Closing threads?

[SadAndTired]

I was wondering if someone could clarify why posts are closed?

This thread in particular

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f12/implied-self-harm-14209/

There was no name calling, nor abuse. Simply posters stating their opinion.

I find it frustrating that Tayken gets to throw his opinion around and then the thread is promptly closed. This has happened a few times lately.

I would submit that Tayken contradicts himself and, as with all of us on this board, we should be able to question the information and opinion he provides.

Finally, Tayken accused me of labeling therapy as only for the mentally ill, which, while completely untrue, he has done the same thing. With the thread closed, it does not allow me to respond.....

When you have to do that to the extent you have, and non-stop, you do need to seek professional therapy. Especially when the person you are doing it too is a far cry off from calling wolf.

That is your opinion and I kindly ask that you keep it to yourself. I kindly ask that you refrain from making libel statements against me on this message forum in such a manner.

As stated, I suffer no mental health issues.

Saying someone would benefit from professional therapy doesn't mean they have mental health issues Tayken. You said so yourself.

 

[Tayken]

It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything by Bill Eddy

They repeatedly sound the alarm of great danger and then persuade many people that they are the only heroes who can rescue them (or the children in high-conflict divorce, or the voters in high-conflict elections) from this great danger. The only problem is that the great danger may be non-existent, or quite exaggerated. Moreover, rather than actually being great heroes, they tend to have serious problems of their own which they don’t recognize. Whether in divorce or in politics, beware of the charm and the “I’ll-fight-for-you” statements proclaimed by the HCPs. Always ask: Is it really a crisis? Is this really a hero?

http://www.highconflictinstitute.co...d-the-news-media-mirror-high-conflict-divorce

n divorce and other legal disputes, a high-conflict person (HCP) tends to have the following 10 characteristics that drive the conflict higher and higher, rather than that reduce or resolve it (Eddy, 2006):

1) is rigid and uncompromising.

2) repeats failed strategies.

3) is unable to accept and heal loss.

4) makes everything personal.

5) has emotions that dominate his or her thinking.

6) is unable to reflect on his or her own behavior.

7) avoids responsibility for the problem or solution.

8) is preoccupied with blaming others.

9) draws others into the disputes (“negative advocates”).

10) can look really good for a few months (intelligent, attractive, charming, persuasive).

I score the post by the OP with a 5/10 from the above list.

But is this really a crisis? Is this really a hero? Or, are these sorts of “protective” parents really HCPs who truly believe that they know better than everyone else what is best for their children, despite what professionals and judges might say, who have a larger picture of the issues involved in a particular case? Certainly, our institutions, including family courts, always need re-assessment and reform of their procedures and knowledge-base, but all-or-nothing statements about them don’t help—they just feed public disrespect and dangerous self-help approaches.

This thread created by the OP is nothing more than a prime example of a "distortion campaign".

http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/FalseAccusations.html

http://www.highconflictinstitute.co...itions-related-to-high-conflict-personalities

Distortion Campaign: This is a term coined by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason, the authors of Stop Walking on Eggshells: When Someone You Love Has Borderline Personality Disorder (1998, New Harbinger Publications). This is a frequent occurrence for those with personality disorders, as they aggressively try to persuade others that their cognitive distortions are true. Since their distortions are usually obvious to others as extreme and unlikely, they escalate their emotions to try to persuade others that they are victims. The Targets of their distortion campaigns are often those closest to them who no longer support their cognitive distortions, which feels extremely threatening to the Blamer’s world view. These campaigns often involve spreading rumors to the Target’s extended family members, professionals (therapist, doctor, accountant, and so forth), community, and eventually to the courts.

Good Luck!
Tayken

 

[SadAndTired]

Funny Tayken, your original reply to me was this

Tayken has just replied to a thread you have subscribed to entitled - Closing threads? - in the General Chat forum of Ottawa Divorce .com Forums.

This thread is located at:
Closing threads? - Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

Here is the message that has just been posted:
***************
It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything by Bill Eddy (It's All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything by Bill Eddy)

Just saying...
***************

And you turned it into that? Talk about blowing it out of proportion. Try to stay on topic. I notice that you did not address my original concern which was that by trying to misrepresent my intentions into a disdain for mental health, you contradicted your own words completely. Convenient for you to ignore that point.

All I was asking for was clarification of the reason for closing threads. If my questioning of your flawed responses and contradictions is threatening to you, simply ask me to stop. I have not said anything is urgent or escalated my emotions. Good job on the cutting and pasting though.

Just asking a question. If you are the one that requested the thread be closed, I'd be happy to hear your reasons for it.

 

[blinkandimgone]

I was wondering if someone could clarify why posts are closed?

Closing threads is at the discretion of the moderators and admins. Most of the time the person closing the thread will make a final post and let everyone know why it is closed. Most of the time, but not always. Please see the board rules on moderation/closed threads.

Moderation
Mods will not delete or move posts willy-nilly, we will make decisions based on quantity, quality, and intensity. Mods are also ordinary members and post frequently, this has nothing to do with being Mods. Moderation is just housekeeping performed by an agreement between the board owner and the Mods. Do not complain about the Mods on the board, such posts will be immediately removed

With that being said...THIS thread is now closed.