My ex-girlfriend and I were together for about 2.5 years, our son was born 8 months ago. I moved into her Dad's house the moment we found out she was pregnant, at that time I was the only one bringing in income to support her throughout the pregnancy and took her to all appointments.
Start documenting that you did this. The dates of the appointments, with what clinicians you saw, and as a custodial parent with "joint custody" you can get the medical records from these clinicians to backup your claims. You can request copies of your child's medical records.
One month before the birth of our son, we moved into my parents house. We had happily lived here and raised our son here till last week when she decided to up and leave.
Technically, the mother removed your child from their primary residence without your consent and against your wishes. She basically took the law into her own hands and may possibly be in violation of Section 283.(1) of the criminal code of Canada. (This is extreme but, pointing out the current law your access to the child is governed by until proceedings happen in Family Court).
She was on welfare since his birth and I was bringing in extra income with freelancing design jobs until I got a full time job 3 months ago. Also my parents supported us a lot, majority of the time we were there- they supplied all diapers, wipes, formula etc.
Collect the receipts from your parents proving that they provided this additional support and all your evidence to your support of the child. Don't just say you did it... Prove it with *evidence*. Receipts, bank account statements, etc. Get it all put together.
Anyway, she went to her mothers last week for "space", I was even courteous enough to drop her off. The next day I dropped off a few of the baby things she needed, and brought her some extra formula- I briefly got to see my son outside for 10 minutes or so.
Often parents do not understand the law and the rights of both parents. You have equal right to love and care for this child under the Criminal Code of Canada and the Children's Law Reform Act. Consult a lawyer as soon as possible on how to distil the oncoming challenges.
A few days later she had decided the relationship was over, I drove over to her house and knocked on her door to speak to her- after being denied that, I asked to at least see my son- I was also denied that. I left.
Access denial. Document the date and time you requested access to your child. Continue to request access and collect the evidence to the denial of access by the other parent.
Yesterday it had been one week since I'd seen him, she had told me I can bring all her stuff over and see him with the supervision of her mother- I agreed to that.
Assuming you are no risk of emotional and/or physical harm to her or the child there is no reason you shouldn't be allowed to equally care for the child in accordance with the above stated Acts and Laws.
Once I got there, only her mother was there and told me their lawyer suggested not letting my son or her have any contact with me till the court date.
Did you get service of the documentation?
She said they already filed for custody because they feared I was planning to take him away from them or flee the country with him. She also mentioned there's no way they would ever allow me to have 50/50 custody of him and would fight all the way even if it got dirty. I kept my cool, and left once again.
Make sure you document the time, date and who said this all to you and prepare it for your affidavit in response. Get a lawyer now.
Worst thing is, my brothers getting married next month and family that I only see every 5-6 years is coming over. They were all excited to see the little bundle of joy and I really wanted to introduce him to them- but seems that wont happen now.
Do you have the court documentation? You should have been served. Also, you can probably request and emergency motion to fix the custody and access issues. GET A GOOD LAWYER.
Alright now that I'm done with the huge back story, as you can see, I'm being denied access to my son. I have briefly spoke to a lawyer for advice but I was just wondering... what kind of custody agreements are usually decided in situations like this? I mean the child has lived in my house up until now, can she really keep him away from me like this?
50-50 full joint custody is what you legally have now. Just because the mother thinks not it is not the fact. In fact, they are on the borderline of child abduction. I would contact CAS to see what they can do. Both parents are equally responsible for their children.
I want to fight for 50/50 custody, with weeks alternating. I believe its the only fair way to share bonding time with our son. I don't want to loose out on his life. What are the chances of this actually happening?
Don't fight. Position for 50-50 which is the defacto custody and access under the law. Unless the other parent can prove otherwise you shouldn't be an equal care giver. You should be an equal care giver. Don't fight for what is already the fact and law.
Also at the time of birth I was not put on the birth certificate and the child has her last name, will this affect my case in anyway?
Your paternity will be challenged.
Anyway, any advice or insight would greatly be appreciated.
Thanks
The removal of a child without consent or a court order is a serious undertaking of any litigant in a family matter. You have a challenge in that they may claim your paternal rights don't exist and that you are not the father.
Good Luck!
Tayken
