Financial support

M

Macintosh65

New member
Hi...new here 😄

Getting ready to do a separation agreement and looking for advice.
Separated in 2012.
Traditional marriage 25 years. I was a stay at home mom for many years. I am currently 50 years old...ex is 52. Two children, I have sole custody , 21 and 19. 21 currently in 3rd year university but able to live home with me. 19 currently not sure of career choice for future studies and looking for a job.

My income is $27000
Ex's income is $79000
We have marital home with mortgage of $151,000...mortgage payment is $1000 per month.
He pays me $1500 per month total and I pay all the marital debt with that income from him and mine.
Shouldn't he have to contribute more .
 
ok the 19 year old isn't in school fulltime so they are considered to be adults so no CS for that one. No one has sole custody of an adult either. You are letting him/her live with you without having a job or going to school so that is your issue, not the exs. Sorry about that.

Is your ex helping the 21 year old with their school expenses? Did the 21 year old get one degree already? What is the level of your ex and your own education?

How can you say you have sole custody when you haven't even worked out a separation agreement? Besides if both of the young adults are healthy I cant see a judge even touching that. At their age they can decide when and where to go somewhere. You should be focusing on SS as from what you have described you may get it. With the 21 year old how many more years of school? With that your ex isn't responsible for the total cost, the 21 year old and you have to also pay some towards it.

As for the ex

Is the ex living in the house? What are the marital debts? Is the house being listed for sale or are you going to try and buy him out?

I know its a lot of questions but that is the only way you will get proper answers, by giving more details.

Your life will change now so I hope you are ready for it. Don't try and use the ex as a cash cow. He supported you so you could stay at home with the kids for a bit (how many years total?) and that is an experience that money cannot buy. This court battle could drag out for years and even when settled it could still be an ongoing thing to enforce and agreement. Don't spend a dollar to collect a dime.
 
Welcome to the forum.

First off you need to do proper equalization. That includes the house. If the house has to be sold to pay off mat debt then so be it. Unless you can buy him out of the house and obtain a mortgage on your own.

If the 19 year old is not in school he would not owe child support for that child as he is considered an adult and not in school. The 21 year old, he may owe a reduced amount of child support (reduced because there is case law that states CS can be reduced due to children living away for school. you may be able to argue for full support however that would mean court) and he should be paying his share of school costs.

Based on his income child support for the 21 year old (and this is full CS not the reduced amount), is just above $700. So CS wise, he is actually overpaying you.

Are you trying to make a case for spousal support? You guys have been separated for 3 years, so it would be up to you to prove why you need more money. He is currently paying you $1500 and his CS obligation is only $700, you are essentially getting an extra $800. Go to mysupportcalculator.com and plug in your numbers. That will help you see what could be owing.

Bottom line is you need to equalize your debts and assets and get a separation agreement in place.
 
Hi, thanks for replying 😄Sorry wasn't sure how much detail to put in first thread
As far as the facts, ex started having addiction problems in 2009 that continued to escalate and he was asked to leave the marital home in
2012. I was a stay at home mother from time second child was born and went back to work full time when they were 12 and 14 as I knew marriage would be ending. Prior to that he worked and was gone most days of the week 14 to 15 hours per day. He lived at his brothers rent free from time he left until fall of last year. Youngest graduated in 2014. Ex has recovered after a near death experience in 2013 and fully free of addiction now. I understand , the youngest is considered an adult, however, morally, he has had some issues due to the circumstances with our family life and has been slow to mature , but is on his way now, and ex has agreed to continue to support him for the time being. Ex has paid the standard amount required for child support on two kids since he set up own bank account in 2013.
Oldest is in 3rd year of four year course. He may take additional 2 years after 4 year course to expand degree but hasn't decided yet. He works in summer and pays full tuition, books etc himself which takes the entire money he is able to earn in that time frame.

I have high school and ex has taken various job related courses over the marriage and is now in senior role.

I know the kids are adults legally, I just say sole as they have never, even while minors, stayed with him overnight except for one vacation last summer. Sole I guess comes from figuring out the child support.

The kids and I live in the house, the ex is living with new partner effective last fall in her house. Her child is grown and gone. New partner makes more than my ex and.border in basement so probably no mortgage on the small home.

Marital debt is $151,000 home. Ex purchased $36000 truck in 2011 without my approval on mortgage line of credit which I probably can't do anything about. He took that truck in spring of this year and sold it at $16000 dollar loss with the understanding that the money would be put back on marital debt until all was settled. Instead, he took the profit and put it on a new truck , therefore , I am partially paying for new truck, in my opinion, as I pay the mortgage.
We had decided I would stay in the home until oldest was done school and then I would decide whether to sell or stay and divide then.
I am not out for blood, but do think he should have been and continue giving enough to cover child support and the fact that I pay all marital debt with the exception of the water bill.
Has he not been responsible for covering half of mortgage payment and house insurance as well as child support until an agreement is reached!

Child support for youngest would have just become a non issue in July of this year as I am in New Brunswick and age of majority is 19 here.

I understand this is all delayed 3 years, but our circumstance is that my ex up until the fall of 2014 was in the throws of addiction and then in recovery process. It has been very painful on both sides..and we are just getting around to it now
 
Welcome to the Forum!

I believe one would have to examine your situation in 3 parts, namely a) equalization, b) child support and c) spousal support.

Of course the first thing to do is request full financial disclosure. I would be interested in knowing how your ex is handling the 1500.00/month he pays you on his income tax return. If he is claiming it as spousal support then you would be obligated to pay tax on that money while he would be able to claim it as a deduction. This, in itself, becomes a significant issue when it comes time to negotiate the final number.

Equalization steps would have the two of you list your assets and debts. There is much information on that subject on this forum. You need to value the home and any pensions either of you have. You should check with a lawyer to see if the value of the home would be determined at the time of separation or at the time you prepare to sign your separation agreement. This can differ province to province.

Others on here will address child support.

With regards to spousal support the Federal spousal support guidelines SSAGs are just that, guidelines. The quantum for you would be indefinite as you meet the criteria for "rule of 65" (age at time of separation + years married exceeds 65). It is, however, important to note that you have to prove your entitlement. I believe (just my personal opinion) that you would be entitled to SS based on the disparity of your incomes.

I think that you will find that most of the process is merely number crunching (equalization and child support which is fairly exact). Spousal support is an entirely different thing with varying options (lump sum payments, home buyouts, "Ill give you the house if you leave my pension alone") - in other words there is most definitely room for negotiation.

So I'd get your papers together and would strongly suggest that you retain a lawyer, giving them very specific instructions. Don't get sucked into an endless process of 4 way meetings (you, your ex and your respective lawyers) or an endless letter-writing campaign by your lawyer). You merely need direction on provincial legislation regarding equalization.
 
—Both your kids are CS worthy + S7, giving the 19 old some time to figure out what to do is acceptable.

-you should use the SSAG calculator online and go with it pretty much. Nothing exceptional in your case. The fact he is living with some one to share expenses means he has reduced needs

The car is an anomaly and i wouldn't waste anytime trying to recoup your losses on it. Do equalization normally (net worth at marriage - net worth at divorce).

I would do the negotiations and calculations yourselves as much as possible then get lawyers to sign off on it and homologation by a judge.
 
The 19 yo is only cs worthy if they are taking a lap year between high school and post secondary. If they dont plan to go to school then cs isnt payable. If they do go to school, cs is payable.

For kid two, cs is payable while they are in school.

Most agreements state first degree. Since you both dont have graduate level degrees you may not be able to argue for additional education after the first degree.

Your kids are responsible for 1/3 the cost of school. Then the net cost is split btwn you and your ex proportionate to income.

You need to do the following:
1. Read the federal child support guidelines.
2. Read up on spousal support and what your entitlement might be.
3. Get your finances in order and start considering downsizing.
4. Start researching your next steps in filing for support and filing the necessary paperwork for divorce.
5. Talk to a lawyer.
 
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