Fight Club

[resourceful]

... Based on your anger in your messages, quips and other uninformative statements it doesn't take much to guess as to why you are in the situation you are in...

Good Luck!
Tayken

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time. Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful. We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice. The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some. For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time. Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful. We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice. The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some. For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

If they are going to do that then they also need to ban or warn slug also. He has posted some offensive things in the past that were much worse then anything Tayken pointed out.

 

[billm]

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time. Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful. We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice. The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some. For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

Are you saying that when Tayken says for example "Based on your anger in your messages, quips and other uninformative statements it doesn't take much to guess as to why you are in the situation you are in... "

that that is a vicious and scathing personal attack? Is it not good for people to state their opinion in an attempt to set someone straight and help them realize they are being unreasonable?

Are you saying that no one needs advice like that, that all of the posters here are reasonable and not in need of a wake up call?

You comments and call to ban Tayken are unsupported.

He is the most informed and unbiased poster here, and I would bet that if we polled ALL of the members here who should be banned for being unreasonable, you would be near the top of the list and Tayken near the bottom.

Seriously, you are so weak in your positions that you want people actually banned from speaking their mind. One would suppose you want this because Tayken is the biggest threat to your views as he is one of the most knowledgeable in this forum, and has refuted your claims with facts and links.

You need a wake up call. Too bad the one you have received in this forum has not worked.

 

[FaithandMorals]

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time. Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful. We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice. The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some. For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

I suggest you buy some Dale Carnegie books and get your self a good pyschotherapist. This latest post confirms to me Resourcefull that you have lost the ability to reason clearly and effectively. No doubt you are intelligent but you really must get the emotional stuff under control because you seem exceptionally irrational.

 

[hadenough]

Agree w/Billm and Faithandmorals. NO support at all to "ban" Tayken or anyone on here that tells it like it is. Resourceful is a fanatic. Possibly (okay, so I'm not a doctor but my ex was nuts) a psychopath. Tayken and many others on here have offered consistently sound advice and factual information without bias. There are members on here who have been given a considerable advantage, in terms of useful information to deal with their struggles.

 

[billm]

..."Tayken" ... ends with "Good Luck!".

For what it's worth I don't like Tayken's valediction either - it comes across as condescending in some posts.

 

[hadenough]

^ that's just splitting hairs. There is no ill intent or sarcasm meant by signing off with "Good Luck!" Any "sign-off" might have a tone to it that some ppl would not like. IE: God Bless, Best Wishes etc etc. The information is in the "content" of what's posted, certainly not in the sign-off.

 

[Mess]

Clarifying "banning"

Clarifying "banning"

I don't have any interest in banning anyone at the present time.

I will delete posts or threads that become abusive. However we are all either in, or have come out of, really toxic, high conflict situations and of course we are going to lose it sometimes. As well, if you can't handle someone taking your arguments apart on the message board, you will collapse on the witness stand when your ex's lawyer gets ahold of you.

This board can be very supportive at times, and other times very tough. That's the way it should be.

I will ban someone that is consistantly giving incorrect information and misleading people (this has happened in the past.) I will ban someone who ONLY posts abusive comments and has no legitimate questions or anything positive to contribute. I will ban someone for posting nothing but commercial spam.

I won't ban someone for an opinion, although it is always nice if they can give legitimate reasons in support of an opinion, rather than just repeating the same thing ad nauseum.

 

[hadenough]

Resourceful is pretty much implying that the forum could be somehow responsible or liable for pushing someone over the proverbial edge. That is going too far. People have a choice as to whether or not, participate in the exchanges that are posted here. I would hope, and I'm sure Tayken and others would agree, that if any individual is suicidal or about to take some other extreme measures, that they would immediately seek professional help.

At the very least, seek out the comfort of a close friend who can offer support. Many of us have been in, and are "in" difficult situations and our mental health is ultimately something we need to take an active role in, should we find that we are dangerously overwhelmed.

 

[blinkandimgone]

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time. Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful. We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice. The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some. For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

I'm with Mess: I would not choose to ban Tayken for any of his opinions expressed here. Typically they are well balanced, unbiased and his advice is supported by facts and evidence.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, you are not obligated to read it. If they really bother you, make use of the ignore function. If you choose to use it for every poster who disagrees with your opinion, then so be it. I do believe this would benefit certain posters as they'd have no one left to argue with and would feel vindicated. At the same time, they'd be left with few to interact with, period.

I find your call to ban Tayken offensive in itself. Tayken has been a great source of information and advice to many. You have posted on one topic alone in order to further your own agenda. You offer no advice to others and post here solely for one purpose: to be inflammatory.

As for Tayken's 'good luck'! at the end of his posts, it's called a signature and many people use them and everyone has the option to. Someone is not going to get banned for an inoffensive signature simply because you choose to interpret different ways in different threads.

Perhaps you need to spend more time looking to yourself to figure out why YOU are so offended by Tayken. Your opinion is the polar opposite of the many who have interacted with him both here and off the board.

Perhaps if you don't have a thick enough skin or can't handle the opposing opinion of someone who is doing a VERY good job of disputing your position, you should rethink posting on internet forums.

 

[Tayken]

I do have to admit I find this argument rather interesting in this thread. One would have to consider the basis for the arguments being made against me in the matter and by whom.

I do appreciate the defense brought forward by the senior posters but, it has become clear and evident that Resourceful has underlying personal issues that are best solved (as recommended by others) through possibly the mental health system and not a public message board about custody, access, divorce and separation.

I have become Resorceful's "target of blame". Which I am more than happy to be if it helps in his quest to paint all people who oppose his point of view as being evil, spiteful and generally wrong.

This is Eddy 101 stuff he is posting in counter to any argument made against his position on any matter.

By the way, every post ends with "Good Luck". It is like saying "Cheers" at the end of a posting. When consistently used in every posting it really holds no meaning to the content of the message. Offering "luck" in any matter is not a negative thing.

Now, if stated as "Good luck with that argument you <insert insulting comment here>" then one would have an argument.

If preferred I can say "cheers" or "yours very truly" at the end of every message. I just put "Good Luck!" as a general ending... Purely out of habit.

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[Tayken]

Blaming the victim yet again based on suppositions and no evidence of the person's case whatsoever. This is one of dozens of examples of this poster "Tayken" using this support forum as a platform to launch a scathing personal attack, which they have the gall to sarcastically end with "Good Luck!".

1. If the person provides "evidence" of their case then a better discussion can happen.

2. Please outline how it is "scathing"?

3. All messages end with "Good Luck!". It is just an ending to every posting and this one as well. To try to draw some "conclusion" out of a tag line is really reaching for an argument.

People come to this forum because they're going through a difficult time.

Most people are coming with a question. Some, like yourself come to try and make a statement.

Divorce, particularly conflict over custody and access, can be dangerously stressful.

That is why they should be seeking mental health help for the stress related to family law situations and not a public forum to solve their problems.

We all know there are serious problems in family law and we all struggle to some degree with that inefficiency or injustice.

We all know? When did you speak for me and the others who disagree with your position?

The stress can be so extreme that suicide becomes a real concern for some.

Again, this is why we have TeleHealth Ontario and the other elements of our public health system. This is not a suicide forum.

For "Tayken" to make such a habit of attack people so viciously in such a sensitive time should not be tolerated. It's incredibly irresponsible. He doesn't know the state of mind people are in.

Some people's state of mind is easily demonstrated by their highly conflicted postings. Are you suggesting that you are feeling suicidal due to my counter arguments to the positions I disagree with on this forum? If so, you should be seeking mental health help.

The moderators of the forum MUST ban Tayken or publicly warn him and others who do so to refrain from such attacks. Saying nothing would be implicitly condoning such extremely offensive behavior.

Please demonstrate the actual attacks. What "attack" words do I use? You are suggesting I am "verbally abusive" possibly. There are clear definitions in psychology for what constitutes "verbal abuse". Providing a counter argument, sighting counter arguments, putting forward a difference of opinion, etc... Is not verbally abusive. If you want to debate the merits of an argument being put forward, maybe you shouldn't make an emotional attack such as this posting and rely on cogent and relevant evidence to support your argument.

Much of what you are presenting is based on your personal feelings (emotional reasoning) and the only sighting of anything is "Good Luck!" as offensive. Really, it is a "weak" argument to do so.

Furthermore, it is quite interesting that without knowing my background, which I do not share on this forum, and for what reason I am here you are making a lot of assumptions about me as a person.

My name on this forum alone should speak volumes if analyzed and the major topics I address... Which all involve the removal of children in contravention of the criminal code of Canada section 283.(1) and 282.(1), international abduction, inter jurisdictional abductions, anxiety disorders, factitious disorders, and other very complex issues before the court.

Good Luck! (or if you would like "Cheers,")
Tayken

 

[resourceful]

Tayken's abusive behavior must be publicly shown not to be tolerated

Tayken's abusive behavior must be publicly shown not to be tolerated

I don't have any interest in banning anyone at the present time.
...

"Tayken" could have said "trying to look at things from the point of view of the other party can be helpful in reducing conflict, especially if you're encountering difficulty". Instead Tayken said "it doesn't take much to guess as to why you are in the situation you are in" ... thereby pulling an assumption out of thin air that "slughead10" was losing in court and using that assumption to attack slughead10 on a deeply sensitive topic at at emotionally raw time. Slughead10 has already stated that he is doing exceptionally well ... as far as anyone can be doing well in family court ... Tayken was just grasping at straws for a way to be hurtful. But even giving Tayken the benefit of the doubt how could Tayken POSSIBLY be seen as somehow making such a rude and out of context statement out of kindness for slughead10? The very suggestion is either absolutely idiotic or completely dishonest. If this were a one-off comment Tayken made that would be one thing. But Tayken makes this kind of thing a habit. For Tayken to casually use such aggressive language to abuse people on this forum who might be in a difficult situation ... just to try to "win" a personal argument (which in this case Tayken lost anyways) ... there's no way Tayken made such comments out of anything but pure mean spiritedness and the desire to bully and humiliate someone they saw as having opposing views.

Anyone who says definitively without proof that Tayken HASN'T made a number of venomously aggressive comments on this board should ask themselves if it's reasonable not to at least reserve their opinions until until they HAVE seen more of Tayken's offensive posts.

There's no room for this in a support forum. If Tayken is not going to be banned this conduct of Tayken's MUST at least be publicly criticized by the moderators. What possible justification can there be for allowing such attacks? Tayken has made such attacks DOZENS of times and I've only read a small fraction of Tayken's posts. ONE SUCH ATTACK SHOULD BE ENOUGH! The time to end such behavior has LONG passed.

The justification that "the victim deserved it because he or she did it too" is extremely weak. We're all adults and should be able to stick to the points when we disagree and to avoid personal attacks. I have said this repeatedly to those who attack me personally rather than addressing my arguments. Rise higher. Expect more of yourselves.

 

[blinkandimgone]

Then I'll assume you advocate for Slughead's banning as well for the numerous vile and hateful posts he's made as well?

 

[resourceful]

I have reviewed a GREAT MANY of slughead10's posts and the pattern is always the same ... he makes a point ... is viciously attacked ... and then eventually he retaliates. Even then his retaliatory strikes are nowhere near as numerous or aggressive as those of the familiar rogues gallery of posters (Tayken et al) who're ALWAYS the ones attacking him in the first place. Others on this forum have corroborated this view. Even discussing banning slughead10 without addressing the issue of posters like Tayken's who HABITUALLY initiate these kinds of personal attacks is disingenuous. The very issue of comments slughead10 made in retaliation is just a distraction.

To maintain the integrity of this forum, such personal attacks as Tayken habitually launches must be publicly shown not to be tolerated.

 

[WorkingDAD]

2resourceful

I am still waiting for you to read my case and may be adding something after you actually read it...

should I still wait for it or we can just agree that you are not really interested in something what actually happened ?

 

[blinkandimgone]

Dude....Tayken is NOT getting banned. Period.

Thank you for coming out, now move on.

 

[cbarker78]

.......Anyone who says definitively without proof that Tayken HASN'T made a number of venomously aggressive comments on this board should ask themselves if it's reasonable not to at least reserve their opinions until until they HAVE seen more of Tayken's offensive posts. ........

As one of the relatively "newer" people with less than 1000 posts..... I would be interested to see a larger sample of what you view to be Tayken's horribly offensive posts.

I lurked for some time prior to joining and have read countless threads dating back years..... while I may not always agree with what he has to say, I can appreciate a well presented, logical, intelligent, and thought provoking argument.

In all of that reading, I have seen members who are quite like yourself who add relatively little value to a thread as they just rant and scream.... Personal opinions are fine - we all have them - but an intelligent person will know when they need to bend and adapt their views in light of new information!

p.s. I often sign my posts with "best wishes", but in your case, I'll borrow Tayken's and wish "Good Luck"

lol

 

[resourceful]

@blinkandimgone

If you have so little regard for integrity and won't even make a statement condemning abusive conduct on a forum intended solely for support then your views are worth less to me than I'd ever imagined before. I can have no use for your opinions.

You're obviously at liberty to impose whatever biases you feel like as a moderator. You yourself have made offensive comments before. But please enjoy imposing your biased opinions on others. In the future I'll thank you not to address me in any thread I post in, not to email me through this forum, and not to otherwise stalk me and try to force an interaction with me when I have no desire whatsoever to engage you.

 

[blinkandimgone]

@blinkandimgone

If you have so little regard for integrity and won't even make a statement condemning abusive conduct on a forum intended solely for support then your views are worth less to me than I'd ever imagined before. I can have no use for your opinions.

You're obviously at liberty to impose whatever biases you feel like as a moderator. You yourself have made offensive comments before. But please enjoy imposing your biased opinions on others. In the future I'll thank you not to address me in any thread I post in, to email me through this forum, or to otherwise stalk me and try to force an interaction with me when I have no desire whatsoever to engage you.

LMAO! Better get used to the concept of a public forum, my friend

These kinds of demands may work with the peons you surely surround yourself with in your everyday life to make yourself feel important, however I do believe you are most offended by the fact that you cannot control everyone around you.

Good Luck - you're seriously going to need it.