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fireweb13

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I send my support through online banking to my ex. Unfortunatly I work the same hours as FRO is open and I cannot make a call to them because of this. I sent my CS on the 16th of January as I do every month. My ex is claiming she has not received it yet. She has been emailing me constantly about this and claiming that FRO is looking for me and so on and so forth yet I have no phone calls to my home or work numbers from them. It is to the point of harrassment, while I understand that it is frustrating for her and I am sympethitic of this but we are in FRO because she refused to give recipts and claimed that I did not pay support.
So I decided to print out an online banking statement, black out all other info that was confidential but left the FRO payment. Then I scanned and emailed it to her. Now she is claiming that the documents are a fake because I left out any personal info like account numbers and stuff like that. Would FRO contact me if there was an issue? I would contact them but again, I cannot call from work to do so and am not to eager to take a day off work to make this call. Any advice?
 
So you send the payments to FRO, right? If that's the case, then it's FRO's responsibility to forward the payments to her. As long as you make your court-ordered/agreed-upon payments on time to FRO and retain all evidence that you did (eg. bank statements etc.), then inform her that you've paid to FRO as ordered/agreed, politely tell her that if she feels that the payments are not getting to her in a timely fashion then she should contact FRO and make her complaints to them. You've already done your part.
 
FRO would contact you if they believed you didn't pay. It's your ex's responsibility to pester them if she hasn't received the CS payment from them yet.

Tell her to call them and get them to see why they haven't released the funds to her as of yet. It's HER responsibility to contact them, not yours. As has been said, as long as you have the records to backup the payment being made (since FRO is notorious for bungling things, it's entirely possible they "lost" it) then your job is DONE.
 
Yeah, I wish I could block certain emails from ever reaching me. Thank you both, I just do not have time to deal with this stuff but it does weigh on me being yelled at for a week straight.
 
Ignore her drama.

A simple email to her of "According to my bank records the withdrawl has been made. Should you have any concerns about late payment you should direct them to our case worker at FRO."

Then radio silence. You don't need to answer to any more of her accusations or get pulled into her drama.
 
I figured sending her a copy of the bank statement with confidential stuff blanked out but leaving in the info about the payment would be enough to make her quiet. Wish it was, now radio silence indeed.
 
fireweb13 said:
I figured sending her a copy of the bank statement with confidential stuff blanked out but leaving in the info about the payment would be enough to make her quiet. Wish it was, now radio silence indeed.
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You could've sent her a gold plated affidavit from the Queen herself stating that it was a true copy of your bank records and your ex wouldn't care or believe you. Why? Because they are bitter ex's who don't want to believe you are capable of being honest.

If the future just direct her to FRO. You could state that, unless she filed to have you guys withdrawn from FRO, you are not capable of unilaterally withdrawing yourself. But that would probably just drive her to suspect you forged some document....so best not to bother. Just tell her to call FRO and then ignore her.

Though, if I did get like 10-12 emails in like a 6 hour period, I may respond to tell her to cease harassing you as you have no control over how FRO operates and to contact FRO to have the issue resolved. If you get many more emails after that, you may be justified in calling the cops and have them tell her to stop harassing you.
 
I did keep directing her to FRO, and she would email back 5 minutes later saying that she talked to them just now... really lol, she got ahold of FRO that fast. If only we have a filter for emails that could weed out the BS emails but still keep any important ones right.
 
fireweb13 said:
I did keep directing her to FRO, and she would email back 5 minutes later saying that she talked to them just now... really lol, she got ahold of FRO that fast. If only we have a filter for emails that could weed out the BS emails but still keep any important ones right.
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Like Hammerdad said, don't get drawn into her drama. Reiterate one final time that you have no control over when FRO forwards the payments to her, there's nothing you can do about it, and for her to take it up with FRO if she's unhappy about it -- and then absolute radio silence. If the antagonistic email streams keep coming and get unbearable, you have a case to go to the police and have them tell her to stop harassing you. That should sober her up a bit.
 
You can filter her emails. Someone suggested before that you inform her you will only be opening emails with specific information in the subject line pertaining to the kids, aside from that everything else will be filed and opened if/when you have time. And then follow through!
 
The whole (or a big part of) going thru FRO is to not have to contact one another re; CS/SS payments. That's the reason I'm looking forward to having their involvement (just filling out the paperwork). You have gone above and beyond by providing her w/the information you have.

BTW; I know this from personal experience (ex's new wife was harassing me w/bs emails and texts (not 'fro' related) a couple of years ago) - the police don't necessarily view it as harassment if you are responding b/c then there is an "exchange" taking place. Harassment (not that you want to get to that point necessarily, of calling the cops) is when one person sends repeated messages/or calls etc and you do not respond at all. If it ever happens again (to me) I'm doing the radio silence thing and if it keeps up - I'll have no problem filing a complaint.
 
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