So, you are a qualified child psychologist and can provide statements from a minor child statements of truth that the mother in question is "absolutely horrible"?
I do have medical background, as a matter of fact. However, my opinion of horrible behaviour hardly takes a degree. Anyone can make this claim, it is clearly an opinion and I gave an example, both here and on other posts, of what I am describing. If others do not consider this to be bad behaviour, that is their opinion.
Why have you not acted on this to protect the child in question through the family courts? You seem very assertive and definite on the statements made against the other parent in the matter.
I/we (my husband) have. As I stated before, it seems no one really cares. I read on this site a few weeks ago someone said if the 'behaviour/abuse' is not so bad that if you were dead and the parent was single, would CAS actually take the child away? I thought this was wonderful advice and something to think about. Just because the behaviour is bad, does not mean that I am saying I feel the child (MY STEP-SON) should be taken from his mother. I do think however, that he has been place under tremendous stress by her and his siblings and grandma intensional over the past few years.
But, you claim to have "evidence" to the "absolutely horrible" other parent? Have you contacted the CAS about your concerns? Has the actual parent in the matter to the child in question brought forward your grave concerns about the "absolutely horrible" other parent to the Family Court?
Yes, these issues were all but dismissed. As I have written on other posts, when we tried to discuss these issues with the OCL, they cut us off and said it was hearsay. We asked the OCL investigator if he would like to see some of the emails from the past 2 years, he declined. Then he had the nerve in his report to state 'emails between the parties show no conflict. They are able to communicate.' WTF?!?! We are not aware of what emails he is refering to at all??? And yes, this was all brought before the judge, who took 15 min to rule in favour of the OCL report.
100 messages over two years...
2 years is 730 days. (2 * 356 = 730)
100 messages over 730 days is an average of 0.13698630137 messages a day. The horrors of this "absolutely horrible" other parent. How do you cope with such conflict and harassment?
Where did you learn to do math??
100 messages over 730 days is 1 example every 7.3 days. And yes, I support the fact that we have had some sort of incident at least once a week (on average) for the past 2 years. I said 'examples' not messages. Weather its his oldest kids emails, his ex's emails, something we heard from the child, whatever, it is examples of the 'horrible behaviour' of his mother.
Note the red, bold and underlined word in that quote. The child in question is not yours. Might I suggest that this might be part of *your* problem, reason for being and posting on this site and challenge/conflict you are "experiencing".
I never said he is my child. I will not even entertain such stupidity. Also, please show me an example (as you frequently ask of others) of any judge anywhere who has look 'unfavouralbe' at someone refering to a child as 'my step-son'. I'm waiting.
In fact, at 12 a child's opinion on residential location DOES matter and WILL be heard by a court and given weight.
I am very well aware of this. My point, is that this was not appropriate in anyway to tell a 9 year old (you are the one who always wants to focus on the children). It is true that a court will hear their opinion, but NOT that a child HAS to chose between his parents at the age of 12, which is what MY poor step-son was told. Are you actually suggesting that this is appropriate to tell a 9 year old? He came to us crying because he thought he would either not see us, or not see his mom ever again after the age of 12.
Did you consider that probably half of the other kids the child of your husband (father) and the child's mother are living seperate and apart. That the child in question may have talked to a friend. A friend may have communicated this. The child may have talked to the "horribly awful" other parent about this and that was about it?
Your agrument here is weak....again. I am stating a FACT that I would swear to in court, that MY STEP-SON came to us crying stating, 'Mom keeps asking me which school I want to go to. She says when I'm 12 I have to decide who I want to live with.' Under the circumstances of our situation, which you have not lived through for the past 2+ years, this made perfect sense to us, and we never questioned who said what to him.
I challenge you to bring forward a motion on a "material change in circumstance" and request the involvement of an S.30 evaluator (CLRA Rule) and/or OCL and present your "evidence".
We did. It did not help. We discussed many issues, offered evidence, none of it seemed to matter. Again, with a hundred examples, I really don't know what you want to hear. OCL was aware that his oldest kids, who are adults, were given all emails between them and court documents. They were also interviewed by the OCL investigator, as was I, which I would say makes me pretty involved in the situation. And yes, the OCL investigator wanted my opinion on matters regarding the parents.
1. Your husband, who is the legal parent to the child in question hasn't contacted the CAS about "weekly" and "literal" "abuse"?
What for? Its emotional abuse. Unlike his ex, we are not high conflict. We do not think it is in his best interests to be taken from his mother. We have only ever asked for equal time share. We think if the OCL and the courts did not seem to care, why would the CAS?
2. Again, the child in question is not "your child". The parental responsibility of the child in question lies with the father and mother. Children are not property.
Get a life. He is MY STEP-SON. I don't believe this implies I own him. Stick with the agruments/discussions at hand and you would get more respect.
(a) Go on motion, attach the emails to an affidavit demonstrating involvement of the "oldest kids" in the matter to the court?
Done, they don't care.
(b) Call CAS and provide them with the emails you claim are happening?
See my above statement re. CAS.
Yet, what have you don't to protect the children in question from the "suffering"? Or are you just lamenting?
We took him to councelling (by we, I should say my husband). When the councellor asked him at the very first interview, 'what are your concerns?' MY STEP-SON'S response was 'my brother spends to much money in gas to drive me to school' And yes this was brought to the judges attention as well.
The mother and brother had been complaining to MY nine year-old step-son about how much it cost them to drive him to school after the mother moved 30 min away because she did not get what she wanted in court and MY STEP-SON was ordered to stay in his same school blocks from our home. So they spent the next year filling his head with crap like this to get him so stressed to say he wanted to change schools. Judge did not care. Changed his school and assess schedule on an emergency motion in 15 minutes time.
Well, an email sent to a child by a parent containing court documentation is not "hearsay". So either you don't have the evidence or don't know what "hearsay" is.
The children in question are adult children. You always speak about 'relavant' evidence. I'm not sure how relevant this issue is to MY STEP-SON. It was in affidavit about the lack of communication between oldest kids and mother putting them in middle, emails, etc. Guess it did not matter.
An email, that has a full trace route of the header from sender to receiver that has a carbon copy to a child is not "hearsay". It is cogent and relevant evidence.
Your "alleged conversation" with children is "hearsay". Unless the child confirms the conversation and concerns to the OCL that were expressed to you... It is "hearsay" (also known as "he said - she said" and possibly in your matter "what you said and what the other parent said")
Yes, thank-you. I know what hearsay is. This incidence took place after OCL investigation and the incidence prior to this were not investigated by the OCL. OCL said they would not discuss anything about this type of thing with child because it would place them under so much stress, which I agree, it would. Are you actually suggesting I get we get the child to sign sworen statement everytime he tells us something? Or ask the judge to put him on the stand?
Actually, as posted by another litigant as stated by a respective justice... "Its all about perception".
If conflict is happening as you stated, then the evidence to the conflict and origination of the conflict has a clear paper trail. But, if you perceive the other party to be conflicted without evaluating your own contribution and possibly conflicted actions... You may not notice when you are creating the conflict.
I absolutely am creating the conflict!!!! 100%!!!! My being alive and having had a child by my husband is what has created conflict in the first place!!! Separation was going fine until hubby got together with me!
Suffice to say, calling someone horrible, abusive, and the other words used in your own message don't lead to no conflict. In fact, they lead directly to CONFLICT. Furthermore, they may demonstrate the party who may be causing the conflict in the matter... Just a hypothesis.
Yes, if I/we were making those claims directly to her, it would create more conflict. Saying them on a forum, don't think so.
Unless the "kids" are over 21, that is... Maybe.
