAW REFORM ACT? As this is not under the divorce act where and how can I get an application form.
 
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