Children's Furnishings

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Momoffour

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I was just wondering if anyone can answer a question that I have?
When dividing the marital properties for equalization is it the "norm" to include the children's furnishings(beds and dressers) in the portion of the parent that has the children living with them?
The STBX who will have access EOW wants their bedroom furniture included in my half of the properties to be divided.
My lawyer is against this but I was wondering what everyone else's thoughts are on this.
 
You should divide all marital properties equally.

The children will be sleeping at this house too, it will be good for them to have familiar stuff at both houses.

One cannot force items on the other. It is not up to your ex what you keep, that is up to you.

However, NOT worth fighting over with a lawyer!
 
If you get the furniture, then He will get something else to compensate.
You can spin it either way e.g. Excitement of new stuff vs familiarity of old stuff.
 
standing on the sidelines said:
how many kids involved? If there are two then i would say keep it fair and give one kids bedroom stuff to the other parent. That way you each have to only buy one bedroom outfit.
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I disagree. In theory, financially it makes sense, however it's unfair to the children that one of them has to give up their things and move them to another location.


The children's furnishings and other items are considered theirs and will stay where the children stay - especially if they stay in the matrimonial home. The point is to cause the least disruption possible for the kids. The parent whose homes the children's items are in does not get 'charged' for them.


I agree that it can be fun for them to pick out new items for their 'new' place and anything small or portable that they wish to bring back and forth can travel with them to provide some familiarity.

Legally, though, I do believe the children's items are excluded.
 
In my case the children bedrooms were excluded from the division. It considered as the children personal property.
More, Dad had requested one item that happened to be in our son bedroom. This cause to upset so much our son that he had to let it go. He expressed that he wanted to keep his bedroom intact.

So just careful about this, children are sensitive and consider anything that is in their bedroom theirs and it is one part that does not need to be divided.
Face it, one day they will move out and will probably bring those items with them.
 
blinkandimgone said:
I disagree. In theory, financially it makes sense, however it's unfair to the children that one of them has to give up their things and move them to another location.


The children's furnishings and other items are considered theirs and will stay where the children stay - especially if they stay in the matrimonial home. The point is to cause the least disruption possible for the kids. The parent whose homes the children's items are in does not get 'charged' for them.


I agree that it can be fun for them to pick out new items for their 'new' place and anything small or portable that they wish to bring back and forth can travel with them to provide some familiarity.

Legally, though, I do believe the children's items are excluded.
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Thank you Blinkandimgone!
This is the same way that I was thinking. One of my children is autistic and the other 2 younger ones are special needs also. Any changes are very upsetting for them and they like things being very familiar.
It is going to be tough enough for them because we have to move as I can not afford to buy him out of the family home. The dressers were given to them by my Mom so they can be considered as gifts.
They are only going to be sleeping at his place every other weekend(that is if he can even be bothered) and the rest of the time will be with me.
I just want my children to be as comfortable and happy as they can be. It is breaking my heart to have to make them move.
 
Well, I totally disagree.

The family is splitting into two homes - some of the kids stuff should end up in both homes.

Very lope sided and unreasonable view to say that all the familiar kids stuff has to stay with mom.
 
Nobody said it had to stay with 'mom', it was said that it should stay in the matrimonial home or with the children, whether that's with mom or with dad.
 
Remember, it is not the children who decided to separate. A separation takes the children world apart, if you can preserve one thing where they feel it is intact, it is their bedroom.
I guess that will also vary with the age of the children. But when the children can express themselves, they can decide if they want to split their things in the 2 houses or keep it at one place. It can be either place.

Kids tend to prefer keepings their things at the matrimonial home where it is their familiar place. That usually gives them time to ajust to all the changes.

When the matrimonial home is not kept, then it is easier for them to move their items as it is moving anyway. Again it is not necessary that kids stuff stay with mom but more where it make sense to them and usually were they spent most their time.

It is usually the only place that children have a say to where things goes.
 
Moolight said:
Remember, it is not the children who decided to separate. A separation takes the children world apart, if you can preserve one thing where they feel it is intact, it is their bedroom.
I guess that will also vary with the age of the children. But when the children can express themselves, they can decide if they want to split their things in the 2 houses or keep it at one place. It can be either place.
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Then one would question why in separation and divorce the parents time with the children isn't divided equally. Unless there is some serious abuse of the children EOW is something the other parent should not agree to in my opinion.

Moolight said:
Kids tend to prefer keepings their things at the matrimonial home where it is their familiar place. That usually gives them time to ajust to all the changes.
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50-50 full joint custody means that children don't have to adjust to the change of residence and change in access to both of their parents.

Moolight said:
When the matrimonial home is not kept, then it is easier for them to move their items as it is moving anyway. Again it is not necessary that kids stuff stay with mom but more where it make sense to them and usually were they spent most their time.
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Also, it isn't necessary that the kids stay with mom the majority of the time either.

Moolight said:
It is usually the only place that children have a say to where things goes.
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Unfortunate situation. Children shouldn't have to decided on where their stuff goes and how much time they can spend with either parent. Equal access and full joint custody is better for the children in the long run.
 
I never said that kids stay with mom the majority of the time just that since it make sense that they have an input in the things as they would in selecting new items for their room.
It could end up with dad or mom but respect the child wishes on where they would like their stuff.

It does not matter 50/50, a bedroom set and some items cannot move every week with the children.
I lived it with my children and they did not want to move any of their stuff even though it was one week/one week. Off course transportable items move with them as their wish and follow them in both houses.

We respected their wishes. Lawyer even confirmed that it was up to them to decide and to respect their wish.

More sone of their items would have not fit anyway in the second house. We always said even before separation that it was their items to keep and theirs to take when moving to their own house of apartment.

Now they feel they own both house bedroom items and have input in both. My ex got additional items from the house so at the end it is even.
 
blinkandimgone said:
Nobody said it had to stay with 'mom', it was said that it should stay in the matrimonial home or with the children, whether that's with mom or with dad.
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Huh?

That is what this thread is about - mom keeping the kids furniture. Don't make it a gender issue please.

Of course the kids furniture stays with the kids - but there are now two homes so that point is not relevant.

Why should the furniture stay in the matrimonial home?

I think it is best to have kids things from the original home in both homes. This would make both homes feel 'equal'. If the parents agree to something else, so be it. Saying it is upsetting for the kids is not realistic - people move all the time, its a normal thing.

Involving the kids in the decision when the parents don't agree is divisive - it should be a parents decision (which may include asking the kids, but the parents should come to an agreement first, and THEN go to the kids).
 
you guys are ridiculous!
1. These are the children's items, and if the children are mature enough to decide, then they should!


2. If the items came from one side of the family (say a grandmother) then they go to that parent's house.


3. If they items are a set, the set stays together.


4. The cost to outfit both bedrooms with the basic necessities (bed, mattress, dresser, sidetable, desk) should be equally shared by both parents, and NOT be included in EITHER parties equalization.

So if one parent has to buy all new furniture, the parents need to agree on a reasonable cost BEFORE PURCHASE, and then split the cost.

Each parent gets half of the kids bedding (assuming that most kids have 2 sets), and pays for the cost of any decorating personalization to the kids rooms at their house


Seriously people, that is common sense! You can't go out and buy a top of the line bedroom set and expect someone else to pay half, and you cant send your kids to visit the other parent and sleep on an inflatable mattress! Sheesh!:rolleyes:
 
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