Just an update, as I've been posting in another thread, and should have kept most of the content in here for posterity. Some content is copied directly from this thread, but I've included a bit more detail for better context:
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f3/consequences-withholding-access-19283/
After a couple changes in representation I finally got a decent lawyer. Once in court, around July of 2014, the judge refused to grant joint custody, stating that it was not appropriate since the ex had shown she was not willing to co-parent. Judge had access restored immediately with my 2.5 year old daughter, and graduated access over a 5 month period with my youngest daughter (7 months old at the time). Access continued normally every other weekend, and every Wednesday evening for 2 hours (dinner with the kids) for the next year. The girls and I were in a regular routine, and aside from their mother being generally difficult during emails or exchanges, everything else was good.
Fast forward to July 2015. My first week-long summer vacation with the kids. I get a call from the ex late morning asking how the kids are doing. I tell her that my youngest (D1.5) didn’t sleep well, but otherwise they are doing well. She asks to speak with my D4. My daughter starts talking to her and mentions that my girlfriend is in the shower (kids say the darndest things I tell ya!). Then I assume her mother asks her to pass the phone back to me wherein she starts berating me for having a girlfriend over during the vacation with the kids. Since she was being belligerent and unintelligible I just hung up the phone.
15 minutes later there is a knock at the door. Guess who? I opened the door a crack and asked her what she wanted. She told me to get the girls ready and that she was taking them home. I told her that they are both fine and didn’t want to come home. She mentioned that the police have already been called, so I said that is good and we can wait for them to arrive to sort out the situation. She then became more agitated and began forcing her way into the house. I tried to keep her out but she shoved the door open and began shoving me as I blocked the stairwell to the living room. The kids became extremely upset, even with my girlfriend trying to calm them down. I decided it wasn’t worth them being traumatized, and let her pass. She grabbed them both by the arms and dragged them out of the house screaming. I told her that I would be contacting my lawyer, and she responded that I ‘would never see these kids again’.
I immediately called the police and they arrived shortly thereafter to take down statements from both myself and my girlfriend. My ex ended up going to the station as well, and when all was said and done they charged her with assault and forced entry. It was shortly after that I discovered that she now had a no-contact bail condition which basically makes our normal child exchanges impossible. After consulting my lawyer I got in touch with an exchange center 15 minutes from where both of us live. They were very accommodating and started a file. My lawyer forwarded the information to my ex so she could initiate her portion of the application. We gave her two weeks to respond / initiate the access and she ignored us.
We proceeded with an emergency motion to restore access. My ex responded in writing, claiming that I have been abusive to her and the children and was an unfit parent. She included photos of her bruised elbows (presumably from forcing her way into my house), yet claimed that I had punched her in the chest and back. I’ve never heard of anyone attacking someone in the elbow. She also included a picture of a bruise on my oldest daughter’s arm that she got while playing at the park earlier in the summer. Obviously grasping at straws.
The EM was heard towards the end of September, and the judge ordered her to initiate exchanges at the centre I applied to. A couple weeks passed, and she had still not been in contact with the exchange centre. My lawyer sent her a letter threatening continued court action if she refused to comply. A couple more weeks passed, so we went ahead with a motion of contempt, asking that the custody arrangement be reviewed and get OCL involved. I arrived at court in mid-October, but was sent home, as there was no sitting judge to hear the case. In addition I discovered that my ex’s lawyer refused to represent her moving forward, and she must find a new lawyer. The motion was postponed until the end of November 2015
Since then we’ve filed the paperwork for a new case conference, and served my ex. She’s responded with the same colorful response from before….stating that I am physically and verbally abusive to her and the children, and she wants me to have only supervised access with them. She wants the contempt dismissed, as she feels her withholding access is in the best interest of the children. My lawyer tells me that she has obtained representation from a lawyer who is notoriously difficult to work with (the type that delays and takes advantage of the system, rather than make attempts at solving the problem). In addition, the county still does not have a ‘sitting’ judge, and the temporary fill-in has a history of favoring women. My lawyer could not offer any encouragement, as he has no idea what to expect from this judge. That’s my experience up to this point. It will be 5 months on December 1st that I’ve not spoken or seen my children.
