Defacto custody and relocation

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MommaBear73 said:
I am a SAHM at the moment as I have a 4 month old. I can leave the province for a business trip if I want, I just can't move the kids out of here. Also, in his 'new' order he wants me to ask his permission if I want to leave the province with them even just to go visit friends for a few days.
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This sounds unreasonable. A control issue? A father who doesn't want to pay CS, doesn't live in the same area, but wants total control over you and the child. That's nuts. If this was to go to a court, would this be accommodated?
 
From what I have been told, no Judge would order what he is asking for. The only way it would go through is if I agree to it, which I won't. He's quite mad at me right now as the first time I pretty much agreed to everything as I had no lawyer and no clue what my rights were.
I do have someone here to watch my kiddies, so am not sure how I would cope if I were in your situation. How long is the internship?
 
It's 1 year long and it's a lottery so if the computer spits out a town, I have to go there unless there are some crazy personal circumstances. So I'm looking into options, just what you suggested - a counsellor and a lawyer. If I have to go, it's going to be unpleasant for everyone. There's no one around here to watch them but dads and I'm not too comfortable with that. Plus, they'll have to be separated, moved in with dads etc.

If I knew this would happen, I probably wouldn't have started with school. But it's too late now, it's a prof degree, if I drop out, I'll be paying OSAP back for the rest of my life instead of saving for my kids' future.
 
Zhoozhelitsa said:
I got some good advice and thank you for that but most of the things I say is turning out evil and unreasonable in your eyes. Not sure why you can't see my perspective on things at all. Maybe because it looks like it's a guys place to complain.

I'm not trying to start a battle. If i wanted to, i would have gotten thru courts with them already and took whatever belongs to me (child support, sole custody etc). I didn't, as we have been able to agree on things and this way no one is fighting or hating each other.

I did read a few court orders or whatever you call it when the mother was allowed to move the kids even out of the country because she has been the one to care for the kids from the beginning and the fathers were not too involved. It didn't seem all that complicated. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, we'll cross that if we ever get to it in the first place.
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Oh my fucking god I am so sick of hearing that because I disagree with a poster who happens to be female that I must be male. I do not have a penis, nor do I need one to disagree with you.

I don't see your perspective on it because I'm not a selfish mother who thinks my children don't have a right to see there father as much and as easily as possible. I don't see your perspective because I don't believe that I can buy my children happiness with material things to replace their father. And mostly I don't see your perspective because anyone who paints an entire gender with one brush is an idiot.

I hope you haven't paid a lot for your education because it clearly isn't helping you where you need it the most.

There's your 'woman's perspective.'
 
No kidding. Bravo!

When the going gets tough, some women wrap (no make that coddle) themselves in the woe is us, you could never understand what it's like to...be a self centred know it all who has the boob tools and the downstairs plumbing that entitles herself to every God given custody right under the sun.

Puke my fucking guts out.

And Lord lift us if a man ever calls herself out for such shameless behaviour for reasons that are so obvious they don't require clarfication.

I was going to jump in and tell zoolander that blink is a woman, like I (and many others) have done many times after that crazy presumption is made by other idiots. But I'm damn glad I waited for her to do it herself. She said it in spades.
 
LOL this is entertaining.

"...and the image of the saintly Mother Blinkie was somewhat marred by the little trickles of venom running down from her chin as she was anonymously calling names a stranger at a public discussion forum...". That was a great visual, thank you.

Seriously though, I have paid a lot for education and it's a marvelous thing. What it does is it makes you realize that there are some people who do not accept your advice and it's perfectly ok. I suggest you try this.

Anyhow. This thread has turning sour and it's time to close it down. I validate everyone's point, dismiss the venomous ones, and thank some of you (Mess especially) for useful info.
 
Zhoozhelitsa said:
Possibly. So let me learn on my mistakes. Why call people idiots and tell them to use their effing head and similar things?
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Because the idea of advising someone to thank someone else for caring for your kids when that same someone won't even allow you to come near them is so ludicrous that you must not have had your head about you when you said it.
 
dadtotheend said:
Because the idea of advising someone to thank someone else for caring for your kids when that same someone won't even allow you to come near them is so ludicrous that you must not have had your head about you when you said it.
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Ok, so you thought my idea was a bad idea and you did not agree with it which resulted in you further proceeding with name calling. My assumption is, people who you do not agree with are idiots, is this correct?

PS Sorry this is just too much fun!
 
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