Converting Sole To Joint

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sandu

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The wife has sole custody for about 2.5 years after the final orders and in total for almost 4 years.
Now since the kids(5 and 7) are grown up and starting full time school I would like to have them atleast 5 days every other week.Also I would like to see JOint Custody in the orders instead of sole.

My point is that i don't want to be a weekend dad in my kids life and want to be a part of their life.Also this will give the mother some extra time to explore her career and enjoy personal life.Not to mention she is not ready for this change and won't cooperate

What are my chances I already started a motion along with an order for change in support amount as my income has been reduced to less than half.
 
yes and I did mention She is absolutely denying this access change.I even offered to shift in the same area so kids can have the same school/neighbourhood/friends.BUT as usual she is very diificult specially when it can effect her child support
 
sandu said:
Also this will give the mother some extra time to explore her career and enjoy personal life.Not to mention she is not ready for this change and won't cooperate
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Is this something she has discussed with you that she needs more time for herself or are you implying this? Maybe she is content with the way things are right now or is this what you will use if it goes to court?

Have you proposed a slower increase at any point? I understand you want to see you kids more and if it's not about lower cs support then why rush it to court? She's had custody for quite sometime and not sure how far you will get if everything is still working well and there hasn't been a significant change.
She's probably seeing maybe red flags from your request.
 
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Thanks For Your Input

Thanks For Your Input

tugofwar said:
Have you proposed a slower increase at any point? I understand you want to see you kids more and if it's not about lower cs support then why rush it to court? She's had sole custody for quite sometime and not sure how far you will get if everything is still working well and there hasn't been a significant change.
She's probably seeing maybe red flags from your request.
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Another poster already told me that the change won't affect CS.Rushing to the court was for reduction in CS.I am paying support on imputed income and my income is less than half now
 
I was fired from my job and became self employed.She played poor,never worked ,STAY AT HOME MOm and proved it was an intentional underemployement.Nothing has changed now apatrt from the fact that my income for last 3 years is less than the half which has been imputed.So now i am under 100,000 debt,two new kids and can't afford the same amount anymore
 
sandu said:
Nothing has changed now apatrt from the fact that my income for last 3 years is less than the half which has been imputed.So now i am under 100,000 debt,two new kids and can't afford the same amount anymore
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Why not then throw in the towel with the self employment and find a job where you can actually make money?
Im sorry, my ex is self employed and hiding money, etc and fighting me tooth and nail for paying the basic child support so could your ex use that you are intentionally underemployed too if you were making and agreed to the imputed income?
 
As well, new family/children are secondary to CS, as they came along second...

I would suggest some severe budgeting and looking for a job...self-employment does not seem to be working for you, if you are 100K in debt after 2.5-4 years...and if you were already imputed due to underemployment, you will get no sympathy in the system.
 
Thanks Tugofwar and InterprovincialParents

Thanks Tugofwar and InterprovincialParents

I appreciate your quick replies.Though I am not happy but system is unfair to the dads.

Getting a job is my plan if I get the kids for more time.
 
sandu said:
Getting a job is my plan if I get the kids for more time.
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Think backwards: get the job now to be more prepared for when you get the kids for more time, and you'll look better to the court and be more likely to be awarded the additional time.
 
There are some who will fight tooth and nail to prevent their status quo from changing.

Now that the children are in school, the mother has an obligation to try to become self sufficient.

You need to find stable employment. Whether it is from self employment, or from working for a company, really makes no difference. You can't make it reliant upon you getting more time with the kids. The two issues are not related, and you will never get any sympathy in court.

Depending on your circumstances you may be able to ask for an adjustment in your support, and have it back dated, but to do this, you will need to prove to the courts that you were either working to the best of your ability. Since you already have been deemed to have been intentionally underemployed, you will have to be very convincing.

As for increasing your time with the children, you need to take baby steps to get your time increased. Do not use any arguments about how it will be better for your ex. You need to show that the increased access is better for the children, and slowly work your way up in time. It has been a long time the mother has had the kids, and you will have a hard time moving into equal or near equal parenting right away.

Moving to a location closer to the kids is a good move. It will be less stressful on the kids if they still have the same circle of friends to play with regardless of were they are.
 
tugofwar said:
Yes, please enlighten us. How long have you had your income imputed? Do you provide her with an exchange of yearly income tax statements?
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Why is it when a father wants more access or reduction in CS, when he has specifically stated his income is half of what it was, there seems to be a presidential inquiry.

The man wants to see his children more.... simple as that... interesting every time a man wants more access, then the third degree is top of the order, but a woman fights the access and she has all the excuses in the world...gee, wouldn't be that she wants to keep that CS? Maybe she'll have to get out and get a job to replace that money??

It just amazes me that every time a man (father) wants to see his children more, then it 50 questions whereas a mother gets the ....ahhhh poor her...sorry I'm just not with that program...what make a father any less entitled or deserving of respect and benefit of doubt than the mother?
 
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