Common Law Question-My rights and Initimidation

[MohGrana]

Hi there, and here goes my questions as I am in a bind. I entered a common law relationship as a single father, and my daughter was 3 and we have been together for 13 years. The relationship has come to an end, and my partner has a god and stable job, and I got ill the last year and a half, unemployed as I was in the middle of changing careers, and working on small translation contracts basis.

My partner has been very aggressive, emotionally and psychologically abusing me as she has deprived from my cell-phone, credit card and curtailing the use of our car. We have not signed nor finalized the separation agreement, and she has sent me an e-mail stating that she has retained a lawyer, wants to start the negotiations for spousal support, and that car and house solely hers, furthermore she wants my daughter (who is her daughter as she is considered a step-mother) and I out of the house by the end of December, and of course it is not going to happen as we are still have not finalized the separation agreement dealing with all issues.

I saw 4 lawyers, and all of them have stated that I have a strong case for child, spousal support, and half of the equity and assets even if they are in he name, as I have contributed the best I could with everything I had in this relationship, and my case is basically will be under the unjust enrichment and express trust. My questions are:

How do I prove this? and make her understand that these are rights as she has been very manipulative and since she is working, has good saving and I have nothing for the time being, so I feel completely vulnerable, isolated, and emotionally abused.

She has not helped in the last 3 months in anything, and I know that she was supposed to support or at least help me as I am ill, a single father, and unemployed, actively looking for work. She has created a very severe anxiety and panic attacks, and chest pain which I have documented with the my doctor, and yesterday at ER. I also will start talking to all my friends about the abuse that I am experiencing, and even her friends to unveil what kind of person she is.

She started a bathroom renovation yesterday, and gave us a short notice with no alternative arrangements to shower. My daughter lives with us almost half of the time, and now I have to tell her with her biological mother for at least a week as that when the renovations will be over. My daughter looks forward to seeing and spending time with me/us. My partner has created this hostile environment in our house that I do not feel safe or secure anymore, and I am not functioning, as soon as I see her my heart starts racing, as she is always up to something.

She is also making two cats (female) we own suffer, as she started closing our bedroom, and I left the bedroom and currently sleeping in the couch. I feel mistreated, and if it was not for my daughter I would have gone to a shelter, but counselors I have met who know about my situation have all told me that she is using this strategy for me to snap or do something crazy, but I am a very peaceful man who has agreed to the separation, but I have my rights and she is trying to make feel bad and not ask for anything else other spousal support.

She asked last Tuesday what I wanted, s she said she just wanted me out her life as quick as possible, and I feel the same, but we have not sat down and dealt anything yet. Anyway, I told her that I will give her an answer this week. But, I am not ready as I know what rights are, and have been working on one proposal or two, and need to be able to figure out all the ins and outs of whatever she might be doing in case she does not go for any of my proposals.

Any advice of how I should deal with my partner?

Thank you.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Maybe one of the mods can move this to a new thread?

 

[arabian]

Can you not seek an interim order for immediate exclusive possession of the matrimonial home? Has this been suggested to you by one of the 4 lawyers you have consulted with? I am curious as to why you have spoken to 4 lawyers? Are you seeking legitimate advice or merely a lawyer who will just tell you what you want to hear?

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

How do I prove this? and make her understand that these are rights as she has been very manipulative and since she is working, has good saving and I have nothing for the time being, so I feel completely vulnerable, isolated, and emotionally abused

You don't prove anything to her. You prove it to the court who will make a determination. The lawyer you choose will walk you through the process of getting the appropriate paperwork started. You should actually stop engaging your ex-partner immediately since she's clearly hostile.

Can you not seek an interim order for immediate exclusive possession of the matrimonial home?

Based on what grounds?

Having anxiety during an in-home separation isn't grounds for an abuse claim. Otherwise, there'd be a whole lot of separated people filing ex-parte motions for exclusive possession.

Plus this is a common-law situation...and the OP hasn't clarified the housing situation to even determine if he's eligible even if there was abuse.

To the OP...you probably should get another thread started (if you know how) so that you can get more responses.

 

[MohGrana]

It is a common law situation, and we have been together for 13 years. We bought the house with the intention of marrying and settling for good, otherwise why would I have a house we used to live at and where I was more comfortable in with my daughter. I was the one who suggested getting the house and was from our landlord's father. The landlord is a friend of mine, and he does not know the situation yet. I did not enter to live with our daughter and my partner in the house as friends, but we were living exactly as a married couple, with our joint account, and she always said this our house, and our car. I have paid some mortgage as she asked me to, and promised in front of the lawyer as I witnessed the last transaction, that if I wanted my name on the title and I told her that I trusted her. And, now it is all hers, and how my contribution, taking care of the household 24/7, cooking, cleaning, repair and maintenance and you name it of household work, plus pain most of the bills. I quit my career as a musician in order to provide more, and deprived myself from many careers because of her, as she always put me down whenever I suggested a career that I was interested in. I was dealing with her as if I was walking on egg shells, always with a fear she might snap, and the abuse is real as even my daughter noticed it, and asked her to forget about. It is not emotional abuse to tell you she would kill herself if it was not for her mother who is handicapped whenever I mention my rights, and how about taking my credit card, cell-phone and try to deprive me from using our car, and not supporting me in anyway, so we can both help each other get out of this situation and move on. How about my health condition that needs treatment and can't afford it. She know all this, and pays over $9000 in a bathroom renovation which originally we were doing together back in august. By the way, I found her a better deal and people I trust, and she embarrassed me by not even letting giving them an answer, and went for the most expensive. Having a better job and more money than me as spouse does not mean she is right, as I do have rights and according to most of lawyers in everything, as this was a family joint venture.

 

[arabian]

Threats of immediate homelessness after a lengthy relationship has been deemed by some to be a basis for mental abuse. I believe it is done frequently (traditionally by a woman). Of course we are only hearing one side of the story and if this poster has been to 4 lawyers you'd think one of the lawyers would have been all over that if it were relevant.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

Threats of immediate homelessness after a lengthy relationship has been deemed by some to be a basis for mental abuse. I believe it is done frequently (traditionally by a woman).

I'm not being gender specific. I simply don't think that giving notice to vacate a premise in a common law situation is grounds for mental abuse and exclusive possession.

Obviously there's been a relationship breakdown...the guy is in the house not working...her yelling at him and telling him to get a job and/or get out of the house isn't going to get him exclusive possession...particularly if he allowed her to put the house in her name and they aren't married. People that are breaking up tend to yell at each other.

I quit my career as a musician in order to provide more, and deprived myself from many careers because of her, as she always put me down whenever I suggested a career that I was interested in. I was dealing with her as if I was walking on egg shells, always with a fear she might snap, and the abuse is real as even my daughter noticed it, and asked her to forget about. It is not emotional abuse to tell you she would kill herself if it was not for her mother who is handicapped whenever I mention my rights, and how about taking my credit card, cell-phone and try to deprive me from using our car, and not supporting me in anyway, so we can both help each other get out of this situation and move on. How about my health condition that needs treatment and can't afford it. She know all this, and pays over $9000 in a bathroom renovation which originally we were doing together back in august. By the way, I found her a better deal and people I trust, and she embarrassed me by not even letting giving them an answer, and went for the most expensive

In my opinion, none of this qualifies as abuse either. Just an indication of a relationship breakdown and two people who need to retain lawyers.

By the way, who's name is the credit card, cell phone and car in? Also, why would she have to pay for your health condition if you're breaking up? Are you on her insurance? If she's the account holder on the credit card and cell phone, her lawyer probably advised her to get that taken care of. She doesn't have to provide you with either or those things. As far as the car, are you on the ownership or just her? Are you on any existing car loan? If you aren't, its her car.

You definitely may be eligible for support but you have to prove entitlement for both SS and CS (since she isn't the child's bio mom) so you need to stop seeing lawyers and actually hire one and get started.

 

[DowntroddenDad]

It is a common law situation, and we have been together for 13 years. We bought the house with the intention of marrying and settling for good, otherwise why would I have a house we used to live at and where I was more comfortable in with my daughter. I was the one who suggested getting the house and was from our landlord's father. The landlord is a friend of mine, and he does not know the situation yet. I did not enter to live with our daughter and my partner in the house as friends, but we were living exactly as a married couple, with our joint account, and she always said this our house, and our car. I have paid some mortgage as she asked me to, and promised in front of the lawyer as I witnessed the last transaction, that if I wanted my name on the title and I told her that I trusted her. And, now it is all hers, and how my contribution, taking care of the household 24/7, cooking, cleaning, repair and maintenance and you name it of household work, plus pain most of the bills. I quit my career as a musician in order to provide more, and deprived myself from many careers because of her, as she always put me down whenever I suggested a career that I was interested in. I was dealing with her as if I was walking on egg shells, always with a fear she might snap, and the abuse is real as even my daughter noticed it, and asked her to forget about. It is not emotional abuse to tell you she would kill herself if it was not for her mother who is handicapped whenever I mention my rights, and how about taking my credit card, cell-phone and try to deprive me from using our car, and not supporting me in anyway, so we can both help each other get out of this situation and move on. How about my health condition that needs treatment and can't afford it. She know all this, and pays over $9000 in a bathroom renovation which originally we were doing together back in august. By the way, I found her a better deal and people I trust, and she embarrassed me by not even letting giving them an answer, and went for the most expensive. Having a better job and more money than me as spouse does not mean she is right, as I do have rights and according to most of lawyers in everything, as this was a family joint venture.

First of all, try using paragraphs to help us decipher this better.

You seem to imply that her name is only on the title, and I assume as well she is the one on the mortgage.

If i were you, I would be going through all my banking records and recording all the bills you paid, mortgage and other household related bills. Normally in a common law situation the value of the house isn't divided if it isn't in both names, but you may have a case, but the onus is on you to prove it.

It doesn't matter at all who sold you the house and what that relationship was. What matters is who is on the mortgage.

It doesn't matter what she said about your career choices, unless it relates to sacrificing your career to help hers.

Your claims of abuse won't stand up without more proof.

You need a lawyer.

 

[arabian]

I would also suggest that you tap into your local community for assistance. Find out if there is a men's shelter in your area. They may be able to direct you to a lawyer or other resources that are better suited for your situation.

Document everything.

If your ex is currently preventing you from receiving medical treatment (assuming she provided for this throughout your relationship) then that would be very important information. Of course, you would have to have documentation to substantiate your allegations.

I would finally say that as most people in your situation are female, you probably will have an uphill battle on your hands simply because your situation is out of the norm. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, rather just that it goes on unreported. A men's support group might be very helpful for you right now.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

I would finally say that as most people in your situation are female, you probably will have an uphill battle on your hands simply because your situation is out of the norm.

I think its difficult but not because the OP is male. She's clearly the higher income earner and if he has proof of an illness...that certainly is significant. The issue is that they aren't married and are in a commonlaw relationship. The equalization rules are significantly different and put the burden of proof on the OP. If he hasn't kept really good records...its unlikely that he's going to have an easy time.

 

[shoretyus]

Get out your records bank./tax/visa etc.. get ALL your taxes as back as far as you can go.

The house is in her name. So technically you are entitled to half of the increase in equity in the thirteen years.

The spousal support and half the equity would probably give you a higher percentage of the house. Depending on numbers.

Unlike marriage. SS is based on the time you where together.

I doubt you'll get any child support.

I would also suggest that you tap into your local community for assistance. Find out if there is a men's shelter in your area. They may be able to direct you to a lawyer or other resources that are better suited for your situation.

Document everything.

If your ex is currently preventing you from receiving medical treatment (assuming she provided for this throughout your relationship) then that would be very important information. Of course, you would have to have documentation to substantiate your allegations.

I would finally say that as most people in your situation are female, you probably will have an uphill battle on your hands simply because your situation is out of the norm. That doesn't mean that it doesn't happen, rather just that it goes on unreported. A men's support group might be very helpful for you right now.

 

[Mess]

Moved to new thread. <bump>

 

[MohGrana]

This is what a female lawyer told me after an hour and half consultation. I think you guys forgot about the fact that this relationship is considered and can prove it as Family Law Venture. So, all the comments I am getting are definitely appreciated and seems that her lawyer has advised her with the tactic. But, it will backfire on her, as how can I move out if she is not helping in any way, by taking the credit card which is on both names, and I used to pay for it as well. I just got ill and was in the middle of changing I never said I was not working at all, and did not. Now, I am unemployed and actively looking for a a steady job, and she is to blame for me not being functioning as she is pressuring too much.
The judge would look at our history and the bond with my daughter which is her step-mother, and regardless if she is not her biological mother, as she has established a 13 years relationship, so that just going to disappear. Moving out the house which my daughter and I consider a matrimonial is also in dispute, and I can prove all my work in the house, as this is an unjust enrichment case, as well express trust. Yes, it would be an uphill battle but she has more to lose than me, as she is not being nice and no one is above the law. I have contributed the best I could in this relationship and this should be enough, and I can call on tons of witnesses to prove that we were just like husband and wife. Plus, we are separating because we do not see eye to eye in marriage, as I wanted marriage to get the blessing of God in this union and she does not believe in marriage. She can come up with any excuse, but that is the bottom lime. By the way, there is nothing I need to prove in terms of SS, it is obvious and she is willing to negotiate it, and I am entitled to a share or half of the equity, period and whether I want to pursue or not, that is another story. Plus, I am 48 and have multiple health issues, and she is triggering chest pain and that is an abuse in my book as she is negating my rights and using strong language with me as I am a peaceful man, but I wont give up my rights.

I need help filling out form 8 and 13.1. can anybody help me?

Thank you.

 

[MohGrana]

I have documented my anxiety and panic attacks caused by her by depriving from the use of the car, and am broke and anything I make goes into the house and for our daughter. I need to say that this is for the best of our daughter, and it is hers. She could end up paying child support, but that is not really my concern. I need to stop her from trying to evict us. I also need to start a legal process in order to request interm spousal support. Is not a form of abuse to leave you with nothing to eat, and transportation as she takes off almost every weekend, and she knows I need the vehicle for my doctor's appointment, and specially knowing that we have not finalized the separation agreement. So, basically she has not obligation to me right now, true... but I am in need, and it is nor because I want to, but this is the situation we are in. I believe she would look bad, as I have really multiple health issues and all documented and have a doctor's note. I believe she needs a reality check, and if I get a lawyer this case can be built very strong, as she is shown her true colors, aggressive, violent, abusive, bully and threatening to kill herself whenever I speak about our rights, more specifically mine, and it this is a form of distortion.... what is?

 

[shellshocked22]

As always, you should have a good lawyer but a few thoughts....

-you are NOT married therefore there is no automatic splitting of assets. Whoever's name the asset is in that's who it belongs to. Yes, you can try for unjust enrichment but the onus is on YOU to prove why you should get a portion. My understanding is that it can be time consuming and expensive in legal fees. Is the potential pay off worth it ?

-you seem to think that she can't be "mean" to you. While no doubt upsetting, courts really don't care. Let's face it, couples breaking up tend to fight !

-you may have a case for spousal support and "maybe" child support - see "in loco parentis. Where is the child's biological mother ? Personally, going after the non-biological parent where there isn't formal adoption seems sleazy to me. The child is yours, NOT hers ! Go after the REAL mother, not someone who was nice enough to help care for someone else's child while you were together.

I would suggest trying to talk it out between you and work out something fair - beware of lawyers who will try to escalate the fight and drain legal fees from you both.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

This is what a female lawyer told me after an hour and half consultation. I think you guys forgot about the fact that this relationship is considered and can prove it as Family Law Venture.

This is an interesting thread for anyone dealing with a common law situation

Joint Family Venture

A court can make a finding that a joint family venture exists. The court can base this on the conduct of unmarried domestic partners. A joint family venture may be inferred where parties:
i. accepted themselves as equivalent to married
ii. held themselves out as married
iii. lived in a lengthy stable relationship and held title jointly or, if alone, showed little concern on living financially separate
iv. made plans for property distribution on death (made wills together)
v. collaborated on common goals, pooled efforts, raised children, were economically integrated.
The courts will also consider the length of the relationship. Not every common law relationship is automatically a joint family venture.
The court can award the non-owner spouse a share of the property, if a joint family venture is found. This can occur regardless of who may have purchased the property or who is the registered owner of the property.

While this attorney that you spoke to (is she the one you retained?) thinks this is a good strategy to go by...I would caution you that this definition under family law is both new and the bar for it is high. I'm not suggesting its not possible only that it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities that this one attorney you spoke to wants to engage you in litigation that may not have a high probability of success and be in your best interest longterm. It happens all the time.

<TABLE><TBODY><TR><TD class=label>Case name:</TD><TD class="metadata title">Kerr v. Baranow</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
SCC Cases (Lexum) - Kerr v. Baranow

But, it will backfire on her, as how can I move out if she is not helping in any way, by taking the credit card which is on both names, and I used to pay for it as well.

Even in marriage situations, she's not required to financially support you during separation at all. Its common practice and sound practice to close all joint accounts during the separation process. That you "used to" pay for the credit card account is irrelevant. She did the right thing by cutting this off.

Now, I am unemployed and actively looking for a a steady job, and she is to blame for me not being functioning as she is pressuring too much

She's not to blame for you being unemployed. In-home separations are stressful...you should be segregating yourself in the home and not engaging her in disputes. I'm not sure what remedy that you're expecting to get here legally but I can tell you that it won't happen. She's not responsible for you being unemployed and she's not responsible to support you because you are.

Yes, it would be an uphill battle but she has more to lose than me, as she is not being nice and no one is above the law.

Forgive me but this actually made me laugh pretty hard. Believe me, if "not being nice" led to some legal remedy in family law...particularly a financial one....you'd be talking to a forum full of billionaires right now. You really need to lose the "victim" mentality. It doesn't serve you very well in life and won't in court either. You're an adult with a child and are responsible for yourself. She's not your mommy.

I believe she needs a reality check, and if I get a lawyer this case can be built very strong, as she is shown her true colors, aggressive, violent, abusive, bully and threatening to kill herself whenever I speak about our rights, more specifically mine, and it this is a form of distortion....

Plus, I am 48 and have multiple health issues, and she is triggering chest pain and that is an abuse in my book as she is negating my rights and using strong language with me as I am a peaceful man,

Actually its good that you came to this forum because I actually think its you who needs a reality check. You certainly have a case but I don't think its nearly as extensive as you think it is. And like most new litigants, you're confused as to what is relevant and not relevant for family law. For instance, none of the stuff that I underlined is relevant. But you'll find that out soon enough. The question is...how much time and money are you going to waste to do it?

I have documented my anxiety and panic attacks caused by her by depriving from the use of the car, and am broke and anything I make goes into the house and for our daughter.

If the car is in her name and you're not working, I'm not sure why you expect that she has to provide you with use of her vehicle. You can get to your medical appointments by a variety of methods. Borrowing a ride from a friend or family member, taxi, bus, bike, etc. I'm not sure what you're expecting to get out of documenting an anxiety attack that you claim you had because she won't give you her car?

I need to say that this is for the best of our daughter, and it is hers. She could end up paying child support, but that is not really my concern.

Like Shellshocked said, you can do a search on "in loco parentis" on this forum. How is the CS situation between you and the child's bio mom handled? This may have an affect on CS from your new ex if you pursue it.

I need to stop her from trying to evict us. I also need to start a legal process in order to request interm spousal support.

You need a lawyer and one that isn't blowing smoke to increase conflict and thus inflate your legal bill. I have a feeling that you consulted with 4 attorneys because 3 of them didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. I think its good to shop around for an attorney that works for you but I truly caution you to avoid getting a high-conflict attorney because you really have a difficult case here. You have an uphill battle and I'd implore you to show reason about what you can accomplish legally. Your posts are wayyyy off of what in reality will probably happen, in my opinion.

I believe she would look bad, as I have really multiple health issues and all documented and have a doctor's note.

With all due respect, I disagree. I think she's being prudent and wise. She's trying to protect her assets. She's gotten legal advice and she's given you reasonable notice to vacate and cut off common accounts. This is pretty standard stuff. Again, I don't think you're not going to get really far with the "she's a meanie" legal strategy. I would suggest that there's a certain expectation that 48 year olds are somewhat self-sufficient. But I have a feeling that you're going to barrelling down this road no matter what anyone says here.

You definitely have a very interesting case and it will be fascinating to see how you handle it and the outcome. Good luck!

 

[MohGrana]

This reply is for Pusuying Happiness

This reply is for Pusuying Happiness

I think I am naive, but not stupid and I am not victimizing myself. I also think that last person who replied and took the work to respond is a woman who would sympathize with her gender. I might need a reality check, and so does she. By the way all the lawyers told me the same thing, and you know what she has more to lose, as you do not know all the story, and just for starters she use to be an alcoholic, and helped her stay sober and quit. Plus she has anger problems, and does not believe in marriage because of her parents divorce as she lived it, and has many psychological problems. If this goes court, I will show the facts and bring all the witnesses who know us a a couple and basically as a married, and even her mother can testify this if she does not lie.

I believe the last comment about my case was very helpful as I now know that we live in very dangerous place, but believe me I will fight for what it is mine and justice always prevails.

I think the gender bias is happening in this forum, and I am not expecting any sympathy and I will keep it professional with facts than emotions, as a few people are compassionate towards their spouse when they separate. I have a lot to say about this case, and it is not that simple that after 13 years, a spouse just because he or she has assets on her name mean they are entirely his or hers. With a good representation of the facts and many other factors that played a great role in this relationship, I can assure you she will lose a lot.

If I am wrong, that is fine but I have read many cases of unjust enrichment and express trust, and this one of them How did she achieve this great career of her? with my support as a spouse and I have deprived myself from advancing in my life and career sacrificing it for the sake our family, and now bye bye, everything is hers. How about my contributions? and all my sacrifices, so when things are good, it is all ours otherwise they are hers.

 

[Rioe]

believe me I will fight for what it is mine and justice always prevails.

This isn't true, unfortunately. In family law, it's primarily all about who has the best lawyer and who can pay them longer, not justice.

As for your situation, I don't think it's necessarily gender bias, though probably there's a certain amount of that still entrenched in family law.

What you're running up against is the difference between separation of a married couple, and separation of a common-law couple. Equalization and support are done quite differently. In marriage breakdown, everything is shared 50-50, especially the matrimonial home, no matter whose name is on what. In common-law breakdown, you each keep the assets in your name, and only joint possessions are shared out. In marriage breakdown, there are more entitlements to spousal support due to financial partnerships and assumptions. In common-law, it's all about what you can prove.

So you have an uphill battle ahead of you for your common-law breakdown to be treated like a marriage breakdown.

You would be far better off negotiating with your ex than getting court involved. Your first post indicated that she wanted to negotiate spousal support with you, so she does seem to acknowledge some sort of entitlement. So start respectfully negotiating it with her instead of whining about how she is treating you.

Do your research about the legal differences in the two types of marriage breakdown, and then you can negotiate with her from a position of knowledge, and a realistic idea about what might be successful if you had to fight in court. Because going to court is the best way to have all the money you are fighting over taken away from BOTH of you and given to lawyers.

 

[Pursuinghappiness]

and you know what she has more to lose

Well as she's the only one working, I'm sure she does have more to lose. But if you think for one minute that you're going to get off without a giant legal bill given what you've stated your goals are...you're out of your mind. You'd be wise to listen to the people who've been through the family law process. Its not like a TV court case. You don't even understand the difference between allegations vs evidence. You don't understand that 90% of what you type in your posts is completely irrelevant to your case.

and just for starters she use to be an alcoholic, and helped her stay sober and quit. Plus she has anger problems, and does not believe in marriage because of her parents divorce as she lived it, and has many psychological problems. If this goes court, I will show the facts and bring all the witnesses who know us a a couple and basically as a married, and even her mother can testify this if she does not lie.

All of this is completely irrelevant. It proves nothing and using her mother or other witnesses as a negative advocates will not help you. Judges don't care about bullcrap affidavits. Half the time, they don't even read them. They care about settling cases by dealing with real issues...not listening to a bunch of people spouting slanderous crap.

By the way, I find it interesting that you are trying to prove a family law venture and yet keep saying that she doesn't believe in marriage. Do you even understand that that is contrary to what you're trying to prove since she didn't view herself as married to you?

I think the gender bias is happening in this forum,

Actually if you were a female, I'd tell you exactly the same thing. That you're a grown adult and parent and need to be self-supporting through the separation process. It can take up to a year to get an order for SS once you prove that you're even entitled. And the divorce process is extremely expensive. She won't be paying for that, you will. So if you want to have this huge, costly case you're talking about including slanderous affidavits from all these negative advocates...you're gonna need some money.

a spouse just because he or she has assets on her name mean they are entirely his or hers

She's not your spouse...didn't view herself as your spouse and assets that are in her name are absolutely hers in a common law situation. You have an expensive uphill battle to prove entitlement to her assets. The only thing you may be eligible currently is potentially some value in the house asset IF you can prove unjust enrichment...and you need evidence for that. And you may be entitled to SS since you are unemployed. You'll have to prove in loco parentis for CS and that's another uphill battle.

With a good representation of the facts and many other factors that played a great role in this relationship, I can assure you she will lose a lot.

You seem hell bent on making her "lose a lot" but you'll lose too. You have an entitled mentality that leads you to believe its just her that will pay but that's far from reality. That's how I know you're completely off base. You seem hell bent on punishing her but that's not how it works. You're going to understand what I'm saying very, very soon. You haven't even started down the rabbit hole yet...it gets much worse.

with my support as a spouse and I have deprived myself from advancing in my life and career sacrificing it for the sake our family,

Did you give up a career to raise children that you had with her? I don't get what you're talking about here. You have a child with someone else and are a grown man. How did she possibly stop you from advancing in your career. You are not married to this woman and are in a common law situation. You actually have to prove entitlement to SS and she has a pretty good argument not to pay you.

This isn't gym class. A doctor's note isn't necessarily going to excuse you from having an income imputed to you.

If you have good paper records (not hearsay) of the financial contributions you made, you may recoup some of what you put in...but you won't win any huge financial winfall.

Honestly, you're in for a rude awakening. You have no idea right now how little the things you think are important are going to matter in court.

If you had any sense, you'd negotiate with her. It sounds like she has a very good understanding of the process and how to start doing things...like cutting off joint assets.

Like I said, you need a reality check...unlike you, I've been dealing with the family law system for almost 4 years.

You're actually too clueless to have a healthy fear of what this process it entails. Its not what you think it is...wait until the first time a judge cuts you off and tells you that he/she doesn't want to listen to any more irrelevant nonsense that you don't have hard evidence for. Its coming...don't say I didn't warn you.

 

[standing on the sidelines]

might as well forget trying to explain it to him PH. He only wants to hear that he will win, wont cost him any money and that she will pay for being a "mean" person to him. Its going to be interesting if he finds a lawyer who will be honest with him.

To the OP time to put on your big boy pants and move on with your life. If its so bad living at your ex common law partners place then MOVE. Maybe in with one of these friends who will come to court with you. Your child (not hers) deserves to live in a better place if there is that much hostility, or are you going to be a meanie to your child and make her live there?