Just wanted to get this forums opinion re child support. I am the recipient of child support and am not very clear as to what it covers. Want others opinions, how it works in their situation. For example, birthday presents for birthday parties from school friends. When the children are with me, I decide whether the children attend and pay for the gift. When the children are with dad, he decides whether they attend or not, but he is of the view that I should buy the birthday gift for the child(ren) attending. Does this seem right? Your thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.
child support - what exactly does it cover
- Thread starter krfirst
- Start date
- Status
Decent Dad
New member
hmmm... ask 10 different people and you will get 10 different answers...
Do you receive full table support? What is the access (50-50... 90-10)?
Do you receive full table support? What is the access (50-50... 90-10)?
littleman
New member
CS coverage
CS coverage
it covers basic day to day living expenses for your child......birthday parties and trivial things like that are whoever has the child that weekend responsibility.......dental, medical, daycare things like that are split according to wage ratio.........CS covers (or supposed to) food, clothing and daily living expenses......it doesnt fully cover but propotionately does......hope that helps
CS coverage
it covers basic day to day living expenses for your child......birthday parties and trivial things like that are whoever has the child that weekend responsibility.......dental, medical, daycare things like that are split according to wage ratio.........CS covers (or supposed to) food, clothing and daily living expenses......it doesnt fully cover but propotionately does......hope that helps
Decent Dad
New member
hmmm... person #1... answer #1...
Littleman... I am curious of your line ... birthday parties and trivial things
Let's say you spend $500 per month in CS... $600 per month in daycare... how much is left over in the "pot" to spend on birthdays and other trivial things, simply because those events happen to land on the paying parent's days? Ahh... the great double-dip.
Birthday present, wrapping paper, card: $30-$40
Did the ex provide proper clothing? Yes? No? Maybe another $50
Gas there and back: $5
Thats $35-$95. On average about 1 party per month. Plus their party... and on and on... those trivial things add up.
You see how quickly the paying parent gets burned.
Littleman... I am curious of your line ... birthday parties and trivial things
Let's say you spend $500 per month in CS... $600 per month in daycare... how much is left over in the "pot" to spend on birthdays and other trivial things, simply because those events happen to land on the paying parent's days? Ahh... the great double-dip.
Birthday present, wrapping paper, card: $30-$40
Did the ex provide proper clothing? Yes? No? Maybe another $50
Gas there and back: $5
Thats $35-$95. On average about 1 party per month. Plus their party... and on and on... those trivial things add up.
You see how quickly the paying parent gets burned.
Decent Dad
New member
hmm... let me spin this another way. Why do you, as the recipient, feel you should not pay for it.
logicalvelocity
Moderator
I know some parents that incur $300 - $400 a month in travel expenses exercising the child's access notwithstanding that such access is the right of the child and therefore making it a parental responsibility. This amount is paid over and above monthly tabled child support.
lv
lv
FL_Needs_To_Change
Moderator
Yes, I agree with LV and littleman.
We are an example, we cover all costs associated with access, and mother relocated to Thunder bay, more than 18 hrs straight driving from us, with but 10 days prior notice, court would not hear our claims on the same (that's a whole other ball of wax), but we were expected by the custodial mother to cover all costs associated with access and refused to even "offer" to cover anything in regard to access, as she put it, "It's a matter of priority, and I would expect Mr. X to put his child before his own personal needs". "If he doesn’t want to see his daughter that's his choice, but who gets hurt here? Not him”. Guilt trip?? you bet!!
A birthday present here and there, and a few streamers is really nothing and really should not be an issue. The cost should be covered by whom ever is giving the birthday party, and the other parent simply provides the regular gift(s) for the child. I'd rather that then the $800+ we now incur in fuel, accommodations and food to exercise visitation.
Do NOT turn this into a matter of wits. This is too trivial to split hairs over.
There are far worse things to worry about. Advise the other parent, if I give the party I will cover the supplies, and equally if you give a party. If we do it together, (if that is an option) then the costs could be split 50-50.
We are an example, we cover all costs associated with access, and mother relocated to Thunder bay, more than 18 hrs straight driving from us, with but 10 days prior notice, court would not hear our claims on the same (that's a whole other ball of wax), but we were expected by the custodial mother to cover all costs associated with access and refused to even "offer" to cover anything in regard to access, as she put it, "It's a matter of priority, and I would expect Mr. X to put his child before his own personal needs". "If he doesn’t want to see his daughter that's his choice, but who gets hurt here? Not him”. Guilt trip?? you bet!!
A birthday present here and there, and a few streamers is really nothing and really should not be an issue. The cost should be covered by whom ever is giving the birthday party, and the other parent simply provides the regular gift(s) for the child. I'd rather that then the $800+ we now incur in fuel, accommodations and food to exercise visitation.
Do NOT turn this into a matter of wits. This is too trivial to split hairs over.
There are far worse things to worry about. Advise the other parent, if I give the party I will cover the supplies, and equally if you give a party. If we do it together, (if that is an option) then the costs could be split 50-50.
Decent Dad
New member
oh.. don't get me wrong. I pay full table CS and pay about $350-$500 per month in these trivial "extras". As well as $200 per month in gas (from my latest calculation) since my ex refuses to help in the driving.
littleman
New member
extra expenses
extra expenses
I dont want this to turn to debate however in MY case I am sole custodial parent and in my opinion (and his lawyers) if he wants to exercise access then he has to do all the driving to and return my child home.......as for birthday parties why would I supply a gift for a child I have never met.....what I stated was that the parent who has the child at the time of the event should pay for the gift for the other child.......just like when my child goes to the movies with is father I dont pay for that.....this is done by choice on the fathers part not mine....the paying parent (in my case) thinks his child can get by on 346$ per month........to help feed,clothe,house.......give me a break my child is 12 and can eat 346$ in a month alone.......oh yes my child is growing like a bad weed (meaning 3 sizes since January) at that rate 346$ doesnt put clothes on my childs back little lone all the trivial things........ yes trivial things.....I say trivial because if my child is healthy, fed,safe then everything else is trivial......
extra expenses
I dont want this to turn to debate however in MY case I am sole custodial parent and in my opinion (and his lawyers) if he wants to exercise access then he has to do all the driving to and return my child home.......as for birthday parties why would I supply a gift for a child I have never met.....what I stated was that the parent who has the child at the time of the event should pay for the gift for the other child.......just like when my child goes to the movies with is father I dont pay for that.....this is done by choice on the fathers part not mine....the paying parent (in my case) thinks his child can get by on 346$ per month........to help feed,clothe,house.......give me a break my child is 12 and can eat 346$ in a month alone.......oh yes my child is growing like a bad weed (meaning 3 sizes since January) at that rate 346$ doesnt put clothes on my childs back little lone all the trivial things........ yes trivial things.....I say trivial because if my child is healthy, fed,safe then everything else is trivial......
FL_Needs_To_Change
Moderator
I apologize, as my comments came off as insulting to some.
Not my intention. Bottom line I was trying to point out the person giving the party covers the costs, parent not present at the party sends a gift for "their own child" if it is their birthday that is being celebrated.
If the party were at the custodial parents home, ditto for the non-custodial parent they would only send gift(s) to "their child" if it was their birthday being celebrated.
That is all I meant.
Sorry.
Not my intention. Bottom line I was trying to point out the person giving the party covers the costs, parent not present at the party sends a gift for "their own child" if it is their birthday that is being celebrated.
If the party were at the custodial parents home, ditto for the non-custodial parent they would only send gift(s) to "their child" if it was their birthday being celebrated.
That is all I meant.
Sorry.
Decent Dad
New member
$346 plus your share as well.. let's not forget your share...
And there you have it - why is it a gray area? Because no two situations are the same.
If my child is invited to a party in my community on the exes time and he accepts to take them to the same, then I would provide the gift.
If my child is invited to a party by someone in the exes community on my time, I would provide the gift.
If my child is invited to a party by someone in the exes community on his time, I would NOT provide the gift.
I also get significantly more CS than Littleman for my two children, so I think an argument can be made that a $30 gift is a reasonable expense for me to incur.
I see my approach as logical and yet I imagine others would disagree with me.
If my child is invited to a party in my community on the exes time and he accepts to take them to the same, then I would provide the gift.
If my child is invited to a party by someone in the exes community on my time, I would provide the gift.
If my child is invited to a party by someone in the exes community on his time, I would NOT provide the gift.
I also get significantly more CS than Littleman for my two children, so I think an argument can be made that a $30 gift is a reasonable expense for me to incur.
I see my approach as logical and yet I imagine others would disagree with me.
Decent Dad
New member
In my situation, there is no real rule. I am usually caught between a rock and hard place. If I don't pay for it, they don't go, regardless of which day. This extends to just about everything, including parties, lessons, etc., etc.*
The kicker is when it is not my day, and I DO pay for it, and the ex doesn't take them.
Don't worry, I'm saving up a special fund for years of analysis and councelling for my child.
* except for the child's main birthday party (with friends, etc). She does pay for that. I am not allowed to attend (not sure where it is). Her boyfriend can. Her friends and family can. And the child's friends can. But not me. So that one I do not directly pay for (although it comes out of my CS... so in a way I do pay for it). Oh the fun.
The kicker is when it is not my day, and I DO pay for it, and the ex doesn't take them.
Don't worry, I'm saving up a special fund for years of analysis and councelling for my child.
* except for the child's main birthday party (with friends, etc). She does pay for that. I am not allowed to attend (not sure where it is). Her boyfriend can. Her friends and family can. And the child's friends can. But not me. So that one I do not directly pay for (although it comes out of my CS... so in a way I do pay for it). Oh the fun.
FL_Needs_To_Change
Moderator
In these cases it is my understanding that it is NOT the child of the marriage’s birthday, but rather a party the child of the marriage has been invited to and out of common courtesy is bringing a gift.
IN any instance, regardless of who's community it is, I would think (my view) that whom ever is scheduled to have the child and if that parent agrees to take the child, then they should provide the gift. If the other parent is driving as a favour to the other and it is not during their regular visitation time, then they are not responsible for the gift.
Sk8r said:
Sk8r said:
Sk8r said:
IN any instance, regardless of who's community it is, I would think (my view) that whom ever is scheduled to have the child and if that parent agrees to take the child, then they should provide the gift. If the other parent is driving as a favour to the other and it is not during their regular visitation time, then they are not responsible for the gift.
Decent Dad
New member
FL_Needs_To_Change said:
The problem in that is, the parent has already paid CS (a lot of CS) to cover those things. So now they are caught... with no gift the payer must decide to spend (again) money on the child and allow them to go. Most likely they will, but it does get tiring. And as access increases, the odds of these things increase with no break in support.
If the paying parent was not involved, it would the soley the person receiving the CS to make these decisions. And if they do not take the child, they pocket the CS.
So you get financially burned for being involved. Payers all know this... the ultimate rock and hard place.
Decent Dad
New member
today...
I couldn't even imagine
a) not having to PAY child support
b) receiving $346 per month
No wonder my ex is dumping so much into her RRSP's.
I couldn't even imagine
a) not having to PAY child support
b) receiving $346 per month
No wonder my ex is dumping so much into her RRSP's.
hubby
New member
Good to be back!
Good to be back!
Well ... I see some new faces and some old!
DD! Got too love you ... you always know how to incite a riot! LOL
Well, having to pay a fortune in CS, my ex asked me to pay for life jackets for the kids since I will be taking them to the camper this year -- I told her, that my money tree has not blossemed yet!
So, again does CS cover items deemed 'for the children' ...
Hubby
Good to be back!
Well ... I see some new faces and some old!
DD! Got too love you ... you always know how to incite a riot! LOL
Well, having to pay a fortune in CS, my ex asked me to pay for life jackets for the kids since I will be taking them to the camper this year -- I told her, that my money tree has not blossemed yet!
So, again does CS cover items deemed 'for the children' ...
Hubby
I see that I'm a little late on this post but I have a few questions. What does CS really cover? Food, Clothing, Shelter. Now what does everyone else do when they split their time with their ex`s. Do they send a bag of clothes back and forth? I am a payer and I would like it clarified on what CS covers. The ex asked me to supply my son with his own clothes at my house. I have a hard time with since I pay $1200/month for a single child.
- Status