Common Law Question-My rights and Initimidation

[MohGrana]

Pursuinghappiness, you sound like a bitter person who went through some very difficult divorce or something like that. By the language you use, I won't reply to your comment. I do not need a reality check, I know that in court the evidence is the one that talks. I am definitely naïve, and do not know about law, and you seem to know. But, I have 4 lawyers who do not know me and heard the version of facts and all of them agreed to basically the same thing.
I am not planning to go court, and I am definitely pursuing what it is not mine, and you should clean your tongue using hell too much, there is no need for it. I have contributed the best I could, and my daughter is her daughter as well as she acted as her step-mother you like it or not, and if you know more than lawyers, then you must be a judge or a lawyer or frustrated woman who was involved in a very nasty divorce and lost. The law is for everyone, and I never said she has to support me for the rest of my life, but if I was a woman right now, I will not be getting your comments as such. I am a man and will do whatever it takes to move on, but the law entitles me to certain rights and I am not the one who wrote, so go and try to change it.

I believe you need a reality check, as I am entitled to all those things and more, You do not know what you are talking about, as the evidence will determine all these factors. This is not someone who has been sleeping while the spouse was working, absolutely not... this is a case of a bitter woman who does not believe in marriage after 13 years of a relationship, and who acted as spouse and step mother.

I will let the lawyer deal with the technicalities, but I will build the case that it will show the facts, not me saying... friends, witnesses, relatives and mutual acquaintances who can prove that we were just like a married couple.

Your comments are really helping me in seeing better what angles I should tackle this problem. Not from the emotional perspective, that is for sure and thanks for that. You sound cold, and so does my partner as you both do not know what compassion is and are bitter, and frustrated. I made a mistake by whining, and will stop that now as I need to be strong and a man, and will not no one step on me nor on our daughter. So, in your opinion it is fair that a spouse tries to evict her spouse and their daughter without dealing before finalizing a separation agreement? I believe not, but as I said before the gender bias has a lot to do in this case. I do not wish to go to court, as I am planning to move on with life, and try to settle this so we all depart amicably.

I am glad I read your comments, as now I am really aware what I am up against.

Thank you.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

But, I have 4 lawyers who do not know me and heard the version of facts and all of them agreed to basically the same thing.

Uh huh...then why'd you have to go to 4 of them???

Pursuinghappiness, you sound like a bitter person who went through some very difficult divorce or something like that.

Its always amusing when people resort to insults because posters don't agree with their spew of nonsense. In summary, I have been through the family law process as many of the posters on here have. I'm actually one of the lucky ones and count myself as such. But no one going through the process gets through without making some compromises. That was my point. You think you're going to get what you want and I assure you, you won't...probably not even close.

I know that in court the evidence is the one that talks.

The problem is that you don't understand what constitutes actual evidence.

The other problem is your attitude. It won't play out well in litigation.

But, I have 4 lawyers who do not know me and heard the version of facts and all of them agreed to basically the same thing.

My ex consulted a handful of attorneys...then proceeded to hire and fire two more after paying expensive retainers to each of them. He had a very expensive male-rights attorney at one point that promised him the moon and didn't deliver. None of them achieved the "justice" that he raged to me he was going to get. He actually did a lot worse than the initial deal I offered him both custody/access-wise and in support. You would be smart to consider her offer and avoid court. You don't understand the process and you have a "I'm gonna win" and entitlement mentality that plays out VERY badly in court.

and I am definitely pursuing what it is not mine,

Very funny and very true typo.

and you should clean your tongue using hell too much, there is no need for it.

lol...Clean my tongue? What the HELL?

but if I was a woman right now, I will not be getting your comments as such.

Actually for any woman or man that comes on here, there's a standard set of advice to gather whatever financial resources you can...ie, borrow money, etc...to get through the separation process. It isn't gender specific. It can take around a year to get awarded support. You need to file, get through a CC, prove entitlement through a motion and then register with FRO. For someone out of work living off their ex and whining about being broke....I'm not sure you have a clear picture of what financial resources you'll be paying out to get this done but they're substantial. Your ex won't be paying any of them, you will. And this is just legal fees to get started...that doesn't include fighting your eviction request. If she's successful in that...which she well may be, your living expenses are going to significantly increase and you'll actually have to support your own kid.

but the law entitles me to certain rights and I am not the one who wrote, so go and try to change it.

I believe you need a reality check, as I am entitled to all those things and more,

Ah, the unwarranted sense of entitlement. Great attitude.

I actually wish your ex would come on this forum so we could tell her how to impute an income to you and make you prove entitlement to SS before she offered it to you like we do with all ex-partners of deadbeats.

this is a case of a bitter woman who does not believe in marriage after 13 years of a relationship, and who acted as spouse and step mother.

She was very smart not to marry you. If she had, she'd be in a much worse position since she is the one that actually went out and earned most of the money in the relationship. It looks like she was also smart enough to keep the assets in her name.

That she doesn't believe in marriage doesn't support your argument of a family law venture. I find it amusing you keep saying it in every post.

I will let the lawyer deal with the technicalities...

lol... (pssst...This costs money. Lots of it.)

You sound cold, and so does my partner as you both do not know what compassion is

I don't know all the details of your relationship breakdown but clearly one of them is that she doesn't want to support a non-working boyfriend and his kid. I can't say that I blame her. It sounds like she put up with that through a long relationship and got tired of it. I don't think its that she's lacking compassion as much as she probably feels taken advantage of.

Nothing she's doing is inconsistent with what happens during separation. She wants to be single and live her own life and she's taking fair and reasonable legal steps to make that happen. She's also made you the offer of SS without you having to prove entitlement which is extremely generous. This forum gives advice not to ever offer SS until the other party proves entitlement. That you didn't consider her offer shows how foolish you are.

So, in your opinion it is fair that a spouse tries to evict her spouse and their daughter without dealing before finalizing a separation agreement?

Yes its perfectly fair and its reasonable given that the house is in her name, that you are not married and that you do not earn a living and contribute to the household expenses. Add to that that she's also supporting your daughter in the home. She has given you notice to vacate which would enable any normal 48 year old grown-ass man to find other living arrangements. And frankly, I doubt that she hasn't been telling you that this has been coming for some time. You probably just kept leeching off of her until she finally had to get a lawyer and take more serious action. What I'd really like to know is why you think she has to support you and your kid?

I believe not, but as I said before the gender bias has a lot to do in this case.

On this forum, male of female...the advice is pretty standard. Get a job and start working on becoming self-sufficient. You should feel some obligation to support yourself and not scam someone into supporting you and your kid regardless of what gender you are.

If you think for one second you're going to whine your way into scamming a lucrative settlement off of an ex you weren't married to, you're out of your mind.

I assure you this...you're in for the rudest awakening of your life. And I hope your ex discovers this forum.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

might as well forget trying to explain it to him PH. He only wants to hear that he will win, wont cost him any money and that she will pay for being a "mean" person to him. Its going to be interesting if he finds a lawyer who will be honest with him.

To the OP time to put on your big boy pants and move on with your life. If its so bad living at your ex common law partners place then MOVE. Maybe in with one of these friends who will come to court with you. Your child (not hers) deserves to live in a better place if there is that much hostility, or are you going to be a meanie to your child and make her live there?

I know I'm poking a dead thing with a stick Standing but I'm enjoying getting him riled up and ranting about how he's going to get justice against his meanie ex.

How dare she go out and earn money and not hand it to him and his kid!!! The injustice and lack of compassion!!!

This is going to be a fun poster to watch.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Just to give you an idea of what the process takes in time and money, I just calculated what it took to my 1st interim order for support.

To premise, I have an extremely responsive lawyer, was married for over 20 years and had a very straightforward case for support.

Time: 14 months to actual decision at first motion after CC + 4 months to register and collect first payment through FRO = Total 18 months to first payment. (Until that the time, I used only my own working income to support me and my children. You need to have income to get through the separation process or you need to have someone you can borrow from. I could have requested retro CS but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. Getting retro SS...especially in your case...is unlikely.)

Money: (And I have an inexpensive lawyer comparatively) Retainer 2k (cheap compared to some) + Initial filing 3k to CC + Legal fees to interim motion decision 14,000 (negotiated down from 18,500k) = Total (negotiated) cash paid from equity in marital home 19k

There was one other motion in the process on consent to disposition the marital home so you could probably remove about 2-3k out of my legal fees but I also wasn't trying to prove that I was in a family law venture or trying to prove my entitlement to assets. That was assumed since I was actually married. I also didn't have to prove entitlement to offset CS since we have biological children. Proving those things will run your legal fees up far higher than mine.

Your ex will not be on the hook to pay for any of your legal fees. And again, you also have to fight an eviction order. If you don't pay your lawyer or it looks like you're going to lose your case...they start getting a whole lot less responsive. I had assets to draw from and paid on-time so my lawyer continued to worked hard for me.

Also, if you start pulling in negative advocates to prove b.s. allegations against your ex...those cost literally thousands of dollars. You have to pay for the time your lawyer consults them, prepares and files the affidavit and then there's responses back and forth. And they probably won't help anyway. Shark lawyers love to waste dumb client's money making up slanderous affidavits that judges don't bother to read.

This is why I say you need a reality check. You have no idea what you're in for. All I can say is given the case you're threatening to pursue, you better have substantial cash laying around or assets you can liquidate. Or contact legal aid...I'd be curious to know if you already tried that route.

 

[MohGrana]

I just want to thank pusuinghappiness for your comment, and apologize if I made ant wrong statements, as I am new to this. I will do my research and speak of the facts from now on, and ask questions to the forum that relevant to the case. I am trying to solve this peacefully for the best interest of all involved, and prefer to do it outside the court as I do care for my partner, so I hope we can reach an agreement, finalize it and move on.

Thank you again.

 

[MohGrana]

You are a piece work pursuinghappiness, and I do not think you will find the happiness here, that is a funny user name. I never said I will anything, and you are from a feminist mvt, and I am not your ex and you do not know anything of the case, and small portion. I am not after what it is not mine, and obviously you know more tricks anf legal system.

I have a bigger lawyer that you do not know about, and I have no attitude at all, and I am might have come off whining, and if I did I will rectify.

I know the facts of this relationship, and know what my rights are ... my strenghts and weaknesses and do not believe for a second that I will win, but I know lawyers will.

You sound coky and know it all, good for you.... but you actually know nothing.

Youa are just a frustrated older single women, with money and still not happy, how sad is that?

I at least know where I stand, and am probably naive and all that... but i know where the hapiness lie, and you do not.

So, you won your case... so what? you were lucky and have the money to hire a good lawyer, and you ex made mistakes, and it does not apply to me nor my case.

I repeat you sound bitter, and frustrated big time....

 

[DowntroddenDad]

You are a piece work pursuinghappiness, and I do not think you will find the happiness here, that is a funny user name. I never said I will anything, and you are from a feminist mvt, and I am not your ex and you do not know anything of the case, and small portion. I am not after what it is not mine, and obviously you know more tricks anf legal system.

I have a bigger lawyer that you do not know about, and I have no attitude at all, and I am might have come off whining, and if I did I will rectify.

I know the facts of this relationship, and know what my rights are ... my strenghts and weaknesses and do not believe for a second that I will win, but I know lawyers will.

You sound coky and know it all, good for you.... but you actually know nothing.

Youa are just a frustrated older single women, with money and still not happy, how sad is that?

I at least know where I stand, and am probably naive and all that... but i know where the hapiness lie, and you do not.

So, you won your case... so what? you were lucky and have the money to hire a good lawyer, and you ex made mistakes, and it does not apply to me nor my case.

I repeat you sound bitter, and frustrated big time....

Mohgrana you are projecting.

You seem cocky, and arrogant and project a sense of entitlement. Pursuing was actually trying to help you realize the challenges of your case. I wouldn't bet on you being successful.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Holy hell. What an incoherent rant. You might want to learn to control that temper Mr. Thang. Raging in court when you don't hear what you want is a bad idea. By the way, ad hominem attacks just tend to make me laugh cause I'm a jerk like that. Its like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Us old, bitter, single chicks are pretty impervious to insults.

(By the way, I'm years younger than you...so calling me "old" is pretty damn funny)

I have a bigger lawyer that you do not know about

Bigger? As in girth or experience? My ex at one point hired one of those blow-hard male-rights attorneys...didn't work out so well in results but I'm sure he acquired one hell of a legal bill. Like I said, I hope you have lots of assets to liquidate.

I at least know where I stand, and am probably naive and all that... but i know where the hapiness lie,

I hope your ex figures out where her happiness lies. Sounds like she working on it.

So, you won your case... so what? you were lucky and have the money to hire a good lawyer, and you ex made mistakes, and it does not apply to me nor my case.

You clearly didn't read what I posted. No one WINS in family court and you're already making mistakes.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

You seem cocky, and arrogant and project a sense of entitlement. Pursuing was actually trying to help you realize the challenges of your case. I wouldn't bet on you being successful.

Thank you DD.

I honestly do hope this particular OP continues to post here. The family law venture concept v.s. commonlaw is fairly new...it actually reminds me of when they started palimony in the States.

Watching what he has to go through to try to prove that status will be very interesting. Especially to future commonlaw posters.

But I'm with you...I wouldn't take the bet on him being hugely successful either. We'll see.<!-- / message -->

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

A few interesting notes from Kerr v.s. Baranow (and the Vaness appeal) that should be of concern to the OP:

SCC Cases (Lexum) - Kerr v. Baranow

• The one case took from their separation in 2005 to 2011 to reach a determination.
• The couples had significant assets which enabled them both to pay lawyers throughout this long case.
• The one couple had a relationship that ended in their 60s and spanned 25 years.
• The one couple had two biological children together.
• This female partner in this case made significant career sacrifices...ie. moving long distances.
• This female partner in this case stayed home to raise their biological children.
• This female partner in this case made both significant financial contributions and domestic contributions which enabled the other partner to obtain significant career goals.

The criteria for success in this case (two appeals) and what the OP thinks passes in his story as the same criteria for success really isn't even close.

Things not working in this OP's favor are that he doesn't share biological children with his ex-partner and therefore hasn't made any significant career sacrifice to care for any children of the relationship. He also claims to have not made any real career progression and now is unemployed so proving that he made equitable contributions to the assets won't be easy...although he very well may be able to prove some level of entitlement to said assets. Also, she clearly didn't view herself as married and as such, kept all the main material assets solely in her name. Due to his explanation of his career history, I'd also be challenging SS as the entitlement is questionable.

Frankly, the more I read, the more I think the offer she's put forth is more than fair.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

this is going to be a good one lol.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

It certainly will be.

I'm not sure if anyone else noticed this but this poster struck me as the male version of CanaryMom.