Child Support

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Having words with someone is far different then having a raised voice argument about an affair,IMO. Kids shouldn't be hearing about that kind of thing to begin with, much less hearing it that way.

The issue was between mom and stepdad and should have stayed there, it had nothing to do with the boy and step dad's relationship and mom has no business allowing it to affect the relationship between the two of them. She makes him out to have been a good father in the past yet because it proves her case to gain child support for him, but uses her dislike for him and the issues she has with him as an excuse to undermine the boy's relationship with him.

You can't have it both ways, either he was a good dad and she should recognize that and encourage the relationship, keeping her intimate details out of it or he wasn't a good dad and she just wants money from him.
 
Hopeless in Hope said:
Typical man to take the side of a lying cheating dog!!
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Typical lazy ass no job bitch who used to work and then quit her job to sit around eating bons bons on the couch letting the new guy support her and her kid and then collecting CS from that same guy once he got tired of watching her get fat so he went and found someone else.

How do you like the generalizations now?
 
I agree, for the most part for sure, however a being a good Dad would include not cheating on his partner thus breaking up the family. It is agreed as well that his actions have absolutley nothing to do with family law in terms of her wishing to get support. I also agree that under normal circumstances that is between the adults. He is 18 and would certainly wish to know why the relationship ended, givin his age, I would have been honest about what happened. There is no doubt there could be a number of valid reasons for his behaviour, however it is what it is.
 
DTTE.....lol...You kill me, tell it like is....OMG too funny...thinking this forum lost another one.......
 
Key word being "was" a good Dad. Like I said...he has not had any contact with my son since he left this house nor has my son contacted him. I cannot force him to see his step father nor can I keep them apart, I am neutral. He is almost 18 years old and his feelings for not wanting to see him have nothing to do with me.
He was a good father until he started lying, cheating and spending time away from our family to be with someone else. He has spent thousands of dollars on this new woman for hotel rooms, gas to go see her and presents which also takes away from us...
This new man is like a stranger to us. If I had met this person 14 years ago, I would never had gotten involved with him. His morals and values are totally different than mine. His behavior, as a parent and role model, are atrocious!! It amazes me that I am being crucified...not the liar and the cheater!! I understand that there was obviously a problem in the relationship but I was unaware. I believed him when he said he was working late or was out for drinks with friends. He still came home and climbed into our bed. This could have all been avoided if he acted like a man, not a coward, and told me he didn't love me anymore!!
 
The reason you think you are being crucified is because in family law adultery doesn't matter. And you certainly appear more than eager to nail him to the financial cross in family court for his infidelity.

For an 18 year old who no longer a child of the marriage (look up that term, it's relevant) no less :mad:

You don't get sympathy via family law channels for his adulterous transgressions.

That you get from your therapist.
 
Hopeless in Hope said:
Key word being "was" a good Dad. Like I said...he has not had any contact with my son since he left this house nor has my son contacted him. I cannot force him to see his step father nor can I keep them apart, I am neutral. He is almost 18 years old and his feelings for not wanting to see him have nothing to do with me.
He was a good father until he started lying, cheating and spending time away from our family to be with someone else. He has spent thousands of dollars on this new woman for hotel rooms, gas to go see her and presents which also takes away from us...
This new man is like a stranger to us. If I had met this person 14 years ago, I would never had gotten involved with him. His morals and values are totally different than mine. His behavior, as a parent and role model, are atrocious!! It amazes me that I am being crucified...not the liar and the cheater!! I understand that there was obviously a problem in the relationship but I was unaware. I believed him when he said he was working late or was out for drinks with friends. He still came home and climbed into our bed. This could have all been avoided if he acted like a man, not a coward, and told me he didn't love me anymore!!
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The relationship between the two of you changed and you allowed it to poison the son's relationship. Regardless of age, that's just unacceptable. You let your personal feelings influence your child's towards his father which is so wrong on so many levels. I've got 10 bucks that says during the arguments you had with your child within earshot YOU were the one that brought up the affair for the kid to overhear?

But it's all irrelevant, as long as you can get him for child support without having to support them having a relationship, right? You just want him to pay for the time he 'was' a good dad.
 
It wouldn't matter how the relationship ended...I still feel he has a financial responsibility to my son. I am not out to nail him to the financil cross. I left a 50,000yr job, that I had for 19 yrs, to relocate with this man whom I loved and trusted with me and my son. I also worked 2 jobs during the summer so I do not sit at home all day and eat bon bons...I have looked for work, taken my resume out but no luck. I am not against them having a relationship, which I think in time, might happen.
 
Actually I have sole custody of my kids and I had to re-file our order with the FRO to get her to pay CS and then take her back to court for a motion to vary when she refused to honour the court order by adjusting the CS based on her income.

If you scour the 3,000+ posts I have made in this forum, you will not once see where I called her a deadbeat.

Indeed in my almost 4 years here you are the only person who I have called a bitch.

And you may have noticed that I'm not the only person who thinks you are out to lunch with your position.

I've seen your kind come and go here many times over. Shooting down your ridiculous emotionally driven, vindictive and especially non-child centred argument is sport to me.
 
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Hopeless, my advice, don't go jumping on him for money right now. Focus your efforts on perhaps repairing the relationship between the child and the father and see what comes out of it. Perhaps he would LIKE to support the child with his schooling and have a relationship without dealing with the issues of your marriage. I know this is a painful time but really try to stop yourself from using your kid as an emotional crutch. Unless there is some saftey issue that concerns your household, you should not give the details of why the marriage ended just that it did and you are there to make things better for your child and also show the child you want the father to be on the same page by being child centered and reasonable. Parents can KILL a relationship with their kids with conflict.
 
FINALLY...somebody that makes sense!!! Part of the problem is...I have no money. He cut off access to the bank accounts, cut off the car insurance, cut off the phone and cable. My son is angry for his own reasons and I can't force a relationship...my ex has not attempted to contact him at all through text, facebook or email, which only adds to my sons anger. My son has heard me cry myself to sleep at night, he has seen the devastaion and pain this affair has caused me...I have had days where I haven't been able to get out of bed let alone shower! Unfortunately, my son does know the truth, he is not 5 and he does ask questions and I will not lie to him. I tried months ago to fix this relationship and told my son that I was willing to do whatever it took to get our family back on track...sadly, my ex was not! I thank you for your encouraging words...for understanding the pain we are both going through!!
 
Holy contradict yourself much? Mrsb said the same thing everyone else said, stop putting your kid in the middle and exposing him to the garbage.

And good for him for cancelling the phone and cable accounts in his name - why should he be responsible for any bills that you rack up in his name after you 'threw him out'? Get. A. Job. Get your own accounts and pay your own bills, evidently you've managed to maintain an internet account.
 
You need to get out of bed. You can't let your kid see you like that. Regardless of his age. Your child needs to see a strong healthy parent.
 
Hopeless in Hope said:
My son has heard me cry myself to sleep at night, he has seen the devastaion and pain this affair has caused me...I have had days where I haven't been able to get out of bed let alone shower! Unfortunately, my son does know the truth, he is not 5 and he does ask questions and I will not lie to him.
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That is just soooooo WRONG! :(

Your pain should be dealt with responsibly... you are a fully grown woman .. start acting like it!!

Seek therapy.. medication.. whatever it takes!! Don't lay in bed, filthy, bawling your eyes out... in front of your child!! :mad:

I am not suprised he is angry with his step-father, if that is how you are behaving.
 
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