Defeating an unfair and biased OCL report

paco

paco

New member
hello, I'm a father of a 8 years old girl and a 2 years old boy, I'm separated from my ex since Nov.2012, she took the kids away from me at that time with no reason or explanation, she carefully planed this ahead of time calling the police 2 times in the summer of 2012 with no reasons just to build her case against me. I proposed her many alternative options in order to get a separation agreement, she refused everything. It appears that she was advised to flee with the kids to a shelter in order to create a status quo situation which most judges don't want to change. After she fled she refused access to the kids, I filled for an emergency motion in December 2012, just before Christmas, and the judge gave me access every Saturdays ans Sundays, and judge asked OCL to start an investigation. OCL finished their investigation in September 2013 and this investigation was conducted improperly, unfair and biased, in mother's favor, they recommend sole custody for mother and father just access. They didn't provide any motivation for their recommendations saying just the parents don't communicate each other making a joint decission complicated for children, but is my ex who doesn't communicate knowing that the judge most likely will award her sole custody. Now, my case conference is coming next month and I need an advise on what's best to attack OCL report considering that I'm representing my self now, I let my lawyer go back in October because she doesn't want to fight that report. I consider that report totally unfair and they didn't consider my concerns regarding parental alienation to my daughter from her mother and grandmother side. I kept notes for every single day my daughter was alienated and these were not taken in consideration by the OCL investigator, in my affidavit I'm requesting joint custody 50/50 of time. Please need an advise from you of how to defeat this OCL report. Thank you.

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What did the OCL report recommend for access time? If it's alienation you are worried about, then access time, not who picks the school and takes to doctor visits, is your primary concern.
 
OCL recommended sole custody to mother and increasing access to father, adding more nights, every 6 months, until full access standard schedule will be reached: every Wednesday night and every other weekend from Friday evening 'till Monday morning. Another recommendation is for father to attend parenting counseling sessions, but I believe this is came at my ex advise at the disclosure meeting which unfair and biased. I'm looking for cross-examination the OCL investigator as there are too many inaccuracies and deficiencies in her report, I would appreciate any input in this regard please. A case conference is scheduled next month, can I ask the judge to hold on the custody order until trial and concentrate on cross-examination of all witnesses? My concerns are that my ex will continue to alienate the kids and making false allegations against me to police and CAS.

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"full access standard schedule"

Now THAT's a load of BS. Full? Standard?

A warning - nothing can stop your ex from alienating your kids.

To make it worth your while, I'd fight this on the basis of the access schedule, not custody.
 
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Well, it should be read "access schedule", those were my extra words, sorry for that.

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My advice would be to stop the alienation angle and play the best interest of the kids angle... Equal parenting.
 
This is exactly what I'm looking for, joint custody, it's in my kids best interest. But again, how to have equal parenting when OCL recommended sole custody for mother?

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paco said:
This is exactly what I'm looking for, joint custody, it's in my kids best interest. But again, how to have equal parenting when OCL recommended sole custody for mother?

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Having never been in that situation I can only say what I would do.

You basically have to prove "WITH EVIDENCE" that the report is incorrect.

Pick out every reason given that the other parent should have sole custody and prove that the assumptions made in the report were not correct "WITH EVIDENCE" You cannot just say something you have to prove it.

If you plan on taking this to trial you better be prepared to spend 40 hours a week researching and gathering relevant evidence as well as preparing.

Go to court and watch other cases as you are going to have know the rules of the court and how to act in front of the judge.

I can tell you that trying to prove the other parent did this and that is not what you should do. You should be proving that you are an equal and deserve the right to be treated as such.

For example you mentioned communication. What proof can you provide that it's her causing the communication problems and you are doing EVERYTHING you can to try and communicate.
 
paco said:
This is exactly what I'm looking for, joint custody, it's in my kids best interest. But again, how to have equal parenting when OCL recommended sole custody for mother?

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Look up WorkingDad and what he did. He had a similar OCL report, he argued it and won.

You need to be child centric. Also, you need to argue the ex has created a false status quo with her unilateral decisions to remove the kids and her unwillingness to communicate. That you want to work with the ex, and can communicate with her respectfully. Then you prove it by showing your emails to the ex (from this point forward, you only call her to speak to the kids or in emergency) where you are respectful and requesting information relating to the kids.

But also be involved in the kids lives. If they are in activities, see about coaching. Do what you can to be as involved as possible. Go to their school, volunteer etc. When it comes to your ex, should she ask you a question that doesn't have a "yes" or "no" answer, you politely ask her to email you and you will get back to her asap if necessary.

But it is possible. You need to be child centric and you need to get over any defeatist attitude you may have.
 
There is an email where she's saying that to not further contact her,either writing or speaking, so I stop contacted her beeing afraid of possible harassing allegations.

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paco said:
There is an email where she's saying that to not further contact her,either writing or speaking, so I stop contacted her beeing afraid of possible harassing allegations.

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Sending ONE email regarding the children is not harassment. Keep it polite and on point. Write it as if you are talking to a judge.

Time to be honest here. How many emails did you send her and what did they say....
 
Yes hammerdad, thank you, this is encouraging, she created a false status quo by manipulation and deceit, and this is what I'm going to fight.

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FB, she banned me for contacting her furthermore, it's not just about one or more emails here.

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I don't know why, she's paranoid, she always claimed that she's afraid of me, she accused me in the past that I wanted to kill her on one occasion, making her car brakes inoperable. At time I went with her and the car to a mechanic which explained her that was normal wear and tear of the breaking piston that made possible a failure of a gasket resulting in loosing of the breaking fluid. So this is just an example of what I'm dealing with.

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paco said:
FB, she banned me for contacting her furthermore, it's not just about one or more emails here.

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If you can't communicate with your ex *at all*, joint custody can't work. Even exes who really can't stand each other manage to find ways to communicate necessary information about the child.

As the other posters have said, you need to be child-centirc here, and you need to show that you are able and willing to work with your ex. Given that you've got at least two incidents of police involvement, your ex taking refuge in a shelter, an OCL report followed by a court order for sole custody for her, and a recommendation for parenting counselling for you, that's going to be an uphill battle. I'm not saying that all of these things are justified, but the fact that they form part of your record is going to make this a long struggle for you.

My suggestions are:

1. Go to parenting counselling. You may think you don't need it (no one ever thinks they need it), but it shows that you are willing to work and co-operate.

2. Get some form of communication with your ex going. One way to do this would be with the help of a professional mediator. You could set out some ground rules, like sending no more than one email a day, emails will only address issues relating to the children, no text or phone calls unless it's a grave emergency. Your ex might not want to mediate or abide by a mediated agreement, but it's important to show you are trying.

3. Have a closer look at the access schedule proposed by the judge. Can you live with this? In six months, you will have your children every other weekend and Wednesday night. That's much better than what you have now. I would stop trying to think in terms of "attacking" the OCL report or proving parental alienation, and think of what you can do to ensure that access goes smoothly and you can scale up to having more regular contact with your kids.

4. Are you paying child support? If not, time to start.
 
I've always wondered if you could agree to a schedule on a without prejudice basis for a certain period of time until you could prove that you can cooperate. Unfortunately this also gives your ex and opportunity to continue to try and sabotage your attempts.

Yes I get this is what a temporary order is. I'm meaning more along the lines of a trial period for the judge with someone watching and seeing what happens... I'm guessing there aren't enough resources for this.
 
Stripes, I believe that this matter with counselling is a make up from my ex counsel and OCL to prove that I might have some issues, I don't have any issues, why should I attend counseling and my ex not?! Yes I pay CS.

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My access now is limited to every Wednesdays from 5pm to 8pm, and every other weekend from Saturday 10am till Sunday 8pm. We had an agreement signed last September.

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My ex is has fabricated the 'unable to cooperate' scenario also. Refused even to be in same room as me and mediator, even with her lawyer present. In the past 2+ years we sit on parent council together, work on common events, attend school outings together with our young child ... but she has recently gone apeshit about us taking pictures of such happy times. Gosh I wonder why.

You have to go down a very dark road of 'attacking the mom' in order to fight this. It's very hard to appear child-centric when you are doing this. And I personally doubt that you will be successful in obtaining the joint custody, even though it sounds like you are right it is a fabrication to build a false status quo.

Fight instead for time.

WorkingDAD's case was extraordinary - the ex has SERIOUS mental issues - so I don't think it is very useful as a precedent for many.
 
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