Ex refusing to pay for braces

[kcurtis72]

It has been recommended by the orthodontist that our 12 year old daughter should get braces. When the idea first came up about a year ago (when she still had her baby teeth) he was receptive and indicated that he would be willing to pay 50% of the costs. We do have a court order that includes dental for section 7 expenses. As it stands now he would be responsible for paying 67.8% and I would pay 32.2%.

Now that the time has come for the braces to get put on, he has sent me an email indicating that the braces are "not medically necessary" and would be for cosmetic purposes only and, as such he is not willing to agree to them. He is also claiming that he is not in a position to be able to afford to pay for them (he makes $105k/year and his spouse makes $60k per year - they travel to Disney to participate in marathons 4-5 times per year).

Can he really block our daughter from getting braces? She may not have a medical condition that would necessitate them, but it could impact her future dental health and I think her self confidence would benefit from having the work done. Her teeth aren't massively crooked, but her father and I both had extensive orthodontic work done as teenagers, so I think that genetically, she is probably looking at the same thing. This way we are catching it early and the repair should only take up to 15 months, according to the Orthodontist. Thank you.

 

[rockscan]

Do you both have benefits coverage?

 

[arabian]

make sure you get the braces (make a deal with the doc).

Sorry your daughter has such a loser of a father. Hope you are legally able to kick his ass.

Why do people have children if they aren't prepared to pay costs of raising them? Uber loser IMO.

 

[kcurtis72]

Neither of our benefits plans covers the braces

 

[kcurtis72]

Agreed! I emailed him back and told him I would pay full costs to get it done. We have joint custody, though, so he has to agree to the treatment. He still hasn’t responded. Makes me nuts that he and his girlfriend do all this travelling and live in a $550k house but he “can’t afford” braces for our kid.

 

[rockscan]

He does know that its 80% of the net cost right? What if you requested he pay 50% instead?

 

[Stillbreathing]

I have the same problem. STBX agreed in 2012 to pay for 100% of kids dental costs as he is a multimillionaire and I don’t have benefits. It’s the only order we have on consent in 6 years litigation. Well he paid the first time in 2012. That’s it. Has been refusing ever since yet strangely enough he complains in his affidavits that the kids teeth are rotting out of their mouths because i’m Such a bad parent ( I have borrowed money to pay their dental bills and they’ve never missed an appointment). One of them needs braces and of course STBX is refusing to pay. I’ve asked my lawyer on multiple occasions to get an enforcement through FRO order which has been ignored. We are going to trial ( I hope) in May and I will hopefully get an enforcement order then.

 

[kcurtis72]

He had originally offered to pay 50% about a year ago and I didn’t point out that his actual obligation would be closer to 70%. I would be okay with the 50, but he is now totally unwilling to pay for any of it.

 

[kcurtis72]

Yikes. We just finished 3 years of litigation because he refused to pay tabled child support and hadn’t reimbursed me for any section 7 expenses because I was self employed and we couldn’t agree to the proper proportionate shares. He also tried to make our son quit a sport in which he competes nationally and has done so for over a decade because he was crying financial hardship. I’d hate to have to start that up again but will if I have to. I self-represented against him and his douchey lawyer (even the duty counsel lawyers said the guy had an awful reputation) and won pretty much everything so I’m not afraid of a fight.

 

[kate331]

Crap, this isnt encouraging, mine too just starting paying tabled support after 18 months, and was forced into it by a CC Judge, no Section 7 either, I have to get a Motion for that. And I'm not even self employed.

I feel so defeated that its always such a fight and the lawyers fees are beyond my means.

I hope you can provide some insight into self repping, because I think thats my only hope.

Good luck on the braces, I will be following with great interest and hoping and praying my kids dont need them

 

[kcurtis72]

Crap, this isnt encouraging, mine too just starting paying tabled support after 18 months, and was forced into it by a CC Judge, no Section 7 either, I have to get a Motion for that. And I'm not even self employed.

I feel so defeated that its always such a fight and the lawyers fees are beyond my means.

I hope you can provide some insight into self repping, because I think thats my only hope.

Good luck on the braces, I will be following with great interest and hoping and praying my kids dont need them

Self repping is hard but it can be done. Be sure to take advantage of the duty counsel whenever you can. They can help you make sure your paperwork is right and if your income is too high for them to represent you, they will often help guide you in the right direction. They were invaluable to me.

It’s a long process and it is challenging but your ex has responsibilities to his kids. There is no grey area here.

My ex and his lawyer tried to intimidate me and we got to the point where the next step was a trial. I knew I was legally in the right so I held firm and in the end it worked out for me. It’s still a bit of a struggle (he gave me an amount he felt was fair for the section 7’s rather than the whole amount) but now i’m going to use the Family Responsibility Office to enforce. Once you have that precious court order get that ball rolling! I don’t even engage in the arguments anymore. Not my problem. I submit my receipts and they get the money I am owed. That, too is a process to set up, but it will be worth it to have one more degree of separation there.

You can do this. Wait till you find out just how strong and smart you really are!

 

[kate331]

So he pays Section 7 throught FRO? I know some have a hard time with FRO for Section 7 because of the wording of the court order. Could you not then just submit the ortho bill to FRO and have them collect his share for the braces?

Thanks for your encouragement re the self rep!

 

[kcurtis72]

So my ex actually emailed me and said that he would be willing to agree to our daughter getting braces as long as I was willing to put into writing that I would be 100% financially responsible and would in no way go back to him legally or financially for them. So I took my own advice and went to visit the duty counsel lawyer yesterday and laid everything out for him. He advised that braces are covered under dental for our already agreed upon Section 7 expenses so he would definitely be responsible for the 70%. If he doesn't agree then we will probably have to go back to court, but on the plus side, him refusing braces for our kid is gonna look pretty bad, especially given his income and his income (and I'll be sure to mention the fb post in which his fiancee is hinting that a destination wedding to the Bahamas is a possibility they are exploring). So I wrote him an email breaking down all the costs (there is also a 15 month payment plan so only $155/month for his share). I told him that I needed an answer by March 31 or I would have no choice but to initiate court proceedings, but that I hoped we could settle this without making it necessary. Fingers crossed he actually realizes that this is going to happen without having to wait too long for our daughter to get the braces. Sigh.....

 

[kcurtis72]

no problem Kate!
Yes, as long as the court order spells out the percentage split you are good to go. The issue with this arises from us having joint custody. We have to both agree on medical expenses and major decisions. If we aren't in agreement it doesn't happen. For instance, the kids had been seeing the chiropractor I work for since 2011, but are no longer allowed to do so because he feels it is a conflict of interest. The fact that both kids are very adamant that they are comfortable with these chiropractors and aren't interested in going elsewhere is a moot point to him. It's frustrating!!

 

[ensorcelled]

Not encouraging, but I just pay for sh!t and don't ask my ex for reimbursement anymore. It's not worth the headache. I've been asking him for his benefits coverage for over 3 years now to no avail. I just let it gooooo and pay myself.

 

[kate331]

I hope she gets the braces asap and he pays his fair share! I cant imagine battling with the ex for years to come. If you have to go back to court, can u include the chiropractor issues, kill 2 birds with one stone?

A year back when I was down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself I went on a few dates with this guy that had 2 teenage girls. I asked him for proof that he paid and was current in his support payments .

 

[kate331]

Not encouraging, but I just pay for sh!t and don't ask my ex for reimbursement anymore. It's not worth the headache. I've been asking him for his benefits coverage for over 3 years now to no avail. I just let it gooooo and pay myself.

I wish I could do that, but I am not there yet financially. If I knew now, what I knew then I would have NEVER stayed home with my kids.

 

[rockscan]

Ex refusing to pay for braces

Word of advice, dont be slinging shit about his income, his spouses income, how much money they spend, where they go or what they say on facebook. Its all IRRELEVANT. Stick to the facts:

1. Kid needs braces
2. Braces are a medical expense
3. His portion is 70% of the net cost

You should also figure out what the tax deduction is on them and then break down the cost. That means calculate the annual cost and pop it into your taxes this year and then take it out. Whatever the difference in your return is the tax deduction to come off the cost. Then you figure out his percentage.

 

[ensorcelled]

I wish I could do that, but I am not there yet financially. If I knew now, what I knew then I would have NEVER stayed home with my kids.

See..I wish I had! I would have loved to spend those special years with them but alas it wasn't in the cards. You sound incredibly smart and savvy so I'm sure you'll be making $$$ soon!

 

[Newfie76]

As it stands now he would be responsible for paying 67.8% and I would pay 32.2%. He is also claiming that he is not in a position to be able to afford to pay for them (he makes $105k/year and his spouse makes $60k per year

So first of all his new spouse is not responsible for paying for your child's teeth or anything for that matter. Unless there is an arrangement to do so.

Second - If he makes $105/year and you are covering 32%...it sounds like you are taking in about the $30-35K bracket. You don't mention spousal support but I assume you do take that along with child support. With all numbers, calculated approx of course, you both should be netting about $55-60/year. In short you BOTH take in the same amount of money..... I know because those numbers are similar to me. My ex only need pay 29% of costs....but yet we net the same. hmmmm? I smell some Kim Cambell....

Now you can force him through court to pay....which will take more money from the kids...because he has to pay a lawyer, and money does not grow on trees. Di you know his current debt load? Did you take it to him in court? Crush him like most women?

My kids come first....I have no savings....I barely cover expenses...and have a 3 bed 1100 sq home. If my daughter or son needs braces...the answer is no. Unless I dip into their RESP fund.....and that is not right. Bottom line is you have no idea about your exs financial situation. How much did he lose in the separation? What is his current debt load?

- they travel to Disney to participate in marathons 4-5 times per year).

Sounds like his spouse is paying for the entire thing....no way he can cover that with the "debt bondage" he has to pay you.... His work pays him $105K/yr but you know he does not keep that.... the law says he is indebted to you and he must pay you.

Can he really block our daughter from getting braces?

Does not sound like he is blocking anyone. If he said, "I have the money and no I will not pay." Then yes, he is blocking. Is he saying this?

Sounds to me like he has not the money. I would need to know more about his financial debt, outside of your own legal "debt bondage" you have on him.

Just an idea....maybe you could take the same schooling your ex has and earn the same pay as he. That 3-5 years....your daughter will still be young and you would eliminate the debt bondage for your ex to properly spend money on your kids, save for the future of your kids and maybe even have a better relationship with you.

End the debt bondage first.