she owned first..ive been paying since i moved here but have been on title and mortgage for 2yrs...and medical issues prevent me from working full time, can only work a few hrs a day..and the house issue she had someone draw up an agreement that states that its a 60/40 split and that we both had or turned down legal representation...this just seems to b more of a hassle than its worth..and just to state medical issues include serious respitory and heart problems...i was on life support twice for said issues
continued!!
- Thread starter shlaba
- Start date
- Status
standing on the sidelines
New member
if i was you i would put health first and move out.
mcdreamy
Moderator
I'd have to agree. I know the overwhelming advice is to stay in the house until it is sold/dealt with, but if your health is at risk and detoriating because of your living situation, I'd save your health.
You are on title, she can't do anything to the house without your consent, it might take a while to get it dealt with and receive your equity share and once you leave, you do lose some leverage in pushing it forward. But is it worth your health? Do you have enough funds to get a rental and restart, or do you need the equity to move?
May_May
New member
At the time when I left, I wasn't aware about trying to stay in the house with a locked room until it was resolved. I left mostly for my mental health, worried about being physically hurt as it was at its absolute worst, and for the 'health' of my kids to not be in a toxic environment. It's been well over a year and it's still not settled (my ex still has to give me my half of the house) but I'm working on that legally (very slow process and I don't have the funds to push it faster).
I've never regretted ... ever ... leaving when I did. I put together 1 bag of stuff, and moved into my moms house while she was away. Then I leased a house before they came back. Can you stay with friends ? family ? Can someone move in with you at your current house (like a brother or friend ?)...
You cannot stay there if you're risking your health (physical and/or mental). That needs to come first...
I've never regretted ... ever ... leaving when I did. I put together 1 bag of stuff, and moved into my moms house while she was away. Then I leased a house before they came back. Can you stay with friends ? family ? Can someone move in with you at your current house (like a brother or friend ?)...
You cannot stay there if you're risking your health (physical and/or mental). That needs to come first...
$ is the biggest thing holding me back from leaving, i am tryin to find a place to stay with someone but its difficult and she will force me to get rid of pets which will b difficult considering they are reptiles..in the process of finding them homes first...thank u for the advice and input i really appreciate all the support here
I can't even comment and/or give advice on this post- Pursuinghappiness: I honestly don't think I would have been able to live the way your did, almost sounds like being hostage in your own home....that's terrible...and here I thought we live in a free Country. No wonder this world is upside down!
Pursuinghappiness
New member
TLCRN:
Yea it was pretty awful...especially since he borderline stalked me and kept a notebook of everything I did...where I went..who I saw. I did my best to ignore it and just kept at my life.
I'm not the only one either. Like I said, there are literally thousands of separated (and often hostile) couples living under the same roof due to money, custody, or home equity and there's nothing you can really do about it.
A lot of these situations turn really hostile with people calling the cops on each other, etc. I handled it as best I could ..luckily the house was relatively large so I was able to segregate myself and would leave on days that he was staying...like some weekend days and try to sleep somewhere else. When I was there...I had a door lock and a special kicker wedge which blocked my door so it couldn't be pushed open. I had to wait until he finally agreed to sell...then I had to wait for the closing. It was tough and was the worst part of the divorce process for me...luckily its over now and I'm in my own home. I remember the first night I slept in my new house...it was amazing. I love coming home now for the first time in about 20 years...so for me, its been well worth it.
For this OP though, I'd get a medical note and see if there's any way to get exclusive possession because of health reasons. I've heard there are cases of that...where if the stress of living together is causing you extreme medical stress, you can apply for exclusive possession. I'd ask my lawyer about it at least before I just moved out.
Yea it was pretty awful...especially since he borderline stalked me and kept a notebook of everything I did...where I went..who I saw. I did my best to ignore it and just kept at my life.
I'm not the only one either. Like I said, there are literally thousands of separated (and often hostile) couples living under the same roof due to money, custody, or home equity and there's nothing you can really do about it.
A lot of these situations turn really hostile with people calling the cops on each other, etc. I handled it as best I could ..luckily the house was relatively large so I was able to segregate myself and would leave on days that he was staying...like some weekend days and try to sleep somewhere else. When I was there...I had a door lock and a special kicker wedge which blocked my door so it couldn't be pushed open. I had to wait until he finally agreed to sell...then I had to wait for the closing. It was tough and was the worst part of the divorce process for me...luckily its over now and I'm in my own home. I remember the first night I slept in my new house...it was amazing. I love coming home now for the first time in about 20 years...so for me, its been well worth it.
For this OP though, I'd get a medical note and see if there's any way to get exclusive possession because of health reasons. I've heard there are cases of that...where if the stress of living together is causing you extreme medical stress, you can apply for exclusive possession. I'd ask my lawyer about it at least before I just moved out.
is that possible??...the health thing, my cardiologist and general dr both say that stress is the biggest contributing factor to my declining health..for my increased BP and heart rate, was told its a matter of time before something gives..makes me nervous considering im only 38 and dont wanna be on life support again..
Pursuinghappiness
New member
shlaba:
I would ask your lawyer and look on CanLII to see if there are any cases that use health concerns as grounds for exclusive possession. I know I've heard of such a case but it was pertaining to the child's health and the situational stress caused by the separated parent's bickering in the home.
Anyway, ask...can't hurt.
I would ask your lawyer and look on CanLII to see if there are any cases that use health concerns as grounds for exclusive possession. I know I've heard of such a case but it was pertaining to the child's health and the situational stress caused by the separated parent's bickering in the home.
Anyway, ask...can't hurt.
- Status