For those who believe court favours men...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Epona

Epona

New member
For those who believe court favours women (not men as it says in the title), it doesn't always.
I, unemployed, have been ordered to pay my ex $2,500 in court costs for starting a motion to change child support amount. Oh yes, the Judge increased child support payments, but I won't see $2,500 of it.
Please tell me how I'll feed 2 children on $0. Medicine isn't free, nor are dental bills, yet I'm expected to raise two children on nothing for over two and a half months.
They kept making offers saying I had agreed to items that I hadn't. Their lies worked with the Judge. The Judge advised me to see duty counsel. What can duty counsel do after the Judge made an endorsement? I cry, not for me, but for my kids.
I thought it was a "Settlement Hearing" and it was a trial!
Justice doesn't always have the children's best interests first and foremost, that's for certain.
 
Epona said:
For those who believe court favours women (not men as it says in the title), it doesn't always.
I, unemployed, have been ordered to pay my ex $2,500 in court costs for starting a motion to change child support amount. Oh yes, the Judge increased child support payments, but I won't see $2,500 of it.
Please tell me how I'll feed 2 children on $0. Medicine isn't free, nor are dental bills, yet I'm expected to raise two children on nothing for over two and a half months.
They kept making offers saying I had agreed to items that I hadn't. Their lies worked with the Judge. The Judge advised me to see duty counsel. What can duty counsel do after the Judge made an endorsement? I cry, not for me, but for my kids.
I thought it was a "Settlement Hearing" and it was a trial!
Justice doesn't always have the children's best interests first and foremost, that's for certain.
Click to expand...

So you can not get a job? If you were awarded CS but costs against you, my thinking is you were offered a settlement of CS and Custody and you turned it down, then at trail, you did not gain anymore that what was on the table, so costs were ordered against you. My guess is that you will get CS, and what I am saying is really only speculation not knowing your whole story. You wouldn't have to agree to the offers, I just think you would have to of have significant gains, which it appears you did not. So the Judge is sort of saying to you, you should of settled????
 
Never should have gone to court...

Never should have gone to court...

My ex decided last year (summer 2009) to stop paying his share of S.7 expenses until a certain amount had been exceeded (it's my theory he wanted me to pay his legal fees, one way or another, from a previous court case that he initiated ). What HE should have done is arranged mediation and then filed a motion to change if we couldn't come to an agreement since he is the one who wanted the change.
Instead he ignored me and left it to me to try a get payment (S.7 expenses, asthma medicine and dental bills). Acting on the advice of FLIC, I filed with FRO. Course FRO collects child support based on the agreement filed with court, which is about $350 less than what he was paying. I gave him a "Withdrawal from FRO" form, but the never faxed it to FRO. I wrote to FRO advising them not to accept a form withdrawing when it became evident he wasn't going to send it in and was not responding to me. I gave him a "Consent Motion to Change Child Support" and when I didn't hear from him for over a month, filed a Motion to Change. That's when the proverbial s**t hit the fan.
In his response, I found out he's was then unemployed (why couldn't he have advised me?). He and his lawyer made an offer and I made a counter offer. We tried mediation and I believed we had an agreement, BUT in their second "Offer To Settle", they changed the terms of the "Mediation Agreement" substantially. At that point I considered it nullified. Before he signed the second Offer to Settle he had signed an Employment Contract, which was not mentioned on the 2nd "Offer to Settle".
With all these Offers To Settle, I have to accept it all or none. They refused to communicate with me when I wrote letters explaining what I agreed to and didn't agree to. They refer to a second mediation, which didn't happen. If it did, I wasn't invited which is why I didn't respond.
It was thoroughly 100% a lack of communication. My ex wins. The kids lose. I don't get child support to shelter, feed, clothe them etc. for 2 1/2 months. I don't qualify for social assistance, and yes, I'm unemployed. I'm trying to get employment but it isn't easy.
I wanted to have the child support amount changed for FRO, but because he was unemployed for a bit, his share of S.7 expenses changed which lowered the arrears of S.7 expenses I was seeking. But because they kept making "Offers to Settle" that included things I never agreed to and I had to agree to it all or none at all and they wouldn't negotiate an agreement we all could be comfortable with...and the Judge believed the untrue things they said about me and I didn't really have a chance to have my say...
If you can afford it, it's good to have a lawyer who'll believe your lies and they can bully you all they like and leave the other person with nothing, which is especially difficult to raise two children on. Family Law doesn't give a ..... about the children. They can live off nothing.
 
Am I understanding it correctly that you are out 2.5 mths of CS that should have been $350/mth higher, in other words about $875?

Can you please clarify how much exactly you have not received in CS due to this incident?

Has an income been imputed to you for CS purposes?
 
For those who believe court favours women (not men as it says in the title), it doesn't always.
Click to expand...

Does MOST of the time though. Somewhere around 80%. How much of the time do you have your kids?

Please tell me how I'll feed 2 children on $0. Medicine isn't free, nor are dental bills, yet I'm expected to raise two children on nothing for over two and a half months.
Click to expand...

So you work out a payment plan. If you are unemployed, your income is effectively 0. Blood/Stone, etc. Where do you get that you have NOTHING to raise them on? Go to Income Assistance.

They kept making offers saying I had agreed to items that I hadn't. Their lies worked with the Judge. The Judge advised me to see duty counsel. What can duty counsel do after the Judge made an endorsement?
Click to expand...

To help you figure out how to fix it? If you are unemployed, contact Legal Aid, you should qualify for assistance.

I thought it was a "Settlement Hearing" and it was a trial!
Click to expand...

Sorry, but Settlement + Hearing kind of screams "stuff will be decided here".

Justice doesn't always have the children's best interests first and foremost, that's for certain.
Click to expand...

If you are the Custodial Parent, Welfare CANNOT turn you away. Plus you should be receiving CCTB for them at a minimum. Or you should be eligible for unemployment in under 6-8 weeks. Income Assistance WILL help you during that gap if you need them to, with the understanding you will pay them back once your EI kicks in. EI Is stupid easy to get, as long as you weren't fired for cause or quit.

If you don't have the funding to pay the court costs right away, it becomes just one more bill. It gets paid to your ex's lawyer, not to the ex.
 
my couch potatoe is going to cost me

my couch potatoe is going to cost me

my executive husband lost his job 10 years ago.our lifestyle was great. At that time I was raising 3 young children and running a household.I figured I better get back into the working world. so I started my own company got a job at the hospital, raised my children and all the duties that came with it. He laid on the couch watching 20 year old reruns of murder she wrote.he did not help with any household chores nor cooking.10 years later I picked up another full time job working 16 hour days since there is no money comming in. he started his own consult company claimimg incomes of 10.000. i finally decided to end my lonely marriage after 21 years in january 2010. He is taking me to litigation with his downtown lawyer.He has turned two of my three children against me.and wants sole possesion of our 800.000 home.
Im sick that I will have to pay child support to him, I continue to provide for my children. I want the judge to know how useless of a partner he has been. I have just reduced one of my jobs to part time. but in the end i will be penalized for trying to survive.
 
My dead beat husband in marriage wants my hard earned money. while he sat watching tv, I managed it all.I hope in my case the judge will not favour him
 
he is an educated 56 year old man, took jobs at other companies blames me for them falling apart. wanted to consult on his own so thats what he does now.he rented an office but gave that up since he figured our basement has a finished office space so he moved home i hated that. i begged him to stay connected with head hunters , but he always wanted his own company so i struggled for 8-10 years with no income from him,
 
why do you say that. his lawyer is taking me to litigastion on dec 10 it will be my first court date, im scared what can i expect
 
Ruby, please start your own thread. I am confused trying to figure out what has happened to Epona and your story is getting in the way.
 
I do not qualify for assistance...

I do not qualify for assistance...

I do not collect EI. It's been many years since I was employed. I do not qualify for Social Assistance (welfare). I have applied a couple of times and been turned away. I have sole custody of two children. I do not qualify for Legal Aid.
An endorsement was made. Child support was increased based on the income he anticipates earning. The $2,500 court costs will be deducted from child support.
I am defeated and am not "up to" attempting to correct a wrong, because I'll probably just lose again and that will also be deducted from child support. After my hard-learned lesson yesterday, I won't be initiating court action anymore. My ex has the law on his side with the Judge we had assigned. I'm not ready to take another gamble (don't think I ever will), but I'll defend myself when he takes court action against me again.
 
I do not collect EI. It's been many years since I was employed.
Click to expand...

Are you disabled? If you are capable of working you have a legal obligation to help support the children. Why are you not working?

I do not qualify for Social Assistance (welfare). I have applied a couple of times and been turned away.
Click to expand...

Then you have sufficient income on paper to support the children. If you have NO savings and NO other sources of income, then welfare cannot turn you away.

I do not qualify for Legal Aid.
Click to expand...

Then you must make more than equivalent to minimum wage full time hours on paper.

I am defeated and am not "up to" attempting to correct a wrong
Click to expand...

If you are capable of working, and are not, then it's not a wrong. You need to be contributing too.
 
I have applied...

I have applied...

for hundreds of jobs (probably more than a thousand) in the past number of years, been granted some interviews but not been offered a position. I have no desire to be unemployed. There are some things I cannot do due to a spinal injury (i.e anything that involves heavy lifting or standing in one place for long times), but for the most part I can work at almost anything. Nobody wants to hire a middle-aged woman who has been out of the work-force more than a few years. Nobody that I've encountered so far.
I'm not a lazy person avoiding work if that's what you're alluding to.
 
So take some upgrading. Check out whether you can file for student loans. See what programs are offered via Income Assistance or EI.

Point is, if you aren't working, and haven't been working for several YEARS, then he's right in fighting you. You SHOULD be working. There are always jobs out there (even min. wage). Not saying you should stay at min. wage, but it's a start, and gives you a leg up until you can find something else.
 
Epona said:
Nobody wants to hire a middle-aged woman who has been out of the work-force more than a few years. Nobody that I've encountered so far.
Click to expand...

Then change what you are giving potential empolyers. If you have spent years looking and applied to over a thousand jobs - where do you think the problem is? You!!!

Call one of the government aided re-training centres (don't know if 2nd career is in all prov. or just Ont.) Get some skills that are employable. Since you are online researching how to get CS from dad, also research what professions are in need of employees right now. Pick something that you can do with your medical restrictions and immediately take courses in that field.

Your child is counting on you - not just for a better standard of living that your employment $$$ would give them - MOST IMPORTANT - an example of what a responsible, capable adult does.
 
lumpy said:
Then change what you are giving potential empolyers. If you have spent years looking and applied to over a thousand jobs - where do you think the problem is? You!!!
Click to expand...

Sorry, but I agree. Thousands of applications and years looking? You should have hauled out the mirror after dozens of applications, let alone thousands.
 
I agree as well. There are many re-training programs out there, and it is against the law for an employer to not hire you based on a disability. Show some initiative!
 
I had to do telephone soliciting.....worst low point of my life. I was pregnant and worked split shifts.....9-1 then 4-9. You think middle age is a hard demographic....try 6 months pregnant.
I lived 20 minutes away and couldn't afford the gas, so I crashed at a friends house in the afternoon before I went back to work. All for 9.00 hr.
It was hell. It bought my oldest son food. So I did it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top