Common As Dirt - Another Case Record
- Thread starter ninehundredt
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ninehundredt
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Approximately 4 months. I applied in December of last year. They began the investigation in mid-January. The social worker has been very candid. I'm fairly confident she'll make an objective decision. Fingers crossed.
ninehundredt
New member
Finally had the OCL disclosure meeting, and their recommendation is that I be granted sole custody of the children. I am still waiting on receiving the formal report document in the mail from their office in Toronto, but I anticipate it will arrive sometime next week.
In the meantime I've received an interim offer to settle from my ex's lawyer, that vaguely describes an access arrangement and vacation schedule for the summer months. I responded with a series of questions to address the ambiguous or missing points of the offer to settle. He responded with a minutes of settlement which addresses my questions.
The matter is scheduled to be spoken to this coming Monday, but I am hesitant to agree to these minutes of settlement. I want more than anything to have regular access restored with the kids, but the language of the minutes of settlement worries me. Based on the short time frame I have been unable to book time with my consulting lawyer until later next week.
At this point it seems like I've won a major battle in a long war, and I don't want to screw anything up this close to a resolution. Here's a link to a white-out copy of the minutes on this thread, could someone give me feedback?
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B7aii24w4bSMSThFRk1TQjlQQ1U
In the meantime I've received an interim offer to settle from my ex's lawyer, that vaguely describes an access arrangement and vacation schedule for the summer months. I responded with a series of questions to address the ambiguous or missing points of the offer to settle. He responded with a minutes of settlement which addresses my questions.
The matter is scheduled to be spoken to this coming Monday, but I am hesitant to agree to these minutes of settlement. I want more than anything to have regular access restored with the kids, but the language of the minutes of settlement worries me. Based on the short time frame I have been unable to book time with my consulting lawyer until later next week.
At this point it seems like I've won a major battle in a long war, and I don't want to screw anything up this close to a resolution. Here's a link to a white-out copy of the minutes on this thread, could someone give me feedback?
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B7aii24w4bSMSThFRk1TQjlQQ1U
Last edited:
paco
New member
Great news, what's OCL's explanation on their recommendation, why they recommended sole custody to father?
Don't buy into their offer, prepare a count offer based on OCL report with kids primary residence to father and mother having access every other weekend. They rush into a settlement because they want to close a deal faster, if you believe that you need more time ask the judge for an adjournment to properly prepare your offer and to consult with your lawyer, don't rush making a decision.
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ninehundredt
New member
They investigated over a few months, interviewing both parents, counselors, teachers, family members, police, FACS....etc. They also performed observations with both parents while the children were in their care.
The conclusion was that the mother intentionally fabricated allegations, continually made attempts to block any access with the children, and withheld information regarding their education and developmental progress. She basically has made every attempt to frustrate the relationship. None of her assertions could be verified / no evidence was found to back them up.
They stated that she has been unreasonable basically since the initial separation, whereas I've made every attempt to be reasonable and/or compromise. Because of this history of behavior, they feel I'm better suited to co-parent and make the important decisions regarding the children.
I'll make a white-out copy of the report available in this thread once I receive it. Could be helpful to other people to understand the process, or as a comparison to another investigation. I have heard good and bad things about OCL investigations, and it's certainly possible to have a bad experience of your social worker isn't doing their job properly.
paco
New member
ninehundredt
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My OCL social worker is a woman.
arabian
New member
Congratulations!
What an awesome feeling you must be experiencing now.
Very wise of you to be careful about rushing into accepting anything. I'm sure people on here will have some great advice for you.
Too bad the mother can't be charged but then losing custody is going to be a big deal for her so I guess she will pay for it for the rest of her life.
What an awesome feeling you must be experiencing now.
Very wise of you to be careful about rushing into accepting anything. I'm sure people on here will have some great advice for you.
Too bad the mother can't be charged but then losing custody is going to be a big deal for her so I guess she will pay for it for the rest of her life.
ninehundredt
New member
Thanks for the kind words. I'm cautiously optimistic.
Congratulations - I was actually reviewing this thread to see if I was giving proper advice and I saw on page 10 that I suggested you file for sole custody because what she was doing was grounds for you to get sole custody and I am happy OCL agreed.
Not tooting my horn but just seeing if I am on the ball when it comes to these things....
I think you SHOULD be cautiously optimistic.... You are over the peak now, enjoy the ride down!
I think you should ask for her to have supervised access for the first x months to make sure she doesn't try again to destroy your relationship with the kids. This is actually important, she will probably still try to destroy your relationship with the child(ren)
Make sure you impute income to her, she must pay you child support.
Also, if she is employed she needs to pay you spousal support because you will have the sole care of young children and that is a grounds for spousal support. I kid you not, spousal support is partially a salary to sole custody parents. The law is very clear.
Are the dads on this forum undefeated?
Not tooting my horn but just seeing if I am on the ball when it comes to these things....
I think you SHOULD be cautiously optimistic.... You are over the peak now, enjoy the ride down!
I think you should ask for her to have supervised access for the first x months to make sure she doesn't try again to destroy your relationship with the kids. This is actually important, she will probably still try to destroy your relationship with the child(ren)
Make sure you impute income to her, she must pay you child support.
Also, if she is employed she needs to pay you spousal support because you will have the sole care of young children and that is a grounds for spousal support. I kid you not, spousal support is partially a salary to sole custody parents. The law is very clear.
Are the dads on this forum undefeated?
ninehundredt
New member
So quick question. Not sure if anyone has had a look at the minutes of settlement link I posted (sent to me by ex's lawyer), but I don't agree with it in it's entirety.
Although I'm going to ask for an adjournment at court tomorrow so I can have my consulting lawyer review the OCL report...etc, I would like to get my access restored per the OCL's recommendation.
Is there any way to accomplish this outside of getting the other party to agree to an offer to settle?
Since it's not a motion, I don't think I can ask the judge to update the interim order either. Thoughts?
Although I'm going to ask for an adjournment at court tomorrow so I can have my consulting lawyer review the OCL report...etc, I would like to get my access restored per the OCL's recommendation.
Is there any way to accomplish this outside of getting the other party to agree to an offer to settle?
Since it's not a motion, I don't think I can ask the judge to update the interim order either. Thoughts?
ninehundredt
New member
Good advice for sure, but it's still such an uphill battle. I've been at this for over two years now...for what could have been reasonably settled in a matter of months. The process really needs an overhaul. There should also be more constraints placed on legal aid recipients to keep them from abusing the system. Anyway I'm off to court (again).
LovingFather32
New member
Congrats buddy.
That OCL report will assist you Im sure. OP's knees are shaking and now vague settlement stuff will begin to flow out.
LAO certificate checks are still being delved out to your ex I'm sure ... They'll hand her cash until the last second before a trial.
Be patient, dont accept ANYTHING you arnt comfy with ... ride the Legal Aid $ tidal wave until they stop feeding her money to fuel this nonsense. Keep a smile on your face .. looks like you'll get sole.
That OCL report will assist you Im sure. OP's knees are shaking and now vague settlement stuff will begin to flow out.
LAO certificate checks are still being delved out to your ex I'm sure ... They'll hand her cash until the last second before a trial.
Be patient, dont accept ANYTHING you arnt comfy with ... ride the Legal Aid $ tidal wave until they stop feeding her money to fuel this nonsense. Keep a smile on your face .. looks like you'll get sole.
ninehundredt
New member
LovingFather32
New member
Legal Aid Lawyers paycheck.
Her lawyer will have to apply for more money every now and then. So usually all the Legal Aid "check-cutters" get to see are the gruesome false allegations .. or whatever the scummy Legal Aid lawyer says in his application for more $$.
It was only at my final Legal Aid Settlement Conference that I decided to bring everything (evidence she was lying, judges orders in my favor, etc).....thats when she was told I would achieve sole if she wasn't reasonable ...then she admitted she lied.
The key is to get these certificates to stop coming to pay for her litigation lies. No money = No lawyer for her = even playing field = settlement.
ninehundredt
New member
Ah I see. Now that the OCL report is on file, I'm not sure how things will go in terms of her receiving legal aid. I just had my first full weekend access in almost a year this past weekend. Wednesday overnight visits have been great too. Things have been quiet for the time being, but I'm expecting my ex will attempt to frustrate access at her next opportunity.
I'm in the process of moving closer to the kids, and working on a draft settlement agreement in the meantime. Settlement conference is scheduled for August. So far so good without a lawyer.
paco
New member
Happy for you, don't settle for less, it's a great achievement and next is sole custody, soon she'll run out of money, no more funding on lies and deceiving...
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LovingFather32
New member
Congrats on having your first weekend with the kids in a while. I remember the feeling...pure happiness.
Take pictures, schedule an eye/ear appt, be up to date with physicals, dentists, etc. Keep receipts for things bought. You're a good dad .. so be sure to document it.
The OCL report was in your favor if I'm not mistaken correct? I'm NO fan of the OCL but that's great for you. Helps your case.
If she attempts to frustrate future access she's digging her own hole. Sit back, be reasonable, whip out OTS's, mediation requests, arbitration, family counseling, etc. Be the resolution-seeker .. let her be the negative Nancy who frustrates access.
With Legal Aid Ontario, from what I understand they won't see the OCL report, or the continuing record .. or anything the Legal Aid inflaming lawyer doesn't want them to see. It will be up to you to get in touch with LAO and get them to see the "real facts" .. so that they can stop giving your ex financial wings for this.
Keep up the good work!
LF32
ninehundredt
New member
Sorry I haven't been on here much. OCL report was in my favor. I ended up settling with joint custody though, which in retrospect was a huge mistake. I should have just went to trial and tried for sole. Live and learn.
Now she's taken me back to court again. This time we're in a new jurisdiction / court. We asked for an OCL update, but the judge denied it...stating there wasn't any real need. On a positive note the judge told her in the case conference that there is no way she's going to get sole custody back.
I'm fairly sure this is going to be the story until the kids grow up. Every six months take dad to court for frivolous reasons. I have no idea where she is getting the income to keep paying lawyers. This has been going on for over 4 years now. How are things going with you?
Now she's taken me back to court again. This time we're in a new jurisdiction / court. We asked for an OCL update, but the judge denied it...stating there wasn't any real need. On a positive note the judge told her in the case conference that there is no way she's going to get sole custody back.
I'm fairly sure this is going to be the story until the kids grow up. Every six months take dad to court for frivolous reasons. I have no idea where she is getting the income to keep paying lawyers. This has been going on for over 4 years now. How are things going with you?