Do you feel guilt or regret?
- Thread starter Pink
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Hi, I don't feel guilt or regret but I do worry about the kids and what they think of me. That's my big worry. I need to hear them say "Mom, it's alright, you did what you needed to do and I'm ok with that". I may never hear it which is what I have to work out. I think when they see us both happy they will be glad.
SingleDad12
New member
I read somewhere on this forum....a quote from Oprah I believe...that it's better to come from a broken home than to live in one.
That makes so much sense!
I don't feel regret...as when I go home now, there is not that "cloud" hanging over everything. That pressure and tense feeling that I felt constantly. My daughter was 8 at the time...and even if they don't act like they notice...they do. Kids are so much more perceptive than we adults give them credit for.
Pursuinghappiness
New member
It was Dr Phil...lol.
He actually has some very interesting shows on divorcing parents and some good advice on his website about dealing with children and divorce before, during and after.
He actually has some very interesting shows on divorcing parents and some good advice on his website about dealing with children and divorce before, during and after.
SingleDad12
New member
I stand corrected! LOL.
I must have read a thousand pages on here in the past week...hard to keep it all straight!
My kids .... and their acceptance
My kids .... and their acceptance
Well, my kids are adults - in their 20's .... when I left (the first time) they were both angry at me! I couldn't imagine how they could be so angry at me and so supportive of their dad when he was a total cheater and liar. It really upset me. I felt alienated. Now that it's really over they say nothing to me. I have no idea if they say anything to him but they both told me they don't want to be involved. I have a sneaking suspicion that my daughter still sides with my husband. That makes me sad because I was a great mom and a dutiful wife .... but I was the one that left so i guess I'm the monster.
My kids .... and their acceptance
Well, my kids are adults - in their 20's .... when I left (the first time) they were both angry at me! I couldn't imagine how they could be so angry at me and so supportive of their dad when he was a total cheater and liar. It really upset me. I felt alienated. Now that it's really over they say nothing to me. I have no idea if they say anything to him but they both told me they don't want to be involved. I have a sneaking suspicion that my daughter still sides with my husband. That makes me sad because I was a great mom and a dutiful wife .... but I was the one that left so i guess I'm the monster.
murphyslaw
New member
My kids asked why I didn't leave sooner, and made me feel guilty for that, but hey that's how the cookie crumbles!
now i see the moon
New member
I regret that it didn't work between us. That it could have been so good. (like the Adele song--we could have had it all). But that was not to be and I miss what we used to be together, because it was good.
The kids are better than ever since we split. They have taken it completely in stride. totally unexpected on my part but wow. so guilt? Not at all. I know I gave it my best shot at honouring my life-long committment, but I couldn't do it without sacrificing myself.
The kids are better than ever since we split. They have taken it completely in stride. totally unexpected on my part but wow. so guilt? Not at all. I know I gave it my best shot at honouring my life-long committment, but I couldn't do it without sacrificing myself.
In Denial for over 40 years
In Denial for over 40 years
No guilt about leaving him, and no regrets, ever.
For over 40 years of marriage I refused to acknowledge the painful reality about the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I was in denial and put on a good show of everything being just fine, protecting my well-known husband in our small city.
The kids are now 39 and 37. They had no idea of the emotional trauma I went through. Now with the separation , I'm finally free and feeling hopeful, and the "self" I thought that was lost is now...found.
In Denial for over 40 years
No guilt about leaving him, and no regrets, ever.
For over 40 years of marriage I refused to acknowledge the painful reality about the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I was in denial and put on a good show of everything being just fine, protecting my well-known husband in our small city.
The kids are now 39 and 37. They had no idea of the emotional trauma I went through. Now with the separation , I'm finally free and feeling hopeful, and the "self" I thought that was lost is now...found.
billiechic
New member
I knew right from the day I made the decision that it was the right move. And the separation didn't happen until 6 weeks later! I have never felt guilty; this decision was made to give my daughter the chance to grow up with a happy mom, not a scared, wilting woman used to being stepped on.
The only regret I have is that I did not report the abuse to the police. That would have lent some credibility to my story, and perhaps taken a little power/control from my ex.
While things are far from perfect, she knows she has 2 parents who love her. And even if she still can still sense and feel the tension between us, I can be open with her and she can understand what it is about now. I dont have to hide anything, and can truly be the role model a mother should be. It was the main reason why I left, so she would not suffer, and hopefully she would learn what a "good" relationship looks like, and not just a "bad" one. I am happy to say that she now knows what it the good relationship looks like, and that disagreements do not mean screaming, and yelling and throwing things, but discussions, compromise and hugs afterwards.
The only regret I have is that I did not report the abuse to the police. That would have lent some credibility to my story, and perhaps taken a little power/control from my ex.
While things are far from perfect, she knows she has 2 parents who love her. And even if she still can still sense and feel the tension between us, I can be open with her and she can understand what it is about now. I dont have to hide anything, and can truly be the role model a mother should be. It was the main reason why I left, so she would not suffer, and hopefully she would learn what a "good" relationship looks like, and not just a "bad" one. I am happy to say that she now knows what it the good relationship looks like, and that disagreements do not mean screaming, and yelling and throwing things, but discussions, compromise and hugs afterwards.
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