Divorce & Child Support ! Please Help !

[Pursuinghappiness]

He probably didn't think he could get more. That type of order was probably the norm back then.

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Do you just come to this site to insult women?

Honestly if you hate women this much...why don't you just do us a favor and stop responding to female posts.

Because bottom line, women aren't coming here to be harassed by someone of your ilk and surely you have something better to do....i.e. therapy.

 

[rockscan]

People: theres a handy little button called IGNORE. Use it, love it, move on.

Also: stop feeding the trolls.

 

[LovingFather32]

You have to understand that there is a group of very bitter men here who loathe women...especially ones who move on happily with their lives with good men.

Geez, I hope I'm not included in your group of bitter men. I replied to this poster too, but had a different stance. I go by details given .. not gender.

 

[trinton]

Do you just come to this site to insult women?

Honestly if you hate women this much...why don't you just do us a favor and stop responding to female posts.

Because bottom line, women aren't coming here to be harassed by someone of your ilk and surely you have something better to do....i.e. therapy.

How was that an insult to her by any means?

Though I certainly think and feel your post amounts to an insult.

Nice try though.



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[Ange71727]

No, she should definitely get child support, I would file for CS in her position, it is pretty much a slam dunk.

I get the impression that she wants the divorce more than the CS. I think she can get both with not much of a fight at all.

Get CS ordered, get the divorce, and then let FRO fight with the father to extract some money from him. If they do, wonderful. If they don't, no real loss compared to the current situation.

I get a little pissy when people decide that their latest sexual partner is a parent, but that doesn't mean that the real dad shouldn't be paying CS in this situation. He left the kids, he should pay.

She clearly stated that she's been with him for 12 years so this isn't a latest sexual partner. I wouldn't worry about the CS even though you could get it. Anything to be done this mess quicker I would say.



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[Janus]

She has to go to trial. She won't get it all if she delayed persuing it knowing the current amound wasn't being paid. Almost as if she was guilty of keeping children in poverty by not doing anything about it.

Trinton, sometimes I feel like you are randomly spouting words.

They won't punish a parent for not seeking CS by denying further CS or denying a divorce. It doesn't make any sense.

"You didn't seek CS, which hurt the child, so we are going to deny further CS to the child. We are also going to deny the divorce, to help the child"

Where do you come up with this stuff?

 

[paris]

Isn't there already an order for child support? You said he is in arrears and FRO has previously suspended his license.

Use the original CS order to get your divorce.

 

[Sweetie79]

Isn't there already an order for child support? You said he is in arrears and FRO has previously suspended his license.

Use the original CS order to get your divorce.

Thank you Paris,
Yes you are correct, there is a previous order that dealt with custody and cs.
I filled for divorce yesterday. A court clerk explained to me how the process works. I have to serve the ex and swear an affidavit of service. 30 days after he is served if he doesn't respond/contest ( He won't), I have to file another batch of papers. Form 36 being one of them.

Question 11 of form 36 is as follow:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ I don't know per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ I don't know as I don't receive any per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7
expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Thank you Paris,
Yes you are correct, there is a previous order that dealt with custody and cs.
I filled for divorce yesterday. A court clerk explained to me how the process works. I have to serve the ex and swear an affidavit of service. 30 days after he is served if he doesn't respond/contest ( He won't), I have to file another batch of papers. Form 36 being one of them.

Question 11 of form 36 is as follow:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ I don't know per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ I don't know as I don't receive any per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7
expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

I would use the original numbers for a,b,c and for d) use none and list his arrears amount.

You have an order and you're not going to get an updated order unless he supplies new financial information...taxes, paystub....so you have to use what you had at the time of your agreement. Nor are you asking for a financial disclosure to update your previous agreement.

I don't see an issue here. You have an agreement and arrears don't hold up divorce actions. Now if you didn't have an order at all..that would be an unresolved issue and I can see the clerk's point. But that isn't the case.

 

[Sweetie79]

I don't see an issue here. You have an agreement and arrears don't hold up divorce actions. Now if you didn't have an order at all..that would be an unresolved issue and I can see the clerk's point. But that isn't the case.

Thank You !
I have been sitting, wondering if I would have to go through a huge messy process just to be able to get my divorce finalized !

 

[Janus]

Back on the first page I wrote:

Anyhow, I don't actually see your problem. The judges don't care if CS gets paid, they just care that CS is ordered to be paid.

I stand by that statement

 

[stripes]

Thank you Paris,
Yes you are correct, there is a previous order that dealt with custody and cs.
I filled for divorce yesterday. A court clerk explained to me how the process works. I have to serve the ex and swear an affidavit of service. 30 days after he is served if he doesn't respond/contest ( He won't), I have to file another batch of papers. Form 36 being one of them.

Question 11 of form 36 is as follow:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ I don't know per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ I don't know as I don't receive any per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7
expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

Use whatever numbers you've got. It doesn't make sense that you should have to stay married because your husband whom you haven't seen in years won't provide recent information. CS will be ordered, he won't pay, and you can decide whether you want to do something about that. But you will be divorced.

 

[Rioe]

I'd word it like this:

11 These are the arrangements that have been made for the support of the child(ren) of the marriage:
(a) The income of the party paying child support is $ unknown per year.
(b) The number of children for whom support is supposed to be paid is (number) 3.
(c) The amount of support that should be paid according to the applicable table in the child support guidelines is $ unknown per month.
(d) The amount of child support actually being paid is $ none per month.(Including section 7 expenses)

Now, I was told that because I have not been receiving cs, that the judge will not simply grant me the divorce. I apparently am going to have to go in front of a judge and will have to deal with cs all over again. I don't want to be stuck in court for 2-6 years to deal with cs again !!! He won't pay, I don't want to fight for it. I just want the divorce.

So what I really wanted to know is if this is true. Do I really have to go through all the bs about cs again? Will a judge deny or drag my divorce for years until cs or lack of payment gets dealt with?

Or do I just use the numbers $$$ from the original order to answer these questions ? Based on his income back then he was ordered to pay $610 of cs.

My divorce application had my ex paying zero CS and it went through just fine. It might have been because it was a joint application though? I recall a little section where you explain why CS differs from what it is supposed to be.

You should put a little explanatory bit in there, something along the lines of

Please see attached agreement from 2005 in which CS was initially determined. Ex has been absent from the children's lives for many years and FRO has been unable to collect CS as he rarely works. I am able to provide for the children well enough on my own and now simply seek the divorce.

 

[Berner_Faith]

I agree with Rio... Judges don't rule on whether CS is being paid, just that it is in the agreement.

Attached your last order and go from there. You will not need a trial... CS is the right of the child so if he disagrees, a Judge will rule on it anyways. But if he is on Welfare/not working, his CS would be $0 anyways.

 

[trinton]

Trinton, sometimes I feel like you are randomly spouting words.

They won't punish a parent for not seeking CS by denying further CS or denying a divorce. It doesn't make any sense.

"You didn't seek CS, which hurt the child, so we are going to deny further CS to the child. We are also going to deny the divorce, to help the child"

Where do you come up with this stuff?

I never said they were not going to order ongoing support. My comment was regarding the retroactive award she is seeking.

But now that you brought it up, If the father turns out to be on welfare, then I highly doubt much ongoing CS will be ordered. If he has a job, then yes it will be as per table amount.

If you have final order then yes you may get the divorce if proper measures are in place for child support. He doesn't even need to be there. In my case it was like that anyway, filed affidavit in support of divorce with final order attached and divorce was ordered.


But how can one possibly argue a divorce order to marry a new husband before ensuring proper child support is being paid? Is the new marriage more important than putting correct child support in place?

BTW, here is case law on current child support being paid requirement to grant a divorce

[9] I have no evidence before me that would allow me, having regard to the Federal Child Support Guidelines, to assess the reasonableness of arrangements for child support. I have no evidence of the parties’ current income. I have no evidence before me of arrangements made for the support of the child (assuming there is only one child of the marriage). I have no evidence before me of whether child support is being paid at a level commensurate with the payor parent’s income or at all.

[10] In the circumstances, I must dismiss the Plaintiff’s application, and stay the granting of a divorce until reasonable arrangements are made for the support of the child or children of the marriage or until the Court is satisfied that the spouses cannot, by reason of attendance circumstances, make any such arrangements such that this falls within the limited class of circumstances where a divorce may nonetheless be granted. (Savoia at para 32; Dumas v Dumas (1992), 1992 CanLII 6281 (AB QB), 43 RFL (3d) 260 (ABQB).)

CHild support should be being paid before divorce is granted it. But if you don't wish to bring that issue to the judge and say that the current child support is being paid, then you are saying "judge, I'm not being paid child support, but I'm saying I am being paid because I want to marry my new husband". Marrying my new husband is more important to me then ensuring the father is paying his child support. I have money to have a wedding but no money to enforce child support.




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[Sweetie79]

I'd word it like this:

My divorce application had my ex paying zero CS and it went through just fine. It might have been because it was a joint application though? I recall a little section where you explain why CS differs from what it is supposed to be.

Thank you Very much!
I will follow your advice and fill up the new forms as you have explained.
I really appreciate your help.

 

[Sweetie79]

I never said they were not going to order ongoing support. My comment was regarding the retroactive award she is seeking.

For the millionth time! I AM NOT SEEKING retroactive cs. What I am looking for is the opposite, I DON"T want to have to go through case conferences, settlements, trials and whatever other hoops courts make people jump through. I just want the divorce papers done.

But how can one possibly argue a divorce order to marry a new husband before ensuring proper child support is being paid? Is the new marriage more important than putting correct child support in place?

I have done what needed to be done. I went through court, got the original order put in place, signed up with FRO. They in turn have suspended his license (Years ago) and nothing has changed. He worked on and off while we were married and I doubt things have changed since we split. I don't care what he is up to or not up to. I moved on, end of discussion.
So according to you, I should stay married to him and hope he dies before I do so? That I have to become a widow and then move on with my life? What if I die before he does? Then I don't get to move on period? That is kinda of unfair don't you think? I am a grown adult, I should have the rights to divorce, marry or stay single. What I choose should not be linked to whether or not my ex chooses to pay cs or not, or whether he wants to be a present father or not.

CHild support should be being paid before divorce is granted it. But if you don't wish to bring that issue to the judge and say that the current child support is being paid, then you are saying "judge, I'm not being paid child support, but I'm saying I am being paid because I want to marry my new husband". Marrying my new husband is more important to me then ensuring the father is paying his child support. I have money to have a wedding but no money to enforce child support.

Please explain to me, why is it MY job to chase a grown man (49 yr old) that doesn't work and wants no responsibility towards his kids? I refuse to become the type of woman you guys seem to like to complain about. I refuse to be in court every 2 months, stressing, raising my blood pressure, making my heart condition even worse in order to collect cs from a dead beat. My kids deserve a happy and healthy mother. One that can work and help them in all their quests in life. Not one who is miserable, hospitalized or dead due to cs stress.
My responsibility is to my children not to my ex and as I explained before they have a happy, stable home. (Financially and emotionally stable)

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

For the millionth time! I AM NOT SEEKING retroactive cs. What I am looking for is the opposite, I DON"T want to have to go through case conferences, settlements, trials and whatever other hoops courts make people jump through. I just want the divorce papers done.



I have done what needed to be done. I went through court, got the original order put in place, signed up with FRO. They in turn have suspended his license (Years ago) and nothing has changed. He worked on and off while we were married and I doubt things have changed since we split. I don't care what he is up to or not up to. I moved on, end of discussion.
So according to you, I should stay married to him and hope he dies before I do so? That I have to become a widow and then move on with my life? What if I die before he does? Then I don't get to move on period? That is kinda of unfair don't you think? I am a grown adult, I should have the rights to divorce, marry or stay single. What I choose should not be linked to whether or not my ex chooses to pay cs or not, or whether he wants to be a present father or not.




Please explain to me, why is it MY job to chase a grown man (49 yr old) that doesn't work and wants no responsibility towards his kids? I refuse to become the type of woman you guys seem to like to complain about. I refuse to be in court every 2 months, stressing, raising my blood pressure, making my heart condition even worse in order to collect cs from a dead beat. My kids deserve a happy and healthy mother. One that can work and help them in all their quests in life. Not one who is miserable, hospitalized or dead due to cs stress.
My responsibility is to my children not to my ex and as I explained before they have a happy, stable home. (Financially and emotionally stable)

lol...forgive me for laughing but I had a similar experience with this poster lately.

I literally typed the same thing 10 times in response then realized he can't comprehend women's posts. He reads them from a place of complete loathing for women and the assumption that all women have ulterior motives all centered around ripping poor guys like him off.

We're all bad mothers who are trying to steal the kids and meet new kids that can become their step fathers....and none of us can figure out what's best for our children.

Its just pointless to bother responding....

You have every right to get divorced...

You have every right to decide to support your kids with your new family by yourself rather than waste your time chasing a financial deadbeat...

You have every right to be completely, blissfully happy with a new guy who loves you and your children...

And you have every right to decide what's best for you and your kids without interference from a biological parent who clearly isn't interested in participating in their lives.

Like I said, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone.

And your divorce action should be very easy...you'll be free to remarry in no time. Best of luck!

 

[Sweetie79]

I just wanted to update this in case someone else in the future encounters the same issue and needs an answer.

Thank you for all your help. I did all my paper work, used the original cs order amounts and attached a copy to my divorce application.

My divorce came through 3 months after and without me having to go in front of a judge. So 5 months in total from filing the 1st batch to receiving the divorce papers in the mail.

 

[piggybanktoex]

Wow Trinton, give it a rest. Over the top even for you.

The woman is doing right by her kids, period.

Can't get blood from a stone....no CS if no money. She seems to have got by without it. Should a parent pay for their kids, of course (even though guideline amounts are stupid sometimes and need adjustment).

Another man steps in and takes on the father figure role.....good on him. Not a replacement father, but a substitute father in this case.

Now a woman who gatekeeps, bleeds, or worse is another story.....this is not that story.

Just saying.