SadAndTired's story reminds of the joke about the guy who dies and goes to heaven. He sees a bunch of angels hanging around and fluttering their wings and playing harps, and one fellow off in the corner wearing a white labcoat and a stethoscope and yelling at the angels for singing off-key. The newly dead fellow asks the nearest angel, "what's with the cranky dude? I thought this was heaven". The angel replies, 'Oh, that's just God. Sometimes he likes to dress up and pretend he's a doctor. We humor him because it makes him feel important".
For those taking another kick at the cat
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DowntroddenDad
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Well educated - to be honest somewhat subjective
I went to university, and I might suggest some of my peers in engineering might not be considered to be well educated in everything.Good sense of humour. Very very subjective. I know women who state they have one, but they hate Monty Python! Or don't get Seinfeld!
Gourmand - I think this is highly subjective. Its a spectrum not a yes/no checkbox. I certainly enjoy a wide range of foods and actively seek out new food experiences, as well as have a discerning pallate
Low Handicap Golfer.....well I am an enthusiastic but terrible golfer.
Good single malt, absolutely, but we may differ on what makes a good single malt. Personally I think Laphroag tastes like turpentine. Other people love it.
I think checkboxes are moderately usefull....
DowntroddenDad
New member
I've had a couple of failed relationships since separation, so I can provide some insight. And I would like to think I've learned a couple of things.
One, ignore people who makes decisions based on arbitary checklists
so sorry oink.....
I wouldn't date a smoker. I sing, and my voice can be affected by being near someone who smokes. Plus the smell permeates the smokers hair and clothes.
I have some close friends who are vegetarian, and I respect them and their choices. But I couldn't live with one if they had issues with me eating meat in the same house.
I'd look less for someone that matches a set of check boxes and more for someone who is smart, funny, capable of being independant or working together as a partner. I'm willing to compromise, they should be too. Someone who shares a few common interests would be good. Clearly there has to be attraction on a number of levels.
My current relationship, is going slowly, and that is just fine. We are taking our time to be really sure. When there are kids involved, no need to rush.
One, ignore people who makes decisions based on arbitary checklists
so sorry oink.....I wouldn't date a smoker. I sing, and my voice can be affected by being near someone who smokes. Plus the smell permeates the smokers hair and clothes.
I have some close friends who are vegetarian, and I respect them and their choices. But I couldn't live with one if they had issues with me eating meat in the same house.
I'd look less for someone that matches a set of check boxes and more for someone who is smart, funny, capable of being independant or working together as a partner. I'm willing to compromise, they should be too. Someone who shares a few common interests would be good. Clearly there has to be attraction on a number of levels.
My current relationship, is going slowly, and that is just fine. We are taking our time to be really sure. When there are kids involved, no need to rush.
Alright. Here's my list. If I ever have an accident and suffer amnesia (thus forgetting that i swore i would never do this again)I may need it:
A man who...
1. Does not kick cats!
2. Has a gentle personality. No bad/short temper.
3. Does not drink alcohol or use drugs. Doesn't smoke.
4. Preferably does not have children from another marriage, or if he does, gets along famously with his X.
5. Has not been recently divorced or separated (good thing this isn't a dating site, eh?).
6. Is mature, but funny.
7. Active and in good shape.
8. Has a good, secure job that he loves.
9. Strong Christian faith.
10. (Is this the part where I put "extremely wealthy AND on life-support"?!)
Lol.
A man who...
1. Does not kick cats!
2. Has a gentle personality. No bad/short temper.
3. Does not drink alcohol or use drugs. Doesn't smoke.
4. Preferably does not have children from another marriage, or if he does, gets along famously with his X.
5. Has not been recently divorced or separated (good thing this isn't a dating site, eh?).
6. Is mature, but funny.
7. Active and in good shape.
8. Has a good, secure job that he loves.
9. Strong Christian faith.
10. (Is this the part where I put "extremely wealthy AND on life-support"?!)
Lol.
Well educated - to be honest somewhat subjective
Good sense of humour. Very very subjective. I know women who state they have one, but they hate Monty Python! Or don't get Seinfeld!
Gourmand - I think this is highly subjective. Its a spectrum not a yes/no checkbox. I certainly enjoy a wide range of foods and actively seek out new food experiences, as well as have a discerning pallate
Low Handicap Golfer.....well I am an enthusiastic but terrible golfer.
Good single malt, absolutely, but we may differ on what makes a good single malt. Personally I think Laphroag tastes like turpentine. Other people love it.
I think checkboxes are moderately usefull....
Hmmmm...Speaking as one of those "engineering types", I couldn't help but notice what you said there about being a Golfer, sure you meant Enthusiast?
DowntroddenDad
New member
OK, seriously folks....
If you have kids, and you want someone who loves kids, don't expect to find many people who love kids and don't have any of their own.
I do know a woman who can't have kids and tried for years, but she would be the exception and somewhat rare. More common would be people who don't have kids, and don't want to know yours.
If you have kids, and you want someone who loves kids, don't expect to find many people who love kids and don't have any of their own.
I do know a woman who can't have kids and tried for years, but she would be the exception and somewhat rare. More common would be people who don't have kids, and don't want to know yours.
I've had a couple of failed relationships since separation, so I can provide some insight. And I would like to think I've learned a couple of things.
One, ignore people who makes decisions based on arbitary checklists
I wouldn't date a smoker. I sing, and my voice can be affected by being near someone who smokes. Plus the smell permeates the smokers hair and clothes.
I have some close friends who are vegetarian, and I respect them and their choices. But I couldn't live with one if they had issues with me eating meat in the same house.
I'd lofor someofunny, capable of being independant or working together as a partner. I'm willing to compromise, they should be too. Someone who shares a few common interests would be good.ne ok less that matches a set of check boxes and more for someone who is smart, Clearly there has to be attraction on a number of levels.
My current relationship, is going slowly, and that is just fine. We are taking our time to be really sure. When there are kids involved, no need to rush.
How is the stuff in Bold, different from what I mentioned in my OP? You are "willing to compromise", does that include on the smoking and being a vegetarian?
Of course when there are kids involved you shouldn't rush....no-brainer, unless you are thinking of your selfish only, or with with what is between your legs (both sexes)
Alright. Here's my list. If I ever have an accident and suffer amnesia (thus forgetting that i swore i would never do this again)I may need it:
A man who...
1. Does not kick cats!
2. Has a gentle personality. No bad/short temper.
3. Does not drink alcohol or use drugs. Doesn't smoke.
4. Preferably does not have children from another marriage, or if he does, gets along famously with his X.
5. Has not been recently divorced or separated (good thing this isn't a dating site, eh?).
6. Is mature, but funny.
7. Active and in good shape.
8. Has a good, secure job that he loves.
9. Strong Christian faith.
10. (Is this the part where I put "extremely wealthy AND on life-support"?!)
Lol.
Am guessing you meet all the stuff that you've listed above then? i.e. you are one fit broad (can walk 5km or run a half marathon), you earn a decent salary, don't drink / smoke, no kids, not high conflict?
If the answer to all that is yes......then where have you been all my life?
DowntroddenDad
New member
Well my point was that there are few things I would be very black and white on - smoking is definately one of them.
But with many things, I think we should be flexible. Oink if your dream girl, smart successful independant beautiful woman came along, would you give up on her for a cat? I can see that if you are allergic, but not if its that you just don't like cats.
I sing in a choir with some people who are mildly allergic to cats, and we rehearse in a house with a resident cat. They would rather be in this great choir and suffer a little allergy than be in a mediocre choir.
DowntroddenDad
New member
Am guessing you meet all the stuff that you've listed above then? i.e. you are one fit broad (can walk 5km or run a half marathon), you earn a decent salary, don't drink / smoke, no kids, not high conflict?
If the answer to all that is yes......then where have you been all my life?
She forgot to list.... 11. Doesn't call women broads.
slughead10
New member
get with the times we dont call them broads anymore there all hot bitchs......
HappyMomma
New member
So I AM taking a second kick. I have the most incredible partner. He's smart, fun, athletic, considerate, kind, responsible....I could go on and on. Find a list of positive attributes and he'd have them all. I kid you not.
I've posted this before but the one single most important thing that makes our relationship work is that I don't think he's amazing because I love him - I love him because he's amazing. For the first time I am in a relationship with someone I grew to love instead of someone I was infatuated with from the beginning.
This is the advice I will give my children in the future because I think it makes all the difference in the world. I 'loved' my ex and it tricked me into making excuses for his bad behaviour. It allowed me to forgive his faults and ignore the warning signs. I should have kicked him to the curb many times and I didn't.
It's easy to get swept up by 'love'. We all really need to learn to listen to our heads instead of our hearts more often.
I've posted this before but the one single most important thing that makes our relationship work is that I don't think he's amazing because I love him - I love him because he's amazing. For the first time I am in a relationship with someone I grew to love instead of someone I was infatuated with from the beginning.
This is the advice I will give my children in the future because I think it makes all the difference in the world. I 'loved' my ex and it tricked me into making excuses for his bad behaviour. It allowed me to forgive his faults and ignore the warning signs. I should have kicked him to the curb many times and I didn't.
It's easy to get swept up by 'love'. We all really need to learn to listen to our heads instead of our hearts more often.
Hot....I think the sayings, "seeing is believing" or "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" will have to apply here don't you think?
Sigh....why did you single out a cat? That goes for dogs, turtle, ferret etc
I'll compromise by telling her to swap the cat for a gold fish
Howz dat?Wow....you are really serious about this aren't ya, hopefully he didn't hypnotize you?
Seriously though, you make sense in your post, especially the latter part there. As for telling your kids though and them listening, good luck with that one
Teenagers always think they are invisible, and nothing you can say will change how they feel about that 'justin bieber' look-alike or any other teenie bopper guy/gal....they have to learn from their mistakes (some of them anyway)
DowntroddenDad
New member
Wow....you are really serious about this aren't ya, hopefully he didn't hypnotize you?
Seriously though, you make sense in your post, especially the latter part there. As for telling your kids though and them listening, good luck with that one
Teenagers always think they are invisible, and nothing you can say will change how they feel about that 'justin bieber' look-alike or any other teenie bopper guy/gal....they have to learn from their mistakes (some of them anyway)
I know I've raised some good kids when my girls give an eye roll everytime Bieber's name is mentioned. They are the right age, but not at all fans. They do like some musicians and actors. But they wouldn't ignore all the stupid behaviours. And they like music seriously enough to know that Baby Baby Baby isn't high art. Or even good....
OK, I'll chime in on this.
So I've had two "relationships" since my separation, both during my in home separation. I was very upfront about it, 1st meeting type of material... I was amazed I got 2nd dates...
1st relationship was pretty intense I again avoided a bunch of signs that I should have walked away from but the sex was great, however she turned out to not be very stable. Didn't end well, but was a great learning experience and since it was my first date in 18 years I learned A LOT.
2nd relationship went very slow we saw each other a couple times each month. It eventually got to the point where I just didn't feel she was putting as much as I was into it. We still talk and in fact we went to a NXNE show on Saturday night. Very nice girl just not sure we are at the same place, which is ok.
I had another first date three weeks ago that went well but I was not really that into her. It was sad that I really debated seeing her again just because but I slapped myself out of it and just told her straight up. So much for her feelings.
At this point I don't want a "Serious" relationship which excludes a lot of women but oh well. I've got a busy life and would like to find someone who is also busy enough with their stuff that they are not clingy. See each other once or twice a week +/-.
- Mentally and emotionally stable.
- Must not want kids, since I took care of that two years ago.
- They can have kids but I don't plan on them meeting my kids for some time, they have been through enough lately.
- I'd like someone to be successful in their career and have some kind of education
- have a car
- share some similar interests
- Be slim/fit
I've been doing the POF and okCupid crap with mixed results. I just don't want to meet "bar" people, it's just not who I am. I've thought of trying some "Meetup" events as it's not "online" dating and more activity based.
We shall see.
So I've had two "relationships" since my separation, both during my in home separation. I was very upfront about it, 1st meeting type of material... I was amazed I got 2nd dates...
1st relationship was pretty intense I again avoided a bunch of signs that I should have walked away from but the sex was great, however she turned out to not be very stable. Didn't end well, but was a great learning experience and since it was my first date in 18 years I learned A LOT.
2nd relationship went very slow we saw each other a couple times each month. It eventually got to the point where I just didn't feel she was putting as much as I was into it. We still talk and in fact we went to a NXNE show on Saturday night. Very nice girl just not sure we are at the same place, which is ok.
I had another first date three weeks ago that went well but I was not really that into her. It was sad that I really debated seeing her again just because but I slapped myself out of it and just told her straight up. So much for her feelings.
At this point I don't want a "Serious" relationship which excludes a lot of women but oh well. I've got a busy life and would like to find someone who is also busy enough with their stuff that they are not clingy. See each other once or twice a week +/-.
- Mentally and emotionally stable.
- Must not want kids, since I took care of that two years ago.
- They can have kids but I don't plan on them meeting my kids for some time, they have been through enough lately.
- I'd like someone to be successful in their career and have some kind of education
- have a car
- share some similar interests
- Be slim/fit
I've been doing the POF and okCupid crap with mixed results. I just don't want to meet "bar" people, it's just not who I am. I've thought of trying some "Meetup" events as it's not "online" dating and more activity based.
We shall see.
Am guessing you meet all the stuff that you've listed above then? i.e. you are one fit broad (can walk 5km or run a half marathon), you earn a decent salary, don't drink / smoke, no kids, not high conflict?
If the answer to all that is yes......then where have you been all my life?
Well, actually... My s15 and I run 5k road races for fun (he almost always wins the men's division... I cannot say the same for myself in the women's), I make a VERY good salary, I do not drink or smoke, and I dislike conflict... Especially when it's about s15.
Well, Oink, we probably haven't met because, judging by your Freudian slip on the title of this thread, I THINK YOU KICK CATS!!!
Lol!
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