Financial disclosure and Child support

seeker101 said:
I'm just amazed at the level of honesty that OP shows in expressing her true goals and beliefs. My experience has been that people incl. my ex try to act all virtuous and righteous but their actions do not reflect that. Here we have the OP who is openly admitting all these self-centric, self-entitled things and says I have no shame in wanting these things... wow!
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That’s why I think the OP is actually the ex playing devil’s advocate.
 
StillPaying said:
OP - you really need to stick to your lawyer's advice. Ignorant comments masked in arrogance won't help you. You may be able to stay longer in the matrimonial house but we wouldn't know. You haven't done anything wrong yet, but you need to analyze your opinions.

Is it better to have the house a few more years or all the support money in hand? What is your goal here?

The longer you wait, the more money you'll lose. Spousal can run out before you get the cash, home prices will keep going up, and lawyers and court fees will cost more.

You're looking at $300-$400k in equalization and 10k+ a month in support. Change may be scary, but you'll be able to buy a house and move on no problem. Make a reasonable offer then go to court.
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I assumed I would be able to live in the matrimonial house until a support agreement is in place. Why would I lose money by waiting to sell or until I am financially available to purchase something?
 
rockscan said:
Money from your ex to reduce your new boyfriend�s debt.

The hits just keep coming.

Get this through your head�> your ex is not responsible for your lifestyle, your boyfriend�s lifestyle or a standard of living YOU believe you should have.


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When I get remarried my boyfriend will be my husband and him having debt would decrease the eligibility of a mortgage our combined income would be allowed.

I spoke with a lawyer today and he said I should be able to live at a similar standard but I have a harder argument since the financials haven't been split up yet and I am living in a house that is rentfree with all bills paid.
 
StillPaying said:
Indeed. But meaning what exactly. Is he avoiding court, hiding income, waiting for limitation periods, avoiding arrears, avoiding paying more, etc? Based on what was said it sounds like he's getting a discount right now.
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I think he is getting a discount right now. Based on his income and my income I should be receiving 3 or 4k more a month but I can't ask for more without him asking for my financials.
 
trueblue22 said:
I think he is getting a discount right now. Based on his income and my income I should be receiving 3 or 4k more a month but I can't ask for more without him asking for my financials.
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Your spousal is already going towards his equity. You'll owe more costs the longer you wait to provide financials.
 
Berner_Faith said:
So provide your financials...


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I don't want to provide my financials yet because my business isn't doing so well with the pandemic but his business isn't suffering.

What happens if my lawyer asks for increased spousal support and child support for me and his response is that he will do it provided he gets my financials? Would that look bad on him or me?
 
trueblue22 said:
I don't want to provide my financials yet because my business isn't doing so well with the pandemic but his business isn't suffering.

What happens if my lawyer asks for increased spousal support and child support for me and his response is that he will do it provided he gets my financials? Would that look bad on him or me?
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It will look bad on you. Under Rule 13 you are required to file a Form 13 (in Ontario) that provides FULL AND FRANK financial disclosure.
 
trueblue22 said:
I don't want to provide my financials yet because my business isn't doing so well with the pandemic but his business isn't suffering.

What happens if my lawyer asks for increased spousal support and child support for me and his response is that he will do it provided he gets my financials? Would that look bad on him or me?
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Yea as Tayken said it will look bad on you. You really don’t understand the court process. If you’re seeking support you must provide financials. Are you afraid that he’s going to get an income imputed against you?


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Tayken said:
It will look bad on you. Under Rule 13 you are required to file a Form 13 (in Ontario) that provides FULL AND FRANK financial disclosure.
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We are not in court yet so do these rules still apply to my situation? My lawyer already told him in writing I'm not able to keep up with all my expenses with the support he's giving me right now but didn't directly ask for more money.
 
Berner_Faith said:
Yea as Tayken said it will look bad on you. You really don�t understand the court process. If you�re seeking support you must provide financials. Are you afraid that he�s going to get an income imputed against you?


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Yes I am worried about income being inputted against me. My ex provided me a business valuation report a year ago and has requested I do the same thing for my business for my income but I can't afford it.
 
trueblue22 said:
Yes I am worried about income being inputted against me. My ex provided me a business valuation report a year ago and has requested I do the same thing for my business for my income but I can't afford it.
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Can you please explain why you feel your ex has to provide full financial disclosure but you don’t think you should have too?


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trueblue22 said:
If I disclose I am in a weak financial position he will take advantage and try to bankrupt me.
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But you do understand you don’t have a choice right? If you want support you must follow the rules. Sorry but you are going to look bad in court. But you don’t seem to be understanding how this process works. You should do some research on the actual forms you must fill out. You’ll get your eyes open. You’re not afraid of being bankrupt. You’re afraid of having an income imputed because you quit a good paying job and now can’t afford life so you want your ex to pay more.


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Berner_Faith said:
But you do understand you don’t have a choice right? If you want support you must follow the rules. Sorry but you are going to look bad in court. But you don’t seem to be understanding how this process works. You should do some research on the actual forms you must fill out. You’ll get your eyes open. You’re not afraid of being bankrupt. You’re afraid of having an income imputed because you quit a good paying job and now can’t afford life so you want your ex to pay more.


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This.

Also, not being in court yet doesn’t make you exempt from providing disclosure. Judges EXPECT parties to work together to reach a resolution. Having a judge ORDER you to do what you are obligated to do is bad. You also run the risk of having to pay his legal costs when a judge orders you to provide disclosure. Do you have the money for his legal fees? What will be cheaper, his fees or the fee for the valuation?

You continue to make this worse for yourself. Instead of digging a deeper hole, get out of the one you are in and start doing what you are supposed to do. It will be much cheaper in the long run. Your ex is not responsible for you anymore.


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OP is coming across really childish and selfish. Members have been giving sound advice and a reality check (for free) but OP keeps trying to create her own reality.

At this rate, I'm afraid she'll only learn when the other party files a motion for disclosure and OP is ordered to provide it as well as gets dinged for legal costs.

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Berner_Faith said:
But you do understand you don�t have a choice right? If you want support you must follow the rules. Sorry but you are going to look bad in court. But you don�t seem to be understanding how this process works. You should do some research on the actual forms you must fill out. You�ll get your eyes open. You�re not afraid of being bankrupt. You�re afraid of having an income imputed because you quit a good paying job and now can�t afford life so you want your ex to pay more.


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I did provide some financial disclosure last year but my ex told me it was insufficient as I listed total family expenses instead of my current expenses. My lawyer at the time had further questions for my ex so he requested additional financial disclosure, which resulted in my ex requesting more disclosure from me. It cost a lot of money and resulted in my lawyer advising my ex's lawyer that we will not be continuously exchanging disclosure until necessary but now I need money and am in a bad position.

I admit I am worried about income being inputted to me. Some of the work I do is in exchange for services instead of payment so that may cause some trouble.
 
trueblue22 said:
I did provide some financial disclosure last year but my ex told me it was insufficient as I listed total family expenses instead of my current expenses. My lawyer at the time had further questions for my ex so he requested additional financial disclosure, which resulted in my ex requesting more disclosure from me. It cost a lot of money and resulted in my lawyer advising my ex's lawyer that we will not be continuously exchanging disclosure until necessary but now I need money and am in a bad position.

I admit I am worried about income being inputted to me. Some of the work I do is in exchange for services instead of payment so that may cause some trouble.
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Well I guess it’s necessary now right? You should have Income imputed to you. Would you be okay if your ex quit his job and asked to drastically reduce support? Or would you expect him to work to his full ability or have an income imputed?


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Just hand over the disclosure. The more you worry about it the more money you waste.


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