Ex husband paying girlfriend to babysit?

trueblue22 said:
Hi everyone,

Is my ex husband allowed to pay his girlfriend to babysit the children when I am available to watch them?
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You are referring to a Right of First Refusal (ROFR) which rarely gets included in a Court Order. To my understanding based on your posts, you are nowhere near having a Court Order in your case.

ROFR is seldom granted in Court Orders. A ROFR clause may get included into an amicable separation agreement between 2 parents that actually like eachother and want their kids to be with the other parent. If you are in court, its likely you don't fit in that category. ROFR does not get put into orders where parents don't like eachother. ROFR works when the 1 parent can't look after kids during their time and request the other parent to look after them.

Where the parents don't get along, the parent will simply constantly rely on someone else, or someone else, and so on, and will have you as the last option. Even if ROFR were in the court order, it is not enforceable and you would only find out about the missed opportunity to look after kids after the fact, when your kids tell you they spent the weekend with someone other than the other parent.
 
trueblue22 said:
But can he claim this as a childcare expense??
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If he claims it as a section 7 expense then you can dispute it but when it is on his time you can’t say anything about it. He can have child care on his time. You can’t demand he leave the kids with you. How would you feel if he said he gets the kids when you can’t look after them? It works both ways.

Have you disclosed your financials yet so you can move toward settling and you can try for a right of first refusal? Not that it would work but you could raise it.
 
rockscan said:
If he claims it as a section 7 expense then you can dispute it but when it is on his time you can�t say anything about it. He can have child care on his time. You can�t demand he leave the kids with you. How would you feel if he said he gets the kids when you can�t look after them? It works both ways.

Have you disclosed your financials yet so you can move toward settling and you can try for a right of first refusal? Not that it would work but you could raise it.
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I'm not disputing him leaving the children with her. But I object to him paying her when she's his girlfriend.
 
How on earth do you know if he’s paying her? Not to mention it’s his money and he can do what he wants with it.

This is your biggest problem—your sense of entitlement. You aren’t married anymore. He can do what he wants and spend what he wants. Unless he is asking you to pay your share, you don’t get a say.
 
DHTO said:
Ok fine, object here in this forum. But what are you going to do about it?
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She doesn't have to do anything about it. The other parent won't be able to collect on the expense unless they have all the proper documentation, agreement or court order for S7.
 
Tayken said:
She doesn't have to do anything about it. The other parent won't be able to collect on the expense unless they have all the proper documentation, agreement or court order for S7.
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She hasnt noted if he has asked her to pay her share.
 
The question is, can it be a legitimate S7 expense? I think I have seen grandmothers being paid caring fees and being able to claim them.

I suspect if the amount is "reasonable" (ie. less than the prevailing market rate) and the girlfriend is otherwise giving up paid renumeration, a court might see these as legitimate expenses?

I swear I've seen a case that addressed this, I'll see if I can find it.
 
Tayken said:
She doesn't have to do anything about it. The other parent won't be able to collect on the expense unless they have all the proper documentation, agreement or court order for S7.
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I think he's trying to increase his section 7 expenses. He uses her to watch the children when he's working. My kids told me. I think he pays her around market rate for a babysitter.
 
Ex husband paying girlfriend to babysit?

trueblue22 said:
I think he's trying to increase his section 7 expenses.
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Key words “I think”

Is this on his financial statement or to claim from you? If it is inflated on his financial statement then it makes no difference since most of what is on financial statements is inflated. Again, unless he is trying to get your share, it’s irrelevant.

He uses her to watch the children when he's working. My kids told me. I think he pays her around market rate for a babysitter.
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Again: “I think”

So your info is from your kids. You haven’t been provided anything directly.

You are getting into the (useless) weeds again. Not to mention you are trying to control your ex.
 
rockscan said:
Key words �I think�

Is this on his financial statement or to claim from you? If it is inflated on his financial statement then it makes no difference since most of what is on financial statements is inflated. Again, unless he is trying to get your share, it�s irrelevant.



Again: �I think�

So your info is from your kids. You haven�t been provided anything directly.

You are getting into the (useless) weeds again. Not to mention you are trying to control your ex.
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He is refusing to provide an updated financial statement without me disclosing information about my business. We are at a standstill. I am happy staying in the house with him paying all the bills.
 
Janus said:
The question is, can it be a legitimate S7 expense? I think I have seen grandmothers being paid caring fees and being able to claim them.

I suspect if the amount is "reasonable" (ie. less than the prevailing market rate) and the girlfriend is otherwise giving up paid renumeration, a court might see these as legitimate expenses?

I swear I've seen a case that addressed this, I'll see if I can find it.
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I have some case law where a judge craps on Granparents getting paid somewhere. Never that they should be paid.
 
trueblue22 said:
He is refusing to provide an updated financial statement without me disclosing information about my business. We are at a standstill. I am happy staying in the house with him paying all the bills.
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And there it is. You still haven’t disclosed your info. I wouldn’t be so quick to judge his delay since you refuse to provide yours.

Your lawyer still charges while you play this game. He might be paying the bills now but you will have a large bill in the future.

Pull your head out of your ass and provide your disclosure.
 
Going to take a different look at this. I find it odd that someone who makes over $500k annually would try to alleviate some of his support payment by padding s.7 expenditures. That is the type of salary that does not lend itself to resorting to pettiness.
 
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