Hello Everyone,
I am new to this forum and I need some assistance. My story is a bit complicated so I will put it in order and I thank you in advance for all the help.
- Met ex in 1994 ( I was 15)
- Married ex in 1996
- Separated in January 2004
- 3 kids _ ages 2, 5 and 6 ( at this time )
- Court 2005 - I got full custody, he got visitation rights and cs amount was set.
- Between 2005 -2007 he would take the kids whenever he wanted, sometimes every 2 weeks other times he would go a month with taking them.
- Child support payments were as sporadic as his visitations until one of the times he came to pick up the kids and told me he needed to talk to me in private for a few minutes. I Stepped outside my house and he asked me if I was ever going back to him. When I said no, that was it. That was the last weekend he took the kids.
I Never took him back to court to enforce the child support. Without getting this story to be to long ... marriage was hell, he was irresponsible, never held down a job for long, was an alcoholic who was mentally , verbally and physically abusive towards me. It took me 10 long years to realize I was worth more than that. So no, there was no change in reconciliation.
- Fast forward to summer 2013. My kids were in Toronto, shopping and having fun with Grandma (my mom) they ran into ex in a mall. He apparently now wants a relationship with the kids again. I get a phone call from my mom telling me this nightmare story and she gives me his phone number. Kids come back home a the end of the day. The next morning I sit down with them and they tell me they want to reestablish a relationship with him. So I pick up the phone, call him and tell him the kids wants this and I won't stand in the way. I give him the home phone # and tell him they are now teens, I will not be involved in this, you want to see them, you call them.
- He called every week, saw them a few times, took them out to eat, movies and as much as part of me didn't want him around, I hoped he would have changed and would be serious about loving and being there for his kids. He was given a second chance (by his kids). Not every parent is that lucky. Well at the end of that summer he stopped seeing them.
- 2017, I got in touch with him ( the youngest has him on fb), I want to end this once and for all. I filed for divorce yesterday. I was informed that the 2nd batch of papers I will have to fill out in 30 days ( Form 36: Affidavit for Divorce) requires me to fill in the ex yearly income and cs amount being paid. It seems that once a judge sees no cs is being paid I will have to answer some questions and that my divorce can be denied until I go through a new cs order settlement or something.
He works on and off and he is on and off welfare. I don't want to go through this mess. You can't force someone to be a father, you can't take blood from a stone. I don't want to have this long dragged out process through court just to be told he owes 6 digits of back pay that I will never see. FRO already suspended his license back then.
I know cs is the right of the child so the child can have the same standard of living they had before the separation. The standard of living was non existent, welfare, food banks, eviction notices. Since the separation, a nice house, no eviction notices, no alcohol, no abuse. A step father who loves them and has been there raising them for 12 years.
I Just want a divorce, papers in 6 months, judges signature and voila. The ex won't context , he won't show up in court.
Is there a way for this not to turn into a 3 ring circus ? For me not to have to go through 2-5 yrs in court for money I don't want, need and will never see?
My current partner and I just got engaged, the kids couldn't be happier. He has been their dad for all these years. I just want that piece of paper nothing else .
Kids are now 18, 17 and 15.
Thank you for reading and any input is appreciated !
I am new to this forum and I need some assistance. My story is a bit complicated so I will put it in order and I thank you in advance for all the help.
- Met ex in 1994 ( I was 15)
- Married ex in 1996
- Separated in January 2004
- 3 kids _ ages 2, 5 and 6 ( at this time )
- Court 2005 - I got full custody, he got visitation rights and cs amount was set.
- Between 2005 -2007 he would take the kids whenever he wanted, sometimes every 2 weeks other times he would go a month with taking them.
- Child support payments were as sporadic as his visitations until one of the times he came to pick up the kids and told me he needed to talk to me in private for a few minutes. I Stepped outside my house and he asked me if I was ever going back to him. When I said no, that was it. That was the last weekend he took the kids.
I Never took him back to court to enforce the child support. Without getting this story to be to long ... marriage was hell, he was irresponsible, never held down a job for long, was an alcoholic who was mentally , verbally and physically abusive towards me. It took me 10 long years to realize I was worth more than that. So no, there was no change in reconciliation.
- Fast forward to summer 2013. My kids were in Toronto, shopping and having fun with Grandma (my mom) they ran into ex in a mall. He apparently now wants a relationship with the kids again. I get a phone call from my mom telling me this nightmare story and she gives me his phone number. Kids come back home a the end of the day. The next morning I sit down with them and they tell me they want to reestablish a relationship with him. So I pick up the phone, call him and tell him the kids wants this and I won't stand in the way. I give him the home phone # and tell him they are now teens, I will not be involved in this, you want to see them, you call them.
- He called every week, saw them a few times, took them out to eat, movies and as much as part of me didn't want him around, I hoped he would have changed and would be serious about loving and being there for his kids. He was given a second chance (by his kids). Not every parent is that lucky. Well at the end of that summer he stopped seeing them.
- 2017, I got in touch with him ( the youngest has him on fb), I want to end this once and for all. I filed for divorce yesterday. I was informed that the 2nd batch of papers I will have to fill out in 30 days ( Form 36: Affidavit for Divorce) requires me to fill in the ex yearly income and cs amount being paid. It seems that once a judge sees no cs is being paid I will have to answer some questions and that my divorce can be denied until I go through a new cs order settlement or something.
He works on and off and he is on and off welfare. I don't want to go through this mess. You can't force someone to be a father, you can't take blood from a stone. I don't want to have this long dragged out process through court just to be told he owes 6 digits of back pay that I will never see. FRO already suspended his license back then.
I know cs is the right of the child so the child can have the same standard of living they had before the separation. The standard of living was non existent, welfare, food banks, eviction notices. Since the separation, a nice house, no eviction notices, no alcohol, no abuse. A step father who loves them and has been there raising them for 12 years.
I Just want a divorce, papers in 6 months, judges signature and voila. The ex won't context , he won't show up in court.
Is there a way for this not to turn into a 3 ring circus ? For me not to have to go through 2-5 yrs in court for money I don't want, need and will never see?
My current partner and I just got engaged, the kids couldn't be happier. He has been their dad for all these years. I just want that piece of paper nothing else .
Kids are now 18, 17 and 15.
Thank you for reading and any input is appreciated !
