I've just come up with a few other creative ways in which I've been able to manage some of the stress and depressive aspects of the family court struggle which I'd like to share
Videos
I've taken a bunch of our old vacation videos (just me and the kids, not the X) and I've edited them and set them to music with some of my daughters favorite songs.
I watch this videos when I feel the need to spend time with her (which is quite often), when I am missing her, or when the work involved in this process seems overwhelming.
Watching the videos causes one or more of the following things to happen;
1. I feel happy in being able to see her again
2. I feel sad that I haven't not been able to see her for so long
3. I remember all the wonderful times which happened alongside those videos and the fun we shared together
4. I look forward to being able to create more memories with her again in the future
5. I miss her, so terribly and that it causes me to feel hurt, sadness, emptiness and grief at this time we've been forced apart.
6. I feel inspired in my pain to make sure that what has happened to us can never happen again, and it gives me the strength to keep on fighting the good fight
7. I see so many reflections of myself in her appearance, actions and personality it helps me to remember the influence I have had on her life, and how important I am to her as a mother and role model
8. I feel pride in being the mother of such a sweet, comedic, creative little treasure of a girl
9. I feel a sense of reconfirmation in my actions in her life, in court and I know that what I am fighting for is worth every stress and heartache which I have to endure
10. I remember our singing these same songs, watching the movies where some of these songs come from, and how these moments are our moments, the special mother/daughter moments which we share and memories which will last forever.
I cry while watching these videos at times; but it is a good cry, a cry which is needed to purge the internal sadness which I wear heavy in my heart every moment of the day.
These videos have become my comfort, my method of purging sadness, and my inspiration; they keep me optimistic and give me strength.
Cleaning to Music
Cleaning, organizing and decorating my home have been something which had been placed on the back burning for many months when this mess had started; the evidence of my stress could be seen in the maintenance of my house.
There had come a point, this summer, where I realized that this court process may take much longer then I had realized, and that I had to find a way to carry on with life (not be robbed of life by 'him' while I am in wait for justice), take control of that which I could control (my house and my life [outside of the court process]), and bring back a sense of normality and stability which my daughter can come home to when this is all over- in short I had to clean the house.
By placing the act of cleaning to music, I could listen to songs which reflected how I felt (angry songs when angry, celebratory songs when happy, etc) and random music which I had enjoyed during better times in life, I was able to achieve the following effect;
1. emotional purging through specific songs and/or types of music
2. physical purging of frustrations through physical activities
3. reestablishing some sense of order in my life
4. obtaining a sense of satisfaction in my accomplishments (decorating)
5. finding treasured memories which had been in boxes or misplaced
Through these things my stress was greatly decreased, my over all sense of wellbeing increased, and by removing the clutter from my house I found that constant feelings of frustration and of loss of control which had become unusually predominant in my life had become situational once more.
I was feeling better, ergo I was doing better
Please feel free to share any of the coping strategies you have developed for yourself which may help others
Thanks!
