Deadbeat dad flees to Philippines leaving four kids without support

[sahibjee]

what most people are forgetting here is that he WAS paying CS until the "indirect order of eviction" came from the judge, he is NOT fully employed right now and therefore cant send support payments. thats called material change in circumstances, the same stuff her ex used against him to get the vicious court order.

you also have to remember that in essence the court drove him out of the country and he is now forced to start a new life, that does come with major expenses, since he WAS paying CS before his eviction, he deserves to be given a clean chit on the "deadbeat" allegation.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Based on 2012 tax guidelines in Ontario, after taxes and child/spousal support this father will have $2079 in which he must also have a residence for 4 children and feed them while they are at his place, 4 kids but lets say minimum of a 3 bedroom house which would probably be around $1200 a month. So now he has $879 a month, and with this he must get to work, even public transit is at least $100 a month. So after everything he is left with nothing. His ex is living in a million dollar house on the waterfront and gets the kids full time, and he gets to live in a dump and barely afford to live. No wonder the guy left, yeah kids are a mothers and fathers responsibility but it should not mean that one parent has no quality of life and the other lives in a million dollar house.

It was a temp order...no doubt he needed to continue to fight it...even if he had to pay the just the child support and let the SS go into arrears.

You don't leave 4 kids because your ex has a nicer house than you do. And quality of life isn't decided by your material possessions either. I'd have ZERO quality of life living without my children.

he deserves to be given a clean chit on the "deadbeat" allegation.

Calling bull on that..sorry but he took off, doesn't see his kids at all and pays nothing now. I read through fairly quickly...did I miss the part where the article said that he tries to send whatever he can to his kids every month from the Philippines. Unless I read incorrectly, it sounds like he sends nothing.

He doesn't see his children....and it sounds like these are kids that really really need a dad. If that's not a deadbeat, I guess I don't know what is.

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[fireweb13]

He doesn't see his children....and it sounds like these are kids that really really need a dad. If that's not a deadbeat, I guess I don't know what is.

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All kids need their father, maybe if their mother recognized this and our judicial system also recognized this the children would have a father. Instead he is just a paycheque for this woman and she is taking full advantage of that even if it makes her children suffer.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

what most people are forgetting here is that he WAS paying CS until the "indirect order of eviction" came from the judge, he is NOT fully employed right now and therefore cant send support payments. thats called material change in circumstances, the same stuff her ex used against him to get the vicious court order.

Not arguing the guy needs to get the court order changed. But 4 kids need money to live. Its a temp order...go to court...present evidence and keep trying. You don't take off and leave your kids because you didn't get what you wanted in one trial.

You also can't make the argument that he "was" paying support. If someone starved their kids and said "well I WAS feeding them before"...they'd still be going to prison. Kids needed to eat yesterday, they need to eat today, they'll need to eat tomorrow.

Silly argument in my opinion. Not saying the mom isn't wretched too but this guy is a total deadbeat by every definition possible. I really feel a lot of sympathy for these poor children.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

All kids need their father, maybe if their mother recognized this and our judicial system also recognized this the children would have a father.

The only person responsible for this guy's actions is him.

 

[fireweb13]

The only person responsible for this guy's actions is him.

Agreed, I am not saying he made the right decision by any means. I am saying he made a decision when he was most likely at his lowest point in his life. Because our system has allowed them to keep fighting it has created a me vs you problem, and he lost and he felt backed into a corner. At least the kids still have a father, alot of kids whose fathers have been in his situation do not have fathers anymore.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Fireweb:

I'm not in any way defending what this mother did. The whole idea of retroactive spousal support is absolutely ridiculous...especially in this case.

I understand that he was probably desperate but that's all I can understand. To me, he chose a path for one purpose...to punish his ex...without any regard for his children at all. On the other side, she exploits her own children in this article to punish him.

These are two people who seriously have zero regard for the children that they brought into the world. In most cases, at least one parent can put their kid's needs in front of their own. These kids have no one who thinks of them first.

And I'm sorry but these kids do not have a father because he's not meeting any of the behavior criteria that the label implies.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

For some strange reason, when I was watching all the coverage of the Philippines this weekend, I thought of this guy.

I wonder if he regrets not being in Canada with his kids right now.

By the way, my heartfelt condolences to anyone with friends or family in the Philippines. I'm going to make a contribution to the disaster relief today.