Child support arrears

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DAHP_01_05_12

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Hello everyone,

I`ve been browsing this website for over a year and finally decided to create my own post as it relates to my situation. We are not on speaking terms.

-Married 8 years, together 11 years, Separated Jan 2012 (he cheated, three times with the same woman and it`s been an ongoing issue for numerous years)
-Extremely high amount of joint debts
-He makes approx. 95/year and I make 45/year
-We both always worked until last year, he suddenly claimed there was no work and cut his annual salary to 32/year (worked 5 months)
-2 Kids, 7 & 13 (13 lives with me, doesn`t visit dad/7 does every other weekend)
-Signed temporary custody and access agreement March 2012 indicating dad gets every other weekend and one dinner a week plus XXXX amount of Child support to be paid to me as of April 2012 and every month there after
-Feb 2012 I changed the locks on the matrimonial home (he was emptying house while I was at work)
-March 2012, rips out the camper out of our lots and hides it (I was maintaining the monthly payment)
-May 2012, returned camper to the bank
-July 2012, forced out of the house as I could no longer afford it, a few days later, he brought the mortgage up to date (it now belongs to the bank)
-Aug 2012, move into a rental property with my two kids
-Oct 2012, stops paying child support
-Nov 2012, forced out of rental property as I can`t afford rent and joint debts
-Nov 2012, moved again me and my kids with new boyfriend (either that of I was going to a woman’s shelter) he laughed and said the kids can go live with him
-Dec 2012, signed a consumer proposal
-Dec 2012, I offered to begin the week on week off access (13 yr old refuses to go)
-Feb 2013, motion for child support got remanded to April 2013
-Feb 2013, registered with FRO
-April 2013, in the process of signing bankruptcy

My question is, where do I stand in arrears and do assets count as far as far as child support. Will I eventually be entitled for spousal.
 
First off, take out the cheating issue, it does impact you emotionally in court, but doesn't make an impact on support or custody issues.

So how when you registered with FRO(which you should have done earlier), did they ask about arrears? When my ex took our agreement to FRO, they aksed me about arrears, and contacted her to get agreement that I was not in arrears. But it took FRO three months to contact me (I had been paying directly through email transfers to that point, so I had proof).

Thirteen is a tricky age. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you need to encourage him to have some kind of relationship even if it isn't as much as the dad would like. You have to set aside support issues and disdain for this man and consider that the courts believe that it is in the best interests of the child to maintain a relationship with both parents.

Spousal support isn't automatic, you have to prove entitlement, and I think you need to consult a lawyer. Did your career/earning potential suffer as a result of being in the marriage?

Assets do NOT count as child support. They are separate. Will you have any net assets after all the joint debts are taken care of? Were any of the debts extraordinary? Things that could be excluded from being joint debts?
 
I registered with FRO at the beginning of March 2013, yes I indicated in the registration package that STBX was in arrears (6 months) in the amount of XXXX and attached a copy of the temporary custody and access agreement that we both signed in March 2012.​
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D13 has been removed by CFS while in his care in Dec 2012 and it has been the OCL`s recommendation that she remains with me full time and visits Dad as she wishes. I encourage both my kids to have a relationship with their Dad, I think it`s important and I hope one day this does change. I`ve been trying since we separated to have D13 visit her dad and she finally tried in Dec 2012, ended up in the hospital (depression and suicidal) and tried again after that in January 2013 and that`s when CFS stepped in. D7 visits Dad on a week on week off basis (sort of). ​
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I do have a lawyer who has basically done nothing for me. High bill amount with no results. I had to miss a lot of work in 2012, constantly dealing with his threats and so on but besides that I do have a pretty stable job. I was just thinking that because my kids aren`t living to the standards they are used to, I thought maybe that would be enough for the judge to grant spousal support. ​
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We have some assets, once this is all set and done, all pretty much in his possession. He is filing for bankruptcy as well which will have an impact on the above mentioned assets.​
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He keeps on saying that Im the one who will suffer in the end, I`ll have to pay him child support. To me, it makes no sense. He says he owes me nothing.​
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I appreciate your feedback, thank you.​
 
Have you spoken to FRO? You won't have them really working on this for a few months from now as their involvement is recent.

Bankruptcy is sounding like the right option for you. So currently you are living with a boyfriend?

I think you would be able to prove an entitlement to SS. Does he have a lawyer?
 
I spoke to FRO a few days ago and they still haven`t processed the information in their system. I can`t wait tìl this happens. I understand FRO takes long, I wasn`t under the impression that I personally can move forward with them until a friend of mine told me I could. I asked my lawyer numerous times and she ignored my request. This could have all been dealt with.

Yes, Im living with my boyfriend.

He does have a lawyer who apparently informed STBX not to continue paying child support. I haven`t received a dime since Oct 2012.

Motion for CS is in 9 days, hopefully something happens.

STBX claims that he had to take a lower paying job. I have a hard time beleiving that. Still to this day, did not receive his financial information from last year or the previous. Not sure if he filed his taxes in 2011.

So frustrating, I just want to move on!
 
And how effective are they. STBX thinks he`s god`s gift.

Will FRO base it on our temporary custody and access agreement where he stated he would pay XXXX amount or will they base it on his current income (which apparrently has droped drasctically)
 
I find FRO to be very effective. They should base it on his last 3 years of NOA's. Did you send in a statement of arrears? And get it signed by a commissioner of oaths? Nothing will happen til that is done.

FRO has my ex by the NECK, which is perfect because he's a non-complying jerk. But he's cooperating now. For now.
 
Everything was sent in and filed through court. They (I hope) have all the info they need.

Did you proceed with motion for child support prior to going to FRO.
 
"Everything" was sent in, in my case too. Make SURE they have a notarized stmt of arrears. Don't assume they do. Go to FRO's site and print it out. You will need to sign and complete it. Get it sworn. FRO will not do a damn thing without this regardless of the court order. I've had to send one in 3x. For arrears. For "new arrears" and for court ordered "costs".

If you did not fill one out then it's not done. 'Hoping' won't help. Print it out and send it in. Make copies. Do this ASAP. They often wait a while to give out this very necessary "instruction."

I went to trial. I never had any interim orders.
 
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FRO goes by registered court orders only. Your temp agreement...was it ratified in court? (ie. does it have a file number and a judges signature).

If it DOES, then they will use that, until they are provided an updated one.
 
DAHP_01_05_12 said:
I was just thinking that because my kids aren`t living to the standards they are used to, I thought maybe that would be enough for the judge to grant spousal support.
Click to expand...

Just to put this into perspective, you can't maintain the standard of living after separation as you had before separation. that would be grossly unfair.

The income you both had going into one house is now going to be split between two homes, two roofs, two property taxes, utilities etc etc. Taking all his money isn't going to be maintaining the children's standard of living at his house.

The fact is there is now more expenses after the break up with the same income as before the breakup. The math doesn't add up anyway the government or yourself do the math, someone has to lower their standard.
The fairest way to do this is to acknowledge there is more expenses and lower both homes the same amount. The child support guidelines don't do this.

On top of all that is the fact that you have stated that you both were up to your eyes in debt. I'm guessing that this is because the both of you were living above your means. So trying to maintain your children's standard of living now is even less fair. In the best interests of the children, sit them down and explain that things have changed and because there is now two homes, they (the children) will have to understand changes need to be made.
This will benefit and prepare them for the real world.

Lastly you stated that your ex has reduced thier income, I know this is what you think has happened and blame the ex for it but sometimes life throws you a lemon. I have a friend who was making over $100,000 a year, then one day his company restructured the organization and let him go. Now he's out of work and has been for over 2 months now, and finding another $100,000 dollar job is not that easy if it were, we would all have them.

So plan as if he is telling you truth that there's less work.

The best way to proceed long term both for yourself and your children is to plan to be self reliant and budget with what you know you have. Your own income, with that provide the necessities of life, food, shelter etc etc. then anything else you get is icing on the cake. This will reduce both your stress and allow you to move on.

No I'm not saying that he shouldn't be paying you support be it child or spousal. I'm simply stating that it's unrealistic to expect yourself to provide the same standard of living as before if you were going into debt, living under one roof, etc. etc.

Thats my two sense.
 
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