Not sure your getting the point. We are not thinking of going to court at all we pay everything the son needs the mother pays nothing! NOTHING! Yet she threatens to take us to court everytime she has a tantrum. She has emailed us saying she is monitoring our financials as well as pictures and interviews being collected on our family. Or threatens to call CRA. She is every which way crazy. She is harassing constantly and interfering with my husband and his sons relationship. At 19 he is not a child. As for paying residence we have RESP for that and his mother wouldnt be benefitting from her SON living in her house or have any reason to contact my husband. The day the son moves to residence will be a welcome change.
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Harrassing and Bad behaviour
- Thread starter thebtr1
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Not sure your getting the point. We are not thinking of going to court at all we pay everything the son needs the mother pays nothing! NOTHING! Yet she threatens to take us to court everytime she has a tantrum. She has emailed us saying she is monitoring our financials as well as pictures and interviews being collected on our family. Or threatens to call CRA. She is every which way crazy. She is harassing constantly and interfering with my husband and his sons relationship. At 19 he is not a child. As for paying residence we have RESP for that and his mother wouldnt be benefitting from her SON living in her house or have any reason to contact my husband. The day the son moves to residence will be a welcome change.
Berner_Faith
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I tend to agree with Moonlight...because the son is living with Mom, Dad should technically be paying full CS and his share of post secondary. You really need to figure out the math in it all. Until you figure out the math or provide figured (Dad's income and any section 7 expenses), there is little advice that can be offered.
$350 a month is what someone with an annual salary around $40,000 would pay...if hubby's income is higher than that, consider yourself lucky. For section 7, they are paid according to income, if Hubby's income is substantially higher than Mom's, he would still have to pay the majority of the bills...
Cost vs outcome...
$350 a month is what someone with an annual salary around $40,000 would pay...if hubby's income is higher than that, consider yourself lucky. For section 7, they are paid according to income, if Hubby's income is substantially higher than Mom's, he would still have to pay the majority of the bills...
Cost vs outcome...
I do exactly but I do beleive you have to come down to reality.
You say that you have RESP - that covers S7 expenses for son, that is why you got it in the first place.
Son living with Mother - She is entitle to go after father for CS - so basically the rent. I bet you if you look at the guideline, it would be a lot higher than the rent.
Basically - to be direct -- you are complaining for nothing, do not put water over the fire.
Son could take living with you and went living with MOM, stop complaining about the ordeal of rent as basically, you would pay more if you were to pay CS. If you guys are not happy, why don't you just pay him an appartment, that would solve everything.
You may not want to go to court but she could easily do for CS without a problem. That is my point and that would cost you a lot more.
As for her harassment, if you keep cool and ignore it, she will get tire of it and eventually stop.
You say that you have RESP - that covers S7 expenses for son, that is why you got it in the first place.
Son living with Mother - She is entitle to go after father for CS - so basically the rent. I bet you if you look at the guideline, it would be a lot higher than the rent.
Basically - to be direct -- you are complaining for nothing, do not put water over the fire.
Son could take living with you and went living with MOM, stop complaining about the ordeal of rent as basically, you would pay more if you were to pay CS. If you guys are not happy, why don't you just pay him an appartment, that would solve everything.
You may not want to go to court but she could easily do for CS without a problem. That is my point and that would cost you a lot more.
As for her harassment, if you keep cool and ignore it, she will get tire of it and eventually stop.
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atlanticcanadian
New member
Ignore it
Ignore it
I agree with Moonlight or ask her to take you into Court for change of Child Support. There is a material change in that the son is now going to school.
When I get harassing or demonstrate bad behaviour, my ex just sends it off to his lawyer andI look like a total idiot. You could probably do that as well or get a lawyer to send a strongly worded letter stating that they are now dealing with the issue and she is to have no further communication with you or your ex husband.
However, with child support coming to an end and if she put her own career on hold, she may try coming after your ex for spousal support - just a thought.
Ignore it
I agree with Moonlight or ask her to take you into Court for change of Child Support. There is a material change in that the son is now going to school.
When I get harassing or demonstrate bad behaviour, my ex just sends it off to his lawyer andI look like a total idiot. You could probably do that as well or get a lawyer to send a strongly worded letter stating that they are now dealing with the issue and she is to have no further communication with you or your ex husband.
However, with child support coming to an end and if she put her own career on hold, she may try coming after your ex for spousal support - just a thought.
I do exactly but I do beleive you have to come down to reality.
You say that you have RESP - that covers S7 expenses for son, that is why you got it in the first place.
Son living with Mother - She is entitle to go after father for CS - so basically the rent. I bet you if you look at the guideline, it would be a lot higher than the rent.
Basically - to be direct -- you are complaining for nothing, do not put water over the fire.
Son could take living with you and went living with MOM, stop complaining about the ordeal of rent as basically, you would pay more if you were to pay CS. If you guys are not happy, why don't you just pay him an appartment, that would solve everything.
You may not want to go to court but she could easily do for CS without a problem. That is my point and that would cost you a lot more.
As for her harassment, if you keep cool and ignore it, she will get tire of it and eventually stop.
Dad pays all post secondary. Dad pays for the sons groceries. THE MOTHER PAYS FOR NOTHING!! She never paid anything even when the son was living solely with his father. My husbands annual salary is around $50,000 the mother hasent filed a tax return in 3 years but is in real estate so I will give her a $30000 income which is reasonable.
Husband paid $8000 in tutition so far several hundred in books he buys groceries every week and clothes when he needs them. He pays for the cell phone bill dental every 6 months and eye glasses. On top of all that he pays her rent! And you think shes entitled to it? If she did take us to court I was curious what she could possibly get. From what I see what she would get is she would end up having to pay half of childs expenses and we would just have to pay half and rent.
As for not responding to the harassment we havent replied in 8 months and it has just gotten worse.
If she files for taxes for the last 3 years and claims the son I want to be sure my husband isnt going to be penalized. And as for this years taxes he will claim the tuition and books.
Berner_Faith
New member
We get that she has paid NOTHING... but that is at the fault of your husband for paying EVERYTHING and NOT making her contribute. With a $50K salary, he should be paying her $450 a month in CS... if he made an agreement with HIS son to provide him a credit card for HIS personal use that has nothing to do with Mom, or you for that matter.
If this went to court, it would be expected that hubby pays full CS in the amount of $450 per month, plus about 63% of post secondary expenses (50K+30K= $50K, so hubby's income at 50K would be 63%), plus you have to factor in what it would cost if this did go to court and how this would impact the relationship with his son.
Personally, at 19 there is NO reason the son does not have a job to help with his school and clothing/personal costs.
I truly feel you are making a mountain out of a mole hill... currently hubby is under paying CS, but over paying section 7. Hubby can simply respond that if she would like an increase in the "rent" (CS), she will have to contribute her share of post secondary costs.
If this went to court, it would be expected that hubby pays full CS in the amount of $450 per month, plus about 63% of post secondary expenses (50K+30K= $50K, so hubby's income at 50K would be 63%), plus you have to factor in what it would cost if this did go to court and how this would impact the relationship with his son.
Personally, at 19 there is NO reason the son does not have a job to help with his school and clothing/personal costs.
I truly feel you are making a mountain out of a mole hill... currently hubby is under paying CS, but over paying section 7. Hubby can simply respond that if she would like an increase in the "rent" (CS), she will have to contribute her share of post secondary costs.
I agree with Moonlight or ask her to take you into Court for change of Child Support. There is a material change in that the son is now going to school.
When I get harassing or demonstrate bad behaviour, my ex just sends it off to his lawyer andI look like a total idiot. You could probably do that as well or get a lawyer to send a strongly worded letter stating that they are now dealing with the issue and she is to have no further communication with you or your ex husband.
However, with child support coming to an end and if she put her own career on hold, she may try coming after your ex for spousal support - just a thought.
They have been divorced for 10 years. She got 1/2 the house and a settlement in lieu of SS she is not entitled to it.
You are too emotionally involved to see it clear.
Be carefull of not putting this child in the middle, at 19 with 10 years of divorce parent, he must be fed up of all this.
Your hubby decide to pay for all son expenses prior he even went to live with MOM.
So what the heck is the problem, paying her rent of residence, what is the difference? At least someone is benefiting. Why create a war where there is no reason for it.
Be carefull of not putting this child in the middle, at 19 with 10 years of divorce parent, he must be fed up of all this.
Your hubby decide to pay for all son expenses prior he even went to live with MOM.
So what the heck is the problem, paying her rent of residence, what is the difference? At least someone is benefiting. Why create a war where there is no reason for it.
Berner_Faith
New member
That is what I am not understanding as well Moonlight... Dad was okay for paying everything for son, until he moved in with mom? He is paying Mom rent (CS), instead of paying rent to another landlord or for residence... why the big deal now? If Dad has been okay all along, why all the sudden does he want to renege on the agreement he had with son, just because he is living with mom?
That is what I am not understanding as well Moonlight... Dad was okay for paying everything for son, until he moved in with mom? He is paying Mom rent (CS), instead of paying rent to another landlord or for residence... why the big deal now? If Dad has been okay all along, why all the sudden does he want to renege on the agreement he had with son, just because he is living with mom?
I never said he wanted to stop paying. The difference is he pays and has always paid and now she is harrassing and threatening and demanding more because he is with me and happy. She will not stop. She has been sent cease and desist letter we have not replied to her in 8 months. She continues to threaten litigation and harass incessantly. If it went to litigation I was only asking what could she possibly get. And if it went to litigation my husband would then only pay what he has to and make her see how good it was before.
Its not at all about shirking responsibility. My husband has went above and beyond for 10 years. And yet every time we turn around she demands more. At what point do we say enough is enough?
I was also wondering what are we required to tell her? The info she is asking for such as tax information, life insurance, will info and whether I have a life estate in our property isnt info we should have to disclose correct?
I never said he wanted to stop paying. The difference is he pays and has always paid and now she is harrassing and threatening and demanding more because he is with me and happy. She will not stop. She has been sent cease and desist letter we have not replied to her in 8 months. She continues to threaten litigation and harass incessantly. If it went to litigation I was only asking what could she possibly get. And if it went to litigation my husband would then only pay what he has to and make her see how good it was before.
Its not at all about shirking responsibility. My husband has went above and beyond for 10 years. And yet every time we turn around she demands more. At what point do we say enough is enough?
I was also wondering what are we required to tell her? The info she is asking for such as tax information, life insurance, will info and whether I have a life estate in our property isnt info we should have to disclose correct?
Actually tax info she might be entitled to since CS is still an issue. Even if she wants to know if the son has been claimed by your husband, that is relevant. All other stuff like life insurance, etc., unless you have a court order that mentions any of the above, she has no business with that info.
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