Ex Willingly Taking Lower Paying Job

[Teddie]

My ex recently told me that she is thinking of becoming a flight attendant. She works shift work as a nurse. We have a 50/50 access schedule and joint custody.

We have had the children on a week on/week off schedule for over a year and from all accounts it looks like my ex's mom is the one doing a lot of the parenting as my ex is working. The other day my ex told me that she wanted to leave her current job to work as a flight attendant as it would allow her more time with the children...not sure how that could be true. Her current boyfriend works at the airport and if I had to guess, that may have been a deciding factor.

I can't see how a flight attendant would have anymore time for their kids than a nurse. If she does go ahead and change careers and I see that she is with the kids even less than she is now, would a motion to have more access to the kids be worth the effort or will the status quo of 50/50 access overrule it?

Also, if she willingly quits her job to take a lower paying job, am I obligated to increase my child support. I ask this because I am already struggling to make ends meet and my financial struggles are solely from my ex and her attempts to win sole custody based on false allegations.

As it stands, I would say she is only with the kids a quarter of the time at best. Her mother and her last two boyfriends have been responsible for watching the kids more often than not.

Thanks

 

[OrleansLawyer]

All of your questions will be contingent upon the facts.

am I obligated to increase my child support.

Yes. Although if you can show that she is underemployed, without reason, then you could seek to have a higher income imputed to her.

If she does go ahead and change careers and I see that she is with the kids even less than she is now, would a motion to have more access to the kids be worth the effort or will the status quo of 50/50 access overrule it?

Depends how much less; how the children are doing; whether it is in their best interests.

Whether it is worth the effort is a personal decision.

 

[Teddie]

All of your questions will be contingent upon the facts.


Yes. Although if you can show that she is underemployed, without reason, then you could seek to have a higher income imputed to her.


Depends how much less; how the children are doing; whether it is in their best interests.

Whether it is worth the effort is a personal decision.

I would argue that she would be underemployed and try to impute an income. She has the post secondary education that enabled her to become a nurse so why voluntarily quit and take a lower paying job as a flight attendant.

I would think if I quit my job to take a lower paying job, there is no way I would be allowed to pay less CS. In fact, I am sure of it after seeing how the courts work. Being layed off of fired is one thing, but to quit is completely different. By quitting a better paying job and expecting me to pay more is essentially her making a poor decision that impacts the children and then making me the fall-guy.

Her argument to date is that being a flight attendant allows her more time with the children. If that is the case; which I doubt; that would be her only argument as to why the job switch was a good decision.

 

[randomjohndoe]

This what irritates me here. Nurse is a hard physical job, shifts are irregular. Everything (days off etc) has to be planned out two month ahead. Can the person NOT be sick and tired of it and choose a lower paying job to gain some quality of life? I find it bizarre.

 

[Teenwolf]

This what irritates me here. Nurse is a hard physical job, shifts are irregular. Everything (days off etc) has to be planned out two month ahead. Can the person NOT be sick and tired of it and choose a lower paying job to gain some quality of life? I find it bizarre.

People do have a choice, and the courts recognize this, but the interests of the child take priority. Yes, nursing can be hard with irregular hours, but so can a flight attendant job, so I'm not sure if that argument is prudent in this case.

 

[Janus]

This what irritates me here. Nurse is a hard physical job, shifts are irregular. Everything (days off etc) has to be planned out two month ahead. Can the person NOT be sick and tired of it and choose a lower paying job to gain some quality of life? I find it bizarre.

You lose that right when you get divorced.

If you take a more satisfying but lower-paying job, it is because you are a deadbeat who is trying to avoid obligations. Best interests of the children involves money, nothing else. Children do best with more money.

 

[randomjohndoe]

You lose that right when you get divorced.

If you take a more satisfying but lower-paying job, it is because you are a deadbeat who is trying to avoid obligations. Best interests of the children involves money, nothing else. Children do best with more money.

Exactly

 

[randomjohndoe]

People do have a choice, and the courts recognize this, but the interests of the child take priority. Yes, nursing can be hard with irregular hours, but so can a flight attendant job, so I'm not sure if that argument is prudent in this case.

Flight attendant can have very regular shifts, because planes fly on schedule. And it is by far more pleasant work than nursing.

 

[Mess]

People do have a choice, and the courts recognize this, but the interests of the child take priority. Yes, nursing can be hard with irregular hours, but so can a flight attendant job, so I'm not sure if that argument is prudent in this case.

Well said.

 

[Teenwolf]

Flight attendant can have very regular shifts, because planes fly on schedule.

And so can nursing. If your not casual or on-call, then your shift schedule can be known far in advance. I've had shift work jobs in the past whereby I knew my schedule for an entire year.

Regardless, there's the potential here for her to take a lower paying job, which may result in the OP paying more CS. If the OP intends to challenge this in court, then she best have some good reasons for the change.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

strange on here some people are told to take a lower paying job due to the fact they travel or are away alot due to the requirements of their work. They are told to look for something that puts the kids need to see them at a highter priority then a well paying job. Where is that line drawn???

 

[Teenwolf]

strange on here some people are told to take a lower paying job due to the fact they travel or are away alot due to the requirements of their work. They are told to look for something that puts the kids need to see them at a highter priority then a well paying job. Where is that line drawn???

There is one important underlying concept with those examples: the job change was done in order to serve the best interests of the child. If the OP pursues imputing income in court, then the ex must show how the job change benefited the child. Where is the line drawn? That's hard to say, as court decisions are typically not black and white. I don't have all the details of the OP's situation but, based on what has been said, I don't believe a switch from Nurse to Flight Attendant is prudent.

 

[Teddie]

There is one important underlying concept with those examples: the job change was done in order to serve the best interests of the child. If the OP pursues imputing income in court, then the ex must show how the job change benefited the child. Where is the line drawn? That's hard to say, as court decisions are typically not black and white. I don't have all the details of the OP's situation but, based on what has been said, I don't believe a switch from Nurse to Flight Attendant is prudent.

It's a tough situation. The children are usually a secondary concern of my ex and I doubt the reason she is switching jobs is to see the kids more. She only works night shift 1 week out of every eight, and I have accomodated many scheduling changes so that her weeks could fall on those in which she is working days.

My job is tough as well but I honestly could not find a job that gives me the same hours and pay that I enjoy now. I could leave my job today and take a lower paying, more enjoyable job but I would be impacting the quality of life that the kids and I enjoy. Like one of you said, because I am the support payor, if I take a lower paying job then I would be a deadbeat I guess.

 

[Teddie]

The same woman went into court with a letter pleading with the judge to ignore the offset that is usually paid for CS in a 50/50 access arrangement and instead asked for $1500/month in CS. When she didn't get what she wanted she stated, in front of a judge, "if that's how its going to be then why don't I just quit my job". Clearly the attitude of someone who doesn't always think of the kids first.

If at the end of the day, she is indeed seeing the kids more and not taking a massive pay cut, then I would just bit the bullet and shell out the extra CS. My worry is that she will see the kids even less than she already does while collecting more money from me.

 

[Teenwolf]

It's a tough situation. The children are usually a secondary concern of my ex and I doubt the reason she is switching jobs is to see the kids more. She only works night shift 1 week out of every eight, and I have accomodated many scheduling changes so that her weeks could fall on those in which she is working days.

Do the math: will she have more time to spend with the kids as a nurse or flight attendent? If she's smart, she'll try to justify the job change by stating it was in the best interest of the kids, but she needs to back up such a claim. You need to think about her possible reasons and be prepared to shoot them down.

When she didn't get what she wanted she stated, in front of a judge, "if that's how its going to be then why don't I just quit my job".

Statements like that won't bode well for her. Did the judge respond to her statement?

 

[billm]

This what irritates me here. Nurse is a hard physical job, shifts are irregular. Everything (days off etc) has to be planned out two month ahead. Can the person NOT be sick and tired of it and choose a lower paying job to gain some quality of life? I find it bizarre.

Teddie - mind your own business.

You had kids with someone, you split, you each have 50% time with the kids, you pay CS based on income. That is fair and reasonable.

Who are you to dictate how she raises the kids (within reason) or what work she does?

Her making less is NOT taking money away from you, it means less money for raising the kids, which is a reasonable thing to do - people do it all the time and no one should have a right to stop them.

She is not quitting working she is changing jobs - mind your own damn business. Seriously some people.

 

[Teddie]

Statements like that won't bode well for her. Did the judge respond to her statement?

The judge sternly said, "Ask you attorney what happens if you do that, I would strongly advise against making such a hasty decision". He wasn't impressed.

 

[Teddie]

Teddie - mind your own business.

You had kids with someone, you split, you each have 50% time with the kids, you pay CS based on income. That is fair and reasonable.

Who are you to dictate how she raises the kids (within reason) or what work she does?

Her making less is NOT taking money away from you, it means less money for raising the kids, which is a reasonable thing to do - people do it all the time and no one should have a right to stop them.

She is not quitting working she is changing jobs - mind your own damn business. Seriously some people.

Really, are you actually being serious? Her making less could very well take money away from me if I have to pay more CS. Again, in case you didn't read what I wrote, I don't oppose to a slight change but if she takes a huge paycut and I'm making significant increases in what I pay in support then ya, it is my business.

I'm not dictating what she does for work. My point was if she is switching to a lower paying job and using "more time with the kids" as justification, I think it is my business if I end up having to pay more when in fact she may be spending even less time with them.

If I, being a support payor, quit my job to take one that pays half as much, do you really think she should accept less in the way of CS payments? Or should she mind her business?

 

[billm]

Really, are you actually being serious? Her making less could very well take money away from me if I have to pay more CS. Again, in case you didn't read what I wrote, I don't oppose to a slight change but if she takes a huge paycut and I'm making significant increases in what I pay in support then ya, it is my business.

I don't agree. Parents raise children according to their income. Why is the incomes you have today 'the standard' that has to be maintained? What if she doubled her income - would you want to pay the same CS to her? I think not.

You're not opposed to a slight change? - again mind your own business. You are two separate people. You make what you make and you take a portion of that (according to the CS tables) and share it to raise the kids. Simple.

You want to dictate her income level? I totally disagree with your view point.

I'm not dictating what she does for work. My point was if she is switching to a lower paying job and using "more time with the kids" as justification, I think it is my business if I end up having to pay more when in fact she may be spending even less time with them.

I disagree, she does not have to justify ANYTHING to you regarding her work choices or (within reason) her parenting time.

You can phrase it as 'paying more CS', but really you are just following the child support guidelines that state you raise the kids in proportion to your incomes.

If I, being a support payor, quit my job to take one that pays half as much, do you really think she should accept less in the way of CS payments? Or should she mind her business?

Yes, I believe in the CS guidelines that state parents should raise their kids in proportion to their incomes. You should adjust CS yearly based on actual income.

I think it is ridiculous that you want to dictate how much she makes (or pretend she makes more than she actually does) - this would not be in the best interests of the children who live with her half the time and need the amount of money for child raising to be balanced in both homes.

You may say that her making less is not in the best interests of the children, but again I say that is none of your business. She disagrees with you and that is her right as an individual and parent.

Get over it - it should be out of your control and I would hope the courts would agree.

 

[Teddie]

I don't agree. Parents raise children according to their income. Why is the incomes you have today 'the standard' that has to be maintained? What if she doubled her income - would you want to pay the same CS to her? I think not.

You're not opposed to a slight change? - again mind your own business. You are two separate people. You make what you make and you take a portion of that (according to the CS tables) and share it to raise the kids. Simple.

You want to dictate her income level? I totally disagree with your view point.



I disagree, she does not have to justify ANYTHING to you regarding her work choices or (within reason) her parenting time.

You can phrase it as 'paying more CS', but really you are just following the child support guidelines that state you raise the kids in proportion to your incomes.



Yes, I believe in the CS guidelines that state parents should raise their kids in proportion to their incomes. You should adjust CS yearly based on actual income.

I think it is ridiculous that you want to dictate how much she makes (or pretend she makes more than she actually does) - this would not be in the best interests of the children who live with her half the time and need the amount of money for child raising to be balanced in both homes.

You may say that her making less is not in the best interests of the children, but again I say that is none of your business. She disagrees with you and that is her right as an individual and parent.

Get over it - it should be out of your control and I would hope the courts would agree.

At no point did I ever say "I would pretend she makes more than she does". I didn't ask for your "feelings" on the matter by the way.

Unfortunately, being a divorced parent the luxury of working a job more to your liking isn't always the reality. I know its certainly not a reality for me and that I would not get away with taking a lower paying job. The judge would want to know, why I quit and unless I had a great reason, he would impute an income and claim that I was underemployed.

You say she doesn't have to justify her work choices....your wrong. If there was a significant difference in salary and I felt the need to address it in court (ie she is taking home half of what she used to), she would have to justify herself as to why her career change is in our children's best interests.

After divorce, I carefully budgeted to ensure that I could afford where I live, the car I drive, etc etc. If suddenly there is a big change in circumstance, she has to realize, as would I, that no matter what, a large pay drop in either household DOES affect the kids standard of living.