Happy Mother's Day!

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bought my soon to be ex a mother's day gift of 2 dozen chocolate covered strawberrires (they make them look like long stem roses) no matter what happens in the future she is still the mother of my daughters. long story short she text messages me ... "thanks for the strawberries" !!! she totally missed that this is a gift for mother's day. talk about frigid!!!

JEC
 
lol, I see your point, I guess what I expected was a thank you for celebrating the reason for the gift instead of thank you for what the gift was. I could get chocolate covered strawberries any old time, for no reason at all, but when it reflects or marks or acknowledges a special time or day, i thought she would make the connection as she did when better relationship times. I suppose I should recognize divorce changes everything.

if anyone here is in the Niagara Region and would like to sit and chat I sure could use the support.

JEC
 
JEC said:
bought my soon to be ex a mother's day gift of 2 dozen chocolate covered strawberrires (they make them look like long stem roses) no matter what happens in the future she is still the mother of my daughters. long story short she text messages me ... "thanks for the strawberries" !!! she totally missed that this is a gift for mother's day. talk about frigid!!!

JEC
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That was a nice gester but chocolate covered strawberries to me are just too sexy.... maybe that threw her off. Maybe just a nice bunch of roses would have gotten you a different response.

Glad you were able to do this for her (even though maybe she didn't deserve it?)

I sent a text to ex for his birthday wishing him a good day from ex and child and he responded thanks for the wishes, but on my birthday I got nothing.....
I think I did hold my breathe thinking maybe just maybe something

Where about's in the falls?
 
It's Friiiday night, I though yu were jus drunkle

You can only edit for like 10 minutes or something silly like that.
 
Ohhhhh.....I guess I always noticed it faster. And yes, it's friday night and I'm not drunked, thought I'd try out the other side for a change :p
 
yup, first year, actually only seperated since a week before what would have been our 25th anniversary (February 14). i agreed to have the seperation agreement backdated to March 2009 so she could start the divorce papers.

some days are still very hard to get through, she is doing her best to keep the kids from me.

JEC
 
Sorry to hear that. I think the first year is definately the hardest when neither person knows what they're supposed to do with or for the other or what to expect from the other. As long as you always do what's right for the kids you're doing the right thing - including respecting the other person both as a person and as a parent.
 
i'm pretty sure my ex knows what she wants to do, she has no problem dating already and going away on weekends with the lawyer that was supposed to be representing us both as we are all (were) friends. This same lawyer was redoing my last will and emailed me as an attachement along with court documents for approval, it appears all these documents were CCed to my ex, yes including my will. As you can imagine, I have a real problem with this. This lawyer is also a notary public ... are they not supposed to be "trusted in the community"?

JEC
 
FYI to JEC: agreeing with your ex to backdate your separation date for the purpose of speeding up the proceedings is called "collusion" and under the Divorce Act, collusion is an absolute bar to divorce. It's a damn good thing these boards are basically anonymous! Sheesh, if it seems sneaky, it's probally illegal LOL!

Oh, and just wanted to say, 25 years and she STILL gets chocolate covered strawberries??? Man, I don't know where I have gone wrong all this time!!!
 
the back dating was done on the advice (or conspiracy) from my ex and her lawyer friend. hmmmm maybe I will have to revisit this now that I have my own representation.

I will put this offer out again, if any of the ladies are in the Niagara area, that are interested in hearing and being heard I could really use a female's perspective.

JEC
 
Wow, I really think you should step it up and report her lawyer to the society.
Lawyers are not suppose to do what this smuck seems to be and getting away with it and your money......
Im a lady, or at least most of the time..... what's up?
 
how long does it take to start trusting someone to share the rest of my life with?

does this fear of this happening again every really go away?

is it worth believing I will one day have a better relationship than I had?

I lead a simple life, work 50 hours a week, family has an island in the Parry Sound area, own a town house, I believe in marriage and all of it's joys and challenges. thought my ex did, actually believed she did, that is untill she got her inheritance 5 years ago ... $$$ changes people, sometimes not for the better.

JEC
 
I don't know what to tell you about trusting in someone again. Im not aware of my ex if he cheated on me or not but I will trust he didn't.
I think that it's going to be hard... Im into this process of divorce 1 year later and still having some ups and downs.
We should possibly start a new thread as this one is a happy mother's day one
 
I'm not a lady, but sometimes I am a gentleman.

It's not about trusting a new female friend. It is about trusting yourself, trusting in your own judgement. The only reason you will question someone else's honesty is if you've been snookered.

This lawyer that is trying to represent you both, and is copying your confidential legal emails to your wife, this is a breach of trust. But you at some point decided you could trust them, and now you find your instincts were wrong.

You sound like you trusted your wife and believed in your marriage, and your instincts were wrong there. So now you are beating yourself up because you got fooled and as you look around you, it isn't all the people you see that you can't trust anymore. What you can't trust is your own feelings and senses and instincts.

I've been there too. Here is the reality, we aren't perfect. You will go through life and make mistakes and miss seeing things, sometimes things that are obvious to everyone else. You will have faith, because faith is a natural human need, but you find that your faith is often misplaced. You will go through life and have the rug pulled out from under you. It will happen, time and again.

The defence is not to never trust, because if you choose that then you are damaging your life in countless other ways. You must trust and give people a chance to show you what they are made of. In some cases, that means giving them enough rope to hang themselves. That is still trust.

The defence is to keep a part of your life and your heart for yourself. Have your own time, your own friends, your own activities, your own savings and your own space. This isn't just a physical protection, it is an emotional one, because you aren't so completely invested in these people you trust. You have time and space to yourself so you can shake your head and see them clearly. You can have fresh perspective. And if things go wrong, there are parts of your life that are unaffected and you can retreat to those and bounce back that much quicker and easier.
 
for anyone that has taken a personality dimension course, I am a green (really really green) then orange, blue barely registers on my chart. that carries over into my 25 year marriage, I worked very hard at a phyisical job and basically deteriorated my body into no longer being able to do the job, and the very good pay that came with it. WSIB retrained me and I have since been working full time, at a much reduced wage, but still with the house and cars paid for I thought there were no money issues, specially since my wife received a large inheritance. In the 25 years of marriage I went to the bank less than 5 times, no need to, I believed the wife had everything under control. Since I am low on the totem pole I spend a lot of extra hours at work and failed to notice my wife not slowing down her spending. I was lead to believe the house renovations were being paid for by her inheritance. I now find out she ran up a large line of credit, and kept a great deal of money (which she is entitled to as it is her inheritance) but ran the family into financial ruin. She did tell me she was planning to leave me in 2006 which was when I found out that I could not return to my previous employment. I now have limited use of my arms and hands, and being that I have a green personalty I am finding more and more financial and relationship deceit over the years by her.

sorry for hijacking the thread ...

JEC
 
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