CS mess

Trix

New member
In short,

Older daughter with mom but heads off to University end of August.

Younger daughter had been here exclusively from Feb to this past weekend (she is spending time with her mom and sister over the past few days).

OP doesn't want to leave the FRO but 'wants' to wait to see what our younger daughter does.

I need to file something to stop the arrears from building up. But is there a process to 'wait' and see?
 
There isn’t. You need to file something immediately if your ex refuses to withdraw from FRO.

First, tell the ex you expect her to agree to withdraw from FRO as of August 2 due to the change in circumstances for both kids. Advise your ex that should she agree you will not see arrears for the child who has been living with you or legal costs for having to file. That should they disagree, you will be filing a motion to change and requiring them to pay all costs involved to do so. Give them 48 hours to tell you.

While this is happening, start filling out the motion to change forms outlining the new situation. Once you have done that you will be ready to file with the court.

It is difficult to change things with FRO quickly or to have things on hold. Your ex will drag their feet. Get the forms filed immediately because it will take some time to get a court date. Hopefully the threat of costs gets them moving.
 
Thank you for the prompt reply. I figured as much but wanted to make sure.

I'm not one for leveraging and am pretty by the book. But I want this done.
 
Thank you for the prompt reply. I figured as much but wanted to make sure.

I'm not one for leveraging and am pretty by the book. But I want this done.


Technically that is all by the book but she doesn’t need to know that.

All of this is true as my husband had the same problem—ex refused to sign a change on consent and FRO wouldnt do anything without a new order. If your ex won’t withdraw, you need a new order.
 
Don't file wait unless you need the money now. Once you file your ex could start putting up a fight over the daughter because money is involved. If you wait another 6 months or a year your case is stronger. Your ex might need more time to accept the situation.
 
Don't file wait unless you need the money now. Once you file your ex could start putting up a fight over the daughter because money is involved. If you wait another 6 months or a year your case is stronger. Your ex might need more time to accept the situation.


No. Don’t do this. You need to have a date set to stop the arrears. Move on filing paperwork.
 
No. Don�t do this. You need to have a date set to stop the arrears. Move on filing paperwork.


FACT: They have 3 years to file and the date of arrears does not change because they filed a year later instead of 6 months later.

EXAMPLE: child does change their mind at the end of summer. Their ex files again? It is waste of the courts time and the parents time.

Been there, done that. Just the facts.
 
FACT: They have 3 years to file and the date of arrears does not change because they filed a year later instead of 6 months later.

EXAMPLE: child does change their mind at the end of summer. Their ex files again? It is waste of the courts time and the parents time.

Been there, done that. Just the facts.


Nope it’s the date they requested. And the OP is worried about arrears building up. When you are with FRO the sooner you file the better off you’ll be. He will never get the money back if he pays it out.
 
I just went through court for this. Are you telling me all those lawyers were wrong?

When did you go through this and why is there a limitation for how much back child support can be asked for?
 
I just went through court for this. Are you telling me all those lawyers were wrong?

When did you go through this and why is there a limitation for how much back child support can be asked for?

Ask your lawyer. This is a site full of anonymous posters. So if you have a better source of information that is professional... Then follow the professional you can afford to hire's advice and move on to another place.
 
The timelines are based on the supreme court decision as well as when notice was given. You can tell in writing the person that you want to update cs and the clock starts ticking. If it takes four years to get through court, that date is used. If you say I want to go back to 2019 and you get done this year, you don’t calculate three years back (2018).

Plus, because FRO won’t stop collecting until they have an updated order, arrears build up. If the payor still pays hoping to get the money back, that could be rescinded. Courts take several years.

Trix’s ex has been playing games for years and he has been overly reasonable in my opinion. She knew her oldest was going away to school and she played games with the youngest spending time with him. He can file the paperwork to get it going and then either say he is ok with the cs being paid for the six month transition or get it back. Either way the paperwork was filed and moving.

And I know this because my husband went through this FRO trying to get his ex to update on agreement and then having to go through a motion to change where she asked for a date and then decided to adjust those dates to maximize her arrears to be paid. She was told no she was asking for a set date and she had to stick to that date.

Every case is unique though and your case and advice was unique to yours. Some parts of advice is transferable though and since I’ve been following Trix’s case and know the games his ex plays (click on his name and read his previous posts) I tell him to file now to do it as soon as possible. His ex will not pay back money she got and will claim hardship. It’s not worth the fight.
 
My case and my statement are general but it also applied to Trix's post as per the link I provided. Trix still qualifies for waiting as well and they gave notice.



Your post is very specific and personal to this individual.
I hope you can understand how people would read your statement and think it is a statement about law.


The law is fluid so 2000 or 2010 or even 2018 may not apply apparently things changed in 2021. When did your husband go through this?


"She was told no she was asking for a set date and she had to stick to that date." Not the same? That implies that a person must file their motion correctly.
 
The link includes points I’ve made as well. As for being unique to Trix’s case…he asked the question, I was answering it based on his case. If someone reading wants to infer something outside that, it’s on them, the rules of the forum outline to do a search before posting a new thread. Under those conditions one would expect by the time they got to this thread they will see the general nature of the topic.

Based on the timelines the court has right now and the possibility Trix won’t see his arrears returned, telling him to file immediately is good advice. By the time he gets to a conference, six months will have passed showing the change in circumstances is set. As well as needing to update for the child away at school.
 
The information in the link is helpful for retroactive changes for a child who may or may not have been a child of the marriage, not for children who are entitled to support. It's a change to support applications for a child who is not eligible for support.

Of note:

The Supreme Court of Canada has now clarified that a parent cannot bring an original application for retroactive support under the Divorce Act if the child was independent and over the age of 19 at the time the application was made. However, a parent may bring an application to vary support for an adult child under the Divorce Act, as long as the adult child remains financially dependent. Either an original application for support of an adult child or an application to vary an existing child support order, can be made under the Parenting and Support Act.

This is the only element of the article/case law that has been updated. Should also note that the read of the supreme court case clearly outlines that the court has the discretion to determine if a retroactive award would be harmful or unfair. In Trix's case, his ex would more than likely argue it would be unfair to make her pay back thousands in support she wasn't entitled to.

Both the article linked and the cases clearly note that changes to income, child support amounts and eligibility for adult children should be handled as soon as possible to avoid any issues and notably that child support is the right of the child.

Also of note from Michael v. Graydon:
the date of retroactivity should perhaps correspond to the date when the support ought to have been paid. Effective notice to the payor parent, the default date to which a child support award should be retroactive, is a broad concept which goes well beyond actual knowledge of a filed variation application.

Most importantly though across all of the info linked--blameworthy conduct is noted as needing to be avoided at all costs. As in, make sure you advise the payor when a child is no longer entitled to support; make sure you advise the recipient when your income changes and update accordingly; and, make sure you have full disclosure and all relevant information to avoid blameworthy conduct.

For this specific case with Trix, his oldest is leaving for school and therefore is entitled to "summer only" support as of September. His younger daughter is either living with him full time or they have shared custody. In which case support for her requires updating. To avoid arrears building up for full table for two kids, best to file now.

I will state again that FRO is a different beast when it comes to support cases. It's best to file quickly to get the matter changed as it takes several months (or years) to update. A friend had a case moving quickly pre-pandemic, it was held up for a year in 2020, finally had trial in early 2022 and now he has to clear significant arrears accumulated with FRO.
 
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